Social Misery Chapter 14 A
I just couldn’t sleep knowing that the Christmas party was in a matter of hours instead of days. For a long while I was able to just put it all out of my mind, especially once Tom came into the picture. He is able to put pretty much anything out of my mind.
Glancing over at my alarm clock that’s on the other side of Tom’s sleeping form, it glares back 2:00 AM. It was as if it was mocking me. I plopped back down onto my pillow; Tom just made a grunt noise and then nuzzled closer to me. I enjoy watching Tom sleep, he always looks so innocent and carefree.
I toss and turn a few more times before looking back over at the alarm clock, 2:15 AM.
“Damnit!” I mutter quietly before I scoot out of bed, trying not to wake Tom up and pad over to the closed bedroom door. I glance over my shoulder to see Tom having rolled over to my spot, nuzzling my pillow. A smile comes over my lips, something that I have realized I do a lot more especially towards Tom.
“I need to do something or else I’m going to spontaneously combust!” I mutter to myself as I walk out of my bedroom, closing the door behind me before going to my study. I’ll probably see about going onto my blog, haven’t been on that since Gustav first arrived.
~*~*~*~
Since sleeping with Bill, I have had some of the best sleep that I can remember ever having. I just always feel much more rested and waking up next to a warm body isn’t bad either.
But this morning I immediately know something is off as soon as I open my eyes. First, it’s still dark outside. I know this because usually there are a few rays of light along the ceiling. Secondly, I don’t feel a warm body next to me. I lift myself up to look around the bed and notice that in fact I am sleeping in Bill’s spot and there is no Bill.
As I sit up in the suddenly cold bed, I realize there is no Bill in this room at all. Which is very strange as his bedroom is one of his favorite rooms in the entire house. He tries to spend as much time in this room as he can. Never figured out why, but I don’t really care either. I enjoy being wherever Bill is.
I managed to get up out of the bed and out of the room, remembering to close the door behind me. I learned very early on that Bill has a thing against open doors. If Bill realizes he is in a room that has a door open and he isn’t able to close it, he will watch it like a bird does its prey. It was amusing to watch the first couple times at school, but after awhile I also notice that he will start to get highly agitated.
I look down the hall, of course there aren’t any actual lights on in any of them, Bill also seems to have a weird aversion to having a lot of lights on. It would almost seem like he is a vampire or something absurd like that, but I know he isn’t.
‘He’ll probably go to his study and wile away time on his laptop.’ I think to myself as I try to figure out Bill’s bizarre habits and how they fit into this current situation. It seems that when Bill isn’t sure of something or just generally nervous he automatically goes into his study. I’ve come to the conclusion that he sees his laptop as a sort of security blanket. I have a security blanket as well, my guitar. It has been with me through pretty much everything and I can always relax myself by just strumming out a few notes.
I open the door of the study. Sure enough Bill is sitting at the laptop still dressed in his sleep clothes. The only light on in the entire room is coming from the computer.
“What time is it?” I ask quietly, not wanting to startle him as I go on into the room and shut the door behind me quietly.
“Hmm?” He mutters as he turns around to look at me. I can see that he probably hasn’t slept at all tonight with bags forming underneath his gorgeous eyes and the frown on his lips.
“What time is it?” I repeat as I stand behind him, putting my hands on his shoulders. They are a tight knot under my hands, shaking a little from the strain.
“Oh, it’s 4:45 AM.” He replies tiredly as he leans back against me. I slip my hands down to wrap around his chest and rest my head on top of his head.
“Why you up?” I ask and know not to ask him to come back to bed, it wouldn’t do any good. When Bill gets wound up, the only thing that can be done is to just be there and help him through it if he’ll let you. He has this weird sense of independence and doesn’t like having anyone helping him.
“I….I just couldn’t sleep. So many things are going on that I just can’t settle.” He says with some difficulty but doesn’t move out of my embrace, so that is something.
“Come, go to couch.” I tell him with a nudge of my chin as I let him go and walk over to the comfortable, leather couch that is along the wall. All of Bill’s personal rooms are about comfort and style. It’s rather amusing that Bill is probably one of the most stylish people I know but doesn’t brag about any of it. He is so quiet you could forget he is there at times.
Bill doesn’t say anything, just closes the laptop putting the room into total darkness. “I’ll get a light.” He mutters quietly before I hear him pad softly on the wooden floors to a corner that has a tall floor lamp.
The sudden flood of light partially blinds me for a moment. Bill comes over and settles right next to me on the couch and lying his head down on my shoulder.
“Talk?” I ask him simply, knowing that if Bill doesn’t want to talk then he would stay clammed up and nothing could force him to say anything.
“Tom…this Holiday Party is the bane of my existence…well one of them at any rate. It’s so pointless.” He mutters quietly and with his mouth being so close to my ear, I am having to fight against the shivers crawling up and down my spine.
“I be with you.” I tell him as I wrap my arms around him, pulling him as close to my body as I can. I can feel his shivers and know he is generally scared about going.
“Thank You.” He simply says as he turns his face toward me and plants a simple closed mouth kiss to my cheek. That spot is going to be burning a brand into my skin all day now; it always does when he kisses me.
“Lets just lay here for a little while before we have to worry about getting ready.” He says after a few moments of silence passes. Bill stretches his legs out on the other end of the couch as he lays against me, forcing my body to lay down as well. I don’t complain as I generally enjoy having Bill in my arms and knowing he is safe.
*~*~*~*~*
Tom and I doze on the couch for a few hours, when I finally manage to glance over at the illuminated clock on my desk it shows 7:37 AM. I lay back down by Tom, he is so warm and comfortable that I just don’t want to move or go anywhere but here. I get a weird sense of happiness knowing that I get to sleep next to Tom every night.
I just lay here listening to Tom’s steady heartbeat, not moving or really thinking about anything other than Tom.
He seems to sense that I’m awake, because when I turn my head over to where I can see his face, I see him just simply looking at me with this soft look on his face and a small upturn of his lips.
“Morning.” I say to him softly before inching up a little and giving him a peak on his lips.
“Morgen.” He replies as he wipes his tongue across his lips before tightening his arms around me and pulling me closer to him. I have noticed that he enjoys keeping me as close to him as possible. I’m not complaining, he has a wonderful body to be kept close to.
“We really need to get up. I still have to figure out what I’m wearing plus we both need to take a shower. Neither of us took one yesterday and I know we gotta be stinking.” I tell him finally as I place my ear back over his chest. His heartbeat is a piece of music I could never get tired of listening to.
“Ja, I know.” He mutters as he rubs his hands up and down my arms before settling them on my back. Tom’s touch always wakens me up.
“Come on stinky! Let’s get going!” I say with a grin as I get off of him, immediately missing his warmth. I put out a hand for him to grab, knowing his back is probably killing him from having me lay on top of him for so long.
He grabs it and wraps his hand around mine, pulling me back down on top of him.
“Not yet.” He mutters in my ear before wrapping his arms back around me, I swear he has to be part vine or something but I’m not going to complain.
“Alright” I reply with a sigh and a smile on my lips. Looking up at him, he is just looking down at me with that same soft expression on his face. I give him a wide grin before laying my head back down, this time I’m right in the crook of Tom’s neck. I can feel one of his dreadlocks trying to tickle my nose, but he smells so good that I just don’t care.
I can feel him making patterns up and down my back; it just makes me go boneless on top of him.
“I’ve got to be heavy on top of you.” I mutter to him quietly, not sure if I want him to hear me or not. I know I have many insecurities but I don’t know if I want him to know about them.
I can feel him suddenly starting to shake underneath me, I look up quickly wanting to make sure he is okay. Instead I see him trying to suppress a laugh as he continues to look down at me.
“What?!” I ask indignantly, not knowing what I could have possibly said that would result in his laughter but I do know it has to be about me.
