Random Thoughts
Well it seems for the past month I have been really depressed. Everything just seems to be falling apart. Everyone who I thought I was close with are just not there anymore. Everything is just extremely different. I just find myself not being able to trust anyone anymore. All I am seeing is lieing, betrayal, and friendships just falling apart because of it. Around this time a year ago is when everything started to fall apart but that was because of Warren and everyone knows the story about what happened. Then everyone got boyfriends and started doing their own thing, thats cool and all but it just drifted everyone apart. Ashley and I tried to hang out and get Aaron and Mike talking again and we succeeded. But then that only led to more problems. I mean sometimes I just feel like saying fuck it, I tried and I failed at trying to stay close with Ashley but then something happens and it brings me back to all the times when we were there for one another and how we could talk for hours about anything and it just kills me. Everything just changed so quickly. I am just so taken back by everything I mean I know that everything thats good in life has to come to an end at some point but damn that was fast. I mean I just lost my two best friends in less then a year, and I have not one damn fucking clue how I did it. The only person right now who I can say that has been through everything with me since I've known him and loves me more then I believe anyone has ever have before would be Aaron. If it wasn't for him I don't know what I would do, I don't even think I would even be here and I love him for that.
There is also the problem of what I am going to do with my life. I have explored all different careers and I just don't know what I am interested in and could actually provide a good living for me in the future. It also really doesn't help that I am a procrastinator. I need to get this shit straightened out. Hopefully tomorrow Aaron and I can go downtown to get my birth certificate so I don't have to wait two weeks for Alabama to mail it to me. If I do get that tomorrow we are also going to go get my permit and then go job searching. So if everything works out tomorrow like I hope I figure at least I be on the right track and then soon I can get my GED and finally go to college.
On a better note, Danny and Shannon's birthday party was tonight. It was fun we played drinking,games,danced,and opened presents. All in all the party turned out to be alot more fun then I expected. Except for the fact that Ashley came for like 5 min. and left. She didn't even say hi to me or nothing. I didn't even know she left until I was going to go say hi to her because I thought she was in the kitchen and Autumn explained that she had to go drop Maris off at the car. Yet she never came back and never called or anything. Danny wasn't to thrilled about that.
Anyways, Danny & Shannon, Happy Birthday! Love ya guys!
There is also the problem of what I am going to do with my life. I have explored all different careers and I just don't know what I am interested in and could actually provide a good living for me in the future. It also really doesn't help that I am a procrastinator. I need to get this shit straightened out. Hopefully tomorrow Aaron and I can go downtown to get my birth certificate so I don't have to wait two weeks for Alabama to mail it to me. If I do get that tomorrow we are also going to go get my permit and then go job searching. So if everything works out tomorrow like I hope I figure at least I be on the right track and then soon I can get my GED and finally go to college.
On a better note, Danny and Shannon's birthday party was tonight. It was fun we played drinking,games,danced,and opened presents. All in all the party turned out to be alot more fun then I expected. Except for the fact that Ashley came for like 5 min. and left. She didn't even say hi to me or nothing. I didn't even know she left until I was going to go say hi to her because I thought she was in the kitchen and Autumn explained that she had to go drop Maris off at the car. Yet she never came back and never called or anything. Danny wasn't to thrilled about that.
Anyways, Danny & Shannon, Happy Birthday! Love ya guys!