la cha la cha ta ta~
Way back in July I took advantage of an anon fic meme to write my first 2PM fic, and since then I keep on forgetting to post it up here. So I'm going to do it now! This was originally posted here, but in this version I editted some typos and wrong tenses and stuff! :> I went overboard with the length though, it's about 2,950 argh.
EDIT 09/27: Okay now all the tenses and stuff have been fixed. I accidentally uploaded the first draft version and didn't notice until like, five minutes ago. Yikes!
Request:
Who: anyone in 2PM.
What: no sex, no typical homophobic!horny!gay!jaebum; please make it different from like 99% of the 2PM fics out there... puppy!khun is okay though. au would be freaking awesome.
Rating: anything.
i am really desperate lol. but i don't think this is too demanding. :(
"I'm going to kill you for this," Jay hissed to Taecyeon, as soon as the woman left. "I'm going to stab a hole in your stomach and puke over your intestines. I'm going to beat you up and roll you up in an ugly carpet and toss you into a dumpster. I'm going to shave your eyebrows off while you're asleep."
"Woah, hey, that's going a bit too far," Junsu said, alarmed.
"He deserves it," Jay scowled. "Look at us. Look at what we're doing."
"And you're blaming me for this?" Taecyeon asked, incredulous. "You were the one who wanted to come here in the first place!"
"NOT FOR SOMETHING LIKE THIS!" Jay whisper-screamed, and punched Taecyeon in the shoulder, hard. "I fucking hate you all," he said, covering his head with his arms. "When we get out of this place, I'm never speaking to any of you again. Ever. Got that?"
"Let's sing Happy Birthday now then," Wooyoung suggested.
Okay, to the best of Taecyeon's knowledge (some disclaimers apply), they were currently sitting in a sub-basement under the club that Jay had wanted to go to that evening: Phantasie. The place had opened up recently, oozing out class and sophistication, propagated by good word-of-mouth, and apparently the girls were flocking towards it in droves (or so Jay claimed, but some disclaimers applied there too). "It's my birthday," Jay had said, a few hours ago, back when they were deciding whether dressing up to check out the club was worth the effort or not. "And if I want to surround myself with an army of hot girls, then that's what we're going to do." Well, when he said it like that, who could argue?
Except once they'd stepped into the place, it was quite obvious that it was not exactly the girl-heaven that Jay had been promising. It was, in the sense that there were girls. Lots of girls. Many of them were hot girls. But they weren't taking any notice of the five of them. They were all milling around a small stage with velvet red curtains, chatting and laughing and sipping drinks and what the hell? There wasn't a single guy in sight. There was no club atmosphere: no one was dancing, although there was an inexplicable feeling of excitement in the air. Maybe everyone was waiting for something? A performance?
"Uh," Taec remembered saying, after however many minutes of them just standing there like idiots.
"This is weird," Wooyoung had said, head swivelling from side to side. "It's not just me, is it? This place is weird."
"There's not some ladies' night promotion going on, is there?" Junho had asked, eyeing Jay suspiciously.
"How the hell am I supposed to know?" Jay scowled. He was looking a bit uncomfortable too. "Let's just get something to drink."
"Hey, you guys," someone had called from behind them. "Why are you up on the main floor? The show hasn't started yet." Taecyeon had turned around to face a tall, burly guy wearing a headset and holding a clipboard. "Get downstairs, the makeup artists are waiting for you!"
"Wait," Taecyeon had said, holding up his arms. "I don't think we're--" but the guy was already shoving Taec and the others towards the staircase, and was this dude a wrestler or something? How was he so strong? "Hey, wait! We're not--"
"Go to the third room, it's got some free space," the man directed them, and left.
"BOYS BOYS BOYS," a small woman with mad hair came flying at them, waving a walkie-talkie. "ARE YOU THE NEW RECRUITS! YOU'RE LATE! GET YOUR MAKEUP DONE NOW PLEASE!" She opened the door to room three and booted them inside.
