'cuz if you can't dance, then you --
"Tutor?" Sho says. "Me?"
"It would only be for a while, Sho-kun," Takki says. "It's just that right now he's spending all his time in Johnny's and not enough time studying. But he's a smart kid -- his grades will be back up before you know it."
"I know he's a smart kid," Sho says. "So I'm surprised he needs my help at all."
"You're the best student among the Juniors, even Jun-kun knows that." Takki smiles encouragingly. "He asked for you specifically."
Specifically? Well.
~
So one day Sakurai Sho becomes Matsumoto Jun's new after school tutor.
~
Sho actually doesn't know much about Jun. They don't frequently cross paths because they're in different units. Even during break or group practice, Sho rarely sees the other kid. There were a lot of Juniors in the Jimusho, after all, and even though Jun stood out as the "new elite kid," he was as tiny as a kitten in stature; in a mess of over fifty young boys jostling with each other, he was almost completely overtaken by a sea of bony shoulders and knobby knees. So Sho doesn't have much of an impression, other than how Jun was very popular with the female fans, and got annoyed by people calling him "Jun-chan." The first time Jun walks into their assigned study room, clutching the strap of his book bag in one hand and a bright blue pencil case in the other, Sho thinks, "good grief, you are adorable," because Jun really is that: with his heart-shaped face and chubby cheeks and big eyes and pouty lips, Sho suddenly understands why Johnny-san let him join without auditions.
~
"Hello, Sakurai-san," Jun says, bowing respectfully. He walks quickly to the table Sho's cleared out and sits down across from Sho.
"Hi, Matsumoto-kun," Sho says politely, indicating for Jun to just leave his bag wherever.
"Oh, you don't need to call me that," Jun says hurriedly. "Jun is fine, you can call me Jun. Please."
"Sure, okay," Sho agrees. "Jun-kun." Jun looks a little flustered, but straightens up in his chair when Sho says his name.
"Yes. Sakurai-san," Jun says decisively. He stares at Sho for a little longer, but makes no other move.
"Do you want to take out your textbooks?" Sho prompts him.
"Oh!" Jun startles, ripping open his backpack. "You’re right, sorry. Um, and, I wanted to thank Sakurai-san for being so kind as to spend so much of his time on me. I promise I'll work hard." He says this with such sincerity that Sho feels a little bit of his heart melting.
"I'm sure you will," Sho says, smiling. "And you don’t need to be so formal. I'm happy to help. Getting a good education is really important."
"I know!" Jun grins back. "I know it's really important, my mother tells me all the time, of course. I’m having a harder time in school since I joined Johnny’s, though. Then I met Sakurai-san who's being an idol and excelling in school at the same time, and I was really impressed. I thought, I want to be as talented as Sakurai-san too!" He finishes with a pink face, seemingly embarrassed of how much he revealed.
But Sho thinks it's cute.
"Thank you," he says to Jun, and Jun turns just a bit redder. Really cute. He's like a little brother. "Let's get started then! What topics are you having trouble with?"
~
What Sho finds is that Jun really is a bright person. He listens intently when Sho explains the concepts, asks pertinent questions, and can easily do the exercise questions after he and Sho have gone through a few together for practice. Sho can admit that it feels pretty good, to be a teacher. There's a different way that people look at you, when you're giving them knowledge. Or so Sho assumes. Jun certainly seems to respect him a lot. And it's kind of fun, too, guiding Jun through the same things Sho had learned a few years ago, encouraging Sho's passion for academics in Jun. Sho decides that it was a good choice, to become Jun's tutor. He’s lucky that Jun was making it such a good experience, because Sho's sure that not every student would be as well-mannered and focused as Jun is. When Jun's parents come by to pick him up at the end of the night, Jun waves to Sho from inside the car, his smile as huge as Sho has ever seen it. Sho waves back, and Jun grins even wider.
~
Seeing how young Jun is makes Sho feel old, so at home he decides to call up Ohno.
"Ohno-san," Sho greets.
"Sho-kun," Ohno replies softly.
"How are you? How hot is it in Kyoto? The weather's already super humid in Tokyo."
"It's okay," Ohno answers. Sho suppresses a sigh. Everything is okay for Ohno.
"Is Sho-kun still doing well in his studies?" Ohno asks. Sho has wondered, more than once, why everyone always used that as a talking point to start a conversation with him. Sho studies a lot, sure, but he does have other interests. He's in Johnny's, isn't he? But he knows Ohno; Sho suspects that the only reason that Ohno always begins with this question is because he simply can't think of anything else to say.
"I'm doing fine," Sho says. "Thanks for asking. Actually, now that you bring it up, I wanted to tell you. They've got me tutoring the new Junior, Matsumoto Jun. He was the one who was accepted without auditions. Johnny-san called him up personally."
"Oh. That's amazing," Ohno says without inflection.
Sho tries not to laugh. It's just like Ohno not to care about these things.
"He's very nice," Sho continues. "Not arrogant at all.”
"Sho-kun is teaching Matsumoto-kun? Math and stuff?" Ohno asks.
"Yeah. Mainly arithmetic and science. A bit of English. He's fine with Japanese. It's actually not that hard, to teach him. He's good."
"Sho-kun is so kind," Ohno says, and it sounds like he's smiling.
"It's just common decency," Sho pouts, feeling self-conscious at the attention. It's really not the big deal that everyone seems to make it. "I'm just helping out a friend."
"It's the start of a whirlwind romance," Ohno says abruptly.
"What?"
"It sounds like a drama I'm watching. Sho-kun's situation. Elicit romance between a tutor and his student."
"What? Do you mean illicit? Why are you watching sappy high school dramas? How much free time do you have in Kyoto, anyway?"
"I don't have many channels," Ohno says sadly.
"Why don't you read a book or something?" Sho suggests helpfully.
Ohno is silent for a second. "Well, I do have some channels," he says.
~
The next day at practice Sho bends over to tie his shoelaces and somebody jumps onto his back.
"Sho-san," Nino sings in Sho's ear.
Sho grins. "Hey." He stands; Nino clings to his shoulders and Sho reflexively reaches behind him to grab Nino's legs, hefting up the other boy into a piggyback.
"I heard," Nino smirks, "that youuu have a protégé!"
"Me? Who?"
"I heard that you've taken our darling own Matsumoto-pon under your wing, and you're going to nurture him into becoming a beautiful yet stalwart pine tree. Squirrels will be all after his pinecones." Nino points to the vending machines by the break room. "Go that way."
"That's gross, don't say things like that," Sho laughs, following Nino's direction.
"But you are, right?" Nino insists.
"I'm tutoring him, yes," Sho says. "Is it such a big deal?"