“Bill, you hardly weigh anything! There is no way you could possibly be heavy.” He says as he pulls me closer to him as I try to get off.
What he says simply blows my mind. I know I’m skinner than most people but I’m not a waif either.
“Tom, you’re just saying that.” I say to him, not wanting him to try and pacify me. I am not one of those types of people that need to have my self-confidence raised.
“No I am not! You are not heavy in the least.” He tells me seriously as he brings one of his hands up to my face, strokes my cheek before rubbing his thumb over my lower lip. “You are gorgeous.” He finally says after he stares intently at me.
I am just blown away that someone could see me as gorgeous. Sure I know I am pretty, at least when I have my make-up on but no one has every said anything beyond that.
I have to move, get away for a few moments before he sees me start welling up with tears. I don’t think I could handle that if he saw me crying.
Tom goes back to making patterns over my back, but I get up and refuse to allow him to pull me back down. I bat his hands away as I hurry out of the door, closing it behind me before making my way to my bedroom. Ignoring his calls for me to come back.
~*~*~*~
I should have known not to push it with Bill. Now he has locked himself into his bedroom and won’t open the door to anyone until he is good and ready.
He is gorgeous and I am constantly left breathless by just how gorgeous he really is. It seems no one has ever told him, which does blow my mind. I don’t think he even notices any of the lust filled stares he gets at school from both girls and boys.
I rub a hand over my face before sitting up on the couch. Looking over at the clock on the desk, it shows 8:15 AM.
“Might as well go and take a shower.” I tell myself as I get up and walk over to the closed door.
‘Maybe after I take a shower, I’ll be able to get Bill’s bedroom door open.’ I think to myself as I open the door and then close it behind myself. I can hear music coming from Bill’s room; it’s that one female singer that he has a tendency to listen to a lot.
~*~*~*~
I manage to relax myself under the warm spray of the shower, Maria Mena’s voice surrounding me and blocking everything else out.
‘He thinks I’m gorgeous.’ Keeps cycling around in my head and no matter how hard I try to push it away, it keeps coming back.
How could I possibly be gorgeous? I dress weird. I like wearing make-up. I refuse to fit in with everybody else. All of this has always pushed people away, not bring anyone closer.
Nothing seems to want to make sense anymore, at least since Tom came into the picture.
I turn off the shower, feeling the warmth of the water turning colder the longer I stay under the spray. Reaching over the top of the shower stall and grab my towel hanging just outside the sliding door.
I turn my attention to what I’m going to wear tonight. There are a few outfits I could wear, but I’m not sure about them yet.
With the towel wrapped around my waist and my hair dripping down my back, I open the bathroom door where a sudden rush of cold air seems to just surround me. Shivers rake through my body and goose bumps coming up over my arms and legs.
I walk over to my closet full of clothes, open the double doors to be confronted with racks upon racks of clothes. Everything is in order and easy to find. Now it’s just the matter of deciding what I’m going to wear. Of course I have to be suitably attired or else I’ll have to deal with Mother’s nagging and the disapproving looks from Rosa. The looks from Rosa are what I can’t deal with, that is one of the sure ways for me to feel guilty.
The towel still wrapped snugly around my waist; I walk into the fully packed closet and head straight to the back where my more formal outfits are kept. Looking at one that has a matching hat above it on the rack, “I could wear this but I think I wore it to Starla’s birthday bash last year.” I say out loud as I try and remember the last time I wore each of them.
Apparently all of them have been worn within the past year and half now that I’m thinking about it. “Damn! I have to go shopping!” I finally admit to myself in a panic as I rush out, grabbing a pair of sweat pants and a hoodie. I hurriedly get dress before I go out into the hallway, closing my bedroom door behind me only to be confronted with Tom’s partially open bedroom door.
‘I can’t just leave without telling Tom something….I wonder if I could just sneak in and leave him a note….But what if he doesn’t have anything to wear, all I’ve seen him wear are jeans, sweat pants, and those horrendously baggy shirts.’ I start thinking to myself, my hand going to my still partially wet hair to rub at it in thought.
“Bill?” breaks through my train of thought and causes me to look up. Standing in front of me is Tom in a pair of his baggy jeans but still shirtless. I can see drops of water trailing down his chest from his still soaking wet dreads.
“Yea?” I finally push out of my now dry mouth. ‘God he is hot!’ is all that I can think about now.
“You okay?” he asks with a note of concern in his voice….oh yea!
“Umm…do you need to go shopping for clothes?” I ask him after I cough through the lump trying to settle itself in my throat.
“Nein…have clothes to wear.” He tells me with a raised eyebrow before opening the door further in an obvious invitation for me to come in. I sigh before walking in and closing the door behind me. I don’t know what to say or what he expects me to say.
Looking up at him, I see him still looking at me. Our eyes connect and before I could worry about anything else, he closes the 2 feet between us and takes me into his arms.
I can tell he just got out of the shower because he is still warm and slightly damp, getting my hoodie slightly damp as well.
“Bill” he breaths out as he warms both of his hands underneath my hoodie. I allow myself to take comfort from him, pushing aside my previous worries.
“Where you going?” Tom asks me, pulling away from the tight hug he had pulled me into.
“I have to go shopping! I don’t have an outfit I can wear tonight!” I tell him as I ruffle my hair, trying to think what else I might have to get while going out. It’s early enough that I should be able to get everything taken care of in enough time.
“Ahhs,” Tom replies as he leans down to grab a shirt from off his bed and slips it over his head.
“Lets go” He says with a nod of his head as he motions to the door, waiting on me.
“What are you going to wear?” I ask suspiciously, not trusting him to dress correctly but knowing Tom he wouldn’t care.
“Got clothes.” He replies with a shrug, gesturing towards the door again.
“I know” I tell him with a frown before going past him and to the open closet. Turning on the light, I’m greeted with jeans scattered on the floor and a few shirts hanging up. I inch myself further in and I notice more shirts laying on the floor mixed with jeans, more than enough caps to go with every outfit he owns.
“Tom….I see plenty of jeans but where are your really nice clothes?” I yell out of the closet only to get scared enough to let a small ‘eep’ when he says, “towards back with your clothes.” Right by my ear. I glance behind me and see him straight out smirking at me.
I huff out a sigh before making my way towards the very back. I have to actually walk on top of his clothes just to make it towards the very back.
His nice clothes are a pair of equally baggy pair of black pants and an equally baggy white long-sleeve dress shirt with a matching white and black cap above it. All I could do was gape.
“This is it?” I ask slightly horrified but not wanting to straight tell him so.
“Ja” He tells me with a nod of his head as he continues to smirk, he just has to know I won’t approve.
“We’re both going shopping, now!” I tell him firmly as I turn around, only to bump right into him. I look down at him and see that Tom has his head cocked to the side slightly as if he is trying to figure me out.
“Come!” I tell him determinedly as he push him out of the closet, closing the door behind me.
“We have a lot that needs to be done and not as much time as I would like.” I mutter as head out of bedroom, going towards mine to get my car keys and wallet.
~*~*~*~
We spent over 5 hours shopping for this Holiday party tonight. I don’t think I’ve ever seen Bill actually care so much about anything as he does this party. He put so much thought into each of our outfits. I still don’t see what’s wrong with the outfit hanging in the closet but he seemed absolutely horrified by it.
Looking down at the bags Bill put on my bed before rushing out and into his own room. He bought me more than just one outfit for tonight; there are a few different ones. Told me he didn’t want to have worry again about me not having the appropriate clothing again. He sounding almost like his mother did the other night. It’s rather disturbing how much Bill seems to hate his parents but then tries to go to such lengths to please them at the same time.
Opening the first bag, shirts. All of them are long-sleeved dress shirts. Bill told me I should wear the white shirt tonight, it would look similar to what he is suppose to be wearing. I still have no clue what he decided on wearing. Bill tried on so many clothes, a few he didn’t even show me.