The next thing Taec knew, he was sitting on a chair with a bib tied around his neck and there were two ladies attacking his face with brushes and powder. Jay was screaming somewhere from the other side of the room but the panic had slurred his Korean into incomprehensible gibberish. Junsu and Junho were vehemently protesting whatever was being done to them (something involving tight pants and personal space), but apparently the people here were used to that kind of behaviour or something because their cries of distress were getting totally ignored. Wooyoung was whining, "I just wanted to have fuuun, what is happening, I don't like thiiis," as a middle-aged woman stabbed at his eyes with a black pencil.
Oh my God, Taec had thought. We've been kidnapped by the circus.
There was a large mirror on the wall in front of Taec and from it, Taec caught the eye of a guy who was sitting on another chair to his left. He had the biggest pair of eyebrows Taec had ever seen.
"Hi," the guy said brightly. "You're new here?" He was doing a remarkable job of keeping his face straight as a lady was scrubbing his cheeks so hard it looked like she was polishing silverware.
"I don't think I'm supposed to be here at all," Taec answered, as people flurried around him too. Wait, what was that that lady murmured? Teeth? He thought he heard her say something about this teeth. Taec closed his mouth.
"That's what Chansungie said at first too," the guy with the eyebrows nodded. "But now he's a regular. I think it's because he can get so much free food."
Because there was nothing wrong with Taec's teeth, thanks, and damned if he was -- wait, back up. "They give you free food here?" Taec asked, attention snagged.
"Well, of course," the guy laughed. "You work here, right? They have to feed you."
Dammit, now Taec wanted more details. "What exactly are we expected to do--"
But his question was cut off by Junho's scream of horror. "THIS IS A HOST CLUB?!"
See, now that explained a lot.
A group of women had actually bought them. Them. Jay, Junsu, Wooyoung, and Taec. Honestly, it was a surprise, and Taec felt flattered. He didn't know the hourly rate for this place, but the fact that people shelled out money at all for his company was kind of mind-blowing. Taecyeon's older sister had always told him that the day that he actually bagged a woman with the kind of personality that Taec had, she was going to eat her hair, but see, now Taecyeon had proof that she was just being a snotty bitch. He had to think of a way to get a camera picture of all the women here, that would show her. Seriously. Taec felt like a pimp and it was pretty fucking awesome.
He'd learned that this place worked sort of like an auction. A guy would step onto the stage after being introduced (no one had asked them for their names and Taecyeon found out why after the announcer called him out as "The Beastly Prince"), and women would raise a small sign, each bearing a number. There weren't any prices said aloud, but gradually the number of women holding up their signs would diminish until only one remained. And then the guy would have to follow her to her table.
Jay and Wooyoung had tried to run out the back door as soon as their makeup had been finished, but the staff were having none of it and practically frog marched them to take their positions in line, behind the stage curtain. There had been about ten of them there, including eyebrow-guy, who Taec now knew as Nichkhun, and another tall boy with thick eyeliner who was eating a banana, who Taec assumed was Nichkhun's friend Chansung. Junsu and Junho were in the middle of hatching an escape plan when Taecyeon had deigned to peek out from the edge of the curtains and saw the small front floor, packed with women. Women, waiting for guys. Waiting for them.
Taec had waved for the others to get a good look at the crowd too. Junsu let out an impressed whistle.
"We're going to get bought," Junho had said flatly.
"By women," Junsu added.
"Nevertheless. Bought."
"Are they going to pay for our meals?" Wooyoung asked.
"Apparently," Taec said.
"Anything we want?" Wooyoung said, eyebrows shooting up.
"Why are you asking us?" Taec hit him. "It's not like we know anything."
"Anything you want," Nichkhun called, smiling over at them. "Chansung, tell them."
"Anything," the boy named Chansung shrugged.
"This place is called Phantasie for a reason," Nichkhun said.
"See, at least we get food out of it," Taec nudged Junho, but Junho had only glared. "Geez, lighten up," Taec had reassured him. "What's the worst that could happen?"
