REVIEW: Prince of Persia
So I have to start out with saying that I was incredibly relieved that this movie didn't release in 3D. I mean, seriously, each and every time I watch a movie in 3D I feel like I'm going to vomit. Of course there are differences with the 3D stuff. There's an incredible difference between the 3D that was Avatar and the 3D that was Clash of the Titans. I actually enjoyed Clash of the Titans more because it was nauseatingly 3D.
After that, I have to say that I didn't have incredibly high expectations for this movie. I've yet to see a decent adaptation of a video game. In fact, I don't think one will ever exist because video games don't exactly have these amazing plots that make them such great movie material. Of course that comes from the girl that is nearly bored to tears by video games. I've never really understood the point in them, I've always found them boring and a waste of time. So, having never actually played the game, I didn't have any expectations, I didn't know what to expect, which is probably a good thing since it might resemble the novel to movie adaptation trap that I fall into again and again (there are too many to name them all but I'm looking at you Percy Jackson... right at you).
Now, I know that this movie won't win any Oscars, that fact is based on Jake Gyllenhaal's horrendous accent alone. It's not an award winning film by any means, but it does accomplish what it obviously set out be (and as a Jerry Bruckheimer film it's purpose was beyond obvious): it's fun.
There's really only great talent in it: Ben Kingsley. And I have to wonder how they landed him because I've always imagined him more as an award winning drama kind of actor (of course this could have been a purely financial movie on his part). Jake (we're on a first name basis because I refuse to type his last name again), in my opinion, is a decent actor. I thought so in Brokeback Mountain (and several of his movies since then), but the movie that I think he was really good in is [my beloved] Donnie Darko, he shows real talent in that movie. Gemma Arterton though, while she certainly is beautiful (not really believable for someone that apparently lives in, or at least near, Persia) is not really the greatest of actresses, many of her lines sound rather awkward coming from her.
Speaking of the dialog (we were, right?), I was a little dismayed by some of the cheesier bits ("There must be a reason you can't take your eyes off me"). There's always a way around cheesy lines, you just have to not be lazy and actually look for it, I fully believe that. Still, is it a common belief that if you're not in America you must have a British accent? Did they talk like the Brits in ancient Persia? If so, why? If not, was there really a reason for Jake to fake that accent then? Of course it's probably better than him faking a Persian accent. Which also begs the question why they couldn't get someone with a more middle-eastern background, instead of the Swedish background they chose. It'd probably be cheaper than it was to use all that mystic tanning on the leads. Of course, I have to admit that Jake's muscles (particularly his lovely arms) were an excellent visual for all those classic moments that I recognized from the video game commercials.
I do really like all the swordplay in the movie. There's a lot of it, which is probably one of the major things that action movies set in modern day times lack: sword fights. If someone could give me an action movie with a car-chase, shit blowing up and sword fights, I'd cry (okay, probably not, but I'd watch it a few times). Jake is pretty hot with those swords too. They all are. It makes me rather jealous, wishing that I'd at least learned fencing in high school (why didn't I go to private school?).
Other than the obvious flaws of the fact that Jake and Gemma in no way fit the area they were supposedly born in in the film, the ridiculous Jakeccent, and the cheesy lines, I have only one other problem. In the end, the climax of the film, when Dastan and Tamina are running to the big sand thing to stop evil Ben Kingsley (who's name in the film I honestly never quite caught) they stop, and enjoy a rather unnecessary make out session in the midst of all the drama and the danger and the potential that Dastan's uncle is about to do some world-ending stuff. The make out is so ill-timed that I actually called out (in a packed theater) "Is this really the moment?", something that earned a shush or two and even more laughs and nods from other viewers.
Of course, being a Disney film, it all ended well. His uncle did the world ending thing, but it didn't end the world and it only turned back time far enough so he could fix what goes wrong before anything ever really goes wrong. Because he calls out his evil uncle before he has the chance to cause further problems his father doesn't die, his brothers aren't killed in front of him and Tamina doesn't sacrifice herself so he can attempt to stop his uncle. And the prince still gets the princess, but this time he knows everything that could have happened and how they already fell for each other and she's miles behind with absolutely no knowledge of what had happened between the already, but didn't actually happen. This time altering shit is confusing, whatever.
Of course this movie makes me actually want to attempt to play the games. Of course that would mean that I would not only have to buy the games, I'd have to buy whatever gaming system they're playable on (especially since I currently don't have any). Then I'd have to figure out all this gaming stuff because I've never really been good at the whole press the square and the triangle at the same time to do a jump spinny thing and take our your opponent thing. I could barely play Super Mario Brothers 3 on the original nintendo gaming system, and that was years ago. I did quite enjoy the one where you drive the car through a the city and had to jump over boxes and spikes and pink cats and get the balloons. And ExciteBike, I loved that shit, I was absolute crap at it, but I loved it all the same.