Pulling out the white shirt and setting it aside. I’ll go with what he suggested. It would look really amazing if we seemed to match, almost as if we were going as a couple. Our relationship hasn’t been defined yet and I’m okay with that as I know the moment that I try and push things any further, Bill could be lost to me. He is just so shut-off to allowing anyone close to him, that getting as far as I have has been about patience and keeping my own distance.
The next bag has pants, these are the one thing we actually argued about in the store. He was bound and determined to get me into some tight monstrosities that would probably cut off blood flow to vital areas. I couldn’t have that! We managed to come to an agreement that I would have matching pants and jackets but the shirts would be more fitting. It seemed to make him happy even though he would still scowl at the pants from time to time. I would look over to the sales lady helping us and she would always have this little smile on her face.
Took the black pants out and laid the out next the shirt. It seems the classic black and white looks best for me, something about my skin tone and hair. I didn’t pay much attention to what Bill was babbling about. Just took the clothes and tried them on, anything to make him happy and hopefully put my blunder from this morning out of his mind. He has enough to stress on him at the moment, don’t want to add myself to it.
I take the littlest bag and dump it out on my bed; the contents are just some thin headbands. Bill informed me that since this part was formal, it wouldn’t look right for me to wear one of my typical caps. So he went and bought me these headbands, all of them are black but I have a suspicion that these were bought from a girl store. He told me to wear my dreads up with these, after I waxed them up and made them overall neater. I have certainly grabbed onto the idea that he is very firm on me being presentable. Almost has b being a little nervous of what I should expect from tonight.
~*~*~*~
It took me longer than I thought it would be to shop, but I also didn’t realize how much of a pain Tom can be either. He still looks amazing in clothes that actually fit him; at least he is willing to wear more fitted shirts. He has such an amazing body that I do want to show him off a little.
Looking into the mirror, I know I’m wearing more than I normally look but I kind of want to shock my parents and look nice for Tom. I fluff my hair a little more, I don’t think I even have anymore hairspray left in the house.
Glancing over at my alarm clock, it shows that I have run out of time and need to be leaving the house with Tom in tow. I grab my cellphone from off my dresser along with my wallet and car keys. I informed my parents earlier that I was driving to the party and not taking a limo like Mother wanted me to. I just refuse to be anymore at their whims than I already am. This way, I can leave whenever I want to without having to go through my parents to allow it.
After looking at the mirror another time, messing with a few of my necklaces one more time, I finally walk out of my room closing the door behind me.
~*~*~*~
Rosa seems to excited about me and Bill going to this party together. I think it has more on it being Bill and I going together than anything else. She has a camera in hand as she waits with me by the front door, waiting on Bill to finally make his way down. I’ve been ready for over an hour.
The Trumper’s left awhile ago, both looking very festive with Mrs. Trumper wearing a deep red dress with a black shawl over her shoulders and some kind of greenery in her hair. Mr. Trumper was just wearing a black suite but was wearing a red, green, and gold tie. Mrs. Trumper didn’t seem to impressed with it if her scowling was anything to go by every time to looked over at him.
Rosa made some noise that caused me too look up. Looking up, I swear I must have lost the ability to breathe. Bill looks just utterly amazing! His hair is actually standing up, it must be defying gravity. I never got to see what Bill decided on wearing tonight but I never would have thought he could look this amazing.
Wearing a pair of fitted charcoal pants that leaves nothing to the imagination, white long-sleeve shirt that is similar to mine but has this puffy lace stuff on the chest and comes down to a deep v. He is also wearing a matching charcoal suite jacket that is just as fitted as the pants. The jewelry! I have come to realize that Bill likes jewelry but I just never realized how much. He must have at least 5 or so different necklaces that hang at different lengths and rings on every finger.
Bill just sparkles and shines. He’ll probably even outshine the giant Christmas tree I’m sure the Robertson’s will have.
*~*~*~*
Walking down the stairs, where I knew Tom and Rosa would be waiting was somewhat nerve racking. I’m mostly worried about Tom’s expression. Was I dressed up too much for Tom’s taste?
The look on Tom’s face instantly calmed me. He was honestly struck silent. That’s not a hard feat to accomplish with him, but that look on his face just made everything fall into place for me. He was checking me out! I don’t think I’ve ever had someone actually check me out and like what their seeing.
Tom was certainly not bad looking either. He has his dreads neatly put up on top of his head with one of the headbands that I bought him. They look so nice and it was almost as if they were streaming down his back, instead of a jumbling up bee’s hive like usual. I couldn’t get him to budge an ounce on his damn baggy pants, something about not want his favorite parts to fall off, but I did manage to get him into a nice shirt.
He has on some nice, plain black baggy pants. Their not as baggy as he usually wears but still big enough he wouldn’t complain. His chest! I can see his chest with how fitted the white dress shirt is underneath the open baggy jacket that matches his pants. Looking down at his feet, Tom’s wearing a pair of black and white sneakers. I just roll my eyes and I can hear Rosa snickering off to the side.
Looking over at her, she has this small smile on his lips and an equally soft look in her eyes. I can tell that she’s so happy. Then she pulls up the camera and motions for us to stand close together. I feel Tom put an arm around my waist, pulling me flush up against him right before the flash goes off.
“You two have fun.” Rosa tells us with a grin as she opens the door, shooing us out with her hands.
*~*~*~*
Bill had insisted that he drive us to the party. I’m not sure if it was more out of rebellion towards his parents or if their was more to it. I don’t really mind either way and I never heard anything from my parents in regards to the party, even though I’m pretty sure they will be there.
He sang along to every song that came on, later I realized that it was some CD playing he had made especially for tonight. All of the songs are some kind of Holiday songs remixed, a few I don’t understand but they made Bill smile and laugh. Something I have just recently seen him do a lot more.
Bill turns off onto a narrow road that has street lights dotted along the way, the further we go the brighter it gets up ahead. Then suddenly as if a giant sheet was thrown off a large house appears before us. It’s more like a small castle! Bill pulls up right in front of the entrance were there valets waiting to take the care for us.
Getting out, I see a few people standing around all nicely dressed along with cars and limos nicely parked. I can’t help but stare at everything around. I haven’t seen anything this amazing since long before I cam to the States.
“Come on Tom!” Bill says in excitement as he grabs my upper arm and drags me through the entrance.
“Amazing.” I mutter to Bill as I continue to look around, everything is in Ivory or Ebony. The Robertson’s seem to have a fascination with elephants and lions, they are placed all over the place as decorations or wall art or fixtures.
“Yea it is. They are from very old money and they like to flaunt it but they got even richer by playing the stock market. There is some thought that they rigid it in their favor, but nothing was ever proven and probably swept under the rug.” Bill whispers to me in my ear, sending shivers down my spine and causing goosebumps to appear.
Before I can say anything a group of girls seem to just descend upon us. I look over to Bill, expecting to see fear or even unhappiness but instead all I see is him smiling and hugging them. He knows them all by name and they seem to care for him as well.
“You look amazing Billa! Always trying to show us up every time.” One girl, I learn is named Trisha, exclaims as she hugs Bill close before running her hands down the lapels of his jacket.
“I still haven’t figured out how you do your hair!” Starla whines and then pouts as she points a finger at his spiky hair, causing the strand to move but go right back to how it was before.
“It’s all in having the right kind of hairspray.” He replies with a smirk and a wink before moving onto the next girl who embraced him and gave a small kiss on his cheek.
“It’s so good to see you again! I was disappointed when you didn’t show up at your parents merger party last month.” A obviously died blond hair girl says with an exaggerated pout on her lips as she fingered one of Bill’s many necklaces.
“Eh, I didn’t feel like going. Had better things to do than be frowned at.” Bill replies with a shrug before batting her hand away.
