part 4
Friday, October 14, 2005
i love being the good girl ... =)
Current mood: busy
METROPOLIS is the best f*cking club ever invented other than district but for now i'm infatuated ...
the night before last after dropping jennii off at steven's it was their anniversary too cute what he did but anyway ... i went to ronald's turtle came over we ran a mission to north miami beach and i had some kahlua and some of ronald's fruitty drink mix very little i was lightly buzzed the whole night it was all very uneventful we called the cops on psychogirl b.c she kept writing to us she got arrested and ronald later placed a restraining order on her i passed out early
so yesterday i skipped school and work and slept in @ ronald's woke up went to eat denny's with my litto one ... then we went to the beach hung out with my ex george and my brother's friends ... we had fun then went back to ronald's i passed out like whoa way out ... and woke up to get dressed ... i hated what i wore it was one of those backless shirts that i hate my boobs were comeing out all night ... i wanted to wear it with jeans but everyone insisted i wear caro's double 0 abercrombie skirt mind you its huge one me i think its just stretched out ... i didn't wnna go home to get clothes so ya kno ... i had to wear what i could ... i was planning on getting home early really only went b.c jenny was going and she told me i'd better go ... so i did but i was with ronald and caro and yuni and then the second half of the night ... wait for it ... emma ! ... weird yes ... awkward yes ... was she nice? ... partially ... like she offered to take a pic of ronald caro and i ... so she was trying to be nice & i said ok ... but i came out with a shit face ... i guess my subconcious uncomfort was captured in the pic ... her gay friend tony is really friendly and funny and cool he danced with me and everything ... the other one danee not so nice not so anything as a matter of fact ...
but anyway jenny had some drama as usual but it ended up ok and we all had a blast i wasn't enjoying it at first but i found dyangolo happily ((remember that? lmao)) and Carlos and they bought a bottle i got ronald a drink and we danced our asses off there i saw my ex george again he was with my other ex mike and alan ... they were super nice ... mike was kinda possesive and one of his boys while i was dancing onstage grabbed me and pulled me offstage TWICE !! i was like WTF and i told mike to make him stop and he's like backoff thats my girl and i'm like EX GIRL!! lol ... then we started walking around thats when we ended up with emma and her friends stayed there the rest of the night except when i had to circle the club twice to find alexa ... i didn't but jenny did so no heat around 3 we left i was tried and had school today so i said bye to tony and then emma just to be nice and do you know that the girl did?! she says bye then taps me on the shoulder whe i turned around and she's like sorry to break it to you but lets not do that again or something like that i just smiled and kept walking cuz i had no idea what she said i had to process it you know loud music etc ... then i was like that bitch! but w.e i felt really awkward saying bye to her aswell knowing she was david's or is or w.e girlfriend and that i kissed him and she's kissed him and i don't know but its not the same like with ceci i don't feel weird but emma and i have or had beef iduno those were the thoughts running through my mind but w.e the night turned out fuckin awesome no problems getting in not that i ever have any no beef no fights no drama all my bestfriends were there well 2 of my 4 jennii and ronald ...
sasha and ale are beggining to show their true colors ... well i already know sasha its not unexpected just annoying that she constantly sells people out ... including me ... and ale well i was warned about her .... then turned into her ... then snapped out of it and i still like her but she's not all that dependable she's not the person to call when you're crying neither is jenny but i can do it ale is more of like a go out and have fun with her but don't get too close she's one of the coolest people i know to hang out with but i'd rather not get into detail about her...
anyway we went to get food and emma passed by ronald's to pick david up but he had knocked out at Jorge's i was eating mcdonald's with ronald and caro and she called and caro let her in she was by herself and to myself i was like "ok and i thought it couldn't get any weirder" ... she had come to show them the pix w.e dawg ... i mean if i were her i'd avoid seeing me at all costs but i guess i would also be curious about me too i was curious about her when i found out she existed so i think i understand
anyway i slept over ronald's and took little caro to school today then went to class got there on time and copied some notes in the library and headed over to work ... and here i am writing my blog ... still have not spoken to robert ... haven't though much about him either he was just my escape like a different world from the real one ... he fucked it up ... he'll regret it soon enough b.c he knows:
i may not always be so great at it but ... i am the good girl ... i am wifey ... i don't drink unless i'm with close friends staying at a house never at parties or clubs i smoke 2 or 3 cigarrettes a day i don't smoke weed i don't do any drugs for that matter ... i've never cheated on anybody i rarely dance with guys i don't know ... even more rarely do i kiss someone i don't know ... can't even remember the last time considering i was drunk and i don't drink anymore not b.c i have anything against these things but i just happen not to do them ... i'm not saying i NEVER get drunk or that i NEVER do drugs but its once every 3 or 4 months on special occasions and really i just don't enjoy it ... so its usually peer pressure ... yes after months of "caro please you never get f*cked up with us" ... i'm like ok fine but i usually don't enjoy myself all that much ... all though i do like my glass of wine or kahlua here or there lol =) well i have actual work to do ... so catch ya laterz *KisSeS* - CarO
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Wednesday, October 12, 2005
THE ONLY THING A GIRL SHOULD BE CHASING IS HER SHOT
Current mood: annoyed
so here's how its going down... i blocked everyone related to robert including him ... not nica or lee b.c they haven't done anything to me but i won't hesitate... not up for the drama!!
i am very independant i'm almost 2 years ahead of my graduating class ...
on my own by my damn self i'm practically finished with all the requirements to get into FSU's program and my AA
i'm working making anywhere from 250 - 300 $$ a week depending on how many days i feel like working
my mom has given up on me i do these things because i fucking feel like it and not because anyone makes me ...
i'm getting fucking great grades ... and in december i'm buying my own car... that mean... i can move out if i wanted to i'm seriously considering it ...
my mother has the balls to call jenny and tell her off b.cuz i didn't wake up ... my mother is the only one out of all my friend's mother's that does not wake me up for school ... at jenny's house everyone is nice to me they love me and its not fair that my mother hates jenny and treats her like shit ... if i left it to my mom to get me up in the morning i'd never get there... i'm buying an alarm clock aswell...
i hate fucking drama but every year around fall my life flips upside down last year i got caught doing drugs the weekend i came back from Europe ... then jenny and i got in a fight Carli died rip... then everything got good for my birthday and christmas and then great through spring and summer but here comes august and here we are again with the drugs and the drama... except i don't do drugs but i get blamed for it ... this time i took jenny's side as i should have last year and now its my mother ... the year before last i was with leo and in august janina had an abortion ... that year wasn't terrible but i had a boyfriend and i never went out ...he died in jan 04' rip... the year before that jenny and i got caught sneaking out ... i was punished for 2 months ...
its like every Autumn like clockwork i find myself in the midst of fucking drama in more and more trouble and stress ... well sorry not this year as of today october 12 i'm ignoring and blocking every single negative pesron involved or un involved in my life fuck them all ... Ale says i should get a boyfriend...
but like Cec says ... THE ONLY THING A GIRL SHOULD BE CHASING ... IS HER SHOT
plus there's so many boys and i really don't like anyone all that much ... i mean robert yeah i like him ... but thats like a one day in the far away future i'll love him ... not now ... then there are my boytoys ... but those are all useless ... honestly i couldn't be more un interested ...
i still haven't found a boy to make me sigh and sweep me off my feet as much as i like to lie to myself and say so ... i haven't ... read my blogs i always claim to like this one or the other one so0oo000o0 much ... but really i just think its me wanting to like them more than actually liking them...
so a boyfriend? ... no thanks ... i don't like titles ... when i really care about someone i have no idea any one else exists i don't need to be the girlfriend to be faithful to them i just am ... it comes naturally ... not gunna lie i get hit on a lot ... hello i'm lyk "HOTAZFUK" lol jk no but really i've never paid attention to anyone that i didn't meet mutually ... and if i'm in love ... its like no other guy even exists ... there's the problem ... no1 has swept me off my feet nothing impresses me ... not robert not david not chino ... maybe one of the FSU boys but they're too far lol anyway i'm gunna take a nap on my desk my boss is in New York and i'm just here to "hold down the fort"
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who lied?
who the fuck told you my last blog was to you ... you psycho ass girl get over yourself ... now blocking all of you ...biie =) now if ur reading i know ur getting on thru other people's MS's ... yeah prove my point... stalk me bitch!! and write w.e the fuq you want told you i'm not writing back ... robert can write w.e the fuq he wants ... sweetheart i'm 17 incase you haven't noticed allowed to be little if i want to ... as for robert i've sent him to hell before and he came back swearing that he cares about me so0o0o much and told me never to let anyone convince me that he doesn't care that i'm the girl he's going to when he wants to settle down ... sound familiar yeah its his game get used to it get over it =) CarO
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Tuesday, October 11, 2005
late night insomnia
Current mood: complacent
Category: Life
girls are bitches nosey slutty whiney catty bitches ...
guys are assholes until they come running back as they all do ...
what goes around comes around its called karma the more bad things you do ... the more bad things come back to you.
you create loops and everything goes around in circles you do good you get good, and i'm not talking about giving a dollar to the homeless voice guy on 107 & kendall every morning (though it could put you up a point or two) i mean being a friend sticking by someone's side when things get tough then when things seem all uphill for you that person will be there to lighten the load ... when you're about to say something bad about someone and you know when it gets back to them they'll never let it go and so you hold your tongue no matter how badly you want to say it later on you never know the person could change and become one of the best people you come across...
i've made my fair share of mistakes, i'm only 17 and i'm still learning, believe me i try to hold my tongue or really my hand but sometimes i can't resiset temptation othertimes its carelessness things slip ... i have no regrets ... don't believe in them... but i do believe in learning from your experiences and you must have downs in order to go up like a good friend of mine says: No Rain, No Rainbows ...
i'm not gunna lie, right now there's a rain storm thundering its way through my world ... but slowly i know it will end as all things have their expiration dates and soon enough i'll have My Sunshine
when Leo died i thought i'd never live to see daylight again that i'd drown in my tears and my blood but one year eight months and 26 days later here i am stronger and with more right in me than ever, sometimes ... lately in particular it feels like i'm playing tug of war and its the whole world vs. me "ya me traigo por la izquierda y de pelea con el mundo"
why i'm not so sure i must have done something wrong slong the way ... or maybe my life is on like one of those scaled i had a great summer ... the summer people dream about and to balance things out ... to keep me in check ... here comes the bad side ... nothing lasts forever not the bad not the good only thing that lasts forever is the balance
in the past 2 months i've been really hurt by a number of people, but i've hurt people too sometimes it was a conscious decision, out of spite or bitter reactions but i can admit to it and apologize if given the chance ... other times it was nothing more than bad luck
sometimes you have to learn that you are not surrendering (or givig in or failing) its acceptance (wisdom to understand that there is no other way) i read that in a book and its the truth you can't fight your way through life but once you start it takes a more courage to accept than it did to begin the fight in the first place
so i accept ... everything ... not so sure what that means exactly but regardless i do, i accept
robert, you really hurt me ... again ... i don't know what i'm going to do you were my escape from everything all i had to do was call and i was in another world another place with you ... i know you told me not to write to your dumb ass girlfriends but they kept erasing everything and all my messages said were that i hoped you felt better and that i missed you
ukw i don't even know what to say other than damnit i need you ... i don't know for what or why but i do you are me and i am you and i realize i have nothing to give nothing to work with i know but whats done is done and i still need you and the funny thing is you'd think i'd be crying over robert, but no i'm crying for you
i'm torn i can't decide whether to say fuck the world or say sorry
too weak to give in too strong to lose ...