Though maybe Junho had had adequate cause to be worried after all because as soon as he'd stepped onto the stage, all the waiting women in the audience had exploded into a frenzy that immediately made Taec think of piranha. There had been a lot of shrieking and sobbing, lots of "HE LOOKS LIKE RAIN!" and "OH MY GOD, RAIN," and "LOOK AT THAT ASS!!" and Taec was pretty sure one of the wolder women sitting up front fainted. Junho, thoroughly caught off guard by the enthusiasm to his presence, had meekly bowed his head and got as far as, "Hi, my name is--" before a woman jumped onto the stage and dragged him away, slapping a fistful of bills into the hands of burly-armed-headset-guy, standing at the edge of the curtains.
Taec wasn't above taking pleasure from Junho's pain, but wasn't laughing for long before The Beastly Prince was being introduced and someone gave him a violent shove from behind to push onto the stage. In his sudden panic Taec had grabbed onto Jay, who'd grabbed onto Junsu, who then tripped into Wooyoung, and the four of them ended up sprawled in a huge pile on the ground as the curtain lifted, spotlight on their faces. Jay's hand was on Taec's butt and Junsu's and Wooyoung's lips had been dangerously close to each other.
There had been dead silence from the crowd.
Then someone had shrieked, "FULL PRICE!" and that was that.
So there they were: Jay's birthday entourage (sans Junho), sitting awkwardly with a group of ten women who, frankly, were a little too old for Taecyeon's tastes, but they weren't like, butt ugly or anything, so he supposed it was okay. Conversation was stilted on their part, but it was pratically absent on the women's side of the table. They seemed more interested in staring at the four of them and giggling behind their hands than talking. It was totally freaky but once the food arrived, Taecyeon really didn't give a crap.
"What healthy appetites," one of the women cooed as they ate, clasping her hands together.
"Growing boys," another one had agreed.
"Worth every penny," another one said, and Jay had given Taecyeon a congratulatory jab in the gut with his elbow.
The food was amazing enough that Taecyeon was seriously thinking of taking Nichkhun's advice and become an employee of this place. Taecyeon was just a poor college student, and meals as lavish as this one were few and far between. How hard could it be to be a host? If all the women did was watch you eat with huge, sparkly eyes and rapturous expressions, then hell yeah Taecyeon could get used to this. The other guys seeme to be okay with it too, if a bit at a loss how to treat the women who'd purchased them. But the women weren't complaining about anything, so maybe they were getting things right?
No, they weren't getting things right. Because after the last of the food had been finished and the plates had cleared away, one of the women clapped loudly and grinned at them, showing more teeth than Taecyeon did when he smiled.
"Well! Now that you lovely boys have your energy built up, shall we get on with the evening's events?"
"What?" Jay said.
"Well, we bought you, right? You're ours for the night! So now you're going to fulfill our fantasies!" She bent down to retrieve a large bag and from it, pulled out a schoolgirl's uniform. "You're the shortest, dear, so you'll wear this one."
"What?" Jay repeated.
"No no no no no," Jay said, pacing back and forth in their private room. "I didn't sign up for this. This was not in the plan. We were supposed to eat, get fawned over by the ladies, then make a glamourous exit like the fly bitches we are. Not get ourselves involved in this-- this--"
"Fetish game?" Wooyoung supplied. Jay chucked his watch at him. "Ow!"
"It's my birthday!" Jay yelled, covering his face. "HOW DID YOU IDIOTS GET ME INTO THIS SITUATION?!"
"For the last time!" Junsu shouted back. "It's none of our faults! We just got swept up into this. And Taec's right, it was your idea to come here in the first pl-- OW, HEY." Wooyoung had thrown Jay's watch at Junsu's head.
