(no subject)
Right now it's 7:36 p.m., and I am listening to some scary metal of Aaron's. It's actually tolerable. I've been getting into it more, just from listening to it so much. Heh.
Felicia is @ work right now. I hope she is having a good night. I've been thinking about her a lot, as usual. Thinking about how I feel every time I'm around her, and how much she means to me. She is such a beautiful person, and she's stronger than she thinks. When I look at her, I can't help but smile. The whole world could be crashing down around me, and it wouldn't even phase me. This drama that has been going down means nothing to me. Lies mean nothing to me. The only thing that matters to me is knowing that Felicia loves me, and that we are happy together.
Today I took a 2 hour nap. I wanted to sleep longer, but Kaylyn called me with a crisis. *shrugs* She's too funny. The other night, Melissa and I stopped at the Lisbon Teen Center to see if anyone worthwhile was there, and as it turns out, my family was there. My dad, Linda, Justin, and Kaylyn were all there and Kaylyn was scheduled to sing a song that she'd written. Since we lived together before and are on the phone all the time, I'd heard her sing, but not in a performance sort-of way. So Melissa and I stuck around, and Kaylyn got up to sing and she was AWESOME! It made me so happy! The song was actually good, too! I hugged her about a million times after she was done, and everyone kept telling me what a good singer my sister was. I was absolutely beaming, it will almost silly. I loved it. I'm so thankful I caught it.
So Holly and Dani have a ride to Lewiston, which totally rules because it makes it easier for Felicia. I told Holly to bring her space heater, and some things to sleep on so we can crash @ the house. I'm so glad that they're going with us. It'll be Holly's first party... it's just too bad that it had to be Melissa's going away party. We don't get into that, because I don't feel like crying again.
It's amazing that with all of this shit that's been happening, I'm actually feeling okay. It's not devistating to me whatsoever. I think it's mostly because I knew it was going to happen... I could feel it coming for a long time. And in all actuality, it's not a huge loss. I'm moving in a completely different direction with my life - I am going somewhere. I'll probably be making $10 an hour soon, and I'm going to have my own apartment. Felicia will continue going to school, and staying with me on the weekends and vacations. It's going to be nice. I'm no longer reading any stupid drama-filled diaries, no longer keeping in touch with people who bring me down, no longer dealing with lying or anything of that sort. This is the beginning of my life with Felicia, and I want it to be positive, happy, clean, solid.... I want to focus on the things that really matter, like her, and the people that I love like my siblings and my few close friends that don't suck.
This is all for now. This entry is plenty long enough. I'll update again soon.
Love you hun.