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stupid stupid robert & those stupid stupid girls ...
Current mood: aggravated
so ... i'm not quite sure what to think ... Robert claims there's some girls that control his myspace ... and theres this one girl who wrote that she designed it ... just so happens she's friends with sum chik he was or probably is fucking around with ... also just so happens that i posted a comment while he was online and it was erased!! so i posted another and noticed that chick was online too ... so i posted a 3rd she erased it too atleast robert says its her and it makes sense b.c i kno he's at work ... anyway ... then i see he posts a bulletin saying he likes some chick and when he makes love with girls he thinks of her ... haha!! now as mispelled as the bulletin might have been ... what kind of guy does that ?!? plus is he stupid enough to post a bulletin when he knows i'm online all day at work ... c'mon! dude ... thats fine ... so i call him and bitch about it ... i'm not his girlfriend i know that but i don't have to be .... i'm put in first place ornothing at all so i wrote that to him in a text and fuck that i told him not to call me until he thought about it ... which he won't ... he was overly nice on the phone he was like baby you're making me feel like i have a girlfriend and i don't you're trying to rank on me you're acting like my girlfriend ... and OMG i was like ok fine maybe i am but you like to act like my boyfriend don't you?!? ... does he think i'm gonna be his if he's not atleastputting me before any of his other little sluts ... this morning i left his house kissed him and he's like "i'll call you when i get out of work baby" ... sorry if thats not acting like my fucking boyfriend then i don't know what is but damnit i let him talk about other girls i tease him about it ok fine ... i'm not the jealous type i make fun of him telling him to use protection and he swears he doesn't have sex or make love like he says whatever you wanna call it ... but i draw the line when some girl is telling him i love you and they're making plans to chill ... sorry NO! he's told me i love you before and i have yet to say it to him ... sometimes he takes it back telling me he can't say it cause i'll get too attatched ... but i'm not in love with him i love him but its not like that yet i don't feel IN love with him i just love spending time with him i love how he treats me and i know he loves partsof me aswell and its one of those things that the more time we spend together the more we want to be together ... i might have fucked it up by overreacting but now we'll see how much he really cares ... i strongly believe
If you love something let it go, if it comes back its yours.
If it doesn't, it never was ...
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Robert & Carolina ... here we go again ... =)
Current mood: sick
my Fridge omg he was in a motorcycle accident around 3 in the morning sunday night i was driving home from picking my car up at Ronald's by that time with little Caro after space no wonder i couldn't sleep and actually finished my paper ... his bike is totalled he called me monday around 2 in the afternoon to tell me ... i flipped i turned pale i was shaking Nica was on the back of the bike poor Nica he has road rash all over his back and butt Robert was wearing a helmet and his jacket and gloves ... Nica was in his wifebeater and basketball shorts .... no helmet ... FUCK ! ! DON'T THEY LEARN ? ! ? BOYS ... DO THEY NOT REMEMBER I MET ROBERT IN THE HOSPITAL WHERE CARLY DIED ... FROM A MOTORCYCLE ACCIDENT ! ! ! i've never seen robert so calm, so down save the one time he's ever cried at about 4 in the morning while we were praying a huge group of us infront of where Carly died... he was quiet all last night ... tired he barely ate ... he was so sad about his bike ... i was actually surprised he called me i mean he calls me but i mean of all the girls he could have called to be by his side he called me to spend the night with him we fell asleep about ten he knocked out cold but around 12 i woke up feeling sick to my stomach i sat on the floor of his bathroom till about 1 coughing and about to throw up ... i went back to bed when i felt better and his sister got home the stupid dog kept waking me up but i just loved being there with him knowing he needed someone to be with and the fact that he called me means a lot coming from him he's so great i just i'm scared he'll end up hurting me again ... i'm ready and willing to stop eating shyt and settle down a little bit i don't mean like marry ing type deal just you know staying home more often spending more time with him and less time with other people he seems like he has the same thing in mind but then again he did last december too and instead of pulling through he got scared and left i don't know but i do know this he and i love to be together i feel calm and complete by his side i like it and i like him ... =)
i swear i could not go through losing someone close to me again god forbid anything ever happen to jenny sasha ronald caro ale robert or my brother mom dad aunt even oscar ... i think i would die ... maybe not physically but at some point you lose yourself after so much pain ... i've been to that place i know where it is and how to get there ... because about 2 weeks after Leo died ... i was there ... everything is black and the few lights are dim ... you'd rather not be ... nobody knows it people who love you try to pull you out but you refuse the only way to come back is time but ... what if i fall in there again? what if this time i cannot come out ... i know they say the human spirit can surpass any pain but how many times i'd rather myself be hurt than these people ... <3 CarO
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Monday, October 10, 2005
Space ... and you'd just love for me to write a blog about you
Current mood: amused
i kno i kno it was all ages but mii litto CarO wanted to go and BIG CarO would never sell her out ... so Ceci and her little sister Maria joined us we went it was ok we promoted and skipped the line so that was cool cause it went around the block and then some ... it got ghetto so we left and ate pizza @ cazzola's and i stayed up till 6 in the morning finishing my paper ... and then my wonderful mother doesn't wake me up for school .... jenny does but too late damnit i really wanted to go ...!!!! anyway ... we were looking around on myspace theres this big deal about a blog some psycho bitch wrote ... i bet you think this blog is about you, don't you, don't you? ... no! ...
actually i wanted to thank a couple people ... first off and believe it or not emma, yes she did call me psycho ... but i think the same of her and its understandable considering david is the one translating everything, anyway i wanted to thank her for dropping it and for telling b.i.t.c.h. to drop it as well, i also wanted to thank turtle for defending me and telling b.i.t.c.h. to leave everyone (including me) alone, to mii litto CarO ... she's not a whore... i mean she didn't fuck other guys while she was in a 5 year relationship with a MAN who adored her and treated her like a princess did she?, a b.i.t.c.h. like that is what I would call a whore, i don't know about you ... anyway Ronald is another one i must thank i love you darling you are a beautiful person and your heart is too big and too sweet to be treated the way its been you deserve better prettier SMARTER more appreciative people in your life you are still my friend you did not turn your back on me like some others and for that you have my friendship and my trust for ever and ever don't you ever let anyone change you ... sorry, this blog is not about you, you are nothing and these people deserve my attention more than you KiSseS & <33 CarO
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Sunday, October 09, 2005
mypaper
Current mood: busy
Category: School
Carolina Valladares
October 3, 2005
Issues in Lit. & Cult.
MWF 8-850
A Comparison of Women’s Roles in
“The Horse Whisperer” and “A Doll’s House”
Women’s rights and roles have always been issues in society. Here we have a
book (“The Horse Whisperer”) and a play (“A Doll’s House”) which take place in
two very different settings, not only in time but place. Annie the Main
Character in “The Horse Whisperer” and Nora the main character in “A Doll’s
House”, appear to be two very different women when really they have a number of
things in common. Ambition, determination, hard-work ethics, and families to
care for, are just some of the qualities shared by these two dynamic women. In
my comparison of the two writings I will explore the similarities and
differences in these women’s roles in their societies, as well as in their
homes. Also I will compare the decisions they made at the end of each story and
their irony.
Annie is the mother of a single child, at the beginning of the book you may
assume that the main character would be the child, Grace, because she is the
one whom suffers the accident and it is her soul and her horse whom is being
healed, when in fact the main character is really Annie. Grace is one of the
major characters but the book is based more on Annie’s actions and decisions
rather than Grace’s recovery process. Both mother and daughter experience a
journey not the literal road trip but more the journey to find their personal
strength. Originally Annie is the boss at home, though her husband and her both
have high income jobs it is clear that once they discuss a certain issue what
she says goes. For example : “The Friday night crawl of traffic invariably made
her crabby and impatient and she would compensate by taking charge, telling
Robert, Grace’s father, to slow down or speed up or take some devious route to
avoid delays. He never bothered to argue, just did as he was told, though
sometimes he would sigh or give grace, relegated to the backseat, a wry glance
in the mirror.”(p. 4) The author is sure to make it more than clear that Annie’
s personality is a bit obsessive compulsive, and that she is the head of the
house.
Annie is an intelligent independent woman who loves her family, but tends to
feel the need to be occupied with something to feel stable. When she sees the
way her daughter is affected by this traumatic incident, losing a part of her
leg, as well as her best friend, and being taunted in school, Annie decides to
make a trip across the country. This is run through her husband quickly and
though he disagrees she does so regardless. When Grace and Annie reach their
destination and begin to work with Pilgrim, Annie begins to see things in a
different light she slowly but not unconsciously lets her work back home slip
away. Also she lets herself begin to have feelings for this man, Tom Booker,
the horse whisperer; though she knows she has a loving husband at home. Though
seemingly rash and at times morally incorrect, Annie’s decision to take Grace
far away from home when she is emotionally instable and scared, were with good
intentions for her daughter. Because Annie lived closer to today’s society they
were not seen as crimes disobeying the male figure, but merely acts cultivated
by the natural human desire to be happy, and the rights women have now come to
hold; in this case she is naturally accustomed to controlling situations, this
may have sparked the fire between Tom and Annie. In the beginning Evans shows
how her husband bends to her every demand, Tom on the other hand stands his
ground when he knows he’s got a point. For example, while bringing down Pilgrim
on his side Annie questions Tom, and his reaction is:
“You’re wrong. It’s not cruel. He had the choice”
“What are you talking about?”
… “he had the choice to go on fighting life or accept it” (p. 416)
Nora is what we would call a stay at home mother of many children. At first
she seems to rely solely on her husband’s income and be a frivolous spender as
well as an airhead. Her husband, Torvald, nick names her his “expensive pet”
(p. ) Later, we come to realize that this money she appears to be wasting has
not been wasted whatsoever. On the contrary she has been saving it, has been
working on the side, and has been thrifty in her spending as well. She has had
to manage a household the way her husband expects while saving every penny
possible.
