it's been awhile

[princessbella3]

so. it's been awhile since my last update. and i figure that i should just write something because i can

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hey hun

[silverwolf3]

sigh, so, i think writting to you in here has helped me a bit. I've begun to find a place and rythem in my life. However, i have found that in letting myself think about you again, ALL my feelings for you are resurfacing with a vengence. I feel a deep need for you. But, i also have been able to come to terms a bit with the idea that i will never be able to have you again. its weird, i know. and seems contradictory, but i feel all my love for you, and my deep need for you, but also can live my life (at least to an extent) because you are always in my mind, so in a way you are always with me.
I tried to hook up our scanner to the computer to download some old pictures of you. I wanted to make some wallet size pictures of my favorit pictures of you. but the scanner wouldnt work with the new family computer, and i couldnt get it to work when i tried it on my computer either (its about 1.5 years old). so i waas upset, but mom suggested taking them to walgreens and scanning them to cd there, then making them. i think i'll try that.
you know, mom actually misses you too. she said that you were the most normal girl i ever went out with, and that she really misses how she could talk with you so easily when you were over. I think she also knows how unhappy i have been since leaving you, and it makes her sad.