"No," Nino announces, pushing off Sho's back. Sho digs out a handful of change from his pocket and Nino takes his hand, sifting through the coins on Sho's palm for enough money for two drinks. "It's just funny, I think," he adds, hitting the button for Pocari Sweat twice. The first can clunks out; Nino tosses it to Sho. "I wonder what will happen?"
"What do you mean?" Sho asks warily. "His grades will improve, right?" Sho can feel something uncomfortable form in the pit of his stomach. When Nino wonders what things are about to happen, the things that eventually happen never end well for Sho. Most of it is Nino's fault.
"Jun-kun asked for you specifically, you know?" Nino tells him, looking at Sho carefully.
"Yeah, Takki-san told me. It makes sense." It’s not illogical to come to Sho for help. Sho supposes that even if Jun's family hired a real tutor, it would be more convenient for Jun to study when he's on break at Johnny's, since he's here all the time anyway.
"I thought so too," Nino smiles. Something in his voice makes Sho suspicious. He narrows his eyes.
"Are - you're not complimenting me, are you? You never compliment me. What are you up to?"
"I," Nino says, "am not up to anything. And maybe I just had a sudden realization of Sho-san's amazing talents. You ought to be thankful!"
"Uh-huh," Sho says doubtfully.
"Anyway," Nino shrugs. "It's like you said, right? It's not a big deal."
Nino gulps down the rest of his soft drink. Over his shoulder, Sho catches sight of Jun, who's looking at both of them with an odd expression on his face. When he notices that Sho's seen him, he goes red and turns around, rushing to a nearby group of Juniors.
Huh. Weird.
~
Sho finds himself thinking about it, at home: the slight discomfort (if that was what it was) in Jun's face watching him and Nino, and the flash of embarrassment of being caught staring. It's something to do with Nino, Sho's pretty sure. It's always something to do with Nino. Maybe Nino and Jun don't get along? But from their daily interactions, they seem fine. Nino picks on Jun just as much, or some days even more, than he picks on Toma and Aiba, and Jun doesn't start crying or anything so they must be okay friends at least. Maybe Nino did something really, really mean and Jun was just too humiliated to bring up the subject, but Sho doubts that. Nino can be evil, but there's a limit to his evil. Usually. Sometimes. Anyway, it's not Nino's style to pull some huge prank on someone who isn't asking for it, and Jun seems headstrong enough to call Nino on anything the other boy might do to him. Maybe it's just a disagreement over a dance routine, since they do get partnered up a lot. Maybe Jun's nervous with Nino, since Nino's been in the Jimusho for longer and is better at acrobatics -- is Jun jealous? Sho doesn't know Jun well enough to know if he's the type to get jealous, but Sho watches Jun and Nino shove each other around during practice and there doesn't seem to be any animosity between them.
Maybe Sho's just imagining things.
~
Jun is perfectly fine during their next tutoring session together. He's eager and alert and grins at Sho when Sho praises his work. When Sho's stomach growls, Jun takes out his own bento and shares half of it with Sho. They talk casually as they eat; by Sho's standards, Jun's actually a pretty cool person. By the end of the evening, Sho's got half a mind to call Nino and tell him off for making Sho paranoid. (He can just imagine how that would go: "What kind of paranoia? Like, a dishabilitating-everyone-is-out-to-get-me type, or a looking-over-your-shoulder-every-few-minutes type? Anyway, why are you blaming me for your paranoia? It's not my problem.") In any case, obviously there is nothing the matter with Jun and Nino was just trying to mess with Sho as usual. It's just a simple tutoring thing, what in the world could go wrong?
"Good work today, Jun-kun," Sho says, helping him straighten up the desk.
"Thanks," Jun says easily. "It's thanks to you, sempai."
"You can call me Sho," Sho laughs. "Everyone else does."
Jun nods. "I noticed," he says quietly. "But I didn't want to make that assumption."
Sho's eyebrows rise. "Don't be silly, Jun-kun. We're all friends here."
"But some of us are better friends than others, right?" Jun asks, raising his chin slightly.
"Uh, yeah," Sho says. "I guess so."
"You and Nino, for example. You're pretty good friends."
Sho tenses. So there was something, after all. What should he say? How should he react? Sho tries for honesty. "We're good friends, yes. We were often put in the same dance groups and things, especially when Nino first joined Johnny's."
"Good," Jun says, eyes trained on the textbooks he's putting in his bag. "It seems like you guys have a lot of fun together."
Is it just him? Sho could swear that he detected a bit of -- annoyance? longing? -- something in Jun's voice. Good grief, what had Nino done to the poor boy?
"Nino's a weird kid," Sho hurries to say. "You know? We share a lot of the same interests, but even I can tell that he's a weird kid. So -- so don't let him get to you, okay? He's just like that. You'll get used to it."
Jun looks at Sho strangely. Sho flushes. Had that come out wrong? Did Jun not understand that Sho was trying to reassure him? Mostly everyone in Johnny's was weird, and Sho knows that he's no exception. But if Jun is having issues with Nino, then he ought to understand that Nino is just being Nino, it's not like he's purposefully trying to make Jun uncomfortable. Nino, on the whole, is a really nice person. Usually. Sometimes.
"You talk about Nino a lot," Jun murmurs, almost to himself.
Sho shrugs awkwardly. "He's my best friend." This seems to surprise Jun.
"Nino? Your best friend?"
Now Sho feels embarrassed, for some reason. "What's wrong with Nino?" He hopes Jun doesn't ask him what makes Nino his best friend; Sho barely understands it himself. Sho just... likes Nino's company. Nino's interesting. Nino's funny.
"Nino's fine," Jun says, like it's obvious. There's a small, amused smile on his face. "If he's just your best friend, then I'm not worried."
Sho's mind blanks.
"Sorry, what do you mean?"
But Jun swings on his bag and turns away. The tips of Jun's ears are burning. "It's nothing, I was just thinking to myself. I guess I'm a little tired today."
This snaps Sho back to reality. "Yeah, you worked well today. Your grades will be up in no time! See you tomorrow for practice!"
"Thanks. Bye, Sho-kun," Jun smiles shyly, and darts out the door.
~
Now Sho is even more confused. Jun didn't have any problems with Nino, but what had he meant, when he'd said, "If he's just your best friend"? Sho can't make sense of it. What usually happens in situations like this is that Sho will overanalyze it, coming up with an explanation so ridiculously convoluted it makes the real one seem insignificant in comparison. He'd once thought that his mother was suffering from some sort of psychological tic when he caught her sitting at the dinner table by herself, blinking rapidly and staring at the clock on the wall. He'd immediately ran up to his room to write a 500-word essay dedicated to her, vowing to always love her and honour her no matter what, so please could she seek some professional help. He'd gone to her bedroom to slip it onto her pillow; it was by chance he noticed that there was a box of new contacts (she'd always worn glasses) on her bedside table, along with instructions for the care of dry eyes. He'd reclaimed the essay, but in the end, couldn't bring himself to throw it out. It was really good work.