This is because some time ago she illegally borrowed money by forging her late
father’s signature, and lied to her husband about it , so that she could take
him to Italy to cure him of a mortal illness he had been struck with. At the
time when Nora’s story takes place a woman borrowing money was a serious crime
and apparently punishable by law. Nora had been steadily paying back every cent
she could. This act of love and this sacrifice she had been making for so many
years without asking for gratitude shows she was a strong woman, someone of
good character and heart.
At the end of “The Horse Whisperer” Annie does not stay in the ranch where she
knows she’d have a chance to be happier, this is not what you’d expect. It is
true that Tom basically commits suicide to help her make her decision, but it
is implied that regardless of whether he had lived or not, she would have
returned to her family.
“Annie? do you understand? It’s real, real important you understand this.
Sometimes what seems like surrender isn’t surrender at all. It’s about what’s
going on in our hearts. About seeing clearly the way life is and accepting it,
and being true to it, whatever the pain, because the pain of not being true to
it is far, far greater. Annie I know you understand this” (p.417)
When Tom spoke these words to Annie she knew they were like a double sided
coin; he was literally talking about Pilgrim but implying that she too must
learn that lesson in order to have the strength to leave his side. This whole
ordeal had done a great deal of damage to her already iffy marriage, but more
than owing her return to her husband because of all the years he had lived with
the fact that she has never been completely his. She more so owed it to herself
and to Grace to finish repairing her relationship with her daughter. In my
opinion some situations are simply windows to show you the depth and power of
love without necessarily being doors to walk through. Her decision to go home
was ironic in the sense that being the independent powerful woman she was, she
chose the path back home instead of the one that led to complete freedom.
At the end of “A Doll’s House” Nora leaves her husband, Torvald. This is an
unexpected move on her part because now, when the truth is finally out and he
has decided not to leave her after all, it appears that everything will be
settled and they can now live happily ever after. Nora though, does not want to
rejoin him in their marriage. This is because even though she did commit a
crime, he was set on leaving her side for it, regardless of the fact that she
had broken the law for his life’s sake.
This recognition of sacrifice is where Annie and Nora differ. In “The Horse
Whisperer” all through the book there’s a little game played with a thin rope
that Annie as hard as she tries cannot pull off, when finally she accomplishes
this riddle she and tom are speaking to each other and as he watches her finish
this is said:
“He sat back in his chair and gave her a smile which was both loving and sad.
‘There you are,’ he said. ‘Now you know’
‘Do I get to keep the cord?’
‘You don’t need it anymore.’ And he took it and put it in his pocket” (p. 406)
Annie never realizes that Tom is giving up his happiness for her own good while
on the other hand it is Torvald this time that does not appreciate Nora’s
selfless attempt to help him et better.
This is when Nora realizes that his teasing and playful toy-like treating her
is not playful at all. Nora now sees that he never has seen her as a smart
hardworking woman but nothing more than his pet, his “doll”. She leaves him
with only the explanation that she has to find herself and figure out
everything that surrounds her. As is very obvious Nora lived in a time with
limited women’s rights and her roles’ were restricted to her home and her
children. Deciding to leave her husband is a brave and courageous statement on
her part.
Both Nora and Annie coming from completely different lifestyles and morals made
decisions that were far more difficult than they seemed. Nora’s decision to
leave her husband was totally understandable, but now when everything was out
in the open and she could finally live in peace she chose to free herself from
the dollhouse she lived in this gave her respect from the reader’s point of
view. Annie was madly in love with Tom, and it must have been one of the most
difficult decisions she ever had to make to leave his side for her family when
she had all the freedom and no one to stop her from it. If Annie had lived back
when Nora lived she would not have had the choice to stay or go, she might have
been forced to go back but she never took advantage of the fact that in this
story she did have a choice.
Annie returned home because she knew it would be best for her daughter and her
husband and eventually time would heal her wound. Another person with not so
much moral value might have stayed there even if Tom had died to sulk and
grieve for his memory. Sulking takes much energy and anyone is susceptible to
it, particularly left with wonderful memories such as these:
“’What are you looking at?’ she said gently.
He shrugged, ‘You. Does it bother you?’
‘I like it makes me feel I know what I’m doing’
‘You cook fine’
‘I can’t cook to save my life’
“’That’s ok, you can cook to save mine’”(p. 403)
Annie had no other choice to fall head over feet as any woman in her position
would have done, and so in conclusion; In my opinion it took just as much
courage for Annie to go back home as it did for Nora to leave her home. These two women did what they had to do their way and ironically in neither book did it end the way we expected.
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saturday night ... <3
Current mood: bored
well yesterday (saturday) i woke up at stevens with nick e poo and obviously jenny n steven we started watching movies and left to jenny's i got my toes done, took a nap babysitted the twins victoria and sofia ... and left home ... i got here and mi amor called me ( *Robert* ) and he told me to go over i stopped to get some food and hung out at his place for a while he lives there with his sister and they remodeled everything its a small studio but they got 2 new futons and a huge screen tv a new rug it looks really nice plus now when i sleep over his sister doesn't have to sleep on the floor ... anyway ... he was going out and i passed by to see my ex my first real thing Albert he called me so i went over to say hi and then went to Momo's there was alittle getty there but i was bored and went home the minute i got home i got a fone call from little peter so i went over his house it was like one peter shorty and i went to the jacuzzi and fell asleep watching movies we were supposed to go jet skiing today but one of his horses at the farm got hurt and he had to go help so i woke jenny and steven up took breakfast for them and we fell in and out of sleep until we were bored brainless jenny stayed but i came home to finish up my essay turns out i have to pick 10 quotes from those books to add into my essay thats due tomorrow ... so herte i got and thats my update ... <3 CarO
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Saturday, October 08, 2005
last night ... woo hoo!
Current mood: cheerful
lmao Jenny Steven Nick and I went to Metropolis. Ale and Kevin met us there, as well as Franci and Ceci and Alex Jenny introduced me to the head of security and Mandy the owner ... so i got Cec and them in for free at like 1230 no line no nothing hee hee =)... we saw Devon he's expecting me to go see him in Tally in about 2 weeks lol hmmm... sounds very very complicated we also saw San Juan and Frankie ... i kissed Devon ... "after four shots of tequila" lmao yup ... Ale wanted to kill me b.c she had kissed him once but he was trying to kiss me the whole night and he kept telling me how in Tallahassee he had told Franci to hook him up with me but she told him that Ale was the one who liked him ... and i ended up kissing him ... then Ale asked me and ofcourse i would never lie to her so i told her the truth ... she flipped and kevin wasn't too thrilled about it ... and Devon kept telling me "but she's with her boyfriend!! ... and he's a friend of mine from highschool" and she was in the other ear telling me someother shyt and i raised my hand and anounced "ok i'm officially in an awkward position!!" lol i took him to the bathroom cause he had been trying to pee the whole night when we ran into Ceci and she was crying b.c the asshole take a wild guess told her they couldn't be together unless she moved down from Gainseville ... she was a little bit drunk and she got emotional and i totally understood her b.c david had me like that too at somepoint i actually believed all the things he told me Cec still does apparently and i don't blame her i held her and talked to her for a while until we found Franci and they got her some tequila ... Ale and Kevin wanted to leave so they went outside i stayed to talk to Devon for like 5 minutes ... and then Cec was calling me cause she was leaving ... so i went on a mission to look for her ... but she was already outside so Devon walked me to the door and i left ... Kevin took Ale home and then took me to Stevens i slept there with Jenny and Nick ... hes such a cutie pie =) ... he asked to kiss me the next morning ... i didn't cause you know i'm a good girl ... and he seems sweet he's so funny ... and Robert boy i really he's got me man but i'm not stupid and i know i'm not the only girl he has me but not heaven knows not blindfolded ... we have to give him time ... thats on the backburner lol =) mommii's joke!
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Friday, October 07, 2005
...
Current mood: crappy
Category: Blogging
even tho i wanna c
how u put that thing on me
i can't let you
get the
best of me
have an affair act like an adult for once...
isn't it ironic ... don't you think?
so i got that dreaded period and its been so long since i had sex it hurts to put tampons on ... yes caro minus sex plus period subtract partying add cramps and kissing robert goodbye so he could go chill with girls last night and you'd think i'd be in a bad mood ... really just a little touchy but i was inside roberts house his sister won't allow any hoes in his house lol ... only 2 of the 3 girls were allowed in and i was there chilling with jessi i really like her believe it or not ... and also i haven't wanted to go clubbing lately but remarkably i'm excited about 2nite ceci and i are going with jennii steven and nick to metropolis my id says i'm only 20 but jennii knows mandy personally so if we get there on time no heat ... my last time getting all dressed up for a while ... afterwards i wanna see mii baiibee ... i miss hiimmm my fridgerator
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Thursday, October 06, 2005
boredom...
Current mood: blah
Category: Quiz/Survey
1. When you look at yourself in the mirror, what's the first thing you look at? my overall appearance
2. How much cash do you have on you? $138
3. What's a word that rhymes with "TEST": chest
4. Favorite planet? saturn
5. Who is the 4th person on your missed call list on your cell phone? robert
6. What is your main ring tone on your phone? milkshake (kelis)
7. What shirt are you wearing? a hotazfuk tank and matching boyshorts w. cutoffs
8. Do you "label" yourself? yes, very preppy ... elegant when required
9. Name the brand of your shoes you're currently wearing? puma
1o. Bright or Dark Room? dark
11. What do you think of the person who posted this before you? hmm... dunno
12. Ever "spilled the beans?" too often i have no secrets of my own
13. What were you doing at midnight last night? in bed aching from all that cheerleading practice
14. What did your last text message you received on your cell phone say? "you have 1 new voice mail"
15. Do you click on "Pop Ups" or Banners? nope
16. What's a saying that you say a lot? i refer to myself in the third person i say kill urself and what the fuck!
17. Who told you they loved you last? robert lol he totally slipped though
18. Last furry thing you touched? my dog
19. How Many Drugs Have You Done In The Past Three Days? me? drugs? no thnx i just need my boytoy
2o. How many rolls of film do you need to get developed? none i develop one about every 2 weeks
21. Favorite age you have been so far? 17
22. Your worst enemy? girlfriends of former guy friends
23 What is your current desktop picture? me n leo my late b.f ... rest in peace
24. What was the last thing you said to someone? you slip a lot on bars too!
25. If you had to choose between a million bucks or to be able to change a major regret? a million dollars duh ... learn from your mistakes then go shopping and make yourself feel all better
26. Do you love/ like someone? maybe ... well yes infact i do
x your confessions...