There was a knock on the door. "Are you boys getting dressed alright?" Oh God, it was the scary woman. The one who had pulled Junsu and Taec by the ears to get them into the changing room, despite being half their height. The one who'd tossed the bag of costumes in after them, telling them to get dressed or else. Taec had no idea what the punishment was for disobeying the patrons here, but from that woman's glare, he was sure that it would be painful in all of his most private places.
"Okay, so," Jay said, in a softer voice, "what are we gonna do? We're just gonna do what they want? Act out some schmoopy high school drama scene? Then they'll let us go home, right?"
"I don't want to wear this," Wooyoung moaned, holding up his sexy librarian skirt.
"You don't have the butt to fill it out," Junsu said. "Where's Junho when you need that kid?"
"He got mobbed by mad Rain fans," Taecyeon reminded them. "They dragged him away, and I think they were pawing at his clothes." Belatedly, he added, "I'm sure he's fine."
"He's dead to us," Jay said immediately. "We can only be concerned with our own safety now. We need to get out of here. No way am I wearing this school girl shit. I'm a man! I'm Park Jaebeom! I don't want to get molested by old hussies!"
"Oh my God," Taec said, "do you hear yourself talk? You're making it worse; stop freaking everyone else out."
"A pleated skirt, Taec," Jay said. "It's just begging for--"
"I'M GIVING YOU BOYS FIVE MORE MINUTES BEFORE I DRAG YOU OUT OF THERE MYSELF," the crazy lady screamed.
"She's going to rip our balls off, isn't she?" Wooyoung whimpered, covering his crotch with his hands. "I'm gonna get dressed guys, I don't care. That lady is too scary for me."
"No you idiot!" Jay hissed. "If you do it, then we'll all have to do it! At least if we all rebel, we'll suffer the fallout together!"
"This stuff is pretty risque," Junsu voiced, flipping through the script that they'd been giving. "I think it's a lesbian drama."
"THEN WHY ARE THEY GETTING MEN TO ACT IT OUT?!"
Someone opened the door. They all froze.
It was Nichkhun.
"You guys are being seriously loud," he said, shutting the door behind him. "You're upsetting my clients in the next room."
"Nichkhun," Taec sighed, relieved. "You've got to get us out of here. Those women want us to dress up like girls and make out with each other."
"Then you should get out the lipstick," Nichkhun deadpanned. "Those women bought you and you have to do what they say."
"I KNEW YOU WERE TOO PRETTY TO BE ONE OF US," Jay said.
Nichkhun laughed. "Okay, I'm just kidding. I met your friend Junho, and he explained everything to me. Chansung's distracting your clients right now, so if you're quiet I can sneak you out of here."
"Seriously?" Wooyoung jumped out of his seat, looking ecstatic. "You can save us?"
"Well, I'll do my best," Nichkhun smiled. "Come on." He opened the door and waved them out, putting a finger to his lips. As they tiptoed out of the changing room, Taec could see the group of women who'd bought them standing in a circle around Chansung, who was doing a hip hop dance to the music being played in the club.
"Chansung's keeping all ten of those women occupied?" Junsu hissed. "How?!"
"He's good at what he does," Nichkhun said proudly.
"I'm better at dancing than that guy," Jay muttered, and Taec reached forward to flick him on the back of the skull. "Ow, dammit!"
"Shut up! You're going to get us caught!"
But they didn't get caught. When they finally made it upstairs, past burly-armed-guard standing near the exit (he looked like he was about to pass out drunk), out the door, and out onto the street, Taecyeon actually felt like cheering. After that oppressive atmosphere in the host club, the night air had never felt so cool and freeing.
"Fucking finally," Jay sighed, raising his fists in the air.
"Thanks for your help man," Taec said, shaking Nichkhun's hand. "We really owe you one."
"I know," Nichkhun nodded. "You'll be back to work off your debt, right?"
"Uh," Taec said.
"Right! I knew you would! I'll look forward to see you guys!"
"Um."
"Woah, everyone's here," Junho said, bursting through the front door. "I had the most amazing time ever." His shirt was buttoned up the wrong way, his hair was a mess, and he was holding a bunch of panties in one hand and two bras in the other. "We have to come back here again."
