[FFX fan soundtrack] Spira Mirabilis :: A Summoner's Tales
Spira Mirabilis :: A Summoner's Tales
**
Who and What.
This is my personal soundtrack regarding Braska, and his pilgrimage.
Beginning in Bevelle, ending in Zanarkand, and hitting some points southbound, some north-, and some both.
This is part fan-soundtracking and also part fan-scrapbooking, for lack of a better term: quotes and lyrics and bits here and there, a stitched-together conglomerate of my affection.
If you give it a listen, I do hope you enjoy. Thank you.
**
Why.
This, then, is the spira mirabilis1.
It crashes into you like a wave, never words; it is flashes of burning inspiration. A glance, a touch, a vow unspoken. A goal to be reached at all costs-- or a goal you cannot see until it is upon you.
Spiraling three-part dance: Sin and summoner and summoned. A mathematical principle to the pattern, a probability to the prophecy. The destruction borne of a storm, the birth of a galaxy of stars (to save a father's name, to destroy the world). The spiral is holy: eadem mutata resurgo; the same, but changed, I shall arise.2
The pattern of seeds on a sunflower, of waves against the shore. The cycle of summoners, the ebb and flow of lives; as long as she journeys. Selfsame spiral, fueled on friendship, brewed on a thousand years of hopelessness.
The promise of pilgrimage, the layers of unfolding understanding. Prejudices peeled away, nearing the heart of the spinning. The change that stays the same, the final aeon that becomes Sin. (Years alone in the belly of a whale, Jonah unrepentant.)
Travel, arrival; years of an inch and a step toward a source. I'm coming to you. I'll be there in time. Braska, dancing, and no man who watches left unmoved.
Here is how the story goes.
[Twenty-two songs.3]
*
[ Hymn of the Fayth, Bahamut (soprano) // FFX soundtrack ]
Bevelle; the first aeon. Bahamut: small but unshakable faith; the beginning. "The dreams of the fayth reach through the spirit of the summoner... And that which is unreal becomes real for all to see! ...Or maybe not. Who knows?"
*
[ Full Fathom Five // artist (words: Shakespeare) ]
Nothing of him that doth fade
But doth suffer a seachange
Into something rich and strange
Bevelle, southbound. Spira is drowning: in Sin, in sorrow. Knowing that this, this pilgrimage, will change everything. Finding a stranger, thought to be drowned; a friend, another father-- a guardian.
*
[ Something the Boy Said // The Police ]
We took courage from our numbers,
what we sought, we did not fear
But our thoughts kept returning
To something the boy said as we turned to go
He said 'You'll never see our faces again'
Macalania, southbound. A wood of butterflies. A precocious young Guado acolyte; a premonition. Seymour already knows the nature of Sin. Seymour also does not mince words.
*
[ Hymn of the Fayth, Ixion (baritone) // FFX soundtrack ]
Djose. Ixion: unspoiled valor; electric-bright eagerness.
*
[ The Trail We Blaze // Road to El Dorado ]
Look out new world here we come
Brave, intrepid and then some
From the Moonflow to the Mi'ihen High Road, and onward. The summoner and his two guardians, finding an accord. (And having, perhaps, an unexpectedly good time.) I do not believe that the days of Braska's pilgrimage were days of unmitigated pain, after all. (Brave is Braska; intrepid, Auron. Jecht is certainly and then some.)
*
[ Hymn of the Fayth, Ifrit (tenor) // FFX soundtrack ]
Kilika. Ifrit: warrior's strength; believer's fire.
*
[ Summoner's Love // Dragon Avenger @ ocremix.org ]
Besaid. He's never been as far south as this before. His heart puts down an anchor, something that he'd never thought to feel. Finding a place to love, a place for Yuna to live-- a place to build a future. Home.