“Girls! I would like to introduce you to Tom Kaulitz. He has been staying at my house since the beginning of school.” He tells them as he waves a hand in my direction, bringing all of the girls’ eyes over to me. I just know a blush spread over my cheeks, I was not expecting that.
“Since when do you ever bring a date to one of these things?” a girl with curly brown hair and big eyelashes says as she comes over to me with a look in her eyes I wasn’t at all comfortable with.
“He is a good friend and is currently living with me, so I thought it would be fun to go together.” He tells her with a shrug and I can see the little downturn of his lips, Bill isn’t happy with this girl but isn’t doing anything to stop her.
“Hello Tom, I’m Bailey. It’s so nice to meet you.” She says as she looks at me like Bill did earlier at his house, but it didn’t invoke the same kind of feelings now.
“Hallo” I reply quietly, feeling accent taking over. Recently I have gotten very good with sounding more similar to Bill and not being so worried over what I’m saying. Bill always seems to enjoy when I slip into German and will even talk to me a little. It always makes me feel happy to know Bill is trying for me as much as I seem to be trying for him.
“Aww, Billa!” Bailey almost squeals as she latches onto my arm. Glancing over, I see the tight look on his face as he seems to be glaring daggers at this girl.
‘Why isn’t Bill doing anything? Shouldn’t he be flinging this girl off and claiming me as his or something?’ I think in a panic, not sure what I should do in this situation. I’ve never been placed in something like this where I had to worry before.
“Billa? Where are your parents?” Another girl says; coming up behind Bill and putting an arm around his shoulders before running a long, obviously fake bright red nail down his arm.
“I don’t know Savannah. I don’t actually get along with them, as you all well know.” Bill says with clear disdain in his voice as he shrugs the girl from off him before turning his back on all of us and walking away.
‘He is just leaving me with this group of girls?! Why? Did I do something? Doesn’t he see this girl on me?’ Are the only thoughts flitting around in my mind as I watch him walk away, never once turning back to look at me.
“Well it looks like Billa is off to find the champagne. This must be a new record for him. Not here even 15 minutes.” The girl says who is attached to me, what’s her name again?
‘It starts with a b….Babs? Maybe someone will say her name.’ I think to myself, shrug it off since I’m much more concerned that Bill has walked away without a word to me.
I look around the room trying to see if I can spot him. It can’t be that hard to find his hair!
I do see my parents standing together off to the side, they seem to be talking to a group of people. I send them a little wave which my father just nods back. He has never been an over affectionate person, but I have always known that he cares for me.
I feel a tug at my arm, looking down it’s the girl.
“Want to dance with me?” She asks with a bat of her eyelashes and a little pout on her lips. If I had met her before Bill, I probably would have said yes. Now…now everything is for Bill.
“Nein” I tell her tightly and start looking around for Bill to appear in my line of vision again.
*~*~*~*~*
‘I thought Tom and I came together, as each others dates. When Bailey latched onto him, he didn’t shake her off! I thought we were sort of together, at least in some sense of the word. Why didn’t Tom shake the girl off?!’
All I can see is when Bailey put her arms on Tom and he did nothing.
As soon as I see a tray of glasses moving around about our heads, I immediately snatch one. No one here cares who drink or what you drink. The one good thing about coming to these parties is the easy access to everything.
I throw that glass back and immediately replace it with another one in my hand. ‘I need to try and have at least three of these in my system before my parents find me. They are going to want to do the pony show, I just know it. The only purpose I have for coming to these parties is for them to show me around to their ‘friends’ and try network me. I’m just another means for them to climb further up the social chain.’
“Billy!” I hear from across the room, turning around I see it’s my mother who is making a bee line straight for me in her six inch black stilettos. ‘Damn!’ I think as I hurriedly throw this glass back and reach for my third one.
“You have just got to meet the Gosemens!” Mother starts babbling the moment her hands touch my shoulder, ‘I think these are the only times she actually touches me.’
“Of course Mother.” I say my required line before being lead around to the various people I am suppose to meet.
*~*~*~*
The moment I finally lay eyes on Bill is the same time his mother puts her hands on his shoulders.
“It looks like Billa’s mother finally found him. I was wondering how long he was going to be able to hide out before that happened.” A girl comments before shrugging her shoulders. It was one that Bill didn’t introduce me too.
“Ooh! Look Tom, champagne! The Robertson’s always serve the best at these parties!” The girl attached to me says as she eyes the tray moving around the room for a few moments before turning to look up at me, “Lets go get some!” She says while tugging on my arm, causing the jacket to wrinkle.
“Nein. Do not drink.” I simply tell her with frown on my lips as I shrug off her arm to fix my jacket to how Bill liked it.
‘I’ve never seen Bill drink before. In fact he never even mentioned the fact that he drinks alcohol at all.’ I think to myself, very much concerned about this unknown fact.
“That’s no fun Tom! How can you have fun if you don’t drink!” The girl whines as she puts her hands on her hips, I seem to have insulted her.
I just shrug, I don’t see any reason to explain myself to her. She hasn’t earned any right to know anything about me.
After a few moments that the only noise in our little group came from the classical music playing in the background and the inane chatter between a few of girls, I felt a light tap on my shoulder.
“Hallo Mutter” I say with a smile on my lips as I look her over. She looks gorgeous wearing a simple black strapless full length gown with a gold necklace around her neck that has a good sized ruby situated right in the middle of her chest. Mother has always loved the more understated looks rather than the over the top and flashy looks.
“Tomas, you look very nice tonight. Is it Bill’s influences?” She asks me with a small smirk on her upturned lips as she smooths a hand down the sleeve of my jacket.
“Ja. He took me shopping today. Picked everything out.” I tell her simply with a nod of my head, causing a few of my dreads to come tumbling in my face.
“English has improved a lot as well.” She comments with an approving nod as she swipes my dreads back into place.
“Ja! Bill has helped.” I respond with another nod, this one not as enthusiastic so as to not cause my dreads to come forward again.
“I can see. We are both very proud and I also know your school work has improved remarkably since coming to the States. We plane on coming over sometime soon to discuss what you are planning on doing.” She tells me and those words causes me to almost want to cry but then I remember that I have already cried enough to last me a lifetime. I haven’t cried once since Bill came into my life.
“Alright.” I simply say around the lump forming in my throat.
“Where is Bill?” She asks after looking around and obviously not seeing the easily to find person.
I just shrug, “His Mutter had him last I saw.” I tell her simply as I look down, not wanting her to see the disappointment that I’m sure is evident in my eyes.
“I see.” She simply says before snorting, turning around, and then walking away as elegantly as I’m sure she came over here. Mother has always had a way of walking that is almost like she glides everywhere she goes.
“That was your Mother?!” The girl says breathlessly, her eyes as wide as saucers as she continues to stare after my mother.
“Ja.” I simply say with a nod of acknowledgement. I saw no sense in denying the truth.
“Wow! She is so pretty!” The girl responds just as breathlessly. I just have to snort at her response. My mother is not just pretty, she is gorgeous. She makes the world turn on its axis, without her the world I’m sure would end.
*~*~*~*
‘God! When is this torture going to end?! All of this smiling and nodding will give me whiplash.’ I think to myself as Mother directs me to yet another group of people who are just dying to meet me. I highly doubt that but I just don’t feel like arguing at the moment.
Looking around, Tom is still with the group I had left him with earlier when I went to get a couple glasses. Bailey is still standing right by him, although it does seem that her hands aren’t all over him but her eyes never seem to stray far from him.
‘I can’t really put up a fight if Tom starts seeing her. She is from a much better background and not to mention she goes to one of the best boarding schools in the Western Hemisphere. I should have figured that Tom would meet someone better sooner or later.’
“Billy!” Mother’s voice has always had the ability to knock me out of any thinking I am doing.
