running as fast as you can.
I bought a pair of pink plastic dumbbells where you can fill it up with water to have it as weights. I think an alternative use for them are as water bottles.
Ehsan will be away for another 2 weeks or so… sadness. They should have the ASEAN meeting elsewhere.
I feel like eating pizza and sushi…
I was about to blog on how our parents are simply our parents and it is hard for them to come into the “parents as friends” stage. Even the conversations we have with our parents are not the same with that we have with our friends.
I wanted to rant on how lonely and misunderstood we feel sometimes, of each other. In a Korean show, a character once expressed that a parent’s love for their children is one-way… which I find to be true and at the same time unfair. Some parents yearn for their children to visit and call them often but since their children are so busy and some living in far away places, it is kind of hard to do that.
I suppose we young people might one day become like them.
So I hope, no matter how irritating we may think our parents may be, we should always take time to talk about stuff with them (even if it’s the same old stuff that may bore you to death, over and over)… even the most mundane conversations might become an important daily aspect of your life. They may not be of deep stuff but once they are missing in your life, you will feel a great emptiness.
I was reading through random blogs and a friend commented that relationships are about commitment and sacrifices.
True, you may fear this sudden dependency on just that one person but at the same time that dependency reassures you, that he will always be there when you need him. This dependency takes you away from being your own self sufficient self - you think you need no one you see, you never really did for the past years.
But then you should realize that he has become dependent on you also - not the material and physical sort of dependency but of the emotional one. So whatever decisions you make will not impact on only yourself but also him. There is no longer the option to be selfish and think about yourself; it is too cruel.
Your mum did not throw you out of the window when you were young and throwing a tantrum, did she?
Sometimes when Ehsan is away, and I have not met him for quite a long while… walking back home alone, sometimes I feel extremely lonely… you know the sort of feeling that even when a lot of people surrounds you, you still feel lonely… you just want that one particular person to be there and the rest does not matter.
I no longer fear of losing my identity… my identity will always be there, he simply help me discover other aspects of myself that I never knew of. Is there ever a true identity? I do not think so. Everyday, we role play as certain characters to suit the situation… we are not that righteous, we are hypocrites most of the time.
I chose to be with him, no one forced me to. I made that decision and will stick to it. There will be uncertainties and fears…….. a quote from another Korean show:
“To trust someone completely takes a lot of courage.”
Do I have such a courage that? It is not easy.
I suppose that applies to love also. You may feel you’re losing some things but actually you are evolving to become someone else. You cannot simply be the same throughout right? You have to adapt and deal with changes.
However, if the changes are hurting you and making you unhappy, only then you should take the decision to do something to stop that.
For now, I just fear of losing him… freak accidents do happen, infidelity do happen, misunderstandings do happen……
Why put ourselves in such a predicament then?
Love is irrational. It forces you to run with it.