The point is: Sho needs to get the advice of someone who noticed the obvious right away.
"So that's what he said, what do you make of that, Ohno-kun?" Sho asks the phone.
There is a pregnant pause.
Sho waits for Ohno's answer.
Patiently.
"Ohno-san, did the line disconnect?" Sho asks. "You must have said something, but I didn't catch it."
"I didn't," Ohno answers.
"Didn't what?"
"I didn't say anything."
"Oh."
Sho waits.
"So what do you think?" he prompts Ohno, after another moment of quiet.
"Maybe it's some misunderstanding," Ohno mumbles. "He said he was tired, right? Maybe he was tired."
Sho very, very slowly expels his breath so Ohno can't hear him sighing. "But what about that best friend bit?"
"I don't know," Ohno says. "I don't know Matsumoto-kun. The drama -- in the drama, the tutor expedited his authority on his student and she confessed to him."
"I'm glad that you're enjoying the show," Sho says as sincerely as he can. "But that's really not helping. Also, do you mean exercised? Exercised his authority?"
"Ah. Yes."
"But that's from the drama.
"Yeah, the drama," Ohno repeats. "Then the tutor got in trouble. So Sho-kun should be careful of how he treats Matsumoto-kun."
This time Sho doesn't bother to hide his sigh. "Thanks for the advice, Ohno-kun."
"No, no," Ohno says. "It was nothing."
Sho has to agree.
~
"Aiba-chan," Sho calls, waving Aiba over. Aiba looks around, spots Sho half-hidden at the end of the row of lockers, and grins.
"Sho-chan! What are you doing over there, in the corner? Come on, we have to hurry up or everyone is going to get all the good snacks first."
"Just a second, just a second. I wanted to ask you something."
Aiba's gaze turns curious. His grin widens. "Oh, Sho-chan has a secret? You can tell me anything, Sho-chan, I swear. I'm the best at keeping secrets."
"It's not a secret!" Sho hisses. "I just want your opinion about something that's been... bothering me."
"Is this about Matsujun?" Aiba says immediately.
Sho's back straightens. "Jun? How did you know?"
Aiba giggles. "It's obvious, Sho-chan."
Sho panics. It's even worse than he's imagined. There's this whole thing going on and he got involved somehow and he doesn't know what it is but apparently everyone else did. Does.
"Well, not to everyone," Aiba corrects, and Sho didn't mean to say that aloud, he really didn't. "But me for sure. Because I hang around Matsujun a lot, you know? We're good friends."
"Right!" Sho nods quickly. "So since you're such good friends, you can tell me what's up with him, right? I should know these things, since I'm tutoring him alone and stuff, after practices -- why are you laughing?"
"I'm not laughing!" Aiba protests, clapping his hand to his mouth. "It's just -- Sho-chan, you don't know? I thought for sure you would know by now!"
"Aiba," Sho pleads. "Just tell me what it is please?"
"I'm sorry," Aiba gasps, clutching Sho's shoulder. "I'm sorry, I didn't mean to. But since Sho-chan doesn't know, then I definitely can't tell you. Sorry."
"What? Why not?"
“It's Jun-kun's secret," Aiba's smile turns soft. "So I can't tell. But don't worry Sho-chan," he adds, upon seeing Sho's frown, "Matsujun will tell you soon! For sure. He sort of has to, it'd be bad otherwise. You're his special tutor, after all."
"Can't you give me a hint?" Sho whines.
"Does it really matter?" Aiba says. "The tutoring sessions are still fun, right? Jun-kun's not awkward at all, right?"
"Of course they're still fun. And Jun's great, too. But I just -- I don't want to accidentally say the wrong thing and hurt his feelings. Because I don't know what the problem is."
"Sho-chan," Aiba hugs him. "There is no problem! None at all! Just keep doing what Sho-chan normally does and Jun will be so happy with that."
"I don't get this," Sho mutters into Aiba's shoulder.
"It could be worse," Aiba offers. "Like, right now it's still a secret, so even if Sho-chan doesn't know, it's okay. But what if it was something that Matsujun told everyone except for you? That would totally suck! And what if Nino took advantage of it and like, did pranks?"
Sho shudders. "I think I'm going to have nightmares tonight, thanks."
"You're welcome!" Aiba chirps.
~
Appearances aside, Aiba is actually an extremely trustworthy person. First of all, Nino and Aiba take the train home together everyday, and Sho can only imagine what sort of trouble the two of them get themselves into; but even though they always come to rehearsals bursting with sensational stories about their idiotic adventures, Aiba never ever mentions Nino's home situation. (Nino doesn't either, naturally.) Second, Sho likes to think that Nino hangs around cool people, because he hangs around Sho a lot. Third, Aiba knows quite a few of Sho's secrets too, and since Nino hasn't yet broken into Sho's room to "borrow" his precious, valuable Batman comic book collection, it means Aiba's kept his mouth shut. (Sho still booby-traps his door, before he goes on trips, just in case.) When it comes to advice, Aiba's could be questionable, but when it comes to judgment, Aiba's was -- still questionable, but for something like this Sho trusts him. Aiba told Sho to just relax and stop worrying about it, so that's what Sho is determined to do.
But he can't help sneaking glances at Jun every so often during practice, just to check up on him. It's a bit alarming how many times Sho catches Jun staring back.
"Gather, everyone!" Takki yells. "We're going to do that cosplay photo shoot now! Ryo, stop groaning, I can hear you. Okay, I'm going to say first come, first serve, and there's quite a few girl outfits, so -- wait wait, don't push, hey --"
A sudden wave of boys swarm onto the costume box, yelling and kicking and grabbing the most masculine clothes they can find.
"Sho-chan!!" Aiba calls him from the front of the pack, holding up a graduation outfit. "This is perfect for you!" He tosses it over.
"Thanks," Sho says, catching it. It's a bit ordinary, but Sho doesn't mind. Everyone seems to have the impression that Sho's a man's man, and he's not sure if he wants them to find out that he actually doesn't mind dressing up as a female. He used to cosplay with his sister all the time; she always complained that his legs were nicer than hers.
"Hi, Sho-kun," Jun says, stepping up beside him. He's clutching a schoolgirl's uniform in his hands. "How are you?"
"Hey Jun-kun," Sho smiles. "Cute," he says, nodding to the skirt. "All you need is some pigtails and you'll be the real thing."
"Leave it to me!" Aiba yells, and hurtles himself into the remaining group of Juniors, screaming for dibs on the wigs.
"This is lame," Nino complains, walking over to them. He's half-dressed in a black leotard Zorro outfit, but he can't fully pull up the zipper on his back. Sho helps zip him up.
