(no subject)
i dont even know where to begin. it seems that as soon as everything goes back to being somewhat normal....a ghost from my past comes back to haunt me. no its not always the same person. but why do they push themselves back into my life. their gone for a reason. or distanced from me for a reason. why does everyone want to argue? literally everywhere i go something really good happens...or something really bad happens. instead of me being as laid back as i usually am, im just on edge. i've got the shakes to prove it. lol. music seems to be my only escape. seriously. i've downloaded more music in the past ....oh i duno....week than i have ever. its more relate-able now. more real. its not so much hearing the music...as listening to the music. literally listening. the lyrics. the drums. the bass. the whole feeling of the song. call me crazy but its different when you listen to it.
i wish everything would just go easier. im not saying my life is hard, because its certainly not. i dont have a job to worry about or bills. just school. and thats not even here yet. but what i wish was easier is the toll people around me are taking on me mentally. if that makes sense? how quickly close friends turn backs on each other, the shit people have to say, and the fact that you never really know who wants to be around you. for example, when you walk into a room, how many people act like their happy to see you. who puts on the mask pretending their your friend? you can see it on their face when their a real friend.
i'm incredibly lucky to have three best friends. Most people find it hand to find a best friend. but somehow i was good enough to get three. katie, caitlin, and chelsey are the people that i literally dont think i could live without. everytime i've needed them they've pulled through for me, and haven't given up. And oh my god have we all LAUGHED together....and at each other. we're sarcastic, and amazing. whether we were sitting a round doing nothing...or getting shitfaced, we made it look good. =] lol. you'd be jealous. i really hope that since a lot of things are changing that we'll stick together. i'm almost positive that we will. ...because we're sweet like that.
my birthday is comming up. who's excited?
i wish everything would just go easier. im not saying my life is hard, because its certainly not. i dont have a job to worry about or bills. just school. and thats not even here yet. but what i wish was easier is the toll people around me are taking on me mentally. if that makes sense? how quickly close friends turn backs on each other, the shit people have to say, and the fact that you never really know who wants to be around you. for example, when you walk into a room, how many people act like their happy to see you. who puts on the mask pretending their your friend? you can see it on their face when their a real friend.
i'm incredibly lucky to have three best friends. Most people find it hand to find a best friend. but somehow i was good enough to get three. katie, caitlin, and chelsey are the people that i literally dont think i could live without. everytime i've needed them they've pulled through for me, and haven't given up. And oh my god have we all LAUGHED together....and at each other. we're sarcastic, and amazing. whether we were sitting a round doing nothing...or getting shitfaced, we made it look good. =] lol. you'd be jealous. i really hope that since a lot of things are changing that we'll stick together. i'm almost positive that we will. ...because we're sweet like that.
my birthday is comming up. who's excited?