I turn around to see her motioning me towards yet another group of people.
*~*~*~*
Chapter 14B
Glancing over at my alarm clock that’s on the other side of Tom’s sleeping form, it glares back 2:00 AM. It was as if it was mocking me. I plopped back down onto my pillow; Tom just made a grunt noise and then nuzzled closer to me. I enjoy watching Tom sleep, he always looks so innocent and carefree.
I toss and turn a few more times before looking back over at the alarm clock, 2:15 AM.
“Damnit!” I mutter quietly before I scoot out of bed, trying not to wake Tom up and pad over to the closed bedroom door. I glance over my shoulder to see Tom having rolled over to my spot, nuzzling my pillow. A smile comes over my lips, something that I have realized I do a lot more especially towards Tom.
“I need to do something or else I’m going to spontaneously combust!” I mutter to myself as I walk out of my bedroom, closing the door behind me before going to my study. I’ll probably see about going onto my blog, haven’t been on that since Gustav first arrived.
~*~*~*~
Since sleeping with Bill, I have had some of the best sleep that I can remember ever having. I just always feel much more rested and waking up next to a warm body isn’t bad either.
But this morning I immediately know something is off as soon as I open my eyes. First, it’s still dark outside. I know this because usually there are a few rays of light along the ceiling. Secondly, I don’t feel a warm body next to me. I lift myself up to look around the bed and notice that in fact I am sleeping in Bill’s spot and there is no Bill.
As I sit up in the suddenly cold bed, I realize there is no Bill in this room at all. Which is very strange as his bedroom is one of his favorite rooms in the entire house. He tries to spend as much time in this room as he can. Never figured out why, but I don’t really care either. I enjoy being wherever Bill is.
I managed to get up out of the bed and out of the room, remembering to close the door behind me. I learned very early on that Bill has a thing against open doors. If Bill realizes he is in a room that has a door open and he isn’t able to close it, he will watch it like a bird does its prey. It was amusing to watch the first couple times at school, but after awhile I also notice that he will start to get highly agitated.
I look down the hall, of course there aren’t any actual lights on in any of them, Bill also seems to have a weird aversion to having a lot of lights on. It would almost seem like he is a vampire or something absurd like that, but I know he isn’t.
‘He’ll probably go to his study and wile away time on his laptop.’ I think to myself as I try to figure out Bill’s bizarre habits and how they fit into this current situation. It seems that when Bill isn’t sure of something or just generally nervous he automatically goes into his study. I’ve come to the conclusion that he sees his laptop as a sort of security blanket. I have a security blanket as well, my guitar. It has been with me through pretty much everything and I can always relax myself by just strumming out a few notes.
I open the door of the study. Sure enough Bill is sitting at the laptop still dressed in his sleep clothes. The only light on in the entire room is coming from the computer.
“What time is it?” I ask quietly, not wanting to startle him as I go on into the room and shut the door behind me quietly.
“Hmm?” He mutters as he turns around to look at me. I can see that he probably hasn’t slept at all tonight with bags forming underneath his gorgeous eyes and the frown on his lips.
“What time is it?” I repeat as I stand behind him, putting my hands on his shoulders. They are a tight knot under my hands, shaking a little from the strain.
“Oh, it’s 4:45 AM.” He replies tiredly as he leans back against me. I slip my hands down to wrap around his chest and rest my head on top of his head.
“Why you up?” I ask and know not to ask him to come back to bed, it wouldn’t do any good. When Bill gets wound up, the only thing that can be done is to just be there and help him through it if he’ll let you. He has this weird sense of independence and doesn’t like having anyone helping him.
“I….I just couldn’t sleep. So many things are going on that I just can’t settle.” He says with some difficulty but doesn’t move out of my embrace, so that is something.
“Come, go to couch.” I tell him with a nudge of my chin as I let him go and walk over to the comfortable, leather couch that is along the wall. All of Bill’s personal rooms are about comfort and style. It’s rather amusing that Bill is probably one of the most stylish people I know but doesn’t brag about any of it. He is so quiet you could forget he is there at times.
Bill doesn’t say anything, just closes the laptop putting the room into total darkness. “I’ll get a light.” He mutters quietly before I hear him pad softly on the wooden floors to a corner that has a tall floor lamp.
The sudden flood of light partially blinds me for a moment. Bill comes over and settles right next to me on the couch and lying his head down on my shoulder.
“Talk?” I ask him simply, knowing that if Bill doesn’t want to talk then he would stay clammed up and nothing could force him to say anything.
“Tom…this Holiday Party is the bane of my existence…well one of them at any rate. It’s so pointless.” He mutters quietly and with his mouth being so close to my ear, I am having to fight against the shivers crawling up and down my spine.
“I be with you.” I tell him as I wrap my arms around him, pulling him as close to my body as I can. I can feel his shivers and know he is generally scared about going.
“Thank You.” He simply says as he turns his face toward me and plants a simple closed mouth kiss to my cheek. That spot is going to be burning a brand into my skin all day now; it always does when he kisses me.
“Lets just lay here for a little while before we have to worry about getting ready.” He says after a few moments of silence passes. Bill stretches his legs out on the other end of the couch as he lays against me, forcing my body to lay down as well. I don’t complain as I generally enjoy having Bill in my arms and knowing he is safe.
*~*~*~*~*
Tom and I doze on the couch for a few hours, when I finally manage to glance over at the illuminated clock on my desk it shows 7:37 AM. I lay back down by Tom, he is so warm and comfortable that I just don’t want to move or go anywhere but here. I get a weird sense of happiness knowing that I get to sleep next to Tom every night.
I just lay here listening to Tom’s steady heartbeat, not moving or really thinking about anything other than Tom.
He seems to sense that I’m awake, because when I turn my head over to where I can see his face, I see him just simply looking at me with this soft look on his face and a small upturn of his lips.
“Morning.” I say to him softly before inching up a little and giving him a peak on his lips.
“Morgen.” He replies as he wipes his tongue across his lips before tightening his arms around me and pulling me closer to him. I have noticed that he enjoys keeping me as close to him as possible. I’m not complaining, he has a wonderful body to be kept close to.
“We really need to get up. I still have to figure out what I’m wearing plus we both need to take a shower. Neither of us took one yesterday and I know we gotta be stinking.” I tell him finally as I place my ear back over his chest. His heartbeat is a piece of music I could never get tired of listening to.
“Ja, I know.” He mutters as he rubs his hands up and down my arms before settling them on my back. Tom’s touch always wakens me up.
“Come on stinky! Let’s get going!” I say with a grin as I get off of him, immediately missing his warmth. I put out a hand for him to grab, knowing his back is probably killing him from having me lay on top of him for so long.
He grabs it and wraps his hand around mine, pulling me back down on top of him.
“Not yet.” He mutters in my ear before wrapping his arms back around me, I swear he has to be part vine or something but I’m not going to complain.
“Alright” I reply with a sigh and a smile on my lips. Looking up at him, he is just looking down at me with that same soft expression on his face. I give him a wide grin before laying my head back down, this time I’m right in the crook of Tom’s neck. I can feel one of his dreadlocks trying to tickle my nose, but he smells so good that I just don’t care.
I can feel him making patterns up and down my back; it just makes me go boneless on top of him.
“I’ve got to be heavy on top of you.” I mutter to him quietly, not sure if I want him to hear me or not. I know I have many insecurities but I don’t know if I want him to know about them.
I can feel him suddenly starting to shake underneath me, I look up quickly wanting to make sure he is okay. Instead I see him trying to suppress a laugh as he continues to look down at me.
“What?!” I ask indignantly, not knowing what I could have possibly said that would result in his laughter but I do know it has to be about me.
“Bill, you hardly weigh anything! There is no way you could possibly be heavy.” He says as he pulls me closer to him as I try to get off.