"BUT IT WAS MY BIRTHDAY," Jay screamed.
end.
EDIT 09/27: Okay now all the tenses and stuff have been fixed. I accidentally uploaded the first draft version and didn't notice until like, five minutes ago. Yikes!
Request:
Who: anyone in 2PM.
What: no sex, no typical homophobic!horny!gay!jaebum; please make it different from like 99% of the 2PM fics out there... puppy!khun is okay though. au would be freaking awesome.
Rating: anything.
i am really desperate lol. but i don't think this is too demanding. :(
"I'm going to kill you for this," Jay hissed to Taecyeon, as soon as the woman left. "I'm going to stab a hole in your stomach and puke over your intestines. I'm going to beat you up and roll you up in an ugly carpet and toss you into a dumpster. I'm going to shave your eyebrows off while you're asleep."
"Woah, hey, that's going a bit too far," Junsu said, alarmed.
"He deserves it," Jay scowled. "Look at us. Look at what we're doing."
"And you're blaming me for this?" Taecyeon asked, incredulous. "You were the one who wanted to come here in the first place!"
"NOT FOR SOMETHING LIKE THIS!" Jay whisper-screamed, and punched Taecyeon in the shoulder, hard. "I fucking hate you all," he said, covering his head with his arms. "When we get out of this place, I'm never speaking to any of you again. Ever. Got that?"
"Let's sing Happy Birthday now then," Wooyoung suggested.
Okay, to the best of Taecyeon's knowledge (some disclaimers apply), they were currently sitting in a sub-basement under the club that Jay had wanted to go to that evening: Phantasie. The place had opened up recently, oozing out class and sophistication, propagated by good word-of-mouth, and apparently the girls were flocking towards it in droves (or so Jay claimed, but some disclaimers applied there too). "It's my birthday," Jay had said, a few hours ago, back when they were deciding whether dressing up to check out the club was worth the effort or not. "And if I want to surround myself with an army of hot girls, then that's what we're going to do." Well, when he said it like that, who could argue?
Except once they'd stepped into the place, it was quite obvious that it was not exactly the girl-heaven that Jay had been promising. It was, in the sense that there were girls. Lots of girls. Many of them were hot girls. But they weren't taking any notice of the five of them. They were all milling around a small stage with velvet red curtains, chatting and laughing and sipping drinks and what the hell? There wasn't a single guy in sight. There was no club atmosphere: no one was dancing, although there was an inexplicable feeling of excitement in the air. Maybe everyone was waiting for something? A performance?
"Uh," Taec remembered saying, after however many minutes of them just standing there like idiots.
"This is weird," Wooyoung had said, head swivelling from side to side. "It's not just me, is it? This place is weird."
"There's not some ladies' night promotion going on, is there?" Junho had asked, eyeing Jay suspiciously.
"How the hell am I supposed to know?" Jay scowled. He was looking a bit uncomfortable too. "Let's just get something to drink."
"Hey, you guys," someone had called from behind them. "Why are you up on the main floor? The show hasn't started yet." Taecyeon had turned around to face a tall, burly guy wearing a headset and holding a clipboard. "Get downstairs, the makeup artists are waiting for you!"
"Wait," Taecyeon had said, holding up his arms. "I don't think we're--" but the guy was already shoving Taec and the others towards the staircase, and was this dude a wrestler or something? How was he so strong? "Hey, wait! We're not--"
"Go to the third room, it's got some free space," the man directed them, and left.
"BOYS BOYS BOYS," a small woman with mad hair came flying at them, waving a walkie-talkie. "ARE YOU THE NEW RECRUITS! YOU'RE LATE! GET YOUR MAKEUP DONE NOW PLEASE!" She opened the door to room three and booted them inside.