"You look very heroic," he says straight-faced, when Nino turns around. Nino is too short and too thin: the supposedly skintight costume bags on him. It's pretty hideous.
"I need a mask," Nino whines. "Then I can hide my face."
"But it's such a cute face." Sho puts his hands on Nino's cheeks and squeezes. Nino crosses his eyes, and Sho lets go, laughing.
"Got it! I got one!" Aiba says, returning with a wig with two shoulder length braids. "Matsujun, try it." Jun puts it on with an expression of long-suffering. It's too large on him and the bangs slant across his entire forehead.
"Hm, we'll have to brush them to the side," Aiba muses, fiddling with the hair. "But it looks so good on you, Matsujun! You totally look like a girl! I would ask you out on a date!"
"Shut up, you idiot," Jun replies lightly. "I wouldn't go out with you in a million years."
Aiba grins. "Well of course you're going to say that now, since Shhhhh-- uh--"
"AIBA," Jun shouts at him, looking horrified.
"Aiba!" Nino says, bursting into laughter.
"Aiba?" Sho asks, not understanding the joke.
"OH, UH, I think I hear Yoko-chan calling me, sorry bye!" Aiba flees.
"That moron," Jun seethes, glaring daggers into Aiba's retreating back. "I'm going to cut him." He seems quite murderous, but the effect is mostly ruined by the pigtails.
"He did it on purpose, probably," Nino says, giving Jun a sidelong glance. "He's impatient." Jun glares at him too and stomps away, wig bouncing perkily on his head. Nino rolls his eyes.
Sho grabs Nino's elbow. "Nino, what was that just now?"
Nino smirks. "It was nothing, Sho-chan."
"Oi, put some effort into your lies at least."
"Why should I?" Nino laughs. "Since Sho-chan is so smart, he'll see through them anyway."
"Is this something to do with Matsujun's secret?"
"Oh! So you've been awake all this time! I thought you hadn't noticed at all."
"Nino," Sho says, more seriously now. "I'm not kidding around. Aiba told me not to worry about it, but I thought he was the only one who knew. If you know too, then --"
"Aiba's right," Nino interrupts. "There's nothing you can do about it right now. You're tutoring him, and that's all. It's up to Jun if that will change."
"What the hell are you talking about, you cryptic asshole." Sho doesn't scream, but it's a near thing.
Nino winds his arms around Sho's neck. Sho's beginning to suspect that Aiba and Nino both learned this technique to get the other person to give up the argument. "This isn't fair," he pouts. "You know it isn't fair, why do all of you guys know about it and not me?"
"We know about it," Nino coos at him, "because we actually use our brains for things besides schoolwork. Sho-chan has been too busy with other things, so it's okay if you don't figure it out."
"Some best friend you are," Sho scowls, but hugs Nino back anyhow.
"It's because I'm your best friend that I'm staying out of this one. If I had decided to mess with it, things would have blown up pretty fast, and either you'd never speak to Jun again, or you'd quit Johnny's entirely. Actually, it might even be worse: what if I decided to take advantage of the whole situation and prank you or something? I don't like it when Sho-chan cries."
"Can you and Aiba stop hanging around each other?" Sho implores. "Please. It's bad for my health."
Nino pecks him on the cheek. "No."
~
Things are getting out of hand. Sho catches Jun peeking over at him all the time now, and Jun doesn't bother to look away anymore. Once he'd finished a set of sit ups and looked up to see Jun by the vending machines, watching Sho with half-lidded eyes. Sho had kept his gaze for a few seconds: Jun had taken a slow sip of his drink and it was Sho who broke eye contact first. Is there something the matter with Sho? Something that Jun found interesting? Or maybe Jun is internally conflicted about something and wants to ask Sho's opinion, but just doesn't know how to bring it up. Actually, yes. That makes sense. Nino had even said it was up to Jun to act, not Sho. And logically, Nino and Aiba would know Jun's issues since they were so close. Maybe it's something about schooling, since Sho's father had a lot of contacts in many reputable universities. Maybe Jun needed a favour of some kind. Oh no, was Jun sick? Was he dying? Jun can't be dying, can he?
Sho is going to develop an anxiety disorder if this keeps up. He needs answers.
~
The next study session, Jun is more quiet than usual; his smiles seem a little forced around the edges. Although he consistently gives the right answers, his mind seems to be elsewhere. He stares at Sho with extra intensity; something like curiousity and maybe even a little confusion. It's almost as if Jun's assessing Sho, weighing Sho's qualities in his mind. It's unnerving.
"Maybe we should stop here for today," Sho offers. It's clear that Jun's not concentrating.
"I'm sorry," Jun says immediately. "I'll try harder."
"No, it's not that," Sho sighs. "Look, Jun-kun."
"Yes?" This seems to arouse Jun's full attention.
Sho asks him, "Is there a problem between us?" Jun looks like he's about to vehemently protest, but Sho raises his hand. "I know that there's something going on, and it's something to do with me, but I don't know what it is. I just want you to know that you can talk about anything with me. I'm not as close to you as Aiba or Nino, but I like you a lot, and I don't want to risk losing your friendship or respect by doing something ignorant. If you're worried about hurting my feelings, I can assure you that it won't be a problem."
There. Sho thinks that sounded quite good. And he'd only needed to practise it six times in front of the mirror. Jun looks positively bowled over.
"Sho-san," Jun whispers, eyes wide. "I-- I had no idea I was inconveniencing you like this. I swear there's nothing bad you've done."
Sho frowns. "But I've done something, that's what you're saying?" His voice is louder than he'd expected it to be.
"It's more like, everything about you." Jun is turning redder and redder. Is he leaning closer as well?
"Everything? How can that be?" Sho asks, as Jun's face seems to grow in his vision. Then, there's a soft pressure on his lips and Jun leans back, flushed all the way to his hairline. Sho gapes.
"Now you know," Jun murmurs.
There is a tiny explosion going on in Sho's brain right now. His lips are tingling. His heart is being too noisy; its beating is throwing off Sho's thought process. That's okay, because Sho isn't thinking, his mind was wiped blank. No, he needs to think. Jun's waiting for a response. He looks half hopeful, half scared, half regretful. That's three halves. Oh God.
"I think we should maybe stop here for today," Sho gasps weakly, not knowing what else to say.
Jun's expression closes. "Yeah, you're right. It's getting late." He packs away his books quickly. For once, Sho, sitting frozen in his chair, doesn't help.
"See you, Sakurai-san," Jun says quietly as he opens the door. He turns back for a brief moment, and now he just looks sad. "You said you wanted to know, but I guess you weren't expecting that kind of response?" His smile is tiny and brittle. "I apologize for -- for that." He leaves.