What he says simply blows my mind. I know I’m skinner than most people but I’m not a waif either.
“Tom, you’re just saying that.” I say to him, not wanting him to try and pacify me. I am not one of those types of people that need to have my self-confidence raised.
“No I am not! You are not heavy in the least.” He tells me seriously as he brings one of his hands up to my face, strokes my cheek before rubbing his thumb over my lower lip. “You are gorgeous.” He finally says after he stares intently at me.
I am just blown away that someone could see me as gorgeous. Sure I know I am pretty, at least when I have my make-up on but no one has every said anything beyond that.
I have to move, get away for a few moments before he sees me start welling up with tears. I don’t think I could handle that if he saw me crying.
Tom goes back to making patterns over my back, but I get up and refuse to allow him to pull me back down. I bat his hands away as I hurry out of the door, closing it behind me before making my way to my bedroom. Ignoring his calls for me to come back.
~*~*~*~
I should have known not to push it with Bill. Now he has locked himself into his bedroom and won’t open the door to anyone until he is good and ready.
He is gorgeous and I am constantly left breathless by just how gorgeous he really is. It seems no one has ever told him, which does blow my mind. I don’t think he even notices any of the lust filled stares he gets at school from both girls and boys.
I rub a hand over my face before sitting up on the couch. Looking over at the clock on the desk, it shows 8:15 AM.
“Might as well go and take a shower.” I tell myself as I get up and walk over to the closed door.
‘Maybe after I take a shower, I’ll be able to get Bill’s bedroom door open.’ I think to myself as I open the door and then close it behind myself. I can hear music coming from Bill’s room; it’s that one female singer that he has a tendency to listen to a lot.
~*~*~*~
I manage to relax myself under the warm spray of the shower, Maria Mena’s voice surrounding me and blocking everything else out.
‘He thinks I’m gorgeous.’ Keeps cycling around in my head and no matter how hard I try to push it away, it keeps coming back.
How could I possibly be gorgeous? I dress weird. I like wearing make-up. I refuse to fit in with everybody else. All of this has always pushed people away, not bring anyone closer.
Nothing seems to want to make sense anymore, at least since Tom came into the picture.
I turn off the shower, feeling the warmth of the water turning colder the longer I stay under the spray. Reaching over the top of the shower stall and grab my towel hanging just outside the sliding door.
I turn my attention to what I’m going to wear tonight. There are a few outfits I could wear, but I’m not sure about them yet.
With the towel wrapped around my waist and my hair dripping down my back, I open the bathroom door where a sudden rush of cold air seems to just surround me. Shivers rake through my body and goose bumps coming up over my arms and legs.
I walk over to my closet full of clothes, open the double doors to be confronted with racks upon racks of clothes. Everything is in order and easy to find. Now it’s just the matter of deciding what I’m going to wear. Of course I have to be suitably attired or else I’ll have to deal with Mother’s nagging and the disapproving looks from Rosa. The looks from Rosa are what I can’t deal with, that is one of the sure ways for me to feel guilty.
The towel still wrapped snugly around my waist; I walk into the fully packed closet and head straight to the back where my more formal outfits are kept. Looking at one that has a matching hat above it on the rack, “I could wear this but I think I wore it to Starla’s birthday bash last year.” I say out loud as I try and remember the last time I wore each of them.
Apparently all of them have been worn within the past year and half now that I’m thinking about it. “Damn! I have to go shopping!” I finally admit to myself in a panic as I rush out, grabbing a pair of sweat pants and a hoodie. I hurriedly get dress before I go out into the hallway, closing my bedroom door behind me only to be confronted with Tom’s partially open bedroom door.
‘I can’t just leave without telling Tom something….I wonder if I could just sneak in and leave him a note….But what if he doesn’t have anything to wear, all I’ve seen him wear are jeans, sweat pants, and those horrendously baggy shirts.’ I start thinking to myself, my hand going to my still partially wet hair to rub at it in thought.
“Bill?” breaks through my train of thought and causes me to look up. Standing in front of me is Tom in a pair of his baggy jeans but still shirtless. I can see drops of water trailing down his chest from his still soaking wet dreads.
“Yea?” I finally push out of my now dry mouth. ‘God he is hot!’ is all that I can think about now.
“You okay?” he asks with a note of concern in his voice….oh yea!
“Umm…do you need to go shopping for clothes?” I ask him after I cough through the lump trying to settle itself in my throat.
“Nein…have clothes to wear.” He tells me with a raised eyebrow before opening the door further in an obvious invitation for me to come in. I sigh before walking in and closing the door behind me. I don’t know what to say or what he expects me to say.
Looking up at him, I see him still looking at me. Our eyes connect and before I could worry about anything else, he closes the 2 feet between us and takes me into his arms.
I can tell he just got out of the shower because he is still warm and slightly damp, getting my hoodie slightly damp as well.
“Bill” he breaths out as he warms both of his hands underneath my hoodie. I allow myself to take comfort from him, pushing aside my previous worries.
“Where you going?” Tom asks me, pulling away from the tight hug he had pulled me into.
“I have to go shopping! I don’t have an outfit I can wear tonight!” I tell him as I ruffle my hair, trying to think what else I might have to get while going out. It’s early enough that I should be able to get everything taken care of in enough time.
“Ahhs,” Tom replies as he leans down to grab a shirt from off his bed and slips it over his head.
“Lets go” He says with a nod of his head as he motions to the door, waiting on me.
“What are you going to wear?” I ask suspiciously, not trusting him to dress correctly but knowing Tom he wouldn’t care.
“Got clothes.” He replies with a shrug, gesturing towards the door again.
“I know” I tell him with a frown before going past him and to the open closet. Turning on the light, I’m greeted with jeans scattered on the floor and a few shirts hanging up. I inch myself further in and I notice more shirts laying on the floor mixed with jeans, more than enough caps to go with every outfit he owns.
“Tom….I see plenty of jeans but where are your really nice clothes?” I yell out of the closet only to get scared enough to let a small ‘eep’ when he says, “towards back with your clothes.” Right by my ear. I glance behind me and see him straight out smirking at me.
I huff out a sigh before making my way towards the very back. I have to actually walk on top of his clothes just to make it towards the very back.
His nice clothes are a pair of equally baggy pair of black pants and an equally baggy white long-sleeve dress shirt with a matching white and black cap above it. All I could do was gape.
“This is it?” I ask slightly horrified but not wanting to straight tell him so.
“Ja” He tells me with a nod of his head as he continues to smirk, he just has to know I won’t approve.
“We’re both going shopping, now!” I tell him firmly as I turn around, only to bump right into him. I look down at him and see that Tom has his head cocked to the side slightly as if he is trying to figure me out.
“Come!” I tell him determinedly as he push him out of the closet, closing the door behind me.
“We have a lot that needs to be done and not as much time as I would like.” I mutter as head out of bedroom, going towards mine to get my car keys and wallet.
~*~*~*~
We spent over 5 hours shopping for this Holiday party tonight. I don’t think I’ve ever seen Bill actually care so much about anything as he does this party. He put so much thought into each of our outfits. I still don’t see what’s wrong with the outfit hanging in the closet but he seemed absolutely horrified by it.
Looking down at the bags Bill put on my bed before rushing out and into his own room. He bought me more than just one outfit for tonight; there are a few different ones. Told me he didn’t want to have worry again about me not having the appropriate clothing again. He sounding almost like his mother did the other night. It’s rather disturbing how much Bill seems to hate his parents but then tries to go to such lengths to please them at the same time.
Opening the first bag, shirts. All of them are long-sleeved dress shirts. Bill told me I should wear the white shirt tonight, it would look similar to what he is suppose to be wearing. I still have no clue what he decided on wearing. Bill tried on so many clothes, a few he didn’t even show me.
