Happy Thoughts.... :)
-- I was driving in from Delafield and watched an amazing rain cloud coming in... it was soooo beautiful.. and even though rain is sort of depressing most of the time.. for once it didn't make me feel down.. it reminded me just how beatiful nature really is... and it all just happens (I'd say naturally but well.. isn't that obvious.. it's nature silly!) It made me realize how much of the beauty in the world I walk by and never notice.. partly because I am so "in my head" all the time.. thinking about me and my not really all that big "problems". In reality.. nothing I am dealing with is that bad.. or even that big by big picture standards... and maybe if I just stopped a second and just relaxed and let things happen for once.. it would all be cool and even if it isn't.. I'll be calmer cuz i'll be looking at pretty things ;)
-- The above was also somewhat prompted by a book I'm reading (or I should say, have been reading for some time...) that Travis lent me.. "Pilgrim at Tinker Creek" by Annie Dillard.. it's really good.. very nature centered.. which is nice. It strangely reminds me of Jay.. a friend from way back in DC... and makes me miss his manly woodsy ness.... that doesn't probably make sense to anyone but me... but if you'd seen Jay the best way to describe him is half english teacher half woodsman.
-- The best thing about moving to Illinois is going to be being able to drive out into boondock Illinois when I get bored or stressed.. I find farms and small towns strangely comforting... and thats good for me.. I'm going to likely be driving through them A LOT
-- I have a secret to tell... I don't want to date through the personals... but I find them too funny to take my ads down! Is that mean? I don't think so... But it also serves a totally more selfish purpose.. it's a good way for me to feel attractive without actually haveing to talk to anyone. I know that probably sounds horrible.. but who doesn't want to feel attractive?! It's sorta like have random people hit on you at bars.. only i don't have to every say a word! Espeically after things with Josh ended (and honestly, while I was with Josh for a while there) I wasn't really feeling so good about myself.. which is a new and not so pleasent feeling for me. Josh made me feel bad about almost everything I did lookswise.. he didn't like the clothes I wore (my skirts where too long, my jeans weren't tight enough, and my shirts didn't show nearly enough clevage for his tastes), he didn't like my kick ass platapus shoes, he HATED my cute boyshorts underware and he rarely ever complemented me on my looks.. to be honest I don't know what made him want to date me at all.. but whatever. I made me uber-selfconsious about my looks which is sad cuz I used to be pretty happy with myself.. and I'm getting back there.. but strangely, the personals are sorta helping with that.. because it gives me hope that good men are out there.. and they are going to find ME attractive for ME... which is very important.. and even if I don't date them.. they serve a useful boost to my ego, and even more often, a good laugh.
-- Ashlee Simpson's song "Surrender" perfectly captures how I feel about a whole variety of men right now.. and all in one song... impressive Ashlee impressive.. and I'm not just saying that because we share a kick butt name.
-- You know, I know it sounds supremely dorky (but don't I usually?!) but I bought Ashlee's CD almost a year ago.. and I still love it.. it is still consistantly in my "on deck" CD pile.. and it isn't so scratched that I can't listen to it (which means it spends more time in the player and less in the pile!) For me, that CD has a song for my every mood.. from happy to sad to in-love to very out of love.. it has it all... and in just 12 tracks. I might be simple minded.. but damn it.. I love that CD.. and I don't care who knows it!!!
-- P.S. note.. in a true confessions.. Britney Spears and Christina Agulara's newest also fall into that category.. and I'm not ashamed to say that.. at least not so ashamed I won't admitt it to the dorky people who are still reading this entry....
-- Even funnier than my bad music tastes.. I bet some of you will, or already have, looked up the words to "Surrender".. silly silly dedicated livejournal readers :)
-- I have no other witty or amusing banter for you today.. so thank you all and good night!
-- The above was also somewhat prompted by a book I'm reading (or I should say, have been reading for some time...) that Travis lent me.. "Pilgrim at Tinker Creek" by Annie Dillard.. it's really good.. very nature centered.. which is nice. It strangely reminds me of Jay.. a friend from way back in DC... and makes me miss his manly woodsy ness.... that doesn't probably make sense to anyone but me... but if you'd seen Jay the best way to describe him is half english teacher half woodsman.
-- The best thing about moving to Illinois is going to be being able to drive out into boondock Illinois when I get bored or stressed.. I find farms and small towns strangely comforting... and thats good for me.. I'm going to likely be driving through them A LOT
-- I have a secret to tell... I don't want to date through the personals... but I find them too funny to take my ads down! Is that mean? I don't think so... But it also serves a totally more selfish purpose.. it's a good way for me to feel attractive without actually haveing to talk to anyone. I know that probably sounds horrible.. but who doesn't want to feel attractive?! It's sorta like have random people hit on you at bars.. only i don't have to every say a word! Espeically after things with Josh ended (and honestly, while I was with Josh for a while there) I wasn't really feeling so good about myself.. which is a new and not so pleasent feeling for me. Josh made me feel bad about almost everything I did lookswise.. he didn't like the clothes I wore (my skirts where too long, my jeans weren't tight enough, and my shirts didn't show nearly enough clevage for his tastes), he didn't like my kick ass platapus shoes, he HATED my cute boyshorts underware and he rarely ever complemented me on my looks.. to be honest I don't know what made him want to date me at all.. but whatever. I made me uber-selfconsious about my looks which is sad cuz I used to be pretty happy with myself.. and I'm getting back there.. but strangely, the personals are sorta helping with that.. because it gives me hope that good men are out there.. and they are going to find ME attractive for ME... which is very important.. and even if I don't date them.. they serve a useful boost to my ego, and even more often, a good laugh.
-- Ashlee Simpson's song "Surrender" perfectly captures how I feel about a whole variety of men right now.. and all in one song... impressive Ashlee impressive.. and I'm not just saying that because we share a kick butt name.
-- You know, I know it sounds supremely dorky (but don't I usually?!) but I bought Ashlee's CD almost a year ago.. and I still love it.. it is still consistantly in my "on deck" CD pile.. and it isn't so scratched that I can't listen to it (which means it spends more time in the player and less in the pile!) For me, that CD has a song for my every mood.. from happy to sad to in-love to very out of love.. it has it all... and in just 12 tracks. I might be simple minded.. but damn it.. I love that CD.. and I don't care who knows it!!!
-- P.S. note.. in a true confessions.. Britney Spears and Christina Agulara's newest also fall into that category.. and I'm not ashamed to say that.. at least not so ashamed I won't admitt it to the dorky people who are still reading this entry....
-- Even funnier than my bad music tastes.. I bet some of you will, or already have, looked up the words to "Surrender".. silly silly dedicated livejournal readers :)
-- I have no other witty or amusing banter for you today.. so thank you all and good night!