Quest 216
[Private || Hackable by Friends]
First to Albion, then to a village where all the sheep are fluffy and white. North, then, four or five miles, and the fields will be heather and aster, and watch for when it turns to bluebells and blue crocuses. Listen for the sound of a horn, look for haystacks and cows, and a little hill, and there ought to be a little house--and that will be it. That's how I'll have found it.
There. And now it's written down, while it's still fresh in my memory, so I'll always have it and I'll never have to worry about forgetting one of the important bits.
I can't believe he's really gone. He and Sam, they're both...gone.
How many more friends will it be, in the days to come? How many times will I be the one to stay while they go? Who will it be next--Cain? Neil and Todd? Penny? How many more people will I lose? It's selfish, so selfish, to wish they would stay for my sake, but--
At least Sam's world needed him! At least he had a reason, at least they needed him more than I did, but Blue--what did he have to go back to?
I remember years ago, when he went home and came back and had lost his arm, and how upset he was that he couldn't play his trumpet, and how it was so terrible for him to endure that I was...that as horrible as it sounds, I was almost relieved when he came back with both, after he'd died. No, relieved isn't the word for it, that--that sounds terrible. But I was glad that he could at least have that small concession, even if he couldn't be alive, and that at least here, he could have his trumpet and something like a life and...and he was never sad about it. About being...dead. It always bothered me more than it bothered him, didn't it?
I always tried not to think about it. And it worked, too, for the most part. After a while I stopped noticing that he was always cold when I hugged him, or that he didn't need to eat, though he still could. Because why would I think about something like that? He was alive, seemed alive--as much as anyone else here is. He was still himself, just...cold.
And how horrible must it have been, knowing that the time had come to go, and knowing exactly what he was going back to once it did? Saying goodbye to everyone he loved, knowing he wouldn't remember any of them--he's forgotten me by now--and going off anyway...
Step by step, up the stone stairs toward the dragon and certain doom--
He could always find me, no matter where I was. Because he loved me. Because that's how it is for the people you love. And to think, the first time we met was the day we went crashing into each other because of that awful mistletoe, and he kissed me, and I didn't even know what to think...and then it was one thing after another. When I told him the secret I was still keeping about my title. When we realized that our worlds weren't so different after all, and that my Daventry might very well have been one of his Homelands. When he saved me, time and again...
And now he's gone. He's really gone, and I'm the only one left to remember.
And I can't even write letters to him, the way I could to Sam, because he's dead, he's dead, Blue's dead and I can't even pretend that he'll get them someday--
How many more people am I going to lose? What if next time, it's me?
They're gone and there's nothing I can do about it. It's--I just feel so helpless, and I hate it because I know there's nothing to do and I just...I want there to be something. I want Genesta to call to me through the mirror and tell me of a way to save them. I want something I can do to change it...and I can't. No amount of wishing brought Sam back. And it only got me into more trouble, running off after Rumplestilstkin, and digging up the graveyard--and I put Peter in danger, too, running off that way--and...and I just made a mess of things, trying to help and only doing more harm.
And they're not here to take care of me anymore. Sam isn't here to drive my nightmares away. Blue isn't here to come to my rescue. It's just me, and everyone that's worried about me...and if I'm not careful, I'll just drag all of them into danger chasing after me.
September--almost a year now, since the prison exploded. And August is always such a terrible month. Is it happening again? Am I going to make all the wrong choices again, and have nothing to show for it but heartache?
Is there really such a thing as doing something by not doing anything at all?
[/Private]
Thank you again to everyone that offered help with trying to catch Snowdrop the other day. We did manage to coax her out, in the end, and she and Prince are both safely back at the Warehouse now. Prince is settling in well--which I suppose is only natural, since we brought his whole bowl and everything with him, so the only thing that's really changed for him is the view outside his glass--and seems content enough. Snowdrop has taken to avoiding me, I think, but I know she's been eating the food I've been setting out for her, and I've seen flashes of white fur every so often, so I think she's still just getting used to being in a new place. There are certainly plenty of places for her to hide around here, and if she'd rather not be found, then that's all right, too.
...I think there's a curse out today, if all the, er, odd things outside are any indication. So it seems we're back to our usual variety of curses. I remember having the last one once before, when we all went to school and took tests and then had a ball to celebrate; this time was a bit different, but it was still just as busy and silly as before. But I suppose it's harmless, really, and I hope that today's curse is just as harmless, even if it is a bit...strange.
I shouldn't ask, bu
Please, I know there's a curse, but could som
I don't want to be alone right no
Do you suppose it's too ridiculous outside to go for a walk today, or would it be better to just stay in, instead?