*
[ Hymn of the Fayth, Valefor (alto) // FFX soundtrack ]
Besaid. Valefor: birdbreast comfort; mothering wings.4
*
[ Don't Fade Away // Milla Jovovich ]
See them washing hearts with teardrops
Bless these simple souls
Baby soldiers marching onward
Mi'ihen High Road again, northbound; the Crusaders. Lady Yocun was a Crusader with the summoner's gift; she lay down the sword of Mi'ihen and took up the staff to bring the Calm. Who is right, and does it matter if the outcome is the same? Braska is not a zealot.
*
[ Desert Rose // Sting ]
I wake in vain
I dream of love as time runs through my hand
Guadosalam (this side of the Farplane). Seeing his wife across the divide; remembered warmth brighter still than all the Sanubia Desert. "Maybe the dead leave a bit of themselves in the hearts of the living. And that little bit borrows the pyreflies' power for their paranormal performance! ...Or maybe not." Hela du saad oui. Cunno.
*
[ Hymn of the Fayth, Shiva (soprano) // FFX soundtrack ]
Macalania. Shiva: weighty as snowfall; light and sweet as morning frost.
*
[ Cold // Annie Lennox ]
Time it may take us but God only knows
How I've paid for those things in the past
Dying is easy it's living that scares me to death
Macalania, northbound. A song, I admit, for Shiva: the frozen temple, the crystal-blue woman, ice for blood and hands and hair. Not only for her, but each of the aeons within-- well-traveled now, accustomed to one another, fighting together, coming to the summoner's call. And calling to the summoner, as well. To journey. To fight Sin. To take up the mantle and shed self, to dance in the eternal spiral of Spira. "Die and be free of pain or live and fight your sorrow!"
*
[ Charmed Life // Divine Comedy ]
Well sometimes this life is like being afloat
On a raging sea in a little row boat
Just trying not to be washed overboard
But if you take your chances and you ride your luck
And you never, never, never, never, never give up
Well those waves will see you safely to a friendly shore
Bevelle, northbound. A song for a daughter, bittersweet, sweet-bitter. To give her courage, and love, and strength, and hope. (The greatest of these is love.) The bridge out of Bevelle might just as well be burning, for all the chance that Braska will set foot southward across it again, but for one last day he does not think of these things. His is the past; Yuna's, the future.
*
[ Lullabye (Goodnight, My Angel) // Billy Joel ]
And like a boat out on the ocean, I'm rocking you to sleep
The waters dark and deep, inside this ancient heart
You'll always be a part of me
Crossing the bridge into the Calm Lands: "The summoners took note of this uninhabited land. Great battles could be fought here, with no harm to the common folk. Perfect for a final battle with Sin, as it were. Summoners wait here, ready to perform the Final Summoning. Ah, to know what they must feel!" A last goodbye to Yuna, more difficult than anticipated. Promises that span generations, music that gentles grief. The solemn understanding of a six-year-old girl.
*
[ Journey's End // Sephfire / pixietricks / Gray Lightning @ ocremix.org ]
Gagazet; surmounting the insurmountable. The pilgrimage, in truth, is never undertaken lightly, but the last steps may be the hardest of all.
*
[ By My Side // Godspell ]
Far beyond where the horizon lies
Where the horizon lies
And the land sinks into mellow blueness
Oh please, take me with you
Together, they are greater than the sum of their parts. A summoner's guardians are more vital than they know. Auron, and Jecht, and Braska: swords and staff, succor and comfort.
*
[ Pilgrimage // Suzanne Vega ]
This life is burning, turning to ash as it hits the air
Every death is an end in the race
It's a stopping and starting
A march over millions of years
Zanarkand. Yunalesca. The spiral's core. From here, all unravels, all unfolds. The magnitude of the task, the inevitability, the resolve. Devotion, and hurt, and all the struggles of a human heart.
*
[ Sending to a Different World // FFX soundtrack ]
Realization, the path made clear. "If we are mark'd to die, we are enow / To do our country loss." Zanarkand a city of summoners, dream of a city that never sleeps. Yevon-ju, the same but changed. The Spira spiral. ("But, you know, when it is all over, we will wake, and our dream will end. Our dream will vanish." -- "You've been dreaming a long time, haven't you?" -- "I'm sorry." -- "I'm grateful.")
