Quest 219
[Private || Hackable by Friends]
And now Duo's gone, too.
That's three, then, that third departure I was so worried about. Sam, then Blue, and now Duo. Bad things come in threes...or perhaps I'm just looking for a third bad thing to round out the set, so I can stop worrying about the rest of it. Likely that would make more sense, wouldn't it? Cain's always saying there's no such thing as superstition, and looking for signs that aren't there is a sure way of finding them in things that don't mean anything at all. The City is what the City is, and I've been here long enough to know that people come and go, and there's no sense to any of it.
But...I've also been here long enough to know that things have a funny way of working in patterns, and that some things do repeat, or follow along as we think they do, and so then it becomes a matter of telling when something is a pattern and when it isn't, doesn't it? Is this another pattern, or is it just chance? Is it something to do with me, or did it simply come time for them to go? Sam had a world waiting to be saved. I think Duo did, too. But Blue...Blue had already done all he could for his, so why take him away, too? Why take him from here, when I needed him so much?
I don't want to lose any more. What if it's Neil next, when he's got the play going into rehearsals and a place to live with Todd and a bookstore and so many nice things for himself all set here? Or what if it's Todd, and he'll never finish the play he's writing because he's been pulled up from the City and sent back home? What if Cain finds that way out he's been looking for all this time, and Merry and Riff are within close reach, and then they're all gone before we know it? Who will welcome everyone to the City and look after ducks and be as wonderful as Penny is, if it's her turn to go? What if Caspian's kingdom needs him?
What if it's me?
...And when did I stop dreaming of the day I'd be able to go home at last, and start dreading the day I might have to leave all my friends behind?
If there's one good thing that curse did yesterday, it was to show me how selfish it really is, wanting them to stay here for my sake. Selfish, wanting to hold on as tightly as I can, as though they won't have to go if I do. Selfish to think that I can always go running off into any trouble I want to whenever I please, since they'll always be here to leap to my rescue if I ever really get in over my head.
Peter died for my sake. I can't--I can't let that happen again. I can't let them get hurt because of me. The bow, the magic--they're not enough. Not anymore.
At least...at least they're not being cursed anymore. They're not being used for their misery. Maybe it really is like Dean said, and they've gone back to better things. And maybe I've finally started to understand what Sam was always trying to tell me about thinking too much, and letting my worrying get in the way of having nice experiences with the people I care about. I thought--I thought that if I held myself back, if I never let myself get so close, that it wouldn't hurt as much when the time finally came. But it's going to hurt no matter what I do, isn't it? Isn't that what it means to care about someone at all?
At least I had the good sense not to label their things with my own name. And I'm...I'm glad to still have things of theirs to remember them by, even if I can't have the people themselves.
[/Private]
There, and that's another of those silly random weekends come to an end. We've been having them quite a long time, haven't we? At least a year and a half, I think it must be. I know it's less than two years, though, since I've been here two years and I can still remember a time when we weren't having them every month, but it really has been quite some time now since they've started coming along. And I suppose they're nice, in their own way, since the curses we get on those weekends tend to be mostly harmless ones, and then we always know that the Monday afterward will be free of them, since we've just spent a whole weekend acting silly.
Goodness knows I certainly was, running around writing my name on everything I owned--or simply thought I owned, even, which wasn't always the case. And I'm sorry to anyone I might've, er, tried to mark yesterday, in my rush to get everything labeled. If I did get to you, I hope you've managed to wash the ink off by now, and that I wasn't too much of a bother yesterday when I was trying to get all that done.
I don't think I've ever had that curse before, honestly. It's usually much more likely I'll find myself turned into a child or a bird for the weekend, which is usually a bit troublesome but mostly manageable. And this one was mostly manageable, too, but it does make for some interesting questions, doesn't it? After all, we usually write our names on things that are important to us, that we want to keep for ourselves, and that's why we mark them as our own. It helps keep them from getting lost, having a name on them, because then if they do and someone else finds them, they know who to return it to. Putting a name on something lets people know who it belongs to.
But it's silly to write your name on everything that's yours, and it's even sillier to try to do it to other people, instead of just possessions. For one thing, writing your name on something might spoil it rather than helping it--like trying to pen your name on a white cat, for instance. Or it might only be a waste of ink, since sometimes things are lost and can't be returned, no matter how much we may want them back.
Still...I think there are other ways of writing our names on people, even if we don't do it with ink, and more lasting places to do it than on their skin. In a certain way, I think that's rather what it means to be friends, even--because friends have a funny way of making their mark on you, and changing you for the better, and I think that's a much better way of going about it than writing all over them, anyway.
[OOC: So yesterday, Rosella found herself hit with the Mine Mine Mine curse, and spent the day running around writing her name on everything she owned. Which, all things considered, was quite a lot of writing. And now she's got to wash it all off again, too--but hey, at least it's giving her some quality time to think? Friends of hers, if you want to assume she got to you yesterday, feel free! Otherwise, she'll just be cleaning up the contents of the Warehouse. :D]
And now Duo's gone, too.
