if i look up and the sky's not there, is there any reason that i should be scared?
the days are all a blur and i haven't decided how i feel. i truly feel like this (college) is and will be the best time of my life. im happy, at least for now. i wish i could slow time down. the days already feel like they're going too fast and i know i will look back at the end of the year and wonder how this all happened.
sometimes i feel pissy with my floor, sometimes i love them more than anything. i am making friends outside of my rez and i really like the people i am meeting. things feel right and good. i don't know what midterms will mean and i don't know how i am doing in my classes. i don't know if i am keeping up enough or falling behind miserably. i wonder if i am focusing too much on social aspects and not enough on school. i wonder if that is what i need to do to be happy; maybe succeeding in school shouldn't be such a high priority.
i party and drink a lot and even if i get sad, i have a good time. going out on thursdays has become a norm and i hope my spanish group doesn't expect too much of me at 11:35 on fridays. i often wonder if i disappoint them, but that's a different story.
i am in college. it hasn't really sunken in yet, yet when i walk around with my tote of notebooks quickly walking to and from classes i feel like one of the college students i idolized in high school who seem cool and old and mature. k actually that's basically just how all college students are. but it hits me at times like that that i am a college student.
i miss the bay. it has never seemed so awesome. the good news is, though, that i get to be the only person in the world (k or just the only person on my floor) to say things like "hella" and "baller" and "going stupid" and "going dumb" and "getting hyphy."
i feel like i am finally, after 18 years, growing a personality. when you start somewhere new not knowing anyone, it's easier to figure out who you are--it's how you act when you meet someone for the first time. they don't know you; it's how you act as you get to know people that determines your personality. as time progresses, we figure out more about each other, and about ourselves.
montreal is a pretty awesome city. first of all, this place is so full of partying it's kind of rediculous. everyone smokes pot and drinks and i love the craziness. there are aspects of berkeley here and it makes me happy. i think montreal is an exact cross between a european city and an american city. it's beautiful, too, though not for long. i was told today to expect snow in like 3 weeks (!!!) and am getting nervous. i have been wearing a down vest and fleece reguarly for approximately a week now and it's only getting colder from here.
i took the metro for the first time saturday. that's not very exciting, but i thought it was pretty sweet at the time.
starbucks here isn't like starbucks at home, but their grande non-fat chais are just as good, albeit a lot more expensive. too bad they don't have any of the same pastries, but it saves me money and calories!
i always get really excited when i meet people here from california (literally ANYWHERE in california) and i think it freaks people out a little. i get especially excited if someone has been to norcal and ask them lots of questions like "have you been to walnut creek!? or orinda!? or lafayette!? im near there!" and often they haven't gone out of sf or oakland, but it still gets me hella juiced.
running into the only other person from cps randomly also makes my life. it's just nice to see a face from home. weird, because i feel like i should be home, but nice.
i hope to try poutine soon and i will report back. i am scared of it, but it's one of those things you've just gotta do. when in rome...
my view is incredible. everyone who walks into my room comments on it. any time of the day, i just love looking out my window. i also love having my window open because i get a nice breeze, but even now it is basically too cold to have it open. too bad. soon i won't be able to tolerate it at all.
I lean against the wind
pretend that I am weightless
and in this moment I am happy, happy
I wish you were here.
sometimes i feel pissy with my floor, sometimes i love them more than anything. i am making friends outside of my rez and i really like the people i am meeting. things feel right and good. i don't know what midterms will mean and i don't know how i am doing in my classes. i don't know if i am keeping up enough or falling behind miserably. i wonder if i am focusing too much on social aspects and not enough on school. i wonder if that is what i need to do to be happy; maybe succeeding in school shouldn't be such a high priority.
i party and drink a lot and even if i get sad, i have a good time. going out on thursdays has become a norm and i hope my spanish group doesn't expect too much of me at 11:35 on fridays. i often wonder if i disappoint them, but that's a different story.
i am in college. it hasn't really sunken in yet, yet when i walk around with my tote of notebooks quickly walking to and from classes i feel like one of the college students i idolized in high school who seem cool and old and mature. k actually that's basically just how all college students are. but it hits me at times like that that i am a college student.
i miss the bay. it has never seemed so awesome. the good news is, though, that i get to be the only person in the world (k or just the only person on my floor) to say things like "hella" and "baller" and "going stupid" and "going dumb" and "getting hyphy."
i feel like i am finally, after 18 years, growing a personality. when you start somewhere new not knowing anyone, it's easier to figure out who you are--it's how you act when you meet someone for the first time. they don't know you; it's how you act as you get to know people that determines your personality. as time progresses, we figure out more about each other, and about ourselves.
montreal is a pretty awesome city. first of all, this place is so full of partying it's kind of rediculous. everyone smokes pot and drinks and i love the craziness. there are aspects of berkeley here and it makes me happy. i think montreal is an exact cross between a european city and an american city. it's beautiful, too, though not for long. i was told today to expect snow in like 3 weeks (!!!) and am getting nervous. i have been wearing a down vest and fleece reguarly for approximately a week now and it's only getting colder from here.
i took the metro for the first time saturday. that's not very exciting, but i thought it was pretty sweet at the time.
starbucks here isn't like starbucks at home, but their grande non-fat chais are just as good, albeit a lot more expensive. too bad they don't have any of the same pastries, but it saves me money and calories!
i always get really excited when i meet people here from california (literally ANYWHERE in california) and i think it freaks people out a little. i get especially excited if someone has been to norcal and ask them lots of questions like "have you been to walnut creek!? or orinda!? or lafayette!? im near there!" and often they haven't gone out of sf or oakland, but it still gets me hella juiced.
running into the only other person from cps randomly also makes my life. it's just nice to see a face from home. weird, because i feel like i should be home, but nice.
i hope to try poutine soon and i will report back. i am scared of it, but it's one of those things you've just gotta do. when in rome...
my view is incredible. everyone who walks into my room comments on it. any time of the day, i just love looking out my window. i also love having my window open because i get a nice breeze, but even now it is basically too cold to have it open. too bad. soon i won't be able to tolerate it at all.
I lean against the wind
pretend that I am weightless
and in this moment I am happy, happy
I wish you were here.