And meanwhile meanwhile, at the Pit...
* A large delegation of Very Important People are gathered in front of several covered forms. In front of them stand several of the leading members of the G.I Joe team. General Hawk steps to the podium in front of him, a broad smile on his face. He looks back at his team, a temporary swell of pride muted by the fact that, with Shipwreck and Airtight present, it looks more like a Village People reunion than an elite fighting force. Still, he clears his throat.
[Hawk] Ladies and gentlemen, this project has been years in the making. For a long time, Cobra has gained the upper hand on us for a variety of reasons...
* Meanwhile, in orbit above, a large meteor begins to enter the atmosphere.
[Hawk] We have invested many resources in our latest creation.
[Senator] Tell me General, is this yet another weapon that will break into three convenient pieces, which will, with equal convenience, fall to different climates of the Earth, so you can use all of your special troops and justify yet another increase to your budget?
[Hawk] We're... not at the time for questions, yet.
[Reporter] But, General Hawk, isn't it true that you DO employ a number of... curious operatives?
[Hawk] No, that's--
* The projectile is now slightly visible on the horizon.
[Pentagon Official] I mean, you have a team of ninjas! NINJAS! And that sailor, and a kung fu master, a samurai, William "Refrigerator" and a guy who wears a football jersey all the time and has NEVER played football... and I'm pretty sure he's... um... differently abled.
[Bazooka] I LIKE PIE WITH MASHED POTATOES!
[Comic Shop Owner] And what about the guy in the Hawaiian shirt? What's HIS deal?
[Hawk] That's Chuckles. He's our disguise guy.
[Comic Shop Owner] In a Hawaiian shirt?
[Hawk] And he NEVER talks. What's your point?
[Comic Shop Owner] That's the worst operative ever.
[Fanboy] Tell 'em, Steve Dave.
[Hawk] Well, look! This is going to change everything! Behind me is... BATTLE FORCE 2000!
[Senator] It's 2007, General.
[Hawk] But it'll change the way we fight. These vehicles... *the covers are pulled off* ...will change--
[Reporter] Is that a meteor?
[Hawk] Heh... no, dear. We call that one the Pulverizer...
* The meteor crashes into the vehicles, destroying them. A moment later, a silver robot rises from the wreckage and walks away. Bazooka runs after it.
[Bazooka] EXCUSE ME, ARE YOU THE TOOTH FAIRY????
[Hawk] I hate Transformers. *realizes the mic still works* The... uh... the mechanical part. Transformers. They uh... oh, I am SO going to see this on the front pages tomorrow....
[Hawk] Ladies and gentlemen, this project has been years in the making. For a long time, Cobra has gained the upper hand on us for a variety of reasons...
* Meanwhile, in orbit above, a large meteor begins to enter the atmosphere.
[Hawk] We have invested many resources in our latest creation.
[Senator] Tell me General, is this yet another weapon that will break into three convenient pieces, which will, with equal convenience, fall to different climates of the Earth, so you can use all of your special troops and justify yet another increase to your budget?
[Hawk] We're... not at the time for questions, yet.
[Reporter] But, General Hawk, isn't it true that you DO employ a number of... curious operatives?
[Hawk] No, that's--
* The projectile is now slightly visible on the horizon.
[Pentagon Official] I mean, you have a team of ninjas! NINJAS! And that sailor, and a kung fu master, a samurai, William "Refrigerator" and a guy who wears a football jersey all the time and has NEVER played football... and I'm pretty sure he's... um... differently abled.
[Bazooka] I LIKE PIE WITH MASHED POTATOES!
[Comic Shop Owner] And what about the guy in the Hawaiian shirt? What's HIS deal?
[Hawk] That's Chuckles. He's our disguise guy.
[Comic Shop Owner] In a Hawaiian shirt?
[Hawk] And he NEVER talks. What's your point?
[Comic Shop Owner] That's the worst operative ever.
[Fanboy] Tell 'em, Steve Dave.
[Hawk] Well, look! This is going to change everything! Behind me is... BATTLE FORCE 2000!
[Senator] It's 2007, General.
[Hawk] But it'll change the way we fight. These vehicles... *the covers are pulled off* ...will change--
[Reporter] Is that a meteor?
[Hawk] Heh... no, dear. We call that one the Pulverizer...
* The meteor crashes into the vehicles, destroying them. A moment later, a silver robot rises from the wreckage and walks away. Bazooka runs after it.
[Bazooka] EXCUSE ME, ARE YOU THE TOOTH FAIRY????
[Hawk] I hate Transformers. *realizes the mic still works* The... uh... the mechanical part. Transformers. They uh... oh, I am SO going to see this on the front pages tomorrow....