[ ] I am bisexual
[ ] I am homosexual
[ ] I collect comic books.
[] I shut others out when I'm sad
[x] I open up to others easily
[] I am keeping a secret from the world
[] I read the news
[] I own over 5 rap CDs
[x] I own something from Hot Topic
[x]I like Disney movies
[] I am a sucker for eyes
[x] I curse regularly.
[] I've slipped out a "lol" in a real conversation.
[x] I own something from Abercrombie
[X] I have a job
[ ] I love Martha Stewart.
[x] I am in love/like with someone.
[x] I am self conscious
[x] I like to laugh.
[ ] I smoke a pack a day.
[] I have cough drops when I'm not sick.
[x] I have many scars
[x ] I've been out of this country
[x] I am really ticklish.
[ x] I love chocolate.
[x] I am comfortable with being me.
[] I play computer video games when I'm bored
[x] Gotten lost in the city
[x] Saw a star
[] I had a serious Surgery.
[x ]I have kissed a stranger.
[] Hugged a stranger.
[x] Been in a fist fight
[] Been arrested.
[ ] Laughed and had milk/soda come out of your nose.
[x] Pushed all the buttons on an elevator
[] Made out in an elevator.
[x] Swore at your parents.
[x] Kicked a guy where it hurts.
[ ] Been skydiving.
[ ] Been bungee jumping.
[] Broken a bone.
[x] Played spin the bottle.
[x] Gotten the chicken pox.
[] Ridden in a taxi.
[x] Shoplifted.
[] Been fired.
[x] had feelings for someone who didn't have them back.
[] Stole something from your job.
[ ] Had a crush on a teacher/coach.
[x] Saw someone/something dying.
[ x] Ridden over 400 miles in one day.
[x] Been on a plane.
[ ] Seen the Rocky Horror Picture Show.
[ ] Thrown up in a bar.
[x] Eaten Sushi.
[] Met someone in person from the internet.
[ ] been to a motocross show.
[x] Done hard liquor
[x] Taken painkillers.
[] Cheated on someone else
(x) smoked a cigarette
() smoked a cigar
(x) made out with a member of the same sex
( ) crashed a friend's car
( ) stolen a car
(x) been in love
(x) been dumped
(x) shoplifted
() been fired
(x) been in a fist fight
() snuck out of my parent's house
(x) had feelings for someone who didnt have them back
() been arrested
(x) made out with a stranger
( ) gone on a blind date
(x) lied to a friend
() had a crush on a teacher
(x) skipped school
( ) seen someone die
(x) had a crush on one of your myspace friends
() been to Canada
( ) been to Mexico
(x) been on a plane
( ) thrown up in a bar
() purposely set a part of myself on fire
(x) eaten Sushi
( ) been snowboarding
()met someone in person from myspace
( ) been in an abusive relationship
(x) taken painkillers
(x) love someone or miss someone right now
(x) laid on your back and watched cloud shapes go by
( ) made a snow angel
(x ) had a tea party
(x) flown a kite
(x) built a sand castle
() gone puddle jumping
(x) played dress up
(x) jumped into a pile of leaves
( ) gone sledding
(x) cheated while playing a game
(x) been lonely
(x) fallen asleep at work/school
(x) used a fake id
(x) watched the sun set
( ) felt an earthquake
(x) touched a snake
(x) slept beneath the stars
(x) been tickled
(x) been robbed
(x) been misunderstood
( ) pet a reindeer/goat..
() won a contest
(x) run a red light
() been suspended from school
()been in a car accident
() had braces
() felt like an outcast
(x) eaten a whole pint of ice cream in one night
(x) had deja vu
( ) danced in the moonlight
(x) hated the way you look
(x) witnessed a crime
( ) pole danced
(x) questioned your heart
(x) been obsessed with post-it notes
( x) squished barefoot through the mud
(x) been lost
( ) been to the opposite side of the country
(x) swam in the ocean
(x) felt like dying
(x) cried yourself to sleep
(x) recently colored with crayons/colored pencils/markers
( ) sung karaoke
(x) paid for a meal with only coins
(x) done something you told yourself you wouldn't
(x) made prank phone calls
( ) caught a snowflake on your tongue
(x) danced in the rain
(x) written a letter to Santa Claus
( ) been kissed under a mistletoe
(x) watched the sun set with someone you care about .. ok the sunrise..? same shit.
(x) blown bubbles
( ) made a bonfire on the beach
() crashed a party
(x) gone rollerskating
(x) had a wish come true
( ) humped a monkey
(x) worn pearls
() screamed penis in class
() ate dog/cat food
(x) told a complete stranger you loved them
(x) kissed a mirror
(x) sang in the shower
(x) had a dream that you married someone
(x) glued your hand to something
( ) got your tongue stuck to a flag pole
( ) kissed a fish
(x) been a cheerleader
(x) sat on a roof top
(x) screamed at the top of your lungs
() done a one-handed cartwheel
(x) talked on the phone for more than 6 hours
(x) stayed up all night
( ) didn't take a shower for a week
( ) pick and ate an apple right off the tree
(x) climbed a tree
(x) had a tree house
(x) are scared to watch scary movies alone
(x) believe in ghosts
( ) have more then 30 pairs of shoes
() worn a really ugly outfit to school just to see what others say
() gone streaking
(x) played ding-dong-ditch (Nigger knocking)
(x) played chicken
(x) been pushed into a pool with all your clothes on
(x) been told you're hot by a complete stranger
() broken a bone
(x) been easily amused
(x ) caught a fish then ate it
( ) made porn
(x) caught a butterfly
(x) laughed so hard you cried
(x) cried so hard you laughed
(x) mooned/flashed someone
(x) had someone moon/flash you
(x) cheated on a test
() made out in the rain
(x) had a Brittany Spears CD
(x) forgotten someone's name
(x) slept naked
(x ) French braided someones hair
() gone skinny dipping in a pool
() been kicked out of your house
() Undressed infront of someone you didnt know
() Watch a couple have sex
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mii babiiee
Current mood: ecstatic
Category: Love and Relationships
i stayed home today ... yes on a thursday ... well not necessarily home i went to see mii hunniibunn ... "my fridge" i mean lol ... shh!... don't tell but i think i'm... well i think i'm ... in love with him ... yeah i know i used the "L" word but i'm so happii when i'm with him ... its like there are parenthesis in my life during the time i'm with him i try to breath but he steals my breath every time ... I know you think i'm crazy for letting myself get like this but if you could only see the people we become when we're together i just wish i could be with him all the time i'd never get bored i swear that between our kisses and our playfights and our sillylittle jokes and his stupid cock eyedness when he's tired the way he thinks he could beat my ass (he really could though hello he's a fridgerator) but when i pinch him he yells like a little girl hes so funny the way he calls his bike his baby (dear god please take care of him if anything ever happened to him well i don't wanna go through that again ) ... hes so bad but his heart is so deep he's like a little boy swimming in a big lake he's just trying to see how far down he can got before picks a spot to lay back and relax ... he talks to other girls i know he does i make him tell me but he doesn't look at them the way he looks at me ... and i'm sprung for sure i don't feel like going out anymore i'd rather just be with him i don't know if he's my escape from the rest of the world or if the rest of the world has left me behind to find my way back to him ... he's scared of the real deep end he slips at times tells me he loves me i've never said it back ... i don't think i will i think that i will be his ground that place he's been looking for has been right behind him all the way ... i sound dumb but love is blind and maybe its time to go swimming
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Thursday, October 06, 2005
fuck the girlfriends ... btw all blogs will b viewed by friends only
look anna honey and emma leave me alone stop stalking me to find shit out about your boyfriends writing is the way i vent ... i have absolutely no secrets i'm not good at lying and i'm tired of this garbage ... honey get over it ronald and i are not have never and won't ever fuck around we are friends contrary to popular belief it IS possible for a guy and a girl to be nothing more than friends now you went and fucked it up by getting mad at him for something i wrote thats friend number one i lost ... annna i barely know you ... not that mau is that great of a friend but none the less hewas my friend and we got along well ... now i lost him too because you went searching through my shit ... never in any of my blogs has it said he cheated on you so get over yourself ... he was talking shit about me before you broke up with him and i told him then i wanted nothing more to do with him but now i'm not allowed over Ale's house thanks to you i hope carmen realizes what an idiot she is for thinking ALe's other friends are a better influence than i am i'm the one who's always begging her not to lie telling her not to smoke weed but fine they can all fuck off including you ... and to the other girlfriend just fuck offf ....
i have an anouncement to make ... only people on my friends list will be able to read my blogs anyone that i don't personally know will be deleted sorry ... can't trust anyone now can i?
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Tuesday, October 04, 2005
letter 2 litto caro
hii hunnii ... well ... ronald isn't answering my phone calls again so i'm going over there later to pick up my dress ... i still haven't worn the green tanktop but i promise to give it back with the belt i washed your black shirt so i'll take it to you ... i'm sorry all of this had to happen ... even Ale wrote something about me ... sasha sent it to me its on my blogs as you probably know anna broke up with mau b.c of what i wrote on my blogs well mau shouldn't have spent the entire day talking shit to jenny about me ... they work together now and he should know she's going to come and tell me every word he speaks so he pissed me off and i called him told him i didn't wanna be his friend anymore either and i wrote about it in my blogs i also wrote that i wasn't going to cover for anyone anymore david or mau are not my friends all they've brought me is problems and if i'm going to have their girlfriends up my ass trying to find shit out i'll fuckin tell them everything to get them off my case i have no reason to deal with the drama i have no right to cover up for them ... i'm not allowed at Ale's house anymore but i don't like going there anyway her mom is always bugging me about it ... and well its just a lot of crap i'm disappointed Ale didnt stand up for me but i know its her brother just like i know your brother probably asked you the same thing so i guess i'm writing to tell you i love you and to please tell ronald i love him that i'm going to miss you guys but i refuse to let everyoneflip shit on me ... emma looked for problems with me at the club ... how the fuq am i supposed to know anna has a myspace or knows what mine is? ... and its MY BLOG i can write whatever i want and if david mau or anyone doesn't like it then maybe they should talk to me like normal people or they should learn not to talk shit and maybe i wouldn't get so pissed that i have to write about it to vent ... i lost my cell phone but i love you and i'll kit and don't worry when i get a new car you can still keep mine for a whole 50 $$ lol kisSes - CarO
7:09 PM - 1 Comments - 2 Kudos - Add Comment - Edit - Remove
i love being the good girl ... =)
Current mood: busy
METROPOLIS is the best f*cking club ever invented other than district but for now i'm infatuated ...
