does this ever end?
I havent written in here becuase i really havent had alot going on right now. Today has to be one of the most emotional days of my life and I just need to vent and tell the truth about everything because thats the only way im going to feel any better.
You know when you meet that person you think you are going to spend the rest of your life with? Everything seems so perfect, he is always there for you and you feel invinsible like nothing can touch you. I dated someone like that for almost 2 years. For some reason I fell out of love with him. I still love him with all of my heart and I care about ever feeling he has. I broke up with him today. It was definately the most painful thing I have ever done. Seeing this happend about 9 hours ago, and I am still balling over this. But for some reason in the back of head i know this is the right move.
So I am in Minnesota right now, away from everyone and the person I need the most right now. I met this boy in Minnesota who is from Toronto. He is really sweet and I explained to him what is going on. We were going to hang out tonight, and I was really happy because I would be around someone I wanted to be around instead of sitting in a whole in a wall with 3 beds called a Hotel room with my 2 brothers and my parents asking me ever question under the goddamn sun. I just want all this to end. ANyways, his mother has a leash around his balls and wouldnt let him hang out with me tonight. This just added to the confused emotion I am feeling right now. He said he wants to come down to see me every chance he gets, here is my theory, if mommy wont let you hang out when we are in hte same city what makes you think she is going to let you drive to fucking saginaw, mi to see me?
I wish people would realize they are old enough to make decisions for themself but I have no control over that unfortunately. I dont know what to do I dont know how to feel right now. I am just confused. I want what I cant have and what wants me is what I dont want. and that hurts me alot. Im just insanely lost right now, I dont whether to just let go, to cry and get it out, or to just relax and watch things fall like sand through my fingers. I guess I just dont know how to feel ...
Well I vented and I still dont feel right, so hopefully this will just pass over
thanks for taking the time to read my confusion!!
You know when you meet that person you think you are going to spend the rest of your life with? Everything seems so perfect, he is always there for you and you feel invinsible like nothing can touch you. I dated someone like that for almost 2 years. For some reason I fell out of love with him. I still love him with all of my heart and I care about ever feeling he has. I broke up with him today. It was definately the most painful thing I have ever done. Seeing this happend about 9 hours ago, and I am still balling over this. But for some reason in the back of head i know this is the right move.
So I am in Minnesota right now, away from everyone and the person I need the most right now. I met this boy in Minnesota who is from Toronto. He is really sweet and I explained to him what is going on. We were going to hang out tonight, and I was really happy because I would be around someone I wanted to be around instead of sitting in a whole in a wall with 3 beds called a Hotel room with my 2 brothers and my parents asking me ever question under the goddamn sun. I just want all this to end. ANyways, his mother has a leash around his balls and wouldnt let him hang out with me tonight. This just added to the confused emotion I am feeling right now. He said he wants to come down to see me every chance he gets, here is my theory, if mommy wont let you hang out when we are in hte same city what makes you think she is going to let you drive to fucking saginaw, mi to see me?
I wish people would realize they are old enough to make decisions for themself but I have no control over that unfortunately. I dont know what to do I dont know how to feel right now. I am just confused. I want what I cant have and what wants me is what I dont want. and that hurts me alot. Im just insanely lost right now, I dont whether to just let go, to cry and get it out, or to just relax and watch things fall like sand through my fingers. I guess I just dont know how to feel ...
Well I vented and I still dont feel right, so hopefully this will just pass over
thanks for taking the time to read my confusion!!