Lonely Day, System of a Down
Man... that was something else entirely. *shakes head*
I've never cried at a funeral, I haven't. I teared up at my grandfather's funeral, and at most of the other multitudes I've attended... But you... You bastard, you. *smirks* You somehow managed to squeeze full-fledged sobs out of this black little heart of mine.
I was a little more distant in that last entry, you see... I didn't think the Pup's passing would so effect me... Well, needless to say, it did. Getting together for what is possibly the worst and most morbid High School Reunion I could think to attend... Well, it really put that last spike in the track... None of us need to really think twice about the fact that, really, should such an event be the only way to bring us together?
Certainly, I've not spoken to Talon, the Pup, Felis, Jet, Ash, the ol' Puddle Pirate, or anyone else, really, in years. I blame myself... naturally. We all went our seperate ways, some faster than others... and I somehow get the impression that I was one of the few who never called once all was said and done. No doubt about it, such should never have been the case.
Maybe I was naive in thinking, "Shit, we're all in our fucking twenties... We've got more than plenty of time to kill..." But recent events have shown me with a clarity I never thought possible that, no... We don't have time to kill. I know, everyone says this all the time. I mean, people die everyday, so you'd think it would register that we're not immortal... But then again, there are people starving in the streets, but that doesn't really register either, when we're throwing out half a plate of pasta we can't finish. *shakes head*
Y'know, for a while there, after we stopped hanging out on a daily basis, the Pup and I pretty much ran into each other once every six or so months, either by chance or by design. Sometimes we'd just see each other on the bus, or downtown... Other times we'd actually somehow manage to track the other down, despite constant changes in address on both of our parts... Regardless, though, we'd spend a couple o' four hours just catching up, and as I already mentioned, telling stories that would get more and more outlandish as the minutes rolled past.
I remember, at one point, he came over to my place... He'd just gotten into an argument with his mother, and wasn't sure where he was going to live... He wasn't in the least bit concerned, mind you, being as he had a bevy of friends upon whom he could call at any given point. But he popped by with three or four dufflebags worth of clothing, gaming books, and other goods... Asked me to hold on to them for him. That way, he'd know they were always safe, and he could come and get them when he got settled in somewhere.
He never came back to get any of his stuff, and over time, and a couple of moves later, the clothes went to goodwill... ((I doubt he'd be pissed at me for that... All things considered, he was a Bone-Gnawer as well as a Fenrir, and damned if he would mind...)) The one thing, though, that he pretty much left to me as a gift was his copy of Werewolf: The Apocalypse. He said that it was the fee for me hanging on to the rest of his goods. Now, while I didn't hang on to the rest of 'em, I kept that book... Maybe I shouldn't of, considering I didn't keep the rest of the stuff, but all things considered, if that's my deepest regret at this point...
Regardless, he left me that book. It's pretty beaten up by now... seen a lot better days, but it's here all the same. He gave me that gift, and many others, besides... But the point is, he seems to have given us all one more gift. The abject lesson that, yes, we're all going to die, sooner rather than later, and be damned if we want regrets as we go. Because he didn't so long as I knew him.
What I'm saying is, whether or not anyone reading this sees it the same way, I am going to be taking this time to reconnect with the Pack... it's been too long, and I've been absent well past my due. Maybe I don't deserve it... I probably don't, really. I've been an ass. Regardless, though, I'll try. We were all friends, and family moreso... I don't want to leave that as a regret... If I am to leave it, let it be as a fond memory.
See you on Saturday.
-Devlin
I've never cried at a funeral, I haven't. I teared up at my grandfather's funeral, and at most of the other multitudes I've attended... But you... You bastard, you. *smirks* You somehow managed to squeeze full-fledged sobs out of this black little heart of mine.
I was a little more distant in that last entry, you see... I didn't think the Pup's passing would so effect me... Well, needless to say, it did. Getting together for what is possibly the worst and most morbid High School Reunion I could think to attend... Well, it really put that last spike in the track... None of us need to really think twice about the fact that, really, should such an event be the only way to bring us together?
Certainly, I've not spoken to Talon, the Pup, Felis, Jet, Ash, the ol' Puddle Pirate, or anyone else, really, in years. I blame myself... naturally. We all went our seperate ways, some faster than others... and I somehow get the impression that I was one of the few who never called once all was said and done. No doubt about it, such should never have been the case.
Maybe I was naive in thinking, "Shit, we're all in our fucking twenties... We've got more than plenty of time to kill..." But recent events have shown me with a clarity I never thought possible that, no... We don't have time to kill. I know, everyone says this all the time. I mean, people die everyday, so you'd think it would register that we're not immortal... But then again, there are people starving in the streets, but that doesn't really register either, when we're throwing out half a plate of pasta we can't finish. *shakes head*
Y'know, for a while there, after we stopped hanging out on a daily basis, the Pup and I pretty much ran into each other once every six or so months, either by chance or by design. Sometimes we'd just see each other on the bus, or downtown... Other times we'd actually somehow manage to track the other down, despite constant changes in address on both of our parts... Regardless, though, we'd spend a couple o' four hours just catching up, and as I already mentioned, telling stories that would get more and more outlandish as the minutes rolled past.
I remember, at one point, he came over to my place... He'd just gotten into an argument with his mother, and wasn't sure where he was going to live... He wasn't in the least bit concerned, mind you, being as he had a bevy of friends upon whom he could call at any given point. But he popped by with three or four dufflebags worth of clothing, gaming books, and other goods... Asked me to hold on to them for him. That way, he'd know they were always safe, and he could come and get them when he got settled in somewhere.
He never came back to get any of his stuff, and over time, and a couple of moves later, the clothes went to goodwill... ((I doubt he'd be pissed at me for that... All things considered, he was a Bone-Gnawer as well as a Fenrir, and damned if he would mind...)) The one thing, though, that he pretty much left to me as a gift was his copy of Werewolf: The Apocalypse. He said that it was the fee for me hanging on to the rest of his goods. Now, while I didn't hang on to the rest of 'em, I kept that book... Maybe I shouldn't of, considering I didn't keep the rest of the stuff, but all things considered, if that's my deepest regret at this point...
Regardless, he left me that book. It's pretty beaten up by now... seen a lot better days, but it's here all the same. He gave me that gift, and many others, besides... But the point is, he seems to have given us all one more gift. The abject lesson that, yes, we're all going to die, sooner rather than later, and be damned if we want regrets as we go. Because he didn't so long as I knew him.
What I'm saying is, whether or not anyone reading this sees it the same way, I am going to be taking this time to reconnect with the Pack... it's been too long, and I've been absent well past my due. Maybe I don't deserve it... I probably don't, really. I've been an ass. Regardless, though, I'll try. We were all friends, and family moreso... I don't want to leave that as a regret... If I am to leave it, let it be as a fond memory.
See you on Saturday.
-Devlin