(no subject)
collective:
i realize it has been many moons since ive updated this thing, but ive been trying my best to avoid posting my usual angry, angsty whiney posts.
in the last few months i have
been working at Caribou coffee in hunt valley( canadian themed coffee house)
made actual effort and am very close to moving to Asheville NC( i realize this place, this mountain outpost of hippies and artists is where i can for the first time in my life call my home.)
been able to think seriously about going back to school
realized i have more then enough money to move, get established and start my bead and jewlerey buisness properly
watched cancer eat my father alive. last wednesday the doctors at the hershey medical center said they couldnt do anything for the tumors on his spinal colum, and sent him home to die. my sister and i went up to see him, where many sad things transpired. but i think the words" i realize now that ive been a basterd to everyone whos ever loved me" will haunt me till my death.
im going to c-burg next week with my sister, uncle, and cousin to be his aprentencesfor a few days and try o finish some of his clocks. i doubt anything will get done, and its probably going to do more damage then good.
it hurts. all of it.
but now im reverting back to my old ways so i will cut my losses and spend the rest of the night on the Ipanema surf.
most of you know me as matt , but that needs to change. matt was a scared fat lonely child who had no idea who or what he was. i have introduced myself to everyone in asheville as Mahta( matt in gaelic). every shaman goes through a ritual suicide, and is reborn from the womb of the earth mother.
soon.
end transmission.
i realize it has been many moons since ive updated this thing, but ive been trying my best to avoid posting my usual angry, angsty whiney posts.
in the last few months i have
been working at Caribou coffee in hunt valley( canadian themed coffee house)
made actual effort and am very close to moving to Asheville NC( i realize this place, this mountain outpost of hippies and artists is where i can for the first time in my life call my home.)
been able to think seriously about going back to school
realized i have more then enough money to move, get established and start my bead and jewlerey buisness properly
watched cancer eat my father alive. last wednesday the doctors at the hershey medical center said they couldnt do anything for the tumors on his spinal colum, and sent him home to die. my sister and i went up to see him, where many sad things transpired. but i think the words" i realize now that ive been a basterd to everyone whos ever loved me" will haunt me till my death.
im going to c-burg next week with my sister, uncle, and cousin to be his aprentencesfor a few days and try o finish some of his clocks. i doubt anything will get done, and its probably going to do more damage then good.
it hurts. all of it.
but now im reverting back to my old ways so i will cut my losses and spend the rest of the night on the Ipanema surf.
most of you know me as matt , but that needs to change. matt was a scared fat lonely child who had no idea who or what he was. i have introduced myself to everyone in asheville as Mahta( matt in gaelic). every shaman goes through a ritual suicide, and is reborn from the womb of the earth mother.
soon.
end transmission.