*
[ Winter Born (This Sacrifice) // Cruxshadows ]
Discard regret, that in this debt
A better world is made
That children of a newer day might remember
And avoid our fate
The inexorable, the ultimate. The battle with Sin. For this we came, and there can be no turning back. The Sin they fight is a woman, or what's left of her. Discovering compassion and violence both, the unending cycle and the roles they play. "If it might benefit the future of Spira, I will gladly give my life. It is the highest honor for which a guardian might ask. Use my life and rid Spira of Sin."
*
[ Below the Ocean (The Spirit of Atlantis) // David Arkenstone ]
Braska's Final Aeon. The summon so tremendous that it sends the summoner. Fighting Sin, fighting sadness, fighting self-- and finding, in the end, that there is more to it than pain. Victory. "How good to go, light into light, and still / Giving light, dying."
*
[ When Water Comes to Life // Cloud Cult ]
and when they sew you closed, they'll give you back to the water
from where we're all born (from where we're all born)
and when they burn your body, all that's left is sand crystals
two tiny handfuls
all the rest is water, water, water
The Calm, and what comes beyond the grief. Letting go of this, and of everything. Not only an end but a beginning.
*
[ One Particular Harbor // Jimmy Buffett ]
A most mysterious calling harbor
So far but yet so near
Where I can see the day when my hair's full gray
And I finally... disappear
Epilogue: the other side of the Farplane. Celebration of a life, well-lived.
*
Eadem mutata resurgo: the same, but changed, I shall arise.
The same, but changed, I shall arise.
Spira. Mirabilis.
"Ahh, but look at the time. I've rambled on again. I do love stories, you see. Well, I owe you my gratitude for hearing this old scholar out.
And that, as they say, is that."
**
And.
[ Skies Above // The Black Mages ]
Playing the game, we affectionately dubbed this particular tune (properly named "Revealed Truth"): "Life Sucks on Spira." Because really, it plays most often when someone is learning some terrible, inevitable, totally heart-breaking painful thing. This particular version is... Well, I just imagine that it's Jecht singing, and Auron has his fingers stuffed in his ears, and Braska is just sitting there, smiling.
**
How & When.
This soundtrack has been slowly building for six years, gathering songs since the spring of 2002. Two songs were inadvertent gifts from a music savvy friend, one in 2003 and one in 2007 [Pilgrimage; Charmed Life]. Two were L songcalls, 2002 and 2006; both on road trip CDs that had nothing to do with FFX, unexpectedly great [The Trail We Blaze; One Particular Harbor]. One I heard at random in a Toys "R" Us in 2002, so struck with the Braska-ness that it brought tears [Lullaby].
Only last week did I realize the soundtrack--the pilgrimage--is now complete.
The timing feels significant. I discovered Final Fantasy X at a time in my life when I was creatively and artistically broken, and I still don't know if it was the cause or the effect. Probably both. It's a hard story, and a beautiful one, and I dashed myself to bits against its edges. I love this game, this character, beyond all reason, and I've spent six years piecing myself back together. These days, though, I feel strong enough to hold a beautiful story without shattering at my seams. Unselfconscious enough to draft a fan soundtrack, and to share. Myself enough to remember how to love, and how to convey that.
1 Logarithmic spiral, or, more specifically, the naturally-occurring logarithmic spirals in our lives: this Astronomy Picture of the Day [September 25, 2003].
2 Thus runs the inscription on the tombstone of Jacob Bernoulli, who studied the logarithmic spiral.
3 All twenty-three songs (twenty-two story tracks + one bonus song) can be downloaded in a .zip file here.
4 This tattoo, my second, underneath my bellybutton; inked in March 2004. It wasn't designed specifically to be Valefor, but I've always imagined she's wrapped into those lines and arabesques, too. The sort of aeon to catch you when you fall (or need to jump).
