My 2 cents...plus some.disseminatingNovember 30 2003, 15:10:44 UTC
*knows you are not for rape*
Let me clear something up. Some people, while not looking for sex may exude a sexual presence, because that is the only way they know how to act. Many "whores" or provacative dressers, have low self esteems and are in search of attention. Bad attention is better than no intention.
Let no one be mistaken...it is always about attention. ALWAYS. Why do we look good when we go out? Attention. Why do I wear lower cut shirts sometimes....Attention. Why do young girls wear shit they shouldn't? Attention...and media influence.
This constant need for attention arises from a low self esteem. Period. It all comes back to being noticed. People want to be noticed. We have such a superficial society. We only get noticed based on our looks or the way we dress.
Sorry, but I do not think that they are "looking for sex". Yes, some are. But that is not always the case.
A woman always has the right to say no. Even IF she wears no undies under a skirt. Even if her shirt says "Fuck me 'til dawn".
When I was attacked in NYC...wanna know what I was wearing? Wanna know the "sexual" energy I was exuding? NONE. I was wearing my BUSHY as shit winter coat...yes march...but It was cold as shit and raining. Jacket was totally zipped up. I was also wearing overalls...and a baggy shirt. (not even one of my tight shirts underneath). I was wearing my vans. My fatal mistake was being in a not great neighborhood...at like 2 in the afternoon, making photocopies for my class. Oh, I had headphones on. I wasnt paying full attention to my surroundings. I take responsibility for my headphones. THAT IS IT. I did not ask for shit. Even if I had been wearing a mini-skirt, knee high boots, and a little shirt....it would not have been a "Mel looking for sex". It would have been "Mel is going to a club, wants to have fun". Having fun doesnt mean fucking in the corner. If i want to dress sexy, or in my sweats, it never matters. Mel has sex only when she wants. Trust me, the guy knows.
Re: My 2 cents...plus some.princejupiterNovember 30 2003, 15:48:16 UTC
Yup. You and actually all of the victims I know, were not being provacative. Just victims of random violence.
Yes, that's more what I mean. Not necessarily looking for sex, but being expressive. But as I said in another reply, there's a time and place for everything. If you wear a 'fuck me' shirt, it'd be safer to wear it around friends than when you're with a bunch of people you don't know.
Another point I didn't make is that this also deals with teasing and men's weakenesses. Lots of the male population have these egoes and if they feel a girl is projecting herself and he tries to get some but gets none, he'll feel teased, like a fool, and some will seek revenge and attack the female for that. I've actually heard of that happening. But I do think the larger part of the blame is on the guy for not being man enough to control himself. Everyone should be able to wear what they want. But it's just not that simple anymore. Things can happen as a result, sadly.
And yeah, it all has to do with attention. Even expression does, I think.
Let me clear something up. Some people, while not looking for sex may exude a sexual presence, because that is the only way they know how to act. Many "whores" or provacative dressers, have low self esteems and are in search of attention. Bad attention is better than no intention.
Let no one be mistaken...it is always about attention. ALWAYS. Why do we look good when we go out? Attention. Why do I wear lower cut shirts sometimes....Attention. Why do young girls wear shit they shouldn't? Attention...and media influence.
This constant need for attention arises from a low self esteem. Period. It all comes back to being noticed. People want to be noticed. We have such a superficial society. We only get noticed based on our looks or the way we dress.
Sorry, but I do not think that they are "looking for sex". Yes, some are. But that is not always the case.
A woman always has the right to say no. Even IF she wears no undies under a skirt. Even if her shirt says "Fuck me 'til dawn".
When I was attacked in NYC...wanna know what I was wearing? Wanna know the "sexual" energy I was exuding? NONE. I was wearing my BUSHY as shit winter coat...yes march...but It was cold as shit and raining. Jacket was totally zipped up. I was also wearing overalls...and a baggy shirt. (not even one of my tight shirts underneath). I was wearing my vans. My fatal mistake was being in a not great neighborhood...at like 2 in the afternoon, making photocopies for my class. Oh, I had headphones on. I wasnt paying full attention to my surroundings. I take responsibility for my headphones. THAT IS IT. I did not ask for shit. Even if I had been wearing a mini-skirt, knee high boots, and a little shirt....it would not have been a "Mel looking for sex". It would have been "Mel is going to a club, wants to have fun". Having fun doesnt mean fucking in the corner. If i want to dress sexy, or in my sweats, it never matters. Mel has sex only when she wants. Trust me, the guy knows.
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I dont want anyone to misinterpret me having FUN for me looking for sex.
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Yes, that's more what I mean. Not necessarily looking for sex, but being expressive. But as I said in another reply, there's a time and place for everything. If you wear a 'fuck me' shirt, it'd be safer to wear it around friends than when you're with a bunch of people you don't know.
Another point I didn't make is that this also deals with teasing and men's weakenesses. Lots of the male population have these egoes and if they feel a girl is projecting herself and he tries to get some but gets none, he'll feel teased, like a fool, and some will seek revenge and attack the female for that. I've actually heard of that happening. But I do think the larger part of the blame is on the guy for not being man enough to control himself. Everyone should be able to wear what they want. But it's just not that simple anymore. Things can happen as a result, sadly.
And yeah, it all has to do with attention. Even expression does, I think.
~PJ
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Anywho, I am sure you realize it isnt you I am attacking. Its the misrepresentations of what rape is about.
I think its great you opened up the convo...but you know me, if I am impassioned about something, I will speak my mind, forcefully if need be.
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I know, Melly. I know you know me better than that and are just passionate about your opinions =)
~PJ
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