Have a fic too.
I wrote this for borntokickass. Thanks for being creepy and getting me the extra userpics right when I needed them, weirdo.
…but seriously. Thanks.
Title: Those Who Stalk Together Do Other Things Like Go Out To Lunch Together
Featuring: Kevin, Saeki, Shishido, and me (others mentioned)
Rated: PG
Length: About 950 words.
"Shishido's about to knock on the door, over," said Kevin into his walkie-talkie.
"I see that, Agent Yellow," came the reply only seconds later. "Echizen's heard the knock! I repeat, Echizen's heard the knock! He's heading downstairs and will open the door in three, two, one… over!"
"It sounds weird when you say 'over' after that. And I hate the name Agent Yellow - don't call me that, over!" complained Kevin, who pressed that random button they have on walkie-talkies that's supposed to be used for Morse Code but no one ever uses it for that. Kevin liked to use it for annoying people.
On the other side of the street where he was perched in the Echizens' backyard tree, Saeki winced and held the walkie-talkie farther away from his ear. "Little jerk…" he muttered.
Finally the long beep stopped and Saeki said, "You're a bit of an asshole, aren't you, over?"
"You're a creepy stalking loser, over!" came the reply. Saeki rolled his eyes. Look who was talking, after all.
"Echizen's just re-entered his room, and Shishido's in tow, over," said Saeki, back to business.
He wondered what on earth Shishido and Echizen were planning. He'd read a thread in Echizen's journal and Shishido had mentioned "collaborating" with Echizen, but that could've meant any number of things, from fic to drawing to making out (he really really really really really hoped it wasn't the latter).
So, in order to make sure that all bases (and Shishido's) belonged to him, he had called Kevin Smith, fellow stalker currently obsessed with Echizen enough to be able to tell when his extra userpics were about to run out and buy some for him.
…heh.
Anyway. Saeki called him and explained the situation and Kevin said he'd come along with "surveillance" materials, which Saeki soon discovered included pink Hello Kitty walkie-talkies, McDonald's Happy Meal toy binoculars, unassuming black hats (a tip from Inui, Kevin had said), and two notebooks.
Saeki hadn't really been impressed, but he smiled and gave Kevin a thumbs up anyway because the kid was cute, thinking he could stalk.
"What the hell. His room," said/asked Kevin. "Over," he added as an afterthought.
"Yeah. Echizen just sat on his bed and Shishido's standing around looking cute… I mean… disgruntled or what have you, over."
There was silence for a while, then Kevin replied with, "I'm coming to join you in that tree, over."
"What? No! We can't compromise security like that, Smith, over!"
"I don't care I wanna see what the hell's going on, over!"
Saeki face-palmed. He was hidden perfectly by the tree, but if Kevin climbed it and ruffled the leaves and shook the branches, there was no telling what Echizen and Shishido would do, if they'd see it or what. Kevin Smith was such a stalking novice; he was going to be the death of him and of their mission!
To calm himself (or maybe to just satisfy his growing curiosity), Saeki peered back through Echizen's window. His eyes widened when he saw that Shishido was now sitting next to Echizen on the bed, and his head was lowering (!!!) and Echizen was SMIRKING and he felt an anger the likes of which the world had not seen before.
"Idiot," Kevin said between huffing breaths as he started climbing the tree. "It's not like… they're gonna do anything…"
"How are you so sure," Saeki said coldly, still glaring at Echizen and Shishido and their unacceptable closeness. "Something seems to be going on. It's like with Tachibana. Only Shishido kind of likes Echizen."
Kevin sat on the branch next to Saeki and raised his binoculars. "He does. He won't admit it but he does. The idiot. But that's not the point. He doesn’t like Ryoma like that, and neither does Ryoma…" There was a pause. "Ah-ha! Look!"
Saeki looked.
He didn't see much.
"What?"
"Look!"
"At what?"
"Them!"
"What are they doing?"
"Making pie charts!"
"What? Isn't that what Mizuki does?"
"Duh, but Make Fun of Mizuki Day is coming up soon and that's what they're doing and you're an idiot for thinking they were going to do gross things and making me come along with my awesome stalker gear!"
Saeki spared a glance at his pink Hello Kitty walkie-talkie. "Uh-huh," he said, perfectly convinced of Kevin's awesome-stalker-ness, but not really.
Kevin glared. "They were on sale and work REALLY WELL, thank you."
"Uh-huh," Saeki repeated.
Just as Kevin was about to smack Saeki in the face, the sound of a window opening greeted their ears, and slowly (very slowly) they both turned to Echizen's window.
Echizen stood there looking entirely unimpressed, and Shishido stood directly behind him, trying to push Echizen away. He wouldn't budge, so Shishido just yelled, "WHAT THE HELL ARE YOU GUYS DOING OUT THERE?! SERIOUSLY, YOU'RE DYSFUNCTIONAL AND LAME!!!"
"Love you too!" Saeki said with a grin and a thumbs up. Shishido's face turned red. Ryoma pushed him away.
"You're terrible stalkers. Mada mada dane," he said, and closed the window.
"Pfft, we can still see through the win-" Kevin started, but then Ryoma pulled down the blinds, "…dow."
"Good job!" Saeki said, patting Kevin on the back a little too hard and causing him to almost fall out of the tree.
"This is why I like stalking with Inui better," Kevin muttered after having found his balance again.
"Better me than Shiraishi!" Saeki grinned.
"Point," said Kevin, who agreed even though he doesn’t really know who that is (but then again, who wouldn't agree?).
Kevin and Saeki then gave up spying for the day and ate at McDonald's, where they got Happy Meals so they could get awesome spying equipment as prizes.