**
Who and What.
This is my personal soundtrack regarding Braska, and his pilgrimage.
Beginning in Bevelle, ending in Zanarkand, and hitting some points southbound, some north-, and some both.
This is part fan-soundtracking and also part fan-scrapbooking, for lack of a better term: quotes and lyrics and bits here and there, a stitched-together conglomerate of my affection.
If you give it a listen, I do hope you enjoy. Thank you.
**
Why.
This, then, is the spira mirabilis1.
It crashes into you like a wave, never words; it is flashes of burning inspiration. A glance, a touch, a vow unspoken. A goal to be reached at all costs-- or a goal you cannot see until it is upon you.
Spiraling three-part dance: Sin and summoner and summoned. A mathematical principle to the pattern, a probability to the prophecy. The destruction borne of a storm, the birth of a galaxy of stars (to save a father's name, to destroy the world). The spiral is holy: eadem mutata resurgo; the same, but changed, I shall arise.2
The pattern of seeds on a sunflower, of waves against the shore. The cycle of summoners, the ebb and flow of lives; as long as she journeys. Selfsame spiral, fueled on friendship, brewed on a thousand years of hopelessness.
The promise of pilgrimage, the layers of unfolding understanding. Prejudices peeled away, nearing the heart of the spinning. The change that stays the same, the final aeon that becomes Sin. (Years alone in the belly of a whale, Jonah unrepentant.)
Travel, arrival; years of an inch and a step toward a source. I'm coming to you. I'll be there in time. Braska, dancing, and no man who watches left unmoved.
Here is how the story goes.
[Twenty-two songs.3]
*
[ Hymn of the Fayth, Bahamut (soprano) // FFX soundtrack ]
Bevelle; the first aeon. Bahamut: small but unshakable faith; the beginning. "The dreams of the fayth reach through the spirit of the summoner... And that which is unreal becomes real for all to see! ...Or maybe not. Who knows?"
*
[ Full Fathom Five // artist (words: Shakespeare) ]
Nothing of him that doth fade
But doth suffer a seachange
Into something rich and strange
Bevelle, southbound. Spira is drowning: in Sin, in sorrow. Knowing that this, this pilgrimage, will change everything. Finding a stranger, thought to be drowned; a friend, another father-- a guardian.
*
[ Something the Boy Said // The Police ]
We took courage from our numbers,
what we sought, we did not fear
But our thoughts kept returning
To something the boy said as we turned to go
He said 'You'll never see our faces again'
Macalania, southbound. A wood of butterflies. A precocious young Guado acolyte; a premonition. Seymour already knows the nature of Sin. Seymour also does not mince words.
*
[ Hymn of the Fayth, Ixion (baritone) // FFX soundtrack ]
Djose. Ixion: unspoiled valor; electric-bright eagerness.
*
[ The Trail We Blaze // Road to El Dorado ]
Look out new world here we come
Brave, intrepid and then some
From the Moonflow to the Mi'ihen High Road, and onward. The summoner and his two guardians, finding an accord. (And having, perhaps, an unexpectedly good time.) I do not believe that the days of Braska's pilgrimage were days of unmitigated pain, after all. (Brave is Braska; intrepid, Auron. Jecht is certainly and then some.)
*
[ Hymn of the Fayth, Ifrit (tenor) // FFX soundtrack ]
Kilika. Ifrit: warrior's strength; believer's fire.
*
[ Summoner's Love // Dragon Avenger @ ocremix.org ]
Besaid. He's never been as far south as this before. His heart puts down an anchor, something that he'd never thought to feel. Finding a place to love, a place for Yuna to live-- a place to build a future. Home.