The next thing Taec knew, he was sitting on a chair with a bib tied around his neck and there were two ladies attacking his face with brushes and powder. Jay was screaming somewhere from the other side of the room but the panic had slurred his Korean into incomprehensible gibberish. Junsu and Junho were vehemently protesting whatever was being done to them (something involving tight pants and personal space), but apparently the people here were used to that kind of behaviour or something because their cries of distress were getting totally ignored. Wooyoung was whining, "I just wanted to have fuuun, what is happening, I don't like thiiis," as a middle-aged woman stabbed at his eyes with a black pencil.
Oh my God, Taec had thought. We've been kidnapped by the circus.
There was a large mirror on the wall in front of Taec and from it, Taec caught the eye of a guy who was sitting on another chair to his left. He had the biggest pair of eyebrows Taec had ever seen.
"Hi," the guy said brightly. "You're new here?" He was doing a remarkable job of keeping his face straight as a lady was scrubbing his cheeks so hard it looked like she was polishing silverware.
"I don't think I'm supposed to be here at all," Taec answered, as people flurried around him too. Wait, what was that that lady murmured? Teeth? He thought he heard her say something about this teeth. Taec closed his mouth.
"That's what Chansungie said at first too," the guy with the eyebrows nodded. "But now he's a regular. I think it's because he can get so much free food."
Because there was nothing wrong with Taec's teeth, thanks, and damned if he was -- wait, back up. "They give you free food here?" Taec asked, attention snagged.
"Well, of course," the guy laughed. "You work here, right? They have to feed you."
Dammit, now Taec wanted more details. "What exactly are we expected to do--"
But his question was cut off by Junho's scream of horror. "THIS IS A HOST CLUB?!"
See, now that explained a lot.
A group of women had actually bought them. Them. Jay, Junsu, Wooyoung, and Taec. Honestly, it was a surprise, and Taec felt flattered. He didn't know the hourly rate for this place, but the fact that people shelled out money at all for his company was kind of mind-blowing. Taecyeon's older sister had always told him that the day that he actually bagged a woman with the kind of personality that Taec had, she was going to eat her hair, but see, now Taecyeon had proof that she was just being a snotty bitch. He had to think of a way to get a camera picture of all the women here, that would show her. Seriously. Taec felt like a pimp and it was pretty fucking awesome.
He'd learned that this place worked sort of like an auction. A guy would step onto the stage after being introduced (no one had asked them for their names and Taecyeon found out why after the announcer called him out as "The Beastly Prince"), and women would raise a small sign, each bearing a number. There weren't any prices said aloud, but gradually the number of women holding up their signs would diminish until only one remained. And then the guy would have to follow her to her table.
Jay and Wooyoung had tried to run out the back door as soon as their makeup had been finished, but the staff were having none of it and practically frog marched them to take their positions in line, behind the stage curtain. There had been about ten of them there, including eyebrow-guy, who Taec now knew as Nichkhun, and another tall boy with thick eyeliner who was eating a banana, who Taec assumed was Nichkhun's friend Chansung. Junsu and Junho were in the middle of hatching an escape plan when Taecyeon had deigned to peek out from the edge of the curtains and saw the small front floor, packed with women. Women, waiting for guys. Waiting for them.
Taec had waved for the others to get a good look at the crowd too. Junsu let out an impressed whistle.
"We're going to get bought," Junho had said flatly.
"By women," Junsu added.
"Nevertheless. Bought."
"Are they going to pay for our meals?" Wooyoung asked.
"Apparently," Taec said.
"Anything we want?" Wooyoung said, eyebrows shooting up.
"Why are you asking us?" Taec hit him. "It's not like we know anything."
"Anything you want," Nichkhun called, smiling over at them. "Chansung, tell them."
"Anything," the boy named Chansung shrugged.
"This place is called Phantasie for a reason," Nichkhun said.
"See, at least we get food out of it," Taec nudged Junho, but Junho had only glared. "Geez, lighten up," Taec had reassured him. "What's the worst that could happen?"