Sho tries to even out his breathing.
continue to part two.
"It would only be for a while, Sho-kun," Takki says. "It's just that right now he's spending all his time in Johnny's and not enough time studying. But he's a smart kid -- his grades will be back up before you know it."
"I know he's a smart kid," Sho says. "So I'm surprised he needs my help at all."
"You're the best student among the Juniors, even Jun-kun knows that." Takki smiles encouragingly. "He asked for you specifically."
Specifically? Well.
~
So one day Sakurai Sho becomes Matsumoto Jun's new after school tutor.
~
Sho actually doesn't know much about Jun. They don't frequently cross paths because they're in different units. Even during break or group practice, Sho rarely sees the other kid. There were a lot of Juniors in the Jimusho, after all, and even though Jun stood out as the "new elite kid," he was as tiny as a kitten in stature; in a mess of over fifty young boys jostling with each other, he was almost completely overtaken by a sea of bony shoulders and knobby knees. So Sho doesn't have much of an impression, other than how Jun was very popular with the female fans, and got annoyed by people calling him "Jun-chan." The first time Jun walks into their assigned study room, clutching the strap of his book bag in one hand and a bright blue pencil case in the other, Sho thinks, "good grief, you are adorable," because Jun really is that: with his heart-shaped face and chubby cheeks and big eyes and pouty lips, Sho suddenly understands why Johnny-san let him join without auditions.
~
"Hello, Sakurai-san," Jun says, bowing respectfully. He walks quickly to the table Sho's cleared out and sits down across from Sho.
"Hi, Matsumoto-kun," Sho says politely, indicating for Jun to just leave his bag wherever.
"Oh, you don't need to call me that," Jun says hurriedly. "Jun is fine, you can call me Jun. Please."
"Sure, okay," Sho agrees. "Jun-kun." Jun looks a little flustered, but straightens up in his chair when Sho says his name.
"Yes. Sakurai-san," Jun says decisively. He stares at Sho for a little longer, but makes no other move.
"Do you want to take out your textbooks?" Sho prompts him.
"Oh!" Jun startles, ripping open his backpack. "You’re right, sorry. Um, and, I wanted to thank Sakurai-san for being so kind as to spend so much of his time on me. I promise I'll work hard." He says this with such sincerity that Sho feels a little bit of his heart melting.
"I'm sure you will," Sho says, smiling. "And you don’t need to be so formal. I'm happy to help. Getting a good education is really important."
"I know!" Jun grins back. "I know it's really important, my mother tells me all the time, of course. I’m having a harder time in school since I joined Johnny’s, though. Then I met Sakurai-san who's being an idol and excelling in school at the same time, and I was really impressed. I thought, I want to be as talented as Sakurai-san too!" He finishes with a pink face, seemingly embarrassed of how much he revealed.
But Sho thinks it's cute.
"Thank you," he says to Jun, and Jun turns just a bit redder. Really cute. He's like a little brother. "Let's get started then! What topics are you having trouble with?"
~
What Sho finds is that Jun really is a bright person. He listens intently when Sho explains the concepts, asks pertinent questions, and can easily do the exercise questions after he and Sho have gone through a few together for practice. Sho can admit that it feels pretty good, to be a teacher. There's a different way that people look at you, when you're giving them knowledge. Or so Sho assumes. Jun certainly seems to respect him a lot. And it's kind of fun, too, guiding Jun through the same things Sho had learned a few years ago, encouraging Sho's passion for academics in Jun. Sho decides that it was a good choice, to become Jun's tutor. He’s lucky that Jun was making it such a good experience, because Sho's sure that not every student would be as well-mannered and focused as Jun is. When Jun's parents come by to pick him up at the end of the night, Jun waves to Sho from inside the car, his smile as huge as Sho has ever seen it. Sho waves back, and Jun grins even wider.
~
Seeing how young Jun is makes Sho feel old, so at home he decides to call up Ohno.
"Ohno-san," Sho greets.
"Sho-kun," Ohno replies softly.
"How are you? How hot is it in Kyoto? The weather's already super humid in Tokyo."
"It's okay," Ohno answers. Sho suppresses a sigh. Everything is okay for Ohno.
"Is Sho-kun still doing well in his studies?" Ohno asks. Sho has wondered, more than once, why everyone always used that as a talking point to start a conversation with him. Sho studies a lot, sure, but he does have other interests. He's in Johnny's, isn't he? But he knows Ohno; Sho suspects that the only reason that Ohno always begins with this question is because he simply can't think of anything else to say.
"I'm doing fine," Sho says. "Thanks for asking. Actually, now that you bring it up, I wanted to tell you. They've got me tutoring the new Junior, Matsumoto Jun. He was the one who was accepted without auditions. Johnny-san called him up personally."
"Oh. That's amazing," Ohno says without inflection.
Sho tries not to laugh. It's just like Ohno not to care about these things.
"He's very nice," Sho continues. "Not arrogant at all.”
"Sho-kun is teaching Matsumoto-kun? Math and stuff?" Ohno asks.
"Yeah. Mainly arithmetic and science. A bit of English. He's fine with Japanese. It's actually not that hard, to teach him. He's good."
"Sho-kun is so kind," Ohno says, and it sounds like he's smiling.
"It's just common decency," Sho pouts, feeling self-conscious at the attention. It's really not the big deal that everyone seems to make it. "I'm just helping out a friend."
"It's the start of a whirlwind romance," Ohno says abruptly.
"What?"
"It sounds like a drama I'm watching. Sho-kun's situation. Elicit romance between a tutor and his student."
"What? Do you mean illicit? Why are you watching sappy high school dramas? How much free time do you have in Kyoto, anyway?"
"I don't have many channels," Ohno says sadly.
"Why don't you read a book or something?" Sho suggests helpfully.
Ohno is silent for a second. "Well, I do have some channels," he says.
~
The next day at practice Sho bends over to tie his shoelaces and somebody jumps onto his back.
"Sho-san," Nino sings in Sho's ear.
Sho grins. "Hey." He stands; Nino clings to his shoulders and Sho reflexively reaches behind him to grab Nino's legs, hefting up the other boy into a piggyback.
"I heard," Nino smirks, "that youuu have a protégé!"
"Me? Who?"
"I heard that you've taken our darling own Matsumoto-pon under your wing, and you're going to nurture him into becoming a beautiful yet stalwart pine tree. Squirrels will be all after his pinecones." Nino points to the vending machines by the break room. "Go that way."
"That's gross, don't say things like that," Sho laughs, following Nino's direction.
"But you are, right?" Nino insists.
"I'm tutoring him, yes," Sho says. "Is it such a big deal?"