*
[ Hymn of the Fayth, Valefor (alto) // FFX soundtrack ]
Besaid. Valefor: birdbreast comfort; mothering wings.4
*
[ Don't Fade Away // Milla Jovovich ]
See them washing hearts with teardrops
Bless these simple souls
Baby soldiers marching onward
Mi'ihen High Road again, northbound; the Crusaders. Lady Yocun was a Crusader with the summoner's gift; she lay down the sword of Mi'ihen and took up the staff to bring the Calm. Who is right, and does it matter if the outcome is the same? Braska is not a zealot.
*
[ Desert Rose // Sting ]
I wake in vain
I dream of love as time runs through my hand
Guadosalam (this side of the Farplane). Seeing his wife across the divide; remembered warmth brighter still than all the Sanubia Desert. "Maybe the dead leave a bit of themselves in the hearts of the living. And that little bit borrows the pyreflies' power for their paranormal performance! ...Or maybe not." Hela du saad oui. Cunno.
*
[ Hymn of the Fayth, Shiva (soprano) // FFX soundtrack ]
Macalania. Shiva: weighty as snowfall; light and sweet as morning frost.
*
[ Cold // Annie Lennox ]
Time it may take us but God only knows
How I've paid for those things in the past
Dying is easy it's living that scares me to death
Macalania, northbound. A song, I admit, for Shiva: the frozen temple, the crystal-blue woman, ice for blood and hands and hair. Not only for her, but each of the aeons within-- well-traveled now, accustomed to one another, fighting together, coming to the summoner's call. And calling to the summoner, as well. To journey. To fight Sin. To take up the mantle and shed self, to dance in the eternal spiral of Spira. "Die and be free of pain or live and fight your sorrow!"
*
[ Charmed Life // Divine Comedy ]
Well sometimes this life is like being afloat
On a raging sea in a little row boat
Just trying not to be washed overboard
But if you take your chances and you ride your luck
And you never, never, never, never, never give up
Well those waves will see you safely to a friendly shore
Bevelle, northbound. A song for a daughter, bittersweet, sweet-bitter. To give her courage, and love, and strength, and hope. (The greatest of these is love.) The bridge out of Bevelle might just as well be burning, for all the chance that Braska will set foot southward across it again, but for one last day he does not think of these things. His is the past; Yuna's, the future.
*
[ Lullabye (Goodnight, My Angel) // Billy Joel ]
And like a boat out on the ocean, I'm rocking you to sleep
The waters dark and deep, inside this ancient heart
You'll always be a part of me
Crossing the bridge into the Calm Lands: "The summoners took note of this uninhabited land. Great battles could be fought here, with no harm to the common folk. Perfect for a final battle with Sin, as it were. Summoners wait here, ready to perform the Final Summoning. Ah, to know what they must feel!" A last goodbye to Yuna, more difficult than anticipated. Promises that span generations, music that gentles grief. The solemn understanding of a six-year-old girl.
*
[ Journey's End // Sephfire / pixietricks / Gray Lightning @ ocremix.org ]
Gagazet; surmounting the insurmountable. The pilgrimage, in truth, is never undertaken lightly, but the last steps may be the hardest of all.
*
[ By My Side // Godspell ]
Far beyond where the horizon lies
Where the horizon lies
And the land sinks into mellow blueness
Oh please, take me with you
Together, they are greater than the sum of their parts. A summoner's guardians are more vital than they know. Auron, and Jecht, and Braska: swords and staff, succor and comfort.
*
[ Pilgrimage // Suzanne Vega ]
This life is burning, turning to ash as it hits the air
Every death is an end in the race
It's a stopping and starting
A march over millions of years
Zanarkand. Yunalesca. The spiral's core. From here, all unravels, all unfolds. The magnitude of the task, the inevitability, the resolve. Devotion, and hurt, and all the struggles of a human heart.
*
[ Sending to a Different World // FFX soundtrack ]
Realization, the path made clear. "If we are mark'd to die, we are enow / To do our country loss." Zanarkand a city of summoners, dream of a city that never sleeps. Yevon-ju, the same but changed. The Spira spiral. ("But, you know, when it is all over, we will wake, and our dream will end. Our dream will vanish." -- "You've been dreaming a long time, haven't you?" -- "I'm sorry." -- "I'm grateful.")
