Sabatical
So I keep telling people especially nosey relatives, that I am on a sabatical from the opposite sex.
My grandmother seems to think that I need to find an older man, around 28 or so with a good job who will spoil me. Which is exactly what I DONT want. At that point the guy is ready to settle down, and Im just not there yet. I need to be me and settle with myself first. I need to be at peace and happy. There is always baggage, but at least I can eliminate some. I know what I think I want, and hopefully some day Ill be ready.
I hate hurting people, especially people I really care about, and this last relationship mess was my fault. The line its not you its me really did apply. For some reason I cant find happiness with someone who is so safe and comfortable and caring and would keep me content. Why I crave a connection in every possible way, who knows. Why I couldnt just let myself be loved and cherished, I dont know. I dont really like drama. But I want someone who understands me. And understands what Ive been through. Ive been told by my mother that Im high maintenance, not by material things, but emotionally. Ive been told by some of my male friends that Im too independant to let a guy take care of me, and men want to do that. So I need to learn that depending on people isnt a bad thing. When the right person comes along, I guess all bets are off.
So currently, Im on a sabatical. And for the record just because you hang out with a guy doesnt mean that you want them. I know I know, the minute you swear off the opposite sex, life changes your plans, but I really have no interest in a relationship of any sort other than friendship. I have a battery operated friend for a reason.
My grandmother seems to think that I need to find an older man, around 28 or so with a good job who will spoil me. Which is exactly what I DONT want. At that point the guy is ready to settle down, and Im just not there yet. I need to be me and settle with myself first. I need to be at peace and happy. There is always baggage, but at least I can eliminate some. I know what I think I want, and hopefully some day Ill be ready.
I hate hurting people, especially people I really care about, and this last relationship mess was my fault. The line its not you its me really did apply. For some reason I cant find happiness with someone who is so safe and comfortable and caring and would keep me content. Why I crave a connection in every possible way, who knows. Why I couldnt just let myself be loved and cherished, I dont know. I dont really like drama. But I want someone who understands me. And understands what Ive been through. Ive been told by my mother that Im high maintenance, not by material things, but emotionally. Ive been told by some of my male friends that Im too independant to let a guy take care of me, and men want to do that. So I need to learn that depending on people isnt a bad thing. When the right person comes along, I guess all bets are off.
So currently, Im on a sabatical. And for the record just because you hang out with a guy doesnt mean that you want them. I know I know, the minute you swear off the opposite sex, life changes your plans, but I really have no interest in a relationship of any sort other than friendship. I have a battery operated friend for a reason.