"No," Nino announces, pushing off Sho's back. Sho digs out a handful of change from his pocket and Nino takes his hand, sifting through the coins on Sho's palm for enough money for two drinks. "It's just funny, I think," he adds, hitting the button for Pocari Sweat twice. The first can clunks out; Nino tosses it to Sho. "I wonder what will happen?"
"What do you mean?" Sho asks warily. "His grades will improve, right?" Sho can feel something uncomfortable form in the pit of his stomach. When Nino wonders what things are about to happen, the things that eventually happen never end well for Sho. Most of it is Nino's fault.
"Jun-kun asked for you specifically, you know?" Nino tells him, looking at Sho carefully.
"Yeah, Takki-san told me. It makes sense." It’s not illogical to come to Sho for help. Sho supposes that even if Jun's family hired a real tutor, it would be more convenient for Jun to study when he's on break at Johnny's, since he's here all the time anyway.
"I thought so too," Nino smiles. Something in his voice makes Sho suspicious. He narrows his eyes.
"Are - you're not complimenting me, are you? You never compliment me. What are you up to?"
"I," Nino says, "am not up to anything. And maybe I just had a sudden realization of Sho-san's amazing talents. You ought to be thankful!"
"Uh-huh," Sho says doubtfully.
"Anyway," Nino shrugs. "It's like you said, right? It's not a big deal."
Nino gulps down the rest of his soft drink. Over his shoulder, Sho catches sight of Jun, who's looking at both of them with an odd expression on his face. When he notices that Sho's seen him, he goes red and turns around, rushing to a nearby group of Juniors.
Huh. Weird.
~
Sho finds himself thinking about it, at home: the slight discomfort (if that was what it was) in Jun's face watching him and Nino, and the flash of embarrassment of being caught staring. It's something to do with Nino, Sho's pretty sure. It's always something to do with Nino. Maybe Nino and Jun don't get along? But from their daily interactions, they seem fine. Nino picks on Jun just as much, or some days even more, than he picks on Toma and Aiba, and Jun doesn't start crying or anything so they must be okay friends at least. Maybe Nino did something really, really mean and Jun was just too humiliated to bring up the subject, but Sho doubts that. Nino can be evil, but there's a limit to his evil. Usually. Sometimes. Anyway, it's not Nino's style to pull some huge prank on someone who isn't asking for it, and Jun seems headstrong enough to call Nino on anything the other boy might do to him. Maybe it's just a disagreement over a dance routine, since they do get partnered up a lot. Maybe Jun's nervous with Nino, since Nino's been in the Jimusho for longer and is better at acrobatics -- is Jun jealous? Sho doesn't know Jun well enough to know if he's the type to get jealous, but Sho watches Jun and Nino shove each other around during practice and there doesn't seem to be any animosity between them.
Maybe Sho's just imagining things.
~
Jun is perfectly fine during their next tutoring session together. He's eager and alert and grins at Sho when Sho praises his work. When Sho's stomach growls, Jun takes out his own bento and shares half of it with Sho. They talk casually as they eat; by Sho's standards, Jun's actually a pretty cool person. By the end of the evening, Sho's got half a mind to call Nino and tell him off for making Sho paranoid. (He can just imagine how that would go: "What kind of paranoia? Like, a dishabilitating-everyone-is-out-to-get-me type, or a looking-over-your-shoulder-every-few-minutes type? Anyway, why are you blaming me for your paranoia? It's not my problem.") In any case, obviously there is nothing the matter with Jun and Nino was just trying to mess with Sho as usual. It's just a simple tutoring thing, what in the world could go wrong?
"Good work today, Jun-kun," Sho says, helping him straighten up the desk.
"Thanks," Jun says easily. "It's thanks to you, sempai."
"You can call me Sho," Sho laughs. "Everyone else does."
Jun nods. "I noticed," he says quietly. "But I didn't want to make that assumption."
Sho's eyebrows rise. "Don't be silly, Jun-kun. We're all friends here."
"But some of us are better friends than others, right?" Jun asks, raising his chin slightly.
"Uh, yeah," Sho says. "I guess so."
"You and Nino, for example. You're pretty good friends."
Sho tenses. So there was something, after all. What should he say? How should he react? Sho tries for honesty. "We're good friends, yes. We were often put in the same dance groups and things, especially when Nino first joined Johnny's."
"Good," Jun says, eyes trained on the textbooks he's putting in his bag. "It seems like you guys have a lot of fun together."
Is it just him? Sho could swear that he detected a bit of -- annoyance? longing? -- something in Jun's voice. Good grief, what had Nino done to the poor boy?
"Nino's a weird kid," Sho hurries to say. "You know? We share a lot of the same interests, but even I can tell that he's a weird kid. So -- so don't let him get to you, okay? He's just like that. You'll get used to it."
Jun looks at Sho strangely. Sho flushes. Had that come out wrong? Did Jun not understand that Sho was trying to reassure him? Mostly everyone in Johnny's was weird, and Sho knows that he's no exception. But if Jun is having issues with Nino, then he ought to understand that Nino is just being Nino, it's not like he's purposefully trying to make Jun uncomfortable. Nino, on the whole, is a really nice person. Usually. Sometimes.
"You talk about Nino a lot," Jun murmurs, almost to himself.
Sho shrugs awkwardly. "He's my best friend." This seems to surprise Jun.
"Nino? Your best friend?"
Now Sho feels embarrassed, for some reason. "What's wrong with Nino?" He hopes Jun doesn't ask him what makes Nino his best friend; Sho barely understands it himself. Sho just... likes Nino's company. Nino's interesting. Nino's funny.
"Nino's fine," Jun says, like it's obvious. There's a small, amused smile on his face. "If he's just your best friend, then I'm not worried."
Sho's mind blanks.
"Sorry, what do you mean?"
But Jun swings on his bag and turns away. The tips of Jun's ears are burning. "It's nothing, I was just thinking to myself. I guess I'm a little tired today."
This snaps Sho back to reality. "Yeah, you worked well today. Your grades will be up in no time! See you tomorrow for practice!"
"Thanks. Bye, Sho-kun," Jun smiles shyly, and darts out the door.
~
Now Sho is even more confused. Jun didn't have any problems with Nino, but what had he meant, when he'd said, "If he's just your best friend"? Sho can't make sense of it. What usually happens in situations like this is that Sho will overanalyze it, coming up with an explanation so ridiculously convoluted it makes the real one seem insignificant in comparison. He'd once thought that his mother was suffering from some sort of psychological tic when he caught her sitting at the dinner table by herself, blinking rapidly and staring at the clock on the wall. He'd immediately ran up to his room to write a 500-word essay dedicated to her, vowing to always love her and honour her no matter what, so please could she seek some professional help. He'd gone to her bedroom to slip it onto her pillow; it was by chance he noticed that there was a box of new contacts (she'd always worn glasses) on her bedside table, along with instructions for the care of dry eyes. He'd reclaimed the essay, but in the end, couldn't bring himself to throw it out. It was really good work.