Pulling out the white shirt and setting it aside. I’ll go with what he suggested. It would look really amazing if we seemed to match, almost as if we were going as a couple. Our relationship hasn’t been defined yet and I’m okay with that as I know the moment that I try and push things any further, Bill could be lost to me. He is just so shut-off to allowing anyone close to him, that getting as far as I have has been about patience and keeping my own distance.
The next bag has pants, these are the one thing we actually argued about in the store. He was bound and determined to get me into some tight monstrosities that would probably cut off blood flow to vital areas. I couldn’t have that! We managed to come to an agreement that I would have matching pants and jackets but the shirts would be more fitting. It seemed to make him happy even though he would still scowl at the pants from time to time. I would look over to the sales lady helping us and she would always have this little smile on her face.
Took the black pants out and laid the out next the shirt. It seems the classic black and white looks best for me, something about my skin tone and hair. I didn’t pay much attention to what Bill was babbling about. Just took the clothes and tried them on, anything to make him happy and hopefully put my blunder from this morning out of his mind. He has enough to stress on him at the moment, don’t want to add myself to it.
I take the littlest bag and dump it out on my bed; the contents are just some thin headbands. Bill informed me that since this part was formal, it wouldn’t look right for me to wear one of my typical caps. So he went and bought me these headbands, all of them are black but I have a suspicion that these were bought from a girl store. He told me to wear my dreads up with these, after I waxed them up and made them overall neater. I have certainly grabbed onto the idea that he is very firm on me being presentable. Almost has b being a little nervous of what I should expect from tonight.
~*~*~*~
It took me longer than I thought it would be to shop, but I also didn’t realize how much of a pain Tom can be either. He still looks amazing in clothes that actually fit him; at least he is willing to wear more fitted shirts. He has such an amazing body that I do want to show him off a little.
Looking into the mirror, I know I’m wearing more than I normally look but I kind of want to shock my parents and look nice for Tom. I fluff my hair a little more, I don’t think I even have anymore hairspray left in the house.
Glancing over at my alarm clock, it shows that I have run out of time and need to be leaving the house with Tom in tow. I grab my cellphone from off my dresser along with my wallet and car keys. I informed my parents earlier that I was driving to the party and not taking a limo like Mother wanted me to. I just refuse to be anymore at their whims than I already am. This way, I can leave whenever I want to without having to go through my parents to allow it.
After looking at the mirror another time, messing with a few of my necklaces one more time, I finally walk out of my room closing the door behind me.
~*~*~*~
Rosa seems to excited about me and Bill going to this party together. I think it has more on it being Bill and I going together than anything else. She has a camera in hand as she waits with me by the front door, waiting on Bill to finally make his way down. I’ve been ready for over an hour.
The Trumper’s left awhile ago, both looking very festive with Mrs. Trumper wearing a deep red dress with a black shawl over her shoulders and some kind of greenery in her hair. Mr. Trumper was just wearing a black suite but was wearing a red, green, and gold tie. Mrs. Trumper didn’t seem to impressed with it if her scowling was anything to go by every time to looked over at him.
Rosa made some noise that caused me too look up. Looking up, I swear I must have lost the ability to breathe. Bill looks just utterly amazing! His hair is actually standing up, it must be defying gravity. I never got to see what Bill decided on wearing tonight but I never would have thought he could look this amazing.
Wearing a pair of fitted charcoal pants that leaves nothing to the imagination, white long-sleeve shirt that is similar to mine but has this puffy lace stuff on the chest and comes down to a deep v. He is also wearing a matching charcoal suite jacket that is just as fitted as the pants. The jewelry! I have come to realize that Bill likes jewelry but I just never realized how much. He must have at least 5 or so different necklaces that hang at different lengths and rings on every finger.
Bill just sparkles and shines. He’ll probably even outshine the giant Christmas tree I’m sure the Robertson’s will have.
*~*~*~*
Walking down the stairs, where I knew Tom and Rosa would be waiting was somewhat nerve racking. I’m mostly worried about Tom’s expression. Was I dressed up too much for Tom’s taste?
The look on Tom’s face instantly calmed me. He was honestly struck silent. That’s not a hard feat to accomplish with him, but that look on his face just made everything fall into place for me. He was checking me out! I don’t think I’ve ever had someone actually check me out and like what their seeing.
Tom was certainly not bad looking either. He has his dreads neatly put up on top of his head with one of the headbands that I bought him. They look so nice and it was almost as if they were streaming down his back, instead of a jumbling up bee’s hive like usual. I couldn’t get him to budge an ounce on his damn baggy pants, something about not want his favorite parts to fall off, but I did manage to get him into a nice shirt.
He has on some nice, plain black baggy pants. Their not as baggy as he usually wears but still big enough he wouldn’t complain. His chest! I can see his chest with how fitted the white dress shirt is underneath the open baggy jacket that matches his pants. Looking down at his feet, Tom’s wearing a pair of black and white sneakers. I just roll my eyes and I can hear Rosa snickering off to the side.
Looking over at her, she has this small smile on his lips and an equally soft look in her eyes. I can tell that she’s so happy. Then she pulls up the camera and motions for us to stand close together. I feel Tom put an arm around my waist, pulling me flush up against him right before the flash goes off.
“You two have fun.” Rosa tells us with a grin as she opens the door, shooing us out with her hands.
*~*~*~*
Bill had insisted that he drive us to the party. I’m not sure if it was more out of rebellion towards his parents or if their was more to it. I don’t really mind either way and I never heard anything from my parents in regards to the party, even though I’m pretty sure they will be there.
He sang along to every song that came on, later I realized that it was some CD playing he had made especially for tonight. All of the songs are some kind of Holiday songs remixed, a few I don’t understand but they made Bill smile and laugh. Something I have just recently seen him do a lot more.
Bill turns off onto a narrow road that has street lights dotted along the way, the further we go the brighter it gets up ahead. Then suddenly as if a giant sheet was thrown off a large house appears before us. It’s more like a small castle! Bill pulls up right in front of the entrance were there valets waiting to take the care for us.
Getting out, I see a few people standing around all nicely dressed along with cars and limos nicely parked. I can’t help but stare at everything around. I haven’t seen anything this amazing since long before I cam to the States.
“Come on Tom!” Bill says in excitement as he grabs my upper arm and drags me through the entrance.
“Amazing.” I mutter to Bill as I continue to look around, everything is in Ivory or Ebony. The Robertson’s seem to have a fascination with elephants and lions, they are placed all over the place as decorations or wall art or fixtures.
“Yea it is. They are from very old money and they like to flaunt it but they got even richer by playing the stock market. There is some thought that they rigid it in their favor, but nothing was ever proven and probably swept under the rug.” Bill whispers to me in my ear, sending shivers down my spine and causing goosebumps to appear.
Before I can say anything a group of girls seem to just descend upon us. I look over to Bill, expecting to see fear or even unhappiness but instead all I see is him smiling and hugging them. He knows them all by name and they seem to care for him as well.
“You look amazing Billa! Always trying to show us up every time.” One girl, I learn is named Trisha, exclaims as she hugs Bill close before running her hands down the lapels of his jacket.
“I still haven’t figured out how you do your hair!” Starla whines and then pouts as she points a finger at his spiky hair, causing the strand to move but go right back to how it was before.
“It’s all in having the right kind of hairspray.” He replies with a smirk and a wink before moving onto the next girl who embraced him and gave a small kiss on his cheek.
“It’s so good to see you again! I was disappointed when you didn’t show up at your parents merger party last month.” A obviously died blond hair girl says with an exaggerated pout on her lips as she fingered one of Bill’s many necklaces.
“Eh, I didn’t feel like going. Had better things to do than be frowned at.” Bill replies with a shrug before batting her hand away.