the night before last after dropping jennii off at steven's it was their anniversary too cute what he did but anyway ... i went to ronald's turtle came over we ran a mission to north miami beach and i had some kahlua and some of ronald's fruitty drink mix very little i was lightly buzzed the whole night it was all very uneventful we called the cops on psychogirl b.c she kept writing to us she got arrested and ronald later placed a restraining order on her i passed out early
so yesterday i skipped school and work and slept in @ ronald's woke up went to eat denny's with my litto one ... then we went to the beach hung out with my ex george and my brother's friends ... we had fun then went back to ronald's i passed out like whoa way out ... and woke up to get dressed ... i hated what i wore it was one of those backless shirts that i hate my boobs were comeing out all night ... i wanted to wear it with jeans but everyone insisted i wear caro's double 0 abercrombie skirt mind you its huge one me i think its just stretched out ... i didn't wnna go home to get clothes so ya kno ... i had to wear what i could ... i was planning on getting home early really only went b.c jenny was going and she told me i'd better go ... so i did but i was with ronald and caro and yuni and then the second half of the night ... wait for it ... emma ! ... weird yes ... awkward yes ... was she nice? ... partially ... like she offered to take a pic of ronald caro and i ... so she was trying to be nice & i said ok ... but i came out with a shit face ... i guess my subconcious uncomfort was captured in the pic ... her gay friend tony is really friendly and funny and cool he danced with me and everything ... the other one danee not so nice not so anything as a matter of fact ...
but anyway jenny had some drama as usual but it ended up ok and we all had a blast i wasn't enjoying it at first but i found dyangolo happily ((remember that? lmao)) and Carlos and they bought a bottle i got ronald a drink and we danced our asses off there i saw my ex george again he was with my other ex mike and alan ... they were super nice ... mike was kinda possesive and one of his boys while i was dancing onstage grabbed me and pulled me offstage TWICE !! i was like WTF and i told mike to make him stop and he's like backoff thats my girl and i'm like EX GIRL!! lol ... then we started walking around thats when we ended up with emma and her friends stayed there the rest of the night except when i had to circle the club twice to find alexa ... i didn't but jenny did so no heat around 3 we left i was tried and had school today so i said bye to tony and then emma just to be nice and do you know that the girl did?! she says bye then taps me on the shoulder whe i turned around and she's like sorry to break it to you but lets not do that again or something like that i just smiled and kept walking cuz i had no idea what she said i had to process it you know loud music etc ... then i was like that bitch! but w.e i felt really awkward saying bye to her aswell knowing she was david's or is or w.e girlfriend and that i kissed him and she's kissed him and i don't know but its not the same like with ceci i don't feel weird but emma and i have or had beef iduno those were the thoughts running through my mind but w.e the night turned out fuckin awesome no problems getting in not that i ever have any no beef no fights no drama all my bestfriends were there well 2 of my 4 jennii and ronald ...
sasha and ale are beggining to show their true colors ... well i already know sasha its not unexpected just annoying that she constantly sells people out ... including me ... and ale well i was warned about her .... then turned into her ... then snapped out of it and i still like her but she's not all that dependable she's not the person to call when you're crying neither is jenny but i can do it ale is more of like a go out and have fun with her but don't get too close she's one of the coolest people i know to hang out with but i'd rather not get into detail about her...
anyway we went to get food and emma passed by ronald's to pick david up but he had knocked out at Jorge's i was eating mcdonald's with ronald and caro and she called and caro let her in she was by herself and to myself i was like "ok and i thought it couldn't get any weirder" ... she had come to show them the pix w.e dawg ... i mean if i were her i'd avoid seeing me at all costs but i guess i would also be curious about me too i was curious about her when i found out she existed so i think i understand
anyway i slept over ronald's and took little caro to school today then went to class got there on time and copied some notes in the library and headed over to work ... and here i am writing my blog ... still have not spoken to robert ... haven't though much about him either he was just my escape like a different world from the real one ... he fucked it up ... he'll regret it soon enough b.c he knows:
i may not always be so great at it but ... i am the good girl ... i am wifey ... i don't drink unless i'm with close friends staying at a house never at parties or clubs i smoke 2 or 3 cigarrettes a day i don't smoke weed i don't do any drugs for that matter ... i've never cheated on anybody i rarely dance with guys i don't know ... even more rarely do i kiss someone i don't know ... can't even remember the last time considering i was drunk and i don't drink anymore not b.c i have anything against these things but i just happen not to do them ... i'm not saying i NEVER get drunk or that i NEVER do drugs but its once every 3 or 4 months on special occasions and really i just don't enjoy it ... so its usually peer pressure ... yes after months of "caro please you never get f*cked up with us" ... i'm like ok fine but i usually don't enjoy myself all that much ... all though i do like my glass of wine or kahlua here or there lol =) well i have actual work to do ... so catch ya laterz *KisSeS* - CarO
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Wednesday, October 12, 2005
THE ONLY THING A GIRL SHOULD BE CHASING IS HER SHOT
Current mood: annoyed
so here's how its going down... i blocked everyone related to robert including him ... not nica or lee b.c they haven't done anything to me but i won't hesitate... not up for the drama!!
i am very independant i'm almost 2 years ahead of my graduating class ...
on my own by my damn self i'm practically finished with all the requirements to get into FSU's program and my AA
i'm working making anywhere from 250 - 300 $$ a week depending on how many days i feel like working
my mom has given up on me i do these things because i fucking feel like it and not because anyone makes me ...
i'm getting fucking great grades ... and in december i'm buying my own car... that mean... i can move out if i wanted to i'm seriously considering it ...
my mother has the balls to call jenny and tell her off b.cuz i didn't wake up ... my mother is the only one out of all my friend's mother's that does not wake me up for school ... at jenny's house everyone is nice to me they love me and its not fair that my mother hates jenny and treats her like shit ... if i left it to my mom to get me up in the morning i'd never get there... i'm buying an alarm clock aswell...
i hate fucking drama but every year around fall my life flips upside down last year i got caught doing drugs the weekend i came back from Europe ... then jenny and i got in a fight Carli died rip... then everything got good for my birthday and christmas and then great through spring and summer but here comes august and here we are again with the drugs and the drama... except i don't do drugs but i get blamed for it ... this time i took jenny's side as i should have last year and now its my mother ... the year before last i was with leo and in august janina had an abortion ... that year wasn't terrible but i had a boyfriend and i never went out ...he died in jan 04' rip... the year before that jenny and i got caught sneaking out ... i was punished for 2 months ...
its like every Autumn like clockwork i find myself in the midst of fucking drama in more and more trouble and stress ... well sorry not this year as of today october 12 i'm ignoring and blocking every single negative pesron involved or un involved in my life fuck them all ... Ale says i should get a boyfriend...
but like Cec says ... THE ONLY THING A GIRL SHOULD BE CHASING ... IS HER SHOT
plus there's so many boys and i really don't like anyone all that much ... i mean robert yeah i like him ... but thats like a one day in the far away future i'll love him ... not now ... then there are my boytoys ... but those are all useless ... honestly i couldn't be more un interested ...
i still haven't found a boy to make me sigh and sweep me off my feet as much as i like to lie to myself and say so ... i haven't ... read my blogs i always claim to like this one or the other one so0oo000o0 much ... but really i just think its me wanting to like them more than actually liking them...
so a boyfriend? ... no thanks ... i don't like titles ... when i really care about someone i have no idea any one else exists i don't need to be the girlfriend to be faithful to them i just am ... it comes naturally ... not gunna lie i get hit on a lot ... hello i'm lyk "HOTAZFUK" lol jk no but really i've never paid attention to anyone that i didn't meet mutually ... and if i'm in love ... its like no other guy even exists ... there's the problem ... no1 has swept me off my feet nothing impresses me ... not robert not david not chino ... maybe one of the FSU boys but they're too far lol anyway i'm gunna take a nap on my desk my boss is in New York and i'm just here to "hold down the fort"
2:12 PM - 0 Comments - 0 Kudos - Add Comment - Edit - Remove
who lied?
who the fuck told you my last blog was to you ... you psycho ass girl get over yourself ... now blocking all of you ...biie =) now if ur reading i know ur getting on thru other people's MS's ... yeah prove my point... stalk me bitch!! and write w.e the fuq you want told you i'm not writing back ... robert can write w.e the fuq he wants ... sweetheart i'm 17 incase you haven't noticed allowed to be little if i want to ... as for robert i've sent him to hell before and he came back swearing that he cares about me so0o0o much and told me never to let anyone convince me that he doesn't care that i'm the girl he's going to when he wants to settle down ... sound familiar yeah its his game get used to it get over it =) CarO
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Tuesday, October 11, 2005
late night insomnia
Current mood: complacent
Category: Life
girls are bitches nosey slutty whiney catty bitches ...
guys are assholes until they come running back as they all do ...
what goes around comes around its called karma the more bad things you do ... the more bad things come back to you.
you create loops and everything goes around in circles you do good you get good, and i'm not talking about giving a dollar to the homeless voice guy on 107 & kendall every morning (though it could put you up a point or two) i mean being a friend sticking by someone's side when things get tough then when things seem all uphill for you that person will be there to lighten the load ... when you're about to say something bad about someone and you know when it gets back to them they'll never let it go and so you hold your tongue no matter how badly you want to say it later on you never know the person could change and become one of the best people you come across...
i've made my fair share of mistakes, i'm only 17 and i'm still learning, believe me i try to hold my tongue or really my hand but sometimes i can't resiset temptation othertimes its carelessness things slip ... i have no regrets ... don't believe in them... but i do believe in learning from your experiences and you must have downs in order to go up like a good friend of mine says: No Rain, No Rainbows ...
i'm not gunna lie, right now there's a rain storm thundering its way through my world ... but slowly i know it will end as all things have their expiration dates and soon enough i'll have My Sunshine
when Leo died i thought i'd never live to see daylight again that i'd drown in my tears and my blood but one year eight months and 26 days later here i am stronger and with more right in me than ever, sometimes ... lately in particular it feels like i'm playing tug of war and its the whole world vs. me "ya me traigo por la izquierda y de pelea con el mundo"
why i'm not so sure i must have done something wrong slong the way ... or maybe my life is on like one of those scaled i had a great summer ... the summer people dream about and to balance things out ... to keep me in check ... here comes the bad side ... nothing lasts forever not the bad not the good only thing that lasts forever is the balance
in the past 2 months i've been really hurt by a number of people, but i've hurt people too sometimes it was a conscious decision, out of spite or bitter reactions but i can admit to it and apologize if given the chance ... other times it was nothing more than bad luck
sometimes you have to learn that you are not surrendering (or givig in or failing) its acceptance (wisdom to understand that there is no other way) i read that in a book and its the truth you can't fight your way through life but once you start it takes a more courage to accept than it did to begin the fight in the first place
so i accept ... everything ... not so sure what that means exactly but regardless i do, i accept
robert, you really hurt me ... again ... i don't know what i'm going to do you were my escape from everything all i had to do was call and i was in another world another place with you ... i know you told me not to write to your dumb ass girlfriends but they kept erasing everything and all my messages said were that i hoped you felt better and that i missed you
ukw i don't even know what to say other than damnit i need you ... i don't know for what or why but i do you are me and i am you and i realize i have nothing to give nothing to work with i know but whats done is done and i still need you and the funny thing is you'd think i'd be crying over robert, but no i'm crying for you
i'm torn i can't decide whether to say fuck the world or say sorry
too weak to give in too strong to lose ...