The point is: Sho needs to get the advice of someone who noticed the obvious right away.
"So that's what he said, what do you make of that, Ohno-kun?" Sho asks the phone.
There is a pregnant pause.
Sho waits for Ohno's answer.
Patiently.
"Ohno-san, did the line disconnect?" Sho asks. "You must have said something, but I didn't catch it."
"I didn't," Ohno answers.
"Didn't what?"
"I didn't say anything."
"Oh."
Sho waits.
"So what do you think?" he prompts Ohno, after another moment of quiet.
"Maybe it's some misunderstanding," Ohno mumbles. "He said he was tired, right? Maybe he was tired."
Sho very, very slowly expels his breath so Ohno can't hear him sighing. "But what about that best friend bit?"
"I don't know," Ohno says. "I don't know Matsumoto-kun. The drama -- in the drama, the tutor expedited his authority on his student and she confessed to him."
"I'm glad that you're enjoying the show," Sho says as sincerely as he can. "But that's really not helping. Also, do you mean exercised? Exercised his authority?"
"Ah. Yes."
"But that's from the drama.
"Yeah, the drama," Ohno repeats. "Then the tutor got in trouble. So Sho-kun should be careful of how he treats Matsumoto-kun."
This time Sho doesn't bother to hide his sigh. "Thanks for the advice, Ohno-kun."
"No, no," Ohno says. "It was nothing."
Sho has to agree.
~
"Aiba-chan," Sho calls, waving Aiba over. Aiba looks around, spots Sho half-hidden at the end of the row of lockers, and grins.
"Sho-chan! What are you doing over there, in the corner? Come on, we have to hurry up or everyone is going to get all the good snacks first."
"Just a second, just a second. I wanted to ask you something."
Aiba's gaze turns curious. His grin widens. "Oh, Sho-chan has a secret? You can tell me anything, Sho-chan, I swear. I'm the best at keeping secrets."
"It's not a secret!" Sho hisses. "I just want your opinion about something that's been... bothering me."
"Is this about Matsujun?" Aiba says immediately.
Sho's back straightens. "Jun? How did you know?"
Aiba giggles. "It's obvious, Sho-chan."
Sho panics. It's even worse than he's imagined. There's this whole thing going on and he got involved somehow and he doesn't know what it is but apparently everyone else did. Does.
"Well, not to everyone," Aiba corrects, and Sho didn't mean to say that aloud, he really didn't. "But me for sure. Because I hang around Matsujun a lot, you know? We're good friends."
"Right!" Sho nods quickly. "So since you're such good friends, you can tell me what's up with him, right? I should know these things, since I'm tutoring him alone and stuff, after practices -- why are you laughing?"
"I'm not laughing!" Aiba protests, clapping his hand to his mouth. "It's just -- Sho-chan, you don't know? I thought for sure you would know by now!"
"Aiba," Sho pleads. "Just tell me what it is please?"
"I'm sorry," Aiba gasps, clutching Sho's shoulder. "I'm sorry, I didn't mean to. But since Sho-chan doesn't know, then I definitely can't tell you. Sorry."
"What? Why not?"
“It's Jun-kun's secret," Aiba's smile turns soft. "So I can't tell. But don't worry Sho-chan," he adds, upon seeing Sho's frown, "Matsujun will tell you soon! For sure. He sort of has to, it'd be bad otherwise. You're his special tutor, after all."
"Can't you give me a hint?" Sho whines.
"Does it really matter?" Aiba says. "The tutoring sessions are still fun, right? Jun-kun's not awkward at all, right?"
"Of course they're still fun. And Jun's great, too. But I just -- I don't want to accidentally say the wrong thing and hurt his feelings. Because I don't know what the problem is."
"Sho-chan," Aiba hugs him. "There is no problem! None at all! Just keep doing what Sho-chan normally does and Jun will be so happy with that."
"I don't get this," Sho mutters into Aiba's shoulder.
"It could be worse," Aiba offers. "Like, right now it's still a secret, so even if Sho-chan doesn't know, it's okay. But what if it was something that Matsujun told everyone except for you? That would totally suck! And what if Nino took advantage of it and like, did pranks?"
Sho shudders. "I think I'm going to have nightmares tonight, thanks."
"You're welcome!" Aiba chirps.
~
Appearances aside, Aiba is actually an extremely trustworthy person. First of all, Nino and Aiba take the train home together everyday, and Sho can only imagine what sort of trouble the two of them get themselves into; but even though they always come to rehearsals bursting with sensational stories about their idiotic adventures, Aiba never ever mentions Nino's home situation. (Nino doesn't either, naturally.) Second, Sho likes to think that Nino hangs around cool people, because he hangs around Sho a lot. Third, Aiba knows quite a few of Sho's secrets too, and since Nino hasn't yet broken into Sho's room to "borrow" his precious, valuable Batman comic book collection, it means Aiba's kept his mouth shut. (Sho still booby-traps his door, before he goes on trips, just in case.) When it comes to advice, Aiba's could be questionable, but when it comes to judgment, Aiba's was -- still questionable, but for something like this Sho trusts him. Aiba told Sho to just relax and stop worrying about it, so that's what Sho is determined to do.
But he can't help sneaking glances at Jun every so often during practice, just to check up on him. It's a bit alarming how many times Sho catches Jun staring back.
"Gather, everyone!" Takki yells. "We're going to do that cosplay photo shoot now! Ryo, stop groaning, I can hear you. Okay, I'm going to say first come, first serve, and there's quite a few girl outfits, so -- wait wait, don't push, hey --"
A sudden wave of boys swarm onto the costume box, yelling and kicking and grabbing the most masculine clothes they can find.
"Sho-chan!!" Aiba calls him from the front of the pack, holding up a graduation outfit. "This is perfect for you!" He tosses it over.
"Thanks," Sho says, catching it. It's a bit ordinary, but Sho doesn't mind. Everyone seems to have the impression that Sho's a man's man, and he's not sure if he wants them to find out that he actually doesn't mind dressing up as a female. He used to cosplay with his sister all the time; she always complained that his legs were nicer than hers.
"Hi, Sho-kun," Jun says, stepping up beside him. He's clutching a schoolgirl's uniform in his hands. "How are you?"
"Hey Jun-kun," Sho smiles. "Cute," he says, nodding to the skirt. "All you need is some pigtails and you'll be the real thing."
"Leave it to me!" Aiba yells, and hurtles himself into the remaining group of Juniors, screaming for dibs on the wigs.
"This is lame," Nino complains, walking over to them. He's half-dressed in a black leotard Zorro outfit, but he can't fully pull up the zipper on his back. Sho helps zip him up.
