(no subject)
1. It is important that a man helps you around the house and has a job.
2. It is important that a man makes you laugh.
3. It is important to find a man you can count on and doesn't lie to you.
4. It is important that a man loves you and spoils you.
5. It is important that these four men don't know each other.
One saggy boob said to the other saggy boob: "If we don't get some support soon, people will think we're nuts."
SWEARING AT WORK
Dear Employees:
It has been brought to management's attention that some individuals
throughout the company have been using foul language during the course of
normal conversation with their coworkers. Due to complaints received from
some employees who may be easily offended, this type of language will be
no longer been tolerated. We do however, realize the critical importance of
being able to accurately express your feelings when communicating with
coworkers.
Therefore, a list of "TRY SAYING" new phrases has been provided so that
proper exchange of ideas and information can continue in an effective
manner.
1) TRY SAYING:
I think you could use more training.
INSTEAD OF:
You don't know what the f___ you're doing.
2) TRY SAYING:
She's an aggressive go-getter.
INSTEAD OF:
She's a ball-busting b-tch.
3) TRY SAYING:
Perhaps I can work late.
INSTEAD OF:
And when the f___ do you expect me to do this?
4) TRY SAYING:
I'm certain that isn't feasible.
INSTEAD OF:
No f______ way.
5)TRY SAYING:
Really?
INSTEAD OF:
You've got to be sh--ing me!
6) TRY SAYING:
Perhaps you should check with...
INSTEAD OF:
Tell someone who gives a s--t.
7) TRY SAYING:
I wasn't involved in the project.
INSTEAD OF:
It's not my f______ problem.
8) TRY SAYING:
That's interesting.
INSTEAD OF:
What the f___?
9) TRY SAYING:
I'm not sure this can be implemented.
INSTEAD OF:
This s--t won't work.
10) TRY SAYING:
I'll try to schedule that.
INSTEAD OF:
Why the hell didn't you tell me sooner?
11) TRY SAYING:
He's not familiar with the issues.
INSTEAD OF:
He's got his head up his a__.
12) TRY SAYING:
Excuse me, sir?
INSTEAD OF:
Eat s--t and die.
13) TRY SAYING:
So you weren't happy with it?
INSTEAD OF:
Kiss my a__.
14) TRY SAYING:
I'm a bit overloaded at the moment.
INSTEAD OF:
F___ it, I'm on salary
15) TRY SAYING:
I don't think you understand.
INSTEAD OF:
Shove it up your a__.
16) TRY SAYING:
I love a challenge.
INSTEAD OF:
This job sucks.
17) TRY SAYING:
You want me to take care of that?
INSTEAD OF:
Who the hell died and made you boss?
18 ) TRY SAYING:
He's somewhat insensitive.
INSTEAD OF:
He's a pr-ck.
Thank You,
Management
When I feel that nobody loves me, nobody cares for me and everyone is ignoring me, I ask myself.......
AM I TOO SEXY?
2. It is important that a man makes you laugh.
3. It is important to find a man you can count on and doesn't lie to you.
4. It is important that a man loves you and spoils you.
5. It is important that these four men don't know each other.
One saggy boob said to the other saggy boob: "If we don't get some support soon, people will think we're nuts."
SWEARING AT WORK
Dear Employees:
It has been brought to management's attention that some individuals
throughout the company have been using foul language during the course of
normal conversation with their coworkers. Due to complaints received from
some employees who may be easily offended, this type of language will be
no longer been tolerated. We do however, realize the critical importance of
being able to accurately express your feelings when communicating with
coworkers.
Therefore, a list of "TRY SAYING" new phrases has been provided so that
proper exchange of ideas and information can continue in an effective
manner.
1) TRY SAYING:
I think you could use more training.
INSTEAD OF:
You don't know what the f___ you're doing.
2) TRY SAYING:
She's an aggressive go-getter.
INSTEAD OF:
She's a ball-busting b-tch.
3) TRY SAYING:
Perhaps I can work late.
INSTEAD OF:
And when the f___ do you expect me to do this?
4) TRY SAYING:
I'm certain that isn't feasible.
INSTEAD OF:
No f______ way.
5)TRY SAYING:
Really?
INSTEAD OF:
You've got to be sh--ing me!
6) TRY SAYING:
Perhaps you should check with...
INSTEAD OF:
Tell someone who gives a s--t.
7) TRY SAYING:
I wasn't involved in the project.
INSTEAD OF:
It's not my f______ problem.
8) TRY SAYING:
That's interesting.
INSTEAD OF:
What the f___?
9) TRY SAYING:
I'm not sure this can be implemented.
INSTEAD OF:
This s--t won't work.
10) TRY SAYING:
I'll try to schedule that.
INSTEAD OF:
Why the hell didn't you tell me sooner?
11) TRY SAYING:
He's not familiar with the issues.
INSTEAD OF:
He's got his head up his a__.
12) TRY SAYING:
Excuse me, sir?
INSTEAD OF:
Eat s--t and die.
13) TRY SAYING:
So you weren't happy with it?
INSTEAD OF:
Kiss my a__.
14) TRY SAYING:
I'm a bit overloaded at the moment.
INSTEAD OF:
F___ it, I'm on salary
15) TRY SAYING:
I don't think you understand.
INSTEAD OF:
Shove it up your a__.
16) TRY SAYING:
I love a challenge.
INSTEAD OF:
This job sucks.
17) TRY SAYING:
You want me to take care of that?
INSTEAD OF:
Who the hell died and made you boss?
18 ) TRY SAYING:
He's somewhat insensitive.
INSTEAD OF:
He's a pr-ck.
Thank You,
Management
When I feel that nobody loves me, nobody cares for me and everyone is ignoring me, I ask myself.......
AM I TOO SEXY?