thinking...

[princess_cj]

High School is a very odd little world. My freshman year was so fun.. no one cared about anything.. we were all happy cuz middle school labels were finally gone. I think I had the most fun with kallie and the whole little cheerleading squad. yes i was a cheerleader. Sophomore year came along and so did the boyfriends. Everyone changed a little bit but we vowed to always remain close as friends. Junior year was a blast.. stupid shit was done.. pissing people off.. becoming close to people i never thought i would. it was just a fun time. This year however, i thought would be so crushing.. becuase i look around and see that i will never be in the same place as over half of these people. I was also hurt beuase i knew i would lose touch with alot of my friends. In February, I have completely changed my perspective on things. I have realized that in high school you are only blessed with aquaintances.. you never know who your real friends are. Infact, you dont really make real friends until college. It makes me really sad, and i was talking to some of my firends about it and they agreed. It hurts alot though, becuase the poeple you may feel closest too are usually the ones to turn around. They bitch about never calling them and stuff like that.. well I am more of someone who is like hey lets just do this.. right now.. i dont plan i dont like talking on the phone for endless hours talking about the latest heritage gossip.. who is sleeping with who? who beat up who.. I dont know.. I remember being so involved and always wanting to know everything. I remember.. even thismonth, how pissedi would get about people who talked shit about me.. one person in particular. But I have came to the conclusion that you cant make everyone happy.. and i am not going to try anymore. Im not goingto change myself. Im not going to go out of my way.. and i really dont care if i dont make anyone happy. Its sad and sounds selfish.. but I guess if everyone else is going to act that way.. I can to. I cannot wait to graduate.. I am staying home cuz thats where my true friends will be, and I cant wait to get out of the loop. Someone is your friend one minute.. finds someone else and drops you.. god forbid girls have more than one friend.. but fuck it.. I really dont care...

Ona lighter note, I was sad cuz i had nothing to do today.. so i got this random phone call from a dear friend of mine wanting to go to great lakes crossing.. i love it that she just randomly thinks of things and actually does it.. thats soo fun. Well thats waht im doing today..and im glad i could vent.. peace