good/emo mood..at the same time..lol..

Sep 11, 2006 19:23


right now...im in a pretty good mood...but also..slightly unsure..i mean..i just went out to eat with my friend from work..and its raining (i love the rain..lol) and im listening to RENT songs...but something inside me says its time to cry...why..idk..its odd...i wanna snuggle with someone right now...we went to this awesome lil place on the west side of town called JB's Cafe..it was sooo cute! like one of those places you could go on a first date..lol..so now im like...aw..i wanna be with someone snugling or sumfin...watchin a movie, drinkin some coffee (or hot chocolate..im fine with both..lol)

on that note..i lied..i didnt wait to find someone...ive had a crush on this guy at work..since before i even started workin there..lol..hes so sweet..and we went out on a date-ish thing thursday nite...we had such a good time...we talked about things last nite..and decided that we werent gonna be anything serious cuz of work and not wanting rumors getting started...but im still not sure..i dont want something to happen like with ian (ugh...) but i want someone, like i said, who i can just be with...who cares for me....he told me that hes done with playin games (hes 25..the big kicker..lol..) but im still scared...its not his fault...i just have this thing inside of me from past relationships that says "boys are cheats and liars! and will do anything to get what they want" idk

i think i will be fine doin this though..cuz outside of work we are "seeing each other" (which of course is part of the reason im scared) work is work i know...im not gonna pull him over to the side say "hey babe!" and plant a huge on him..thats just not proffesional in any way, shape or form...but outside of work..hes all mine..muahahaha..lol

well..im off...luv you all mucho!!

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