After that, I have to say that I didn't have incredibly high expectations for this movie. I've yet to see a decent adaptation of a video game. In fact, I don't think one will ever exist because video games don't exactly have these amazing plots that make them such great movie material. Of course that comes from the girl that is nearly bored to tears by video games. I've never really understood the point in them, I've always found them boring and a waste of time. So, having never actually played the game, I didn't have any expectations, I didn't know what to expect, which is probably a good thing since it might resemble the novel to movie adaptation trap that I fall into again and again (there are too many to name them all but I'm looking at you Percy Jackson... right at you).
Now, I know that this movie won't win any Oscars, that fact is based on Jake Gyllenhaal's horrendous accent alone. It's not an award winning film by any means, but it does accomplish what it obviously set out be (and as a Jerry Bruckheimer film it's purpose was beyond obvious): it's fun.
There's really only great talent in it: Ben Kingsley. And I have to wonder how they landed him because I've always imagined him more as an award winning drama kind of actor (of course this could have been a purely financial movie on his part). Jake (we're on a first name basis because I refuse to type his last name again), in my opinion, is a decent actor. I thought so in Brokeback Mountain (and several of his movies since then), but the movie that I think he was really good in is [my beloved] Donnie Darko, he shows real talent in that movie. Gemma Arterton though, while she certainly is beautiful (not really believable for someone that apparently lives in, or at least near, Persia) is not really the greatest of actresses, many of her lines sound rather awkward coming from her.
Speaking of the dialog (we were, right?), I was a little dismayed by some of the cheesier bits ("There must be a reason you can't take your eyes off me"). There's always a way around cheesy lines, you just have to not be lazy and actually look for it, I fully believe that. Still, is it a common belief that if you're not in America you must have a British accent? Did they talk like the Brits in ancient Persia? If so, why? If not, was there really a reason for Jake to fake that accent then? Of course it's probably better than him faking a Persian accent. Which also begs the question why they couldn't get someone with a more middle-eastern background, instead of the Swedish background they chose. It'd probably be cheaper than it was to use all that mystic tanning on the leads. Of course, I have to admit that Jake's muscles (particularly his lovely arms) were an excellent visual for all those classic moments that I recognized from the video game commercials.
I do really like all the swordplay in the movie. There's a lot of it, which is probably one of the major things that action movies set in modern day times lack: sword fights. If someone could give me an action movie with a car-chase, shit blowing up and sword fights, I'd cry (okay, probably not, but I'd watch it a few times). Jake is pretty hot with those swords too. They all are. It makes me rather jealous, wishing that I'd at least learned fencing in high school (why didn't I go to private school?).
Other than the obvious flaws of the fact that Jake and Gemma in no way fit the area they were supposedly born in in the film, the ridiculous Jakeccent, and the cheesy lines, I have only one other problem. In the end, the climax of the film, when Dastan and Tamina are running to the big sand thing to stop evil Ben Kingsley (who's name in the film I honestly never quite caught) they stop, and enjoy a rather unnecessary make out session in the midst of all the drama and the danger and the potential that Dastan's uncle is about to do some world-ending stuff. The make out is so ill-timed that I actually called out (in a packed theater) "Is this really the moment?", something that earned a shush or two and even more laughs and nods from other viewers.
Of course, being a Disney film, it all ended well. His uncle did the world ending thing, but it didn't end the world and it only turned back time far enough so he could fix what goes wrong before anything ever really goes wrong. Because he calls out his evil uncle before he has the chance to cause further problems his father doesn't die, his brothers aren't killed in front of him and Tamina doesn't sacrifice herself so he can attempt to stop his uncle. And the prince still gets the princess, but this time he knows everything that could have happened and how they already fell for each other and she's miles behind with absolutely no knowledge of what had happened between the already, but didn't actually happen. This time altering shit is confusing, whatever.
Of course this movie makes me actually want to attempt to play the games. Of course that would mean that I would not only have to buy the games, I'd have to buy whatever gaming system they're playable on (especially since I currently don't have any). Then I'd have to figure out all this gaming stuff because I've never really been good at the whole press the square and the triangle at the same time to do a jump spinny thing and take our your opponent thing. I could barely play Super Mario Brothers 3 on the original nintendo gaming system, and that was years ago. I did quite enjoy the one where you drive the car through a the city and had to jump over boxes and spikes and pink cats and get the balloons. And ExciteBike, I loved that shit, I was absolute crap at it, but I loved it all the same.