(no subject)
The show last night went well... I conned Jenny into coming with me and we had a pretty good time! I had a rather odd and unpleasent interation with the band's singer's ex-girlfriend.. but all things considered it probably brought Zach and I closer than it did cause any drama. It's nice to feel like you've got someone who you can share the craziness of life with and know that they are going to back you up and support you.
Last weeks midterms didn't go as well as I would have liked... I have been a little distracted from school and from studying lately and it definitely showed in my midterms. It prompted a mini personal freak-out about whether I'm doing the right thing in going to grad school... a part of me wonders how commited I really am if I can't even focus enough to do well on a test (which is something I've always been good at). I also wonder (altough not really to Zach..) if meeting him has changed my focus a bit. As much as he is supportive of my school and work (in fact so much that he keeps threatening to come to a Board meeting just to see what I'm up too!) but I think that to me meeting him has somewhat shifted my focus away from school and work, and more towards my person relationships. He means so much to me already, and I know that he is on the same page with that, and it sometimes makes it difficult to focus on school work espeically. Work isn't so bad because I really do love what I'm doing, I just sometimes have a difficult time connecting the things I'm doing at school with my internship. As many of my classmates have also articulated, if we chould just work, we'd all be much happier. I think the hardest thing for me right now is trying to balance all of the things in my life and maintain my personal happiness and sanity. Between school, work, Zach, my friends here, my friends at home, my family, and myself... it is a lot of people to satisfy and make happy..I've always been pretty good at multi-tasking... but I think this has been taking it to a new level.
I went to the doctor here last week, and it turns out that I need to have a mole removed. I got in the car and started bawling... I don't think it was entirely the mole removal that I was worried about, but I think it was definitely the straw that broke the camels back that day... I was definitely not prepared to deal with even the possibility that I chould have something SERIOUSLY wrong with me... and the idea of having a mole removed was exactly that. It made me realize how far away from most of the people I love I really am... and the moment I thought of asking Zach to come with me... I got scared that I'm getting close to him to replace the people I can't be close to. I don't really think that is the case... because I haven't felt as close as I do to him with anyone else I met here, and you would think if that was the entire situation that would be the case....and my heart tells me that the way I feel about him is entirely real... at the very least it is lightyears more real than any person I have ever dated before... he supports me in a way unlike anyone I have ever met before... from text messaging me good luck messages before I had to speak at my first big board meeting to listening to me talk about work and school and just telling me he believes in me... I know he's in my corner and that he trusts my instincts and my abilities.. and that is just simply amazing.
Chicago is all wrapped up in White Socks craziness! I think if I were going to pick a Chicago team my heart goes out to the Cubbies... but I think I could still safely say I'm a soxes fan... at least for this season :)
Max is going to get declawed this Thrusday! I know it is a little inhumane, but he scratches me sometimes on accident, and worse yet... he took the claws to a Coach purse last week. That was the final straw. You don't hurt Coach in this house and get away with it! Damn cat... getting him declawed costs as much as a really nice Coach bag too!! Actually the money was to be put towards the purchase of a digital camera.. but that will be delayed now...
Last weeks midterms didn't go as well as I would have liked... I have been a little distracted from school and from studying lately and it definitely showed in my midterms. It prompted a mini personal freak-out about whether I'm doing the right thing in going to grad school... a part of me wonders how commited I really am if I can't even focus enough to do well on a test (which is something I've always been good at). I also wonder (altough not really to Zach..) if meeting him has changed my focus a bit. As much as he is supportive of my school and work (in fact so much that he keeps threatening to come to a Board meeting just to see what I'm up too!) but I think that to me meeting him has somewhat shifted my focus away from school and work, and more towards my person relationships. He means so much to me already, and I know that he is on the same page with that, and it sometimes makes it difficult to focus on school work espeically. Work isn't so bad because I really do love what I'm doing, I just sometimes have a difficult time connecting the things I'm doing at school with my internship. As many of my classmates have also articulated, if we chould just work, we'd all be much happier. I think the hardest thing for me right now is trying to balance all of the things in my life and maintain my personal happiness and sanity. Between school, work, Zach, my friends here, my friends at home, my family, and myself... it is a lot of people to satisfy and make happy..I've always been pretty good at multi-tasking... but I think this has been taking it to a new level.
I went to the doctor here last week, and it turns out that I need to have a mole removed. I got in the car and started bawling... I don't think it was entirely the mole removal that I was worried about, but I think it was definitely the straw that broke the camels back that day... I was definitely not prepared to deal with even the possibility that I chould have something SERIOUSLY wrong with me... and the idea of having a mole removed was exactly that. It made me realize how far away from most of the people I love I really am... and the moment I thought of asking Zach to come with me... I got scared that I'm getting close to him to replace the people I can't be close to. I don't really think that is the case... because I haven't felt as close as I do to him with anyone else I met here, and you would think if that was the entire situation that would be the case....and my heart tells me that the way I feel about him is entirely real... at the very least it is lightyears more real than any person I have ever dated before... he supports me in a way unlike anyone I have ever met before... from text messaging me good luck messages before I had to speak at my first big board meeting to listening to me talk about work and school and just telling me he believes in me... I know he's in my corner and that he trusts my instincts and my abilities.. and that is just simply amazing.
Chicago is all wrapped up in White Socks craziness! I think if I were going to pick a Chicago team my heart goes out to the Cubbies... but I think I could still safely say I'm a soxes fan... at least for this season :)
Max is going to get declawed this Thrusday! I know it is a little inhumane, but he scratches me sometimes on accident, and worse yet... he took the claws to a Coach purse last week. That was the final straw. You don't hurt Coach in this house and get away with it! Damn cat... getting him declawed costs as much as a really nice Coach bag too!! Actually the money was to be put towards the purchase of a digital camera.. but that will be delayed now...