“Girls! I would like to introduce you to Tom Kaulitz. He has been staying at my house since the beginning of school.” He tells them as he waves a hand in my direction, bringing all of the girls’ eyes over to me. I just know a blush spread over my cheeks, I was not expecting that.
“Since when do you ever bring a date to one of these things?” a girl with curly brown hair and big eyelashes says as she comes over to me with a look in her eyes I wasn’t at all comfortable with.
“He is a good friend and is currently living with me, so I thought it would be fun to go together.” He tells her with a shrug and I can see the little downturn of his lips, Bill isn’t happy with this girl but isn’t doing anything to stop her.
“Hello Tom, I’m Bailey. It’s so nice to meet you.” She says as she looks at me like Bill did earlier at his house, but it didn’t invoke the same kind of feelings now.
“Hallo” I reply quietly, feeling accent taking over. Recently I have gotten very good with sounding more similar to Bill and not being so worried over what I’m saying. Bill always seems to enjoy when I slip into German and will even talk to me a little. It always makes me feel happy to know Bill is trying for me as much as I seem to be trying for him.
“Aww, Billa!” Bailey almost squeals as she latches onto my arm. Glancing over, I see the tight look on his face as he seems to be glaring daggers at this girl.
‘Why isn’t Bill doing anything? Shouldn’t he be flinging this girl off and claiming me as his or something?’ I think in a panic, not sure what I should do in this situation. I’ve never been placed in something like this where I had to worry before.
“Billa? Where are your parents?” Another girl says; coming up behind Bill and putting an arm around his shoulders before running a long, obviously fake bright red nail down his arm.
“I don’t know Savannah. I don’t actually get along with them, as you all well know.” Bill says with clear disdain in his voice as he shrugs the girl from off him before turning his back on all of us and walking away.
‘He is just leaving me with this group of girls?! Why? Did I do something? Doesn’t he see this girl on me?’ Are the only thoughts flitting around in my mind as I watch him walk away, never once turning back to look at me.
“Well it looks like Billa is off to find the champagne. This must be a new record for him. Not here even 15 minutes.” The girl says who is attached to me, what’s her name again?
‘It starts with a b….Babs? Maybe someone will say her name.’ I think to myself, shrug it off since I’m much more concerned that Bill has walked away without a word to me.
I look around the room trying to see if I can spot him. It can’t be that hard to find his hair!
I do see my parents standing together off to the side, they seem to be talking to a group of people. I send them a little wave which my father just nods back. He has never been an over affectionate person, but I have always known that he cares for me.
I feel a tug at my arm, looking down it’s the girl.
“Want to dance with me?” She asks with a bat of her eyelashes and a little pout on her lips. If I had met her before Bill, I probably would have said yes. Now…now everything is for Bill.
“Nein” I tell her tightly and start looking around for Bill to appear in my line of vision again.
*~*~*~*~*
‘I thought Tom and I came together, as each others dates. When Bailey latched onto him, he didn’t shake her off! I thought we were sort of together, at least in some sense of the word. Why didn’t Tom shake the girl off?!’
All I can see is when Bailey put her arms on Tom and he did nothing.
As soon as I see a tray of glasses moving around about our heads, I immediately snatch one. No one here cares who drink or what you drink. The one good thing about coming to these parties is the easy access to everything.
I throw that glass back and immediately replace it with another one in my hand. ‘I need to try and have at least three of these in my system before my parents find me. They are going to want to do the pony show, I just know it. The only purpose I have for coming to these parties is for them to show me around to their ‘friends’ and try network me. I’m just another means for them to climb further up the social chain.’
“Billy!” I hear from across the room, turning around I see it’s my mother who is making a bee line straight for me in her six inch black stilettos. ‘Damn!’ I think as I hurriedly throw this glass back and reach for my third one.
“You have just got to meet the Gosemens!” Mother starts babbling the moment her hands touch my shoulder, ‘I think these are the only times she actually touches me.’
“Of course Mother.” I say my required line before being lead around to the various people I am suppose to meet.
*~*~*~*
The moment I finally lay eyes on Bill is the same time his mother puts her hands on his shoulders.
“It looks like Billa’s mother finally found him. I was wondering how long he was going to be able to hide out before that happened.” A girl comments before shrugging her shoulders. It was one that Bill didn’t introduce me too.
“Ooh! Look Tom, champagne! The Robertson’s always serve the best at these parties!” The girl attached to me says as she eyes the tray moving around the room for a few moments before turning to look up at me, “Lets go get some!” She says while tugging on my arm, causing the jacket to wrinkle.
“Nein. Do not drink.” I simply tell her with frown on my lips as I shrug off her arm to fix my jacket to how Bill liked it.
‘I’ve never seen Bill drink before. In fact he never even mentioned the fact that he drinks alcohol at all.’ I think to myself, very much concerned about this unknown fact.
“That’s no fun Tom! How can you have fun if you don’t drink!” The girl whines as she puts her hands on her hips, I seem to have insulted her.
I just shrug, I don’t see any reason to explain myself to her. She hasn’t earned any right to know anything about me.
After a few moments that the only noise in our little group came from the classical music playing in the background and the inane chatter between a few of girls, I felt a light tap on my shoulder.
“Hallo Mutter” I say with a smile on my lips as I look her over. She looks gorgeous wearing a simple black strapless full length gown with a gold necklace around her neck that has a good sized ruby situated right in the middle of her chest. Mother has always loved the more understated looks rather than the over the top and flashy looks.
“Tomas, you look very nice tonight. Is it Bill’s influences?” She asks me with a small smirk on her upturned lips as she smooths a hand down the sleeve of my jacket.
“Ja. He took me shopping today. Picked everything out.” I tell her simply with a nod of my head, causing a few of my dreads to come tumbling in my face.
“English has improved a lot as well.” She comments with an approving nod as she swipes my dreads back into place.
“Ja! Bill has helped.” I respond with another nod, this one not as enthusiastic so as to not cause my dreads to come forward again.
“I can see. We are both very proud and I also know your school work has improved remarkably since coming to the States. We plane on coming over sometime soon to discuss what you are planning on doing.” She tells me and those words causes me to almost want to cry but then I remember that I have already cried enough to last me a lifetime. I haven’t cried once since Bill came into my life.
“Alright.” I simply say around the lump forming in my throat.
“Where is Bill?” She asks after looking around and obviously not seeing the easily to find person.
I just shrug, “His Mutter had him last I saw.” I tell her simply as I look down, not wanting her to see the disappointment that I’m sure is evident in my eyes.
“I see.” She simply says before snorting, turning around, and then walking away as elegantly as I’m sure she came over here. Mother has always had a way of walking that is almost like she glides everywhere she goes.
“That was your Mother?!” The girl says breathlessly, her eyes as wide as saucers as she continues to stare after my mother.
“Ja.” I simply say with a nod of acknowledgement. I saw no sense in denying the truth.
“Wow! She is so pretty!” The girl responds just as breathlessly. I just have to snort at her response. My mother is not just pretty, she is gorgeous. She makes the world turn on its axis, without her the world I’m sure would end.
*~*~*~*
‘God! When is this torture going to end?! All of this smiling and nodding will give me whiplash.’ I think to myself as Mother directs me to yet another group of people who are just dying to meet me. I highly doubt that but I just don’t feel like arguing at the moment.
Looking around, Tom is still with the group I had left him with earlier when I went to get a couple glasses. Bailey is still standing right by him, although it does seem that her hands aren’t all over him but her eyes never seem to stray far from him.
‘I can’t really put up a fight if Tom starts seeing her. She is from a much better background and not to mention she goes to one of the best boarding schools in the Western Hemisphere. I should have figured that Tom would meet someone better sooner or later.’
“Billy!” Mother’s voice has always had the ability to knock me out of any thinking I am doing.
I turn around to see her motioning me towards yet another group of people.
*~*~*~*
Chapter 14B