THE END
…but seriously. Thanks.
Title: Those Who Stalk Together Do Other Things Like Go Out To Lunch Together
Featuring: Kevin, Saeki, Shishido, and me (others mentioned)
Rated: PG
Length: About 950 words.
"Shishido's about to knock on the door, over," said Kevin into his walkie-talkie.
"I see that, Agent Yellow," came the reply only seconds later. "Echizen's heard the knock! I repeat, Echizen's heard the knock! He's heading downstairs and will open the door in three, two, one… over!"
"It sounds weird when you say 'over' after that. And I hate the name Agent Yellow - don't call me that, over!" complained Kevin, who pressed that random button they have on walkie-talkies that's supposed to be used for Morse Code but no one ever uses it for that. Kevin liked to use it for annoying people.
On the other side of the street where he was perched in the Echizens' backyard tree, Saeki winced and held the walkie-talkie farther away from his ear. "Little jerk…" he muttered.
Finally the long beep stopped and Saeki said, "You're a bit of an asshole, aren't you, over?"
"You're a creepy stalking loser, over!" came the reply. Saeki rolled his eyes. Look who was talking, after all.
"Echizen's just re-entered his room, and Shishido's in tow, over," said Saeki, back to business.
He wondered what on earth Shishido and Echizen were planning. He'd read a thread in Echizen's journal and Shishido had mentioned "collaborating" with Echizen, but that could've meant any number of things, from fic to drawing to making out (he really really really really really hoped it wasn't the latter).
So, in order to make sure that all bases (and Shishido's) belonged to him, he had called Kevin Smith, fellow stalker currently obsessed with Echizen enough to be able to tell when his extra userpics were about to run out and buy some for him.
…heh.
Anyway. Saeki called him and explained the situation and Kevin said he'd come along with "surveillance" materials, which Saeki soon discovered included pink Hello Kitty walkie-talkies, McDonald's Happy Meal toy binoculars, unassuming black hats (a tip from Inui, Kevin had said), and two notebooks.
Saeki hadn't really been impressed, but he smiled and gave Kevin a thumbs up anyway because the kid was cute, thinking he could stalk.
"What the hell. His room," said/asked Kevin. "Over," he added as an afterthought.
"Yeah. Echizen just sat on his bed and Shishido's standing around looking cute… I mean… disgruntled or what have you, over."
There was silence for a while, then Kevin replied with, "I'm coming to join you in that tree, over."
"What? No! We can't compromise security like that, Smith, over!"
"I don't care I wanna see what the hell's going on, over!"
Saeki face-palmed. He was hidden perfectly by the tree, but if Kevin climbed it and ruffled the leaves and shook the branches, there was no telling what Echizen and Shishido would do, if they'd see it or what. Kevin Smith was such a stalking novice; he was going to be the death of him and of their mission!
To calm himself (or maybe to just satisfy his growing curiosity), Saeki peered back through Echizen's window. His eyes widened when he saw that Shishido was now sitting next to Echizen on the bed, and his head was lowering (!!!) and Echizen was SMIRKING and he felt an anger the likes of which the world had not seen before.
"Idiot," Kevin said between huffing breaths as he started climbing the tree. "It's not like… they're gonna do anything…"
"How are you so sure," Saeki said coldly, still glaring at Echizen and Shishido and their unacceptable closeness. "Something seems to be going on. It's like with Tachibana. Only Shishido kind of likes Echizen."
Kevin sat on the branch next to Saeki and raised his binoculars. "He does. He won't admit it but he does. The idiot. But that's not the point. He doesn’t like Ryoma like that, and neither does Ryoma…" There was a pause. "Ah-ha! Look!"
Saeki looked.
He didn't see much.
"What?"
"Look!"
"At what?"
"Them!"
"What are they doing?"
"Making pie charts!"
"What? Isn't that what Mizuki does?"
"Duh, but Make Fun of Mizuki Day is coming up soon and that's what they're doing and you're an idiot for thinking they were going to do gross things and making me come along with my awesome stalker gear!"
Saeki spared a glance at his pink Hello Kitty walkie-talkie. "Uh-huh," he said, perfectly convinced of Kevin's awesome-stalker-ness, but not really.
Kevin glared. "They were on sale and work REALLY WELL, thank you."
"Uh-huh," Saeki repeated.
Just as Kevin was about to smack Saeki in the face, the sound of a window opening greeted their ears, and slowly (very slowly) they both turned to Echizen's window.
Echizen stood there looking entirely unimpressed, and Shishido stood directly behind him, trying to push Echizen away. He wouldn't budge, so Shishido just yelled, "WHAT THE HELL ARE YOU GUYS DOING OUT THERE?! SERIOUSLY, YOU'RE DYSFUNCTIONAL AND LAME!!!"
"Love you too!" Saeki said with a grin and a thumbs up. Shishido's face turned red. Ryoma pushed him away.
"You're terrible stalkers. Mada mada dane," he said, and closed the window.
"Pfft, we can still see through the win-" Kevin started, but then Ryoma pulled down the blinds, "…dow."
"Good job!" Saeki said, patting Kevin on the back a little too hard and causing him to almost fall out of the tree.
"This is why I like stalking with Inui better," Kevin muttered after having found his balance again.
"Better me than Shiraishi!" Saeki grinned.
"Point," said Kevin, who agreed even though he doesn’t really know who that is (but then again, who wouldn't agree?).
Kevin and Saeki then gave up spying for the day and ate at McDonald's, where they got Happy Meals so they could get awesome spying equipment as prizes.
THE END