First to Albion, then to a village where all the sheep are fluffy and white. North, then, four or five miles, and the fields will be heather and aster, and watch for when it turns to bluebells and blue crocuses. Listen for the sound of a horn, look for haystacks and cows, and a little hill, and there ought to be a little house--and that will be it. That's how I'll have found it.
There. And now it's written down, while it's still fresh in my memory, so I'll always have it and I'll never have to worry about forgetting one of the important bits.
I can't believe he's really gone. He and Sam, they're both...gone.
How many more friends will it be, in the days to come? How many times will I be the one to stay while they go? Who will it be next--Cain? Neil and Todd? Penny? How many more people will I lose? It's selfish, so selfish, to wish they would stay for my sake, but--
At least Sam's world needed him! At least he had a reason, at least they needed him more than I did, but Blue--what did he have to go back to?
I remember years ago, when he went home and came back and had lost his arm, and how upset he was that he couldn't play his trumpet, and how it was so terrible for him to endure that I was...that as horrible as it sounds, I was almost relieved when he came back with both, after he'd died. No, relieved isn't the word for it, that--that sounds terrible. But I was glad that he could at least have that small concession, even if he couldn't be alive, and that at least here, he could have his trumpet and something like a life and...and he was never sad about it. About being...dead. It always bothered me more than it bothered him, didn't it?
I always tried not to think about it. And it worked, too, for the most part. After a while I stopped noticing that he was always cold when I hugged him, or that he didn't need to eat, though he still could. Because why would I think about something like that? He was alive, seemed alive--as much as anyone else here is. He was still himself, just...cold.
And how horrible must it have been, knowing that the time had come to go, and knowing exactly what he was going back to once it did? Saying goodbye to everyone he loved, knowing he wouldn't remember any of them--he's forgotten me by now--and going off anyway...
Step by step, up the stone stairs toward the dragon and certain doom--
He could always find me, no matter where I was. Because he loved me. Because that's how it is for the people you love. And to think, the first time we met was the day we went crashing into each other because of that awful mistletoe, and he kissed me, and I didn't even know what to think...and then it was one thing after another. When I told him the secret I was still keeping about my title. When we realized that our worlds weren't so different after all, and that my Daventry might very well have been one of his Homelands. When he saved me, time and again...
And now he's gone. He's really gone, and I'm the only one left to remember.
And I can't even write letters to him, the way I could to Sam, because he's dead, he's dead, Blue's dead and I can't even pretend that he'll get them someday--
How many more people am I going to lose? What if next time, it's me?
They're gone and there's nothing I can do about it. It's--I just feel so helpless, and I hate it because I know there's nothing to do and I just...I want there to be something. I want Genesta to call to me through the mirror and tell me of a way to save them. I want something I can do to change it...and I can't. No amount of wishing brought Sam back. And it only got me into more trouble, running off after Rumplestilstkin, and digging up the graveyard--and I put Peter in danger, too, running off that way--and...and I just made a mess of things, trying to help and only doing more harm.
And they're not here to take care of me anymore. Sam isn't here to drive my nightmares away. Blue isn't here to come to my rescue. It's just me, and everyone that's worried about me...and if I'm not careful, I'll just drag all of them into danger chasing after me.
September--almost a year now, since the prison exploded. And August is always such a terrible month. Is it happening again? Am I going to make all the wrong choices again, and have nothing to show for it but heartache?
Is there really such a thing as doing something by not doing anything at all?
[/Private]
Thank you again to everyone that offered help with trying to catch Snowdrop the other day. We did manage to coax her out, in the end, and she and Prince are both safely back at the Warehouse now. Prince is settling in well--which I suppose is only natural, since we brought his whole bowl and everything with him, so the only thing that's really changed for him is the view outside his glass--and seems content enough. Snowdrop has taken to avoiding me, I think, but I know she's been eating the food I've been setting out for her, and I've seen flashes of white fur every so often, so I think she's still just getting used to being in a new place. There are certainly plenty of places for her to hide around here, and if she'd rather not be found, then that's all right, too.
...I think there's a curse out today, if all the, er, odd things outside are any indication. So it seems we're back to our usual variety of curses. I remember having the last one once before, when we all went to school and took tests and then had a ball to celebrate; this time was a bit different, but it was still just as busy and silly as before. But I suppose it's harmless, really, and I hope that today's curse is just as harmless, even if it is a bit...strange.
I shouldn't ask, bu
Please, I know there's a curse, but could som
I don't want to be alone right no
Do you suppose it's too ridiculous outside to go for a walk today, or would it be better to just stay in, instead?