That's three, then, that third departure I was so worried about. Sam, then Blue, and now Duo. Bad things come in threes...or perhaps I'm just looking for a third bad thing to round out the set, so I can stop worrying about the rest of it. Likely that would make more sense, wouldn't it? Cain's always saying there's no such thing as superstition, and looking for signs that aren't there is a sure way of finding them in things that don't mean anything at all. The City is what the City is, and I've been here long enough to know that people come and go, and there's no sense to any of it.
But...I've also been here long enough to know that things have a funny way of working in patterns, and that some things do repeat, or follow along as we think they do, and so then it becomes a matter of telling when something is a pattern and when it isn't, doesn't it? Is this another pattern, or is it just chance? Is it something to do with me, or did it simply come time for them to go? Sam had a world waiting to be saved. I think Duo did, too. But Blue...Blue had already done all he could for his, so why take him away, too? Why take him from here, when I needed him so much?
I don't want to lose any more. What if it's Neil next, when he's got the play going into rehearsals and a place to live with Todd and a bookstore and so many nice things for himself all set here? Or what if it's Todd, and he'll never finish the play he's writing because he's been pulled up from the City and sent back home? What if Cain finds that way out he's been looking for all this time, and Merry and Riff are within close reach, and then they're all gone before we know it? Who will welcome everyone to the City and look after ducks and be as wonderful as Penny is, if it's her turn to go? What if Caspian's kingdom needs him?
What if it's me?
...And when did I stop dreaming of the day I'd be able to go home at last, and start dreading the day I might have to leave all my friends behind?
If there's one good thing that curse did yesterday, it was to show me how selfish it really is, wanting them to stay here for my sake. Selfish, wanting to hold on as tightly as I can, as though they won't have to go if I do. Selfish to think that I can always go running off into any trouble I want to whenever I please, since they'll always be here to leap to my rescue if I ever really get in over my head.
Peter died for my sake. I can't--I can't let that happen again. I can't let them get hurt because of me. The bow, the magic--they're not enough. Not anymore.
At least...at least they're not being cursed anymore. They're not being used for their misery. Maybe it really is like Dean said, and they've gone back to better things. And maybe I've finally started to understand what Sam was always trying to tell me about thinking too much, and letting my worrying get in the way of having nice experiences with the people I care about. I thought--I thought that if I held myself back, if I never let myself get so close, that it wouldn't hurt as much when the time finally came. But it's going to hurt no matter what I do, isn't it? Isn't that what it means to care about someone at all?
At least I had the good sense not to label their things with my own name. And I'm...I'm glad to still have things of theirs to remember them by, even if I can't have the people themselves.
[/Private]
There, and that's another of those silly random weekends come to an end. We've been having them quite a long time, haven't we? At least a year and a half, I think it must be. I know it's less than two years, though, since I've been here two years and I can still remember a time when we weren't having them every month, but it really has been quite some time now since they've started coming along. And I suppose they're nice, in their own way, since the curses we get on those weekends tend to be mostly harmless ones, and then we always know that the Monday afterward will be free of them, since we've just spent a whole weekend acting silly.
Goodness knows I certainly was, running around writing my name on everything I owned--or simply thought I owned, even, which wasn't always the case. And I'm sorry to anyone I might've, er, tried to mark yesterday, in my rush to get everything labeled. If I did get to you, I hope you've managed to wash the ink off by now, and that I wasn't too much of a bother yesterday when I was trying to get all that done.
I don't think I've ever had that curse before, honestly. It's usually much more likely I'll find myself turned into a child or a bird for the weekend, which is usually a bit troublesome but mostly manageable. And this one was mostly manageable, too, but it does make for some interesting questions, doesn't it? After all, we usually write our names on things that are important to us, that we want to keep for ourselves, and that's why we mark them as our own. It helps keep them from getting lost, having a name on them, because then if they do and someone else finds them, they know who to return it to. Putting a name on something lets people know who it belongs to.
But it's silly to write your name on everything that's yours, and it's even sillier to try to do it to other people, instead of just possessions. For one thing, writing your name on something might spoil it rather than helping it--like trying to pen your name on a white cat, for instance. Or it might only be a waste of ink, since sometimes things are lost and can't be returned, no matter how much we may want them back.
Still...I think there are other ways of writing our names on people, even if we don't do it with ink, and more lasting places to do it than on their skin. In a certain way, I think that's rather what it means to be friends, even--because friends have a funny way of making their mark on you, and changing you for the better, and I think that's a much better way of going about it than writing all over them, anyway.
[OOC: So yesterday, Rosella found herself hit with the Mine Mine Mine curse, and spent the day running around writing her name on everything she owned. Which, all things considered, was quite a lot of writing. And now she's got to wash it all off again, too--but hey, at least it's giving her some quality time to think? Friends of hers, if you want to assume she got to you yesterday, feel free! Otherwise, she'll just be cleaning up the contents of the Warehouse. :D]