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stupid stupid robert & those stupid stupid girls ...
Current mood: aggravated
so ... i'm not quite sure what to think ... Robert claims there's some girls that control his myspace ... and theres this one girl who wrote that she designed it ... just so happens she's friends with sum chik he was or probably is fucking around with ... also just so happens that i posted a comment while he was online and it was erased!! so i posted another and noticed that chick was online too ... so i posted a 3rd she erased it too atleast robert says its her and it makes sense b.c i kno he's at work ... anyway ... then i see he posts a bulletin saying he likes some chick and when he makes love with girls he thinks of her ... haha!! now as mispelled as the bulletin might have been ... what kind of guy does that ?!? plus is he stupid enough to post a bulletin when he knows i'm online all day at work ... c'mon! dude ... thats fine ... so i call him and bitch about it ... i'm not his girlfriend i know that but i don't have to be .... i'm put in first place ornothing at all so i wrote that to him in a text and fuck that i told him not to call me until he thought about it ... which he won't ... he was overly nice on the phone he was like baby you're making me feel like i have a girlfriend and i don't you're trying to rank on me you're acting like my girlfriend ... and OMG i was like ok fine maybe i am but you like to act like my boyfriend don't you?!? ... does he think i'm gonna be his if he's not atleastputting me before any of his other little sluts ... this morning i left his house kissed him and he's like "i'll call you when i get out of work baby" ... sorry if thats not acting like my fucking boyfriend then i don't know what is but damnit i let him talk about other girls i tease him about it ok fine ... i'm not the jealous type i make fun of him telling him to use protection and he swears he doesn't have sex or make love like he says whatever you wanna call it ... but i draw the line when some girl is telling him i love you and they're making plans to chill ... sorry NO! he's told me i love you before and i have yet to say it to him ... sometimes he takes it back telling me he can't say it cause i'll get too attatched ... but i'm not in love with him i love him but its not like that yet i don't feel IN love with him i just love spending time with him i love how he treats me and i know he loves partsof me aswell and its one of those things that the more time we spend together the more we want to be together ... i might have fucked it up by overreacting but now we'll see how much he really cares ... i strongly believe
If you love something let it go, if it comes back its yours.
If it doesn't, it never was ...
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Robert & Carolina ... here we go again ... =)
Current mood: sick
my Fridge omg he was in a motorcycle accident around 3 in the morning sunday night i was driving home from picking my car up at Ronald's by that time with little Caro after space no wonder i couldn't sleep and actually finished my paper ... his bike is totalled he called me monday around 2 in the afternoon to tell me ... i flipped i turned pale i was shaking Nica was on the back of the bike poor Nica he has road rash all over his back and butt Robert was wearing a helmet and his jacket and gloves ... Nica was in his wifebeater and basketball shorts .... no helmet ... FUCK ! ! DON'T THEY LEARN ? ! ? BOYS ... DO THEY NOT REMEMBER I MET ROBERT IN THE HOSPITAL WHERE CARLY DIED ... FROM A MOTORCYCLE ACCIDENT ! ! ! i've never seen robert so calm, so down save the one time he's ever cried at about 4 in the morning while we were praying a huge group of us infront of where Carly died... he was quiet all last night ... tired he barely ate ... he was so sad about his bike ... i was actually surprised he called me i mean he calls me but i mean of all the girls he could have called to be by his side he called me to spend the night with him we fell asleep about ten he knocked out cold but around 12 i woke up feeling sick to my stomach i sat on the floor of his bathroom till about 1 coughing and about to throw up ... i went back to bed when i felt better and his sister got home the stupid dog kept waking me up but i just loved being there with him knowing he needed someone to be with and the fact that he called me means a lot coming from him he's so great i just i'm scared he'll end up hurting me again ... i'm ready and willing to stop eating shyt and settle down a little bit i don't mean like marry ing type deal just you know staying home more often spending more time with him and less time with other people he seems like he has the same thing in mind but then again he did last december too and instead of pulling through he got scared and left i don't know but i do know this he and i love to be together i feel calm and complete by his side i like it and i like him ... =)
i swear i could not go through losing someone close to me again god forbid anything ever happen to jenny sasha ronald caro ale robert or my brother mom dad aunt even oscar ... i think i would die ... maybe not physically but at some point you lose yourself after so much pain ... i've been to that place i know where it is and how to get there ... because about 2 weeks after Leo died ... i was there ... everything is black and the few lights are dim ... you'd rather not be ... nobody knows it people who love you try to pull you out but you refuse the only way to come back is time but ... what if i fall in there again? what if this time i cannot come out ... i know they say the human spirit can surpass any pain but how many times i'd rather myself be hurt than these people ... <3 CarO
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Monday, October 10, 2005
Space ... and you'd just love for me to write a blog about you
Current mood: amused
i kno i kno it was all ages but mii litto CarO wanted to go and BIG CarO would never sell her out ... so Ceci and her little sister Maria joined us we went it was ok we promoted and skipped the line so that was cool cause it went around the block and then some ... it got ghetto so we left and ate pizza @ cazzola's and i stayed up till 6 in the morning finishing my paper ... and then my wonderful mother doesn't wake me up for school .... jenny does but too late damnit i really wanted to go ...!!!! anyway ... we were looking around on myspace theres this big deal about a blog some psycho bitch wrote ... i bet you think this blog is about you, don't you, don't you? ... no! ...
actually i wanted to thank a couple people ... first off and believe it or not emma, yes she did call me psycho ... but i think the same of her and its understandable considering david is the one translating everything, anyway i wanted to thank her for dropping it and for telling b.i.t.c.h. to drop it as well, i also wanted to thank turtle for defending me and telling b.i.t.c.h. to leave everyone (including me) alone, to mii litto CarO ... she's not a whore... i mean she didn't fuck other guys while she was in a 5 year relationship with a MAN who adored her and treated her like a princess did she?, a b.i.t.c.h. like that is what I would call a whore, i don't know about you ... anyway Ronald is another one i must thank i love you darling you are a beautiful person and your heart is too big and too sweet to be treated the way its been you deserve better prettier SMARTER more appreciative people in your life you are still my friend you did not turn your back on me like some others and for that you have my friendship and my trust for ever and ever don't you ever let anyone change you ... sorry, this blog is not about you, you are nothing and these people deserve my attention more than you KiSseS & <33 CarO
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Sunday, October 09, 2005
mypaper
Current mood: busy
Category: School
Carolina Valladares
October 3, 2005
Issues in Lit. & Cult.
MWF 8-850
A Comparison of Women’s Roles in
“The Horse Whisperer” and “A Doll’s House”
Women’s rights and roles have always been issues in society. Here we have a
book (“The Horse Whisperer”) and a play (“A Doll’s House”) which take place in
two very different settings, not only in time but place. Annie the Main
Character in “The Horse Whisperer” and Nora the main character in “A Doll’s
House”, appear to be two very different women when really they have a number of
things in common. Ambition, determination, hard-work ethics, and families to
care for, are just some of the qualities shared by these two dynamic women. In
my comparison of the two writings I will explore the similarities and
differences in these women’s roles in their societies, as well as in their
homes. Also I will compare the decisions they made at the end of each story and
their irony.
Annie is the mother of a single child, at the beginning of the book you may
assume that the main character would be the child, Grace, because she is the
one whom suffers the accident and it is her soul and her horse whom is being
healed, when in fact the main character is really Annie. Grace is one of the
major characters but the book is based more on Annie’s actions and decisions
rather than Grace’s recovery process. Both mother and daughter experience a
journey not the literal road trip but more the journey to find their personal
strength. Originally Annie is the boss at home, though her husband and her both
have high income jobs it is clear that once they discuss a certain issue what
she says goes. For example : “The Friday night crawl of traffic invariably made
her crabby and impatient and she would compensate by taking charge, telling
Robert, Grace’s father, to slow down or speed up or take some devious route to
avoid delays. He never bothered to argue, just did as he was told, though
sometimes he would sigh or give grace, relegated to the backseat, a wry glance
in the mirror.”(p. 4) The author is sure to make it more than clear that Annie’
s personality is a bit obsessive compulsive, and that she is the head of the
house.
Annie is an intelligent independent woman who loves her family, but tends to
feel the need to be occupied with something to feel stable. When she sees the
way her daughter is affected by this traumatic incident, losing a part of her
leg, as well as her best friend, and being taunted in school, Annie decides to
make a trip across the country. This is run through her husband quickly and
though he disagrees she does so regardless. When Grace and Annie reach their
destination and begin to work with Pilgrim, Annie begins to see things in a
different light she slowly but not unconsciously lets her work back home slip
away. Also she lets herself begin to have feelings for this man, Tom Booker,
the horse whisperer; though she knows she has a loving husband at home. Though
seemingly rash and at times morally incorrect, Annie’s decision to take Grace
far away from home when she is emotionally instable and scared, were with good
intentions for her daughter. Because Annie lived closer to today’s society they
were not seen as crimes disobeying the male figure, but merely acts cultivated
by the natural human desire to be happy, and the rights women have now come to
hold; in this case she is naturally accustomed to controlling situations, this
may have sparked the fire between Tom and Annie. In the beginning Evans shows
how her husband bends to her every demand, Tom on the other hand stands his
ground when he knows he’s got a point. For example, while bringing down Pilgrim
on his side Annie questions Tom, and his reaction is:
“You’re wrong. It’s not cruel. He had the choice”
“What are you talking about?”
… “he had the choice to go on fighting life or accept it” (p. 416)
Nora is what we would call a stay at home mother of many children. At first
she seems to rely solely on her husband’s income and be a frivolous spender as
well as an airhead. Her husband, Torvald, nick names her his “expensive pet”
(p. ) Later, we come to realize that this money she appears to be wasting has
not been wasted whatsoever. On the contrary she has been saving it, has been
working on the side, and has been thrifty in her spending as well. She has had
to manage a household the way her husband expects while saving every penny
possible.