Though maybe Junho had had adequate cause to be worried after all because as soon as he'd stepped onto the stage, all the waiting women in the audience had exploded into a frenzy that immediately made Taec think of piranha. There had been a lot of shrieking and sobbing, lots of "HE LOOKS LIKE RAIN!" and "OH MY GOD, RAIN," and "LOOK AT THAT ASS!!" and Taec was pretty sure one of the wolder women sitting up front fainted. Junho, thoroughly caught off guard by the enthusiasm to his presence, had meekly bowed his head and got as far as, "Hi, my name is--" before a woman jumped onto the stage and dragged him away, slapping a fistful of bills into the hands of burly-armed-headset-guy, standing at the edge of the curtains.
Taec wasn't above taking pleasure from Junho's pain, but wasn't laughing for long before The Beastly Prince was being introduced and someone gave him a violent shove from behind to push onto the stage. In his sudden panic Taec had grabbed onto Jay, who'd grabbed onto Junsu, who then tripped into Wooyoung, and the four of them ended up sprawled in a huge pile on the ground as the curtain lifted, spotlight on their faces. Jay's hand was on Taec's butt and Junsu's and Wooyoung's lips had been dangerously close to each other.
There had been dead silence from the crowd.
Then someone had shrieked, "FULL PRICE!" and that was that.
So there they were: Jay's birthday entourage (sans Junho), sitting awkwardly with a group of ten women who, frankly, were a little too old for Taecyeon's tastes, but they weren't like, butt ugly or anything, so he supposed it was okay. Conversation was stilted on their part, but it was pratically absent on the women's side of the table. They seemed more interested in staring at the four of them and giggling behind their hands than talking. It was totally freaky but once the food arrived, Taecyeon really didn't give a crap.
"What healthy appetites," one of the women cooed as they ate, clasping her hands together.
"Growing boys," another one had agreed.
"Worth every penny," another one said, and Jay had given Taecyeon a congratulatory jab in the gut with his elbow.
The food was amazing enough that Taecyeon was seriously thinking of taking Nichkhun's advice and become an employee of this place. Taecyeon was just a poor college student, and meals as lavish as this one were few and far between. How hard could it be to be a host? If all the women did was watch you eat with huge, sparkly eyes and rapturous expressions, then hell yeah Taecyeon could get used to this. The other guys seeme to be okay with it too, if a bit at a loss how to treat the women who'd purchased them. But the women weren't complaining about anything, so maybe they were getting things right?
No, they weren't getting things right. Because after the last of the food had been finished and the plates had cleared away, one of the women clapped loudly and grinned at them, showing more teeth than Taecyeon did when he smiled.
"Well! Now that you lovely boys have your energy built up, shall we get on with the evening's events?"
"What?" Jay said.
"Well, we bought you, right? You're ours for the night! So now you're going to fulfill our fantasies!" She bent down to retrieve a large bag and from it, pulled out a schoolgirl's uniform. "You're the shortest, dear, so you'll wear this one."
"What?" Jay repeated.
"No no no no no," Jay said, pacing back and forth in their private room. "I didn't sign up for this. This was not in the plan. We were supposed to eat, get fawned over by the ladies, then make a glamourous exit like the fly bitches we are. Not get ourselves involved in this-- this--"
"Fetish game?" Wooyoung supplied. Jay chucked his watch at him. "Ow!"
"It's my birthday!" Jay yelled, covering his face. "HOW DID YOU IDIOTS GET ME INTO THIS SITUATION?!"
"For the last time!" Junsu shouted back. "It's none of our faults! We just got swept up into this. And Taec's right, it was your idea to come here in the first pl-- OW, HEY." Wooyoung had thrown Jay's watch at Junsu's head.
There was a knock on the door. "Are you boys getting dressed alright?" Oh God, it was the scary woman. The one who had pulled Junsu and Taec by the ears to get them into the changing room, despite being half their height. The one who'd tossed the bag of costumes in after them, telling them to get dressed or else. Taec had no idea what the punishment was for disobeying the patrons here, but from that woman's glare, he was sure that it would be painful in all of his most private places.