"You look very heroic," he says straight-faced, when Nino turns around. Nino is too short and too thin: the supposedly skintight costume bags on him. It's pretty hideous.
"I need a mask," Nino whines. "Then I can hide my face."
"But it's such a cute face." Sho puts his hands on Nino's cheeks and squeezes. Nino crosses his eyes, and Sho lets go, laughing.
"Got it! I got one!" Aiba says, returning with a wig with two shoulder length braids. "Matsujun, try it." Jun puts it on with an expression of long-suffering. It's too large on him and the bangs slant across his entire forehead.
"Hm, we'll have to brush them to the side," Aiba muses, fiddling with the hair. "But it looks so good on you, Matsujun! You totally look like a girl! I would ask you out on a date!"
"Shut up, you idiot," Jun replies lightly. "I wouldn't go out with you in a million years."
Aiba grins. "Well of course you're going to say that now, since Shhhhh-- uh--"
"AIBA," Jun shouts at him, looking horrified.
"Aiba!" Nino says, bursting into laughter.
"Aiba?" Sho asks, not understanding the joke.
"OH, UH, I think I hear Yoko-chan calling me, sorry bye!" Aiba flees.
"That moron," Jun seethes, glaring daggers into Aiba's retreating back. "I'm going to cut him." He seems quite murderous, but the effect is mostly ruined by the pigtails.
"He did it on purpose, probably," Nino says, giving Jun a sidelong glance. "He's impatient." Jun glares at him too and stomps away, wig bouncing perkily on his head. Nino rolls his eyes.
Sho grabs Nino's elbow. "Nino, what was that just now?"
Nino smirks. "It was nothing, Sho-chan."
"Oi, put some effort into your lies at least."
"Why should I?" Nino laughs. "Since Sho-chan is so smart, he'll see through them anyway."
"Is this something to do with Matsujun's secret?"
"Oh! So you've been awake all this time! I thought you hadn't noticed at all."
"Nino," Sho says, more seriously now. "I'm not kidding around. Aiba told me not to worry about it, but I thought he was the only one who knew. If you know too, then --"
"Aiba's right," Nino interrupts. "There's nothing you can do about it right now. You're tutoring him, and that's all. It's up to Jun if that will change."
"What the hell are you talking about, you cryptic asshole." Sho doesn't scream, but it's a near thing.
Nino winds his arms around Sho's neck. Sho's beginning to suspect that Aiba and Nino both learned this technique to get the other person to give up the argument. "This isn't fair," he pouts. "You know it isn't fair, why do all of you guys know about it and not me?"
"We know about it," Nino coos at him, "because we actually use our brains for things besides schoolwork. Sho-chan has been too busy with other things, so it's okay if you don't figure it out."
"Some best friend you are," Sho scowls, but hugs Nino back anyhow.
"It's because I'm your best friend that I'm staying out of this one. If I had decided to mess with it, things would have blown up pretty fast, and either you'd never speak to Jun again, or you'd quit Johnny's entirely. Actually, it might even be worse: what if I decided to take advantage of the whole situation and prank you or something? I don't like it when Sho-chan cries."
"Can you and Aiba stop hanging around each other?" Sho implores. "Please. It's bad for my health."
Nino pecks him on the cheek. "No."
~
Things are getting out of hand. Sho catches Jun peeking over at him all the time now, and Jun doesn't bother to look away anymore. Once he'd finished a set of sit ups and looked up to see Jun by the vending machines, watching Sho with half-lidded eyes. Sho had kept his gaze for a few seconds: Jun had taken a slow sip of his drink and it was Sho who broke eye contact first. Is there something the matter with Sho? Something that Jun found interesting? Or maybe Jun is internally conflicted about something and wants to ask Sho's opinion, but just doesn't know how to bring it up. Actually, yes. That makes sense. Nino had even said it was up to Jun to act, not Sho. And logically, Nino and Aiba would know Jun's issues since they were so close. Maybe it's something about schooling, since Sho's father had a lot of contacts in many reputable universities. Maybe Jun needed a favour of some kind. Oh no, was Jun sick? Was he dying? Jun can't be dying, can he?
Sho is going to develop an anxiety disorder if this keeps up. He needs answers.
~
The next study session, Jun is more quiet than usual; his smiles seem a little forced around the edges. Although he consistently gives the right answers, his mind seems to be elsewhere. He stares at Sho with extra intensity; something like curiousity and maybe even a little confusion. It's almost as if Jun's assessing Sho, weighing Sho's qualities in his mind. It's unnerving.
"Maybe we should stop here for today," Sho offers. It's clear that Jun's not concentrating.
"I'm sorry," Jun says immediately. "I'll try harder."
"No, it's not that," Sho sighs. "Look, Jun-kun."
"Yes?" This seems to arouse Jun's full attention.
Sho asks him, "Is there a problem between us?" Jun looks like he's about to vehemently protest, but Sho raises his hand. "I know that there's something going on, and it's something to do with me, but I don't know what it is. I just want you to know that you can talk about anything with me. I'm not as close to you as Aiba or Nino, but I like you a lot, and I don't want to risk losing your friendship or respect by doing something ignorant. If you're worried about hurting my feelings, I can assure you that it won't be a problem."
There. Sho thinks that sounded quite good. And he'd only needed to practise it six times in front of the mirror. Jun looks positively bowled over.
"Sho-san," Jun whispers, eyes wide. "I-- I had no idea I was inconveniencing you like this. I swear there's nothing bad you've done."
Sho frowns. "But I've done something, that's what you're saying?" His voice is louder than he'd expected it to be.
"It's more like, everything about you." Jun is turning redder and redder. Is he leaning closer as well?
"Everything? How can that be?" Sho asks, as Jun's face seems to grow in his vision. Then, there's a soft pressure on his lips and Jun leans back, flushed all the way to his hairline. Sho gapes.
"Now you know," Jun murmurs.
There is a tiny explosion going on in Sho's brain right now. His lips are tingling. His heart is being too noisy; its beating is throwing off Sho's thought process. That's okay, because Sho isn't thinking, his mind was wiped blank. No, he needs to think. Jun's waiting for a response. He looks half hopeful, half scared, half regretful. That's three halves. Oh God.
"I think we should maybe stop here for today," Sho gasps weakly, not knowing what else to say.
Jun's expression closes. "Yeah, you're right. It's getting late." He packs away his books quickly. For once, Sho, sitting frozen in his chair, doesn't help.
"See you, Sakurai-san," Jun says quietly as he opens the door. He turns back for a brief moment, and now he just looks sad. "You said you wanted to know, but I guess you weren't expecting that kind of response?" His smile is tiny and brittle. "I apologize for -- for that." He leaves.
Sho tries to even out his breathing.
continue to part two.