This is because some time ago she illegally borrowed money by forging her late
father’s signature, and lied to her husband about it , so that she could take
him to Italy to cure him of a mortal illness he had been struck with. At the
time when Nora’s story takes place a woman borrowing money was a serious crime
and apparently punishable by law. Nora had been steadily paying back every cent
she could. This act of love and this sacrifice she had been making for so many
years without asking for gratitude shows she was a strong woman, someone of
good character and heart.
At the end of “The Horse Whisperer” Annie does not stay in the ranch where she
knows she’d have a chance to be happier, this is not what you’d expect. It is
true that Tom basically commits suicide to help her make her decision, but it
is implied that regardless of whether he had lived or not, she would have
returned to her family.
“Annie? do you understand? It’s real, real important you understand this.
Sometimes what seems like surrender isn’t surrender at all. It’s about what’s
going on in our hearts. About seeing clearly the way life is and accepting it,
and being true to it, whatever the pain, because the pain of not being true to
it is far, far greater. Annie I know you understand this” (p.417)
When Tom spoke these words to Annie she knew they were like a double sided
coin; he was literally talking about Pilgrim but implying that she too must
learn that lesson in order to have the strength to leave his side. This whole
ordeal had done a great deal of damage to her already iffy marriage, but more
than owing her return to her husband because of all the years he had lived with
the fact that she has never been completely his. She more so owed it to herself
and to Grace to finish repairing her relationship with her daughter. In my
opinion some situations are simply windows to show you the depth and power of
love without necessarily being doors to walk through. Her decision to go home
was ironic in the sense that being the independent powerful woman she was, she
chose the path back home instead of the one that led to complete freedom.
At the end of “A Doll’s House” Nora leaves her husband, Torvald. This is an
unexpected move on her part because now, when the truth is finally out and he
has decided not to leave her after all, it appears that everything will be
settled and they can now live happily ever after. Nora though, does not want to
rejoin him in their marriage. This is because even though she did commit a
crime, he was set on leaving her side for it, regardless of the fact that she
had broken the law for his life’s sake.
This recognition of sacrifice is where Annie and Nora differ. In “The Horse
Whisperer” all through the book there’s a little game played with a thin rope
that Annie as hard as she tries cannot pull off, when finally she accomplishes
this riddle she and tom are speaking to each other and as he watches her finish
this is said:
“He sat back in his chair and gave her a smile which was both loving and sad.
‘There you are,’ he said. ‘Now you know’
‘Do I get to keep the cord?’
‘You don’t need it anymore.’ And he took it and put it in his pocket” (p. 406)
Annie never realizes that Tom is giving up his happiness for her own good while
on the other hand it is Torvald this time that does not appreciate Nora’s
selfless attempt to help him et better.
This is when Nora realizes that his teasing and playful toy-like treating her
is not playful at all. Nora now sees that he never has seen her as a smart
hardworking woman but nothing more than his pet, his “doll”. She leaves him
with only the explanation that she has to find herself and figure out
everything that surrounds her. As is very obvious Nora lived in a time with
limited women’s rights and her roles’ were restricted to her home and her
children. Deciding to leave her husband is a brave and courageous statement on
her part.
Both Nora and Annie coming from completely different lifestyles and morals made
decisions that were far more difficult than they seemed. Nora’s decision to
leave her husband was totally understandable, but now when everything was out
in the open and she could finally live in peace she chose to free herself from
the dollhouse she lived in this gave her respect from the reader’s point of
view. Annie was madly in love with Tom, and it must have been one of the most
difficult decisions she ever had to make to leave his side for her family when
she had all the freedom and no one to stop her from it. If Annie had lived back
when Nora lived she would not have had the choice to stay or go, she might have
been forced to go back but she never took advantage of the fact that in this
story she did have a choice.
Annie returned home because she knew it would be best for her daughter and her
husband and eventually time would heal her wound. Another person with not so
much moral value might have stayed there even if Tom had died to sulk and
grieve for his memory. Sulking takes much energy and anyone is susceptible to
it, particularly left with wonderful memories such as these:
“’What are you looking at?’ she said gently.
He shrugged, ‘You. Does it bother you?’
‘I like it makes me feel I know what I’m doing’
‘You cook fine’
‘I can’t cook to save my life’
“’That’s ok, you can cook to save mine’”(p. 403)
Annie had no other choice to fall head over feet as any woman in her position
would have done, and so in conclusion; In my opinion it took just as much
courage for Annie to go back home as it did for Nora to leave her home. These two women did what they had to do their way and ironically in neither book did it end the way we expected.
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saturday night ... <3
Current mood: bored
well yesterday (saturday) i woke up at stevens with nick e poo and obviously jenny n steven we started watching movies and left to jenny's i got my toes done, took a nap babysitted the twins victoria and sofia ... and left home ... i got here and mi amor called me ( *Robert* ) and he told me to go over i stopped to get some food and hung out at his place for a while he lives there with his sister and they remodeled everything its a small studio but they got 2 new futons and a huge screen tv a new rug it looks really nice plus now when i sleep over his sister doesn't have to sleep on the floor ... anyway ... he was going out and i passed by to see my ex my first real thing Albert he called me so i went over to say hi and then went to Momo's there was alittle getty there but i was bored and went home the minute i got home i got a fone call from little peter so i went over his house it was like one peter shorty and i went to the jacuzzi and fell asleep watching movies we were supposed to go jet skiing today but one of his horses at the farm got hurt and he had to go help so i woke jenny and steven up took breakfast for them and we fell in and out of sleep until we were bored brainless jenny stayed but i came home to finish up my essay turns out i have to pick 10 quotes from those books to add into my essay thats due tomorrow ... so herte i got and thats my update ... <3 CarO
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Saturday, October 08, 2005
last night ... woo hoo!
Current mood: cheerful
lmao Jenny Steven Nick and I went to Metropolis. Ale and Kevin met us there, as well as Franci and Ceci and Alex Jenny introduced me to the head of security and Mandy the owner ... so i got Cec and them in for free at like 1230 no line no nothing hee hee =)... we saw Devon he's expecting me to go see him in Tally in about 2 weeks lol hmmm... sounds very very complicated we also saw San Juan and Frankie ... i kissed Devon ... "after four shots of tequila" lmao yup ... Ale wanted to kill me b.c she had kissed him once but he was trying to kiss me the whole night and he kept telling me how in Tallahassee he had told Franci to hook him up with me but she told him that Ale was the one who liked him ... and i ended up kissing him ... then Ale asked me and ofcourse i would never lie to her so i told her the truth ... she flipped and kevin wasn't too thrilled about it ... and Devon kept telling me "but she's with her boyfriend!! ... and he's a friend of mine from highschool" and she was in the other ear telling me someother shyt and i raised my hand and anounced "ok i'm officially in an awkward position!!" lol i took him to the bathroom cause he had been trying to pee the whole night when we ran into Ceci and she was crying b.c the asshole take a wild guess told her they couldn't be together unless she moved down from Gainseville ... she was a little bit drunk and she got emotional and i totally understood her b.c david had me like that too at somepoint i actually believed all the things he told me Cec still does apparently and i don't blame her i held her and talked to her for a while until we found Franci and they got her some tequila ... Ale and Kevin wanted to leave so they went outside i stayed to talk to Devon for like 5 minutes ... and then Cec was calling me cause she was leaving ... so i went on a mission to look for her ... but she was already outside so Devon walked me to the door and i left ... Kevin took Ale home and then took me to Stevens i slept there with Jenny and Nick ... hes such a cutie pie =) ... he asked to kiss me the next morning ... i didn't cause you know i'm a good girl ... and he seems sweet he's so funny ... and Robert boy i really he's got me man but i'm not stupid and i know i'm not the only girl he has me but not heaven knows not blindfolded ... we have to give him time ... thats on the backburner lol =) mommii's joke!
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Friday, October 07, 2005
...
Current mood: crappy
Category: Blogging
even tho i wanna c
how u put that thing on me
i can't let you
get the
best of me
have an affair act like an adult for once...
isn't it ironic ... don't you think?
so i got that dreaded period and its been so long since i had sex it hurts to put tampons on ... yes caro minus sex plus period subtract partying add cramps and kissing robert goodbye so he could go chill with girls last night and you'd think i'd be in a bad mood ... really just a little touchy but i was inside roberts house his sister won't allow any hoes in his house lol ... only 2 of the 3 girls were allowed in and i was there chilling with jessi i really like her believe it or not ... and also i haven't wanted to go clubbing lately but remarkably i'm excited about 2nite ceci and i are going with jennii steven and nick to metropolis my id says i'm only 20 but jennii knows mandy personally so if we get there on time no heat ... my last time getting all dressed up for a while ... afterwards i wanna see mii baiibee ... i miss hiimmm my fridgerator
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Thursday, October 06, 2005
boredom...
Current mood: blah
Category: Quiz/Survey
1. When you look at yourself in the mirror, what's the first thing you look at? my overall appearance
2. How much cash do you have on you? $138
3. What's a word that rhymes with "TEST": chest
4. Favorite planet? saturn
5. Who is the 4th person on your missed call list on your cell phone? robert
6. What is your main ring tone on your phone? milkshake (kelis)
7. What shirt are you wearing? a hotazfuk tank and matching boyshorts w. cutoffs
8. Do you "label" yourself? yes, very preppy ... elegant when required
9. Name the brand of your shoes you're currently wearing? puma
1o. Bright or Dark Room? dark
11. What do you think of the person who posted this before you? hmm... dunno
12. Ever "spilled the beans?" too often i have no secrets of my own
13. What were you doing at midnight last night? in bed aching from all that cheerleading practice
14. What did your last text message you received on your cell phone say? "you have 1 new voice mail"
15. Do you click on "Pop Ups" or Banners? nope
16. What's a saying that you say a lot? i refer to myself in the third person i say kill urself and what the fuck!
17. Who told you they loved you last? robert lol he totally slipped though
18. Last furry thing you touched? my dog
19. How Many Drugs Have You Done In The Past Three Days? me? drugs? no thnx i just need my boytoy
2o. How many rolls of film do you need to get developed? none i develop one about every 2 weeks
21. Favorite age you have been so far? 17
22. Your worst enemy? girlfriends of former guy friends
23 What is your current desktop picture? me n leo my late b.f ... rest in peace
24. What was the last thing you said to someone? you slip a lot on bars too!
25. If you had to choose between a million bucks or to be able to change a major regret? a million dollars duh ... learn from your mistakes then go shopping and make yourself feel all better
26. Do you love/ like someone? maybe ... well yes infact i do
x your confessions...