"Okay, so," Jay said, in a softer voice, "what are we gonna do? We're just gonna do what they want? Act out some schmoopy high school drama scene? Then they'll let us go home, right?"
"I don't want to wear this," Wooyoung moaned, holding up his sexy librarian skirt.
"You don't have the butt to fill it out," Junsu said. "Where's Junho when you need that kid?"
"He got mobbed by mad Rain fans," Taecyeon reminded them. "They dragged him away, and I think they were pawing at his clothes." Belatedly, he added, "I'm sure he's fine."
"He's dead to us," Jay said immediately. "We can only be concerned with our own safety now. We need to get out of here. No way am I wearing this school girl shit. I'm a man! I'm Park Jaebeom! I don't want to get molested by old hussies!"
"Oh my God," Taec said, "do you hear yourself talk? You're making it worse; stop freaking everyone else out."
"A pleated skirt, Taec," Jay said. "It's just begging for--"
"I'M GIVING YOU BOYS FIVE MORE MINUTES BEFORE I DRAG YOU OUT OF THERE MYSELF," the crazy lady screamed.
"She's going to rip our balls off, isn't she?" Wooyoung whimpered, covering his crotch with his hands. "I'm gonna get dressed guys, I don't care. That lady is too scary for me."
"No you idiot!" Jay hissed. "If you do it, then we'll all have to do it! At least if we all rebel, we'll suffer the fallout together!"
"This stuff is pretty risque," Junsu voiced, flipping through the script that they'd been giving. "I think it's a lesbian drama."
"THEN WHY ARE THEY GETTING MEN TO ACT IT OUT?!"
Someone opened the door. They all froze.
It was Nichkhun.
"You guys are being seriously loud," he said, shutting the door behind him. "You're upsetting my clients in the next room."
"Nichkhun," Taec sighed, relieved. "You've got to get us out of here. Those women want us to dress up like girls and make out with each other."
"Then you should get out the lipstick," Nichkhun deadpanned. "Those women bought you and you have to do what they say."
"I KNEW YOU WERE TOO PRETTY TO BE ONE OF US," Jay said.
Nichkhun laughed. "Okay, I'm just kidding. I met your friend Junho, and he explained everything to me. Chansung's distracting your clients right now, so if you're quiet I can sneak you out of here."
"Seriously?" Wooyoung jumped out of his seat, looking ecstatic. "You can save us?"
"Well, I'll do my best," Nichkhun smiled. "Come on." He opened the door and waved them out, putting a finger to his lips. As they tiptoed out of the changing room, Taec could see the group of women who'd bought them standing in a circle around Chansung, who was doing a hip hop dance to the music being played in the club.
"Chansung's keeping all ten of those women occupied?" Junsu hissed. "How?!"
"He's good at what he does," Nichkhun said proudly.
"I'm better at dancing than that guy," Jay muttered, and Taec reached forward to flick him on the back of the skull. "Ow, dammit!"
"Shut up! You're going to get us caught!"
But they didn't get caught. When they finally made it upstairs, past burly-armed-guard standing near the exit (he looked like he was about to pass out drunk), out the door, and out onto the street, Taecyeon actually felt like cheering. After that oppressive atmosphere in the host club, the night air had never felt so cool and freeing.
"Fucking finally," Jay sighed, raising his fists in the air.
"Thanks for your help man," Taec said, shaking Nichkhun's hand. "We really owe you one."
"I know," Nichkhun nodded. "You'll be back to work off your debt, right?"
"Uh," Taec said.
"Right! I knew you would! I'll look forward to see you guys!"
"Um."
"Woah, everyone's here," Junho said, bursting through the front door. "I had the most amazing time ever." His shirt was buttoned up the wrong way, his hair was a mess, and he was holding a bunch of panties in one hand and two bras in the other. "We have to come back here again."
"BUT IT WAS MY BIRTHDAY," Jay screamed.
end.