wow, its been a looong time
so much has happend since i have last wrote. i started a new relationship with long time friend dan rose. everything was fine until he popped the question. i feel like everything went down hill from there. i wish that we could just back up to when things were simple. we talked on the phone and when he was home we went out and had fun. now there is just way too much pressure. it makes me crazy. from all of this i have learned some things. i have never been the type of person to hide what im feeling or thinking and i will never hide it again just to apease someone. ill never again settle for less than what i want or deserve. i want someone to love me whether i am in sweats or i a little black dress. i dont want someone to wish that i were blond or a size 1. thats not me and i wont change for anyone but me. there is someone out there that wants me for who i am not who they can turn me into. i believe that. i just need to be patient. as for dan and i... i dont now where we stand. i tried to call him and he wont call me back. i dont know where to go from here. but we will see...