[ ] I am bisexual
[ ] I am homosexual
[ ] I collect comic books.
[] I shut others out when I'm sad
[x] I open up to others easily
[] I am keeping a secret from the world
[] I read the news
[] I own over 5 rap CDs
[x] I own something from Hot Topic
[x]I like Disney movies
[] I am a sucker for eyes
[x] I curse regularly.
[] I've slipped out a "lol" in a real conversation.
[x] I own something from Abercrombie
[X] I have a job
[ ] I love Martha Stewart.
[x] I am in love/like with someone.
[x] I am self conscious
[x] I like to laugh.
[ ] I smoke a pack a day.
[] I have cough drops when I'm not sick.
[x] I have many scars
[x ] I've been out of this country
[x] I am really ticklish.
[ x] I love chocolate.
[x] I am comfortable with being me.
[] I play computer video games when I'm bored
[x] Gotten lost in the city
[x] Saw a star
[] I had a serious Surgery.
[x ]I have kissed a stranger.
[] Hugged a stranger.
[x] Been in a fist fight
[] Been arrested.
[ ] Laughed and had milk/soda come out of your nose.
[x] Pushed all the buttons on an elevator
[] Made out in an elevator.
[x] Swore at your parents.
[x] Kicked a guy where it hurts.
[ ] Been skydiving.
[ ] Been bungee jumping.
[] Broken a bone.
[x] Played spin the bottle.
[x] Gotten the chicken pox.
[] Ridden in a taxi.
[x] Shoplifted.
[] Been fired.
[x] had feelings for someone who didn't have them back.
[] Stole something from your job.
[ ] Had a crush on a teacher/coach.
[x] Saw someone/something dying.
[ x] Ridden over 400 miles in one day.
[x] Been on a plane.
[ ] Seen the Rocky Horror Picture Show.
[ ] Thrown up in a bar.
[x] Eaten Sushi.
[] Met someone in person from the internet.
[ ] been to a motocross show.
[x] Done hard liquor
[x] Taken painkillers.
[] Cheated on someone else
(x) smoked a cigarette
() smoked a cigar
(x) made out with a member of the same sex
( ) crashed a friend's car
( ) stolen a car
(x) been in love
(x) been dumped
(x) shoplifted
() been fired
(x) been in a fist fight
() snuck out of my parent's house
(x) had feelings for someone who didnt have them back
() been arrested
(x) made out with a stranger
( ) gone on a blind date
(x) lied to a friend
() had a crush on a teacher
(x) skipped school
( ) seen someone die
(x) had a crush on one of your myspace friends
() been to Canada
( ) been to Mexico
(x) been on a plane
( ) thrown up in a bar
() purposely set a part of myself on fire
(x) eaten Sushi
( ) been snowboarding
()met someone in person from myspace
( ) been in an abusive relationship
(x) taken painkillers
(x) love someone or miss someone right now
(x) laid on your back and watched cloud shapes go by
( ) made a snow angel
(x ) had a tea party
(x) flown a kite
(x) built a sand castle
() gone puddle jumping
(x) played dress up
(x) jumped into a pile of leaves
( ) gone sledding
(x) cheated while playing a game
(x) been lonely
(x) fallen asleep at work/school
(x) used a fake id
(x) watched the sun set
( ) felt an earthquake
(x) touched a snake
(x) slept beneath the stars
(x) been tickled
(x) been robbed
(x) been misunderstood
( ) pet a reindeer/goat..
() won a contest
(x) run a red light
() been suspended from school
()been in a car accident
() had braces
() felt like an outcast
(x) eaten a whole pint of ice cream in one night
(x) had deja vu
( ) danced in the moonlight
(x) hated the way you look
(x) witnessed a crime
( ) pole danced
(x) questioned your heart
(x) been obsessed with post-it notes
( x) squished barefoot through the mud
(x) been lost
( ) been to the opposite side of the country
(x) swam in the ocean
(x) felt like dying
(x) cried yourself to sleep
(x) recently colored with crayons/colored pencils/markers
( ) sung karaoke
(x) paid for a meal with only coins
(x) done something you told yourself you wouldn't
(x) made prank phone calls
( ) caught a snowflake on your tongue
(x) danced in the rain
(x) written a letter to Santa Claus
( ) been kissed under a mistletoe
(x) watched the sun set with someone you care about .. ok the sunrise..? same shit.
(x) blown bubbles
( ) made a bonfire on the beach
() crashed a party
(x) gone rollerskating
(x) had a wish come true
( ) humped a monkey
(x) worn pearls
() screamed penis in class
() ate dog/cat food
(x) told a complete stranger you loved them
(x) kissed a mirror
(x) sang in the shower
(x) had a dream that you married someone
(x) glued your hand to something
( ) got your tongue stuck to a flag pole
( ) kissed a fish
(x) been a cheerleader
(x) sat on a roof top
(x) screamed at the top of your lungs
() done a one-handed cartwheel
(x) talked on the phone for more than 6 hours
(x) stayed up all night
( ) didn't take a shower for a week
( ) pick and ate an apple right off the tree
(x) climbed a tree
(x) had a tree house
(x) are scared to watch scary movies alone
(x) believe in ghosts
( ) have more then 30 pairs of shoes
() worn a really ugly outfit to school just to see what others say
() gone streaking
(x) played ding-dong-ditch (Nigger knocking)
(x) played chicken
(x) been pushed into a pool with all your clothes on
(x) been told you're hot by a complete stranger
() broken a bone
(x) been easily amused
(x ) caught a fish then ate it
( ) made porn
(x) caught a butterfly
(x) laughed so hard you cried
(x) cried so hard you laughed
(x) mooned/flashed someone
(x) had someone moon/flash you
(x) cheated on a test
() made out in the rain
(x) had a Brittany Spears CD
(x) forgotten someone's name
(x) slept naked
(x ) French braided someones hair
() gone skinny dipping in a pool
() been kicked out of your house
() Undressed infront of someone you didnt know
() Watch a couple have sex
11:19 PM - 0 Comments - 0 Kudos - Add Comment - Edit - Remove
mii babiiee
Current mood: ecstatic
Category: Love and Relationships
i stayed home today ... yes on a thursday ... well not necessarily home i went to see mii hunniibunn ... "my fridge" i mean lol ... shh!... don't tell but i think i'm... well i think i'm ... in love with him ... yeah i know i used the "L" word but i'm so happii when i'm with him ... its like there are parenthesis in my life during the time i'm with him i try to breath but he steals my breath every time ... I know you think i'm crazy for letting myself get like this but if you could only see the people we become when we're together i just wish i could be with him all the time i'd never get bored i swear that between our kisses and our playfights and our sillylittle jokes and his stupid cock eyedness when he's tired the way he thinks he could beat my ass (he really could though hello he's a fridgerator) but when i pinch him he yells like a little girl hes so funny the way he calls his bike his baby (dear god please take care of him if anything ever happened to him well i don't wanna go through that again ) ... hes so bad but his heart is so deep he's like a little boy swimming in a big lake he's just trying to see how far down he can got before picks a spot to lay back and relax ... he talks to other girls i know he does i make him tell me but he doesn't look at them the way he looks at me ... and i'm sprung for sure i don't feel like going out anymore i'd rather just be with him i don't know if he's my escape from the rest of the world or if the rest of the world has left me behind to find my way back to him ... he's scared of the real deep end he slips at times tells me he loves me i've never said it back ... i don't think i will i think that i will be his ground that place he's been looking for has been right behind him all the way ... i sound dumb but love is blind and maybe its time to go swimming
10:31 PM - 0 Comments - 0 Kudos - Add Comment - Edit - Remove
Thursday, October 06, 2005
fuck the girlfriends ... btw all blogs will b viewed by friends only
look anna honey and emma leave me alone stop stalking me to find shit out about your boyfriends writing is the way i vent ... i have absolutely no secrets i'm not good at lying and i'm tired of this garbage ... honey get over it ronald and i are not have never and won't ever fuck around we are friends contrary to popular belief it IS possible for a guy and a girl to be nothing more than friends now you went and fucked it up by getting mad at him for something i wrote thats friend number one i lost ... annna i barely know you ... not that mau is that great of a friend but none the less hewas my friend and we got along well ... now i lost him too because you went searching through my shit ... never in any of my blogs has it said he cheated on you so get over yourself ... he was talking shit about me before you broke up with him and i told him then i wanted nothing more to do with him but now i'm not allowed over Ale's house thanks to you i hope carmen realizes what an idiot she is for thinking ALe's other friends are a better influence than i am i'm the one who's always begging her not to lie telling her not to smoke weed but fine they can all fuck off including you ... and to the other girlfriend just fuck offf ....
i have an anouncement to make ... only people on my friends list will be able to read my blogs anyone that i don't personally know will be deleted sorry ... can't trust anyone now can i?
10:45 AM - 0 Comments - 0 Kudos - Add Comment - Edit - Remove
Tuesday, October 04, 2005
letter 2 litto caro
hii hunnii ... well ... ronald isn't answering my phone calls again so i'm going over there later to pick up my dress ... i still haven't worn the green tanktop but i promise to give it back with the belt i washed your black shirt so i'll take it to you ... i'm sorry all of this had to happen ... even Ale wrote something about me ... sasha sent it to me its on my blogs as you probably know anna broke up with mau b.c of what i wrote on my blogs well mau shouldn't have spent the entire day talking shit to jenny about me ... they work together now and he should know she's going to come and tell me every word he speaks so he pissed me off and i called him told him i didn't wanna be his friend anymore either and i wrote about it in my blogs i also wrote that i wasn't going to cover for anyone anymore david or mau are not my friends all they've brought me is problems and if i'm going to have their girlfriends up my ass trying to find shit out i'll fuckin tell them everything to get them off my case i have no reason to deal with the drama i have no right to cover up for them ... i'm not allowed at Ale's house anymore but i don't like going there anyway her mom is always bugging me about it ... and well its just a lot of crap i'm disappointed Ale didnt stand up for me but i know its her brother just like i know your brother probably asked you the same thing so i guess i'm writing to tell you i love you and to please tell ronald i love him that i'm going to miss you guys but i refuse to let everyoneflip shit on me ... emma looked for problems with me at the club ... how the fuq am i supposed to know anna has a myspace or knows what mine is? ... and its MY BLOG i can write whatever i want and if david mau or anyone doesn't like it then maybe they should talk to me like normal people or they should learn not to talk shit and maybe i wouldn't get so pissed that i have to write about it to vent ... i lost my cell phone but i love you and i'll kit and don't worry when i get a new car you can still keep mine for a whole 50 $$ lol kisSes - CarO
7:09 PM - 1 Comments - 2 Kudos - Add Comment - Edit - Remove