[OOC] Questions Meme

[primesdontparty]

ASK A QUESTION it can be anything CFUD related, OOC, IC, First Impressions, Relationship, psychology, thoughts, whatever. i.e. My character's opinion of your character or maybe what you have been wondering about this behavior or that, or general thoughts on my characters or canons or whatever drabbles and pics, what have you, etc.

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[godwinner]

So Erik told Leto that he wants ugly things from him but also likes him and that was a very honest statement. There is basically not a single motivation that Erik has regarding Leto that is admirable, but completely aside from those, he's strongly drawn to Leto and likes being with him. Obviously, part of that is that he's very unique, but Erik also likes the philosophical nature of him and, let's face it, he wouldn't be in love with Charles Xavier if he didn't like trolls. He doesn't always appreciate when it's directed at him, but something that's been true since their first conversation is that he does appreciate the challenge. Erik is fairly self-aware for someone so damaged, and he refuses to stick to his beliefs blindly, so even if Leto pisses him off or makes him uncomfortable because he's said something true that Erik doesn't like, it doesn't take long for Erik to assimilate that into his belief system, to justify and rationalise. ERIK IS PRETTY AMAZING AT NOT LETTING PEOPLE FIX HIM, OKAY. That said, the fact of Leto caring enough to try does make a difference in a general sense that Erik can't rationalise away, because as with Charles (and Lorna, to an extent) his biggest "weakness" is the people he loves and his desire to be with them at the expense of his ideals.

And he already kind of loves Leto. He was attracted from the very beginning, first because he was predisposed toward that face (though it very quickly became Leto's face and Charles's face remained Charles's so that he doesn't even really think about that anymore), and second because of the wormskin. And then he couldn't help but push himself closer. And now they are where they are, and yeah, Erik doesn't really do things by halves.

Any thoughts on recent events?

[windicated]

So their recent thread has been pretty good in terms of Leto's development. Leto has never accepted personally affections. In his entire time in camp, he has ignored them, rejected them and generally trolled the fuck out of anyone who comes at him. But Leto himself is changing, even if he hasn't really realized it. Leto has become lonely, caged. He started feeling like he never mattered and spent most of his time in an empty cabin because everyone had left him. So, he stopped being as defensive and closed-off as he usually was. He started allowing people in, making more than generous allowances into his life.

Erik is... not really one of those allowances. Leto likes him because he feels there's so much he can do for Erik, and there is potential on him. At the same time, there's nothing quite as delightful as fucking with someone who has ties to another McAvoy.

BUT! Recent thread shows that his affections for Erik are a lot deeper. Like Peter put it, Leto is very much shouldering a crush because Erik says things about him Leto never expected to hear, but they're also things he's always longed for. So he was upset, he lashed out angrily and it hurt even more when Erik just said "Do what you're supposed to". It stung not mostly because it was true, but because Leto was slowly going against all the things he said he wasn't allowed to have.

Soo, in essence, Leto gave up, gave in and offered himself in judgement. He doesn't want to fight, he wants to feel, he is ... weary? Of fighting something that he wants because it's hard and he hasn't really mastered that kind of willpower yet. And he's worried because it's going to destroy him, hence his wish to die.

GOD DID THAT MAKE SENSE PLEASE TELL ME.

[godwinner]

IT MAKES PERFECT SENSE OH LETO

Oh, I suppose this would be a good time to talk about the comparison, too. Like I said before, I knew from their first conversation that Erik would someday make that comparison and it would... probably not go over well. AND HOW. Erik's kind of been circling the thought for a while now, deciding how he feels about it, where they're different and where they're the same. Because Leto claims to be a god, and Erik doesn't feel particularly inclined to disagree with him on that point, but Magneto's been called a megalomaniac for a reason, lol.

Erik doesn't feel like he's been given much choice in the matter, because to him his sacrifices go back to his mother and everything he lost as a victim of the Holocaust and Shaw, which made him into what he is. It's something that's an inextricable part of him even if it's not visible on his skin like with, say, Leto, or Raven. (He wishes it were, he genuinely wishes that, physical evidence that he's not human.) He does view what he did to Charles as another sacrifice in that vein -- one he never wanted or intended, but is an inevitable consequence and reminder of what he is. And if he can't change that, then... well, he'll do what he's meant to do. He'll be the devil and everyone will hate him for it. (One of the simultaneously wonderful and dismaying things about Camp for him has been meeting all of the babymutants -- they are all so remarkable, and they pretty much universally distrust him. That hurts. A lot. But now that he's experienced that he also sees the inevitability of it as well, and he won't change it if it means he can stop what's been done to them.)