Last night
Well we decided to party last night. I see the remnants of a good time strung around my room. It looks like a tornado went off. I have the distinct feeling there was some table dancing and some sheets involved. Pshhh... I know! (haha) I don't remember much else. But as I look around at a broken shot glass on the floor and empty liquor bottles strewn around the room I know it must have been fun. Wait.. what the hell are all my clothes doing on the floor. I know we went to IHOP at 7am, with Brad. I also remember tom never came by last night. I vaugely remember seeing him... but why? I wish I could remember a little bit more. Hummel is passed out asleep on the futon. Mary and I went to lunch at noon on the cafeteria. Brad is awake, doing homework probably. Tom is asleep. It's a quiet day at good ol' DU. I'm thinking about heading home for a bit to see the parentals. I think I will. this situation with Tom is okay. A little weird but okay nonetheless. We're good at being friends. No one understands what's happening to me right now. No one ever could. I'm probably getting very emo but whatev. I'm just feeling weird. I don't really want to get drunk and party all the time, but that's all I can do. It's the only way that nothing bad exists. I don't have to think about my biggest dream going down the crapper, or anything else. I can be fun. I don't know this stupid LJ makes me very philosophical sometimes. Brad listened to me whine yesterday for and hour. I hated that. I mean I love that he felt the need to listen, but I hate it too. I don't think Mary, Tom, Brad, and Meaghan realize what they do for me everyday. Tom might, I tell him enough. Brad maybe. I think he got the gist yesterday. Meaghan... I don't know. She doesn't know a lot. Mary I really don't know. I wish... something. Anything could care about me. the way I care about everything else. Sometimes it's just so one-sided. Sometimes I forget to breathe. I'm forgetting right now. I don't know how to get out of this numbness. I miss Vince, I miss his friendship. Soemtimes I miss Dom too. I miss everyone and everything. I miss Tom right now. I could use a hug from him. He's sleeping though. I wish people would understand that right now I'm on the edge and I'm about to fall off. I think I'm slipping. What do I do? funny how this entry started happy and then got all sad. Goodbye...
-L
-L