hmmm
I'm just so...paranoid....
I think about it more and more and more and it just bothers me more. But I'm so terrible with confrontation so I just choose to keep it inside and not let people know how I feel. How they are making me feel.
I feel so alienated half the time, and it sucks. I know that sometimes this is due to me overthinking things. But the other times...It's due to me being forgotten and left behind. And I'm not talking about going out, cuz when I'm old enough I'll do the same. It's just all the time it feels. I can't escape it being thrown in my face, I can't escape being ignored, I can't get away from the one word retorts. I just want to be wanted, you know? I want to be kept in mind like I do for others all the time. Am I too giving? Too forgiving? I know for a fact I'm too wimpy to say shit about it. And this will probably come back and bite me in the butt....And I really hope it doesn't. I just want to feel better about things. Maybe that will never happen, who knows. This week has been good so far though, so maybe it will stay that way.
This weekend is a baby shower and I'm excited. I love baby things! I just have to get the present still and am unsure what to get. Hmmm, we shall see.
And Friday is Kevy's birthday party, so that will be fun! Hopefully lots of people can make it, cuz I'm sure he'd love a fun night of showing off all his fun new toys!! I won't broadcast his age because I'm sure he'd kill me ;)
Kasey is enjoying his new job as a bouncer at Second Floor! He got to kick out a guy who got rough with his friend who is the manager of the place (and my personal trainer), so that just kind of sealed the deal! He just loves looking tough and having some sort of authority :)
Time for class I guess...
I think about it more and more and more and it just bothers me more. But I'm so terrible with confrontation so I just choose to keep it inside and not let people know how I feel. How they are making me feel.
I feel so alienated half the time, and it sucks. I know that sometimes this is due to me overthinking things. But the other times...It's due to me being forgotten and left behind. And I'm not talking about going out, cuz when I'm old enough I'll do the same. It's just all the time it feels. I can't escape it being thrown in my face, I can't escape being ignored, I can't get away from the one word retorts. I just want to be wanted, you know? I want to be kept in mind like I do for others all the time. Am I too giving? Too forgiving? I know for a fact I'm too wimpy to say shit about it. And this will probably come back and bite me in the butt....And I really hope it doesn't. I just want to feel better about things. Maybe that will never happen, who knows. This week has been good so far though, so maybe it will stay that way.
This weekend is a baby shower and I'm excited. I love baby things! I just have to get the present still and am unsure what to get. Hmmm, we shall see.
And Friday is Kevy's birthday party, so that will be fun! Hopefully lots of people can make it, cuz I'm sure he'd love a fun night of showing off all his fun new toys!! I won't broadcast his age because I'm sure he'd kill me ;)
Kasey is enjoying his new job as a bouncer at Second Floor! He got to kick out a guy who got rough with his friend who is the manager of the place (and my personal trainer), so that just kind of sealed the deal! He just loves looking tough and having some sort of authority :)
Time for class I guess...