*
[ Winter Born (This Sacrifice) // Cruxshadows ]
Discard regret, that in this debt
A better world is made
That children of a newer day might remember
And avoid our fate
The inexorable, the ultimate. The battle with Sin. For this we came, and there can be no turning back. The Sin they fight is a woman, or what's left of her. Discovering compassion and violence both, the unending cycle and the roles they play. "If it might benefit the future of Spira, I will gladly give my life. It is the highest honor for which a guardian might ask. Use my life and rid Spira of Sin."
*
[ Below the Ocean (The Spirit of Atlantis) // David Arkenstone ]
Braska's Final Aeon. The summon so tremendous that it sends the summoner. Fighting Sin, fighting sadness, fighting self-- and finding, in the end, that there is more to it than pain. Victory. "How good to go, light into light, and still / Giving light, dying."
*
[ When Water Comes to Life // Cloud Cult ]
and when they sew you closed, they'll give you back to the water
from where we're all born (from where we're all born)
and when they burn your body, all that's left is sand crystals
two tiny handfuls
all the rest is water, water, water
The Calm, and what comes beyond the grief. Letting go of this, and of everything. Not only an end but a beginning.
*
[ One Particular Harbor // Jimmy Buffett ]
A most mysterious calling harbor
So far but yet so near
Where I can see the day when my hair's full gray
And I finally... disappear
Epilogue: the other side of the Farplane. Celebration of a life, well-lived.
*
Eadem mutata resurgo: the same, but changed, I shall arise.
The same, but changed, I shall arise.
Spira. Mirabilis.
"Ahh, but look at the time. I've rambled on again. I do love stories, you see. Well, I owe you my gratitude for hearing this old scholar out.
And that, as they say, is that."
**
And.
[ Skies Above // The Black Mages ]
Playing the game, we affectionately dubbed this particular tune (properly named "Revealed Truth"): "Life Sucks on Spira." Because really, it plays most often when someone is learning some terrible, inevitable, totally heart-breaking painful thing. This particular version is... Well, I just imagine that it's Jecht singing, and Auron has his fingers stuffed in his ears, and Braska is just sitting there, smiling.
**
How & When.
This soundtrack has been slowly building for six years, gathering songs since the spring of 2002. Two songs were inadvertent gifts from a music savvy friend, one in 2003 and one in 2007 [Pilgrimage; Charmed Life]. Two were L songcalls, 2002 and 2006; both on road trip CDs that had nothing to do with FFX, unexpectedly great [The Trail We Blaze; One Particular Harbor]. One I heard at random in a Toys "R" Us in 2002, so struck with the Braska-ness that it brought tears [Lullaby].
Only last week did I realize the soundtrack--the pilgrimage--is now complete.
The timing feels significant. I discovered Final Fantasy X at a time in my life when I was creatively and artistically broken, and I still don't know if it was the cause or the effect. Probably both. It's a hard story, and a beautiful one, and I dashed myself to bits against its edges. I love this game, this character, beyond all reason, and I've spent six years piecing myself back together. These days, though, I feel strong enough to hold a beautiful story without shattering at my seams. Unselfconscious enough to draft a fan soundtrack, and to share. Myself enough to remember how to love, and how to convey that.
1 Logarithmic spiral, or, more specifically, the naturally-occurring logarithmic spirals in our lives: this Astronomy Picture of the Day [September 25, 2003].
2 Thus runs the inscription on the tombstone of Jacob Bernoulli, who studied the logarithmic spiral.
3 All twenty-three songs (twenty-two story tracks + one bonus song) can be downloaded in a .zip file here.
4 This tattoo, my second, underneath my bellybutton; inked in March 2004. It wasn't designed specifically to be Valefor, but I've always imagined she's wrapped into those lines and arabesques, too. The sort of aeon to catch you when you fall (or need to jump).
