Chapter 19 -- Ties That Bind
Warning: This chapter contains BDSM rope play between consenting adults. Please avoid if this is not your thing.
Back to Chapter 18
Can you help me I'm bent
I'm so scared that I'll never
Get put back together
You're breaking me in
And this is how we will end
With you and me bent
Start bending me
It's never enough
I feel all your pieces
Start bending me
Keep bending me until I'm completely broken in
‘Bent' Matchbox 20
"I have another slot opened on Tuesdays, now." Naveen said almost off-handedly. For the past few months he had a man who wanted only to see Naveen from ten to twelve every Tuesday. The only spectacular thing about him was how ritualistic he was. He wanted to come in the same time every week, and re-enact the same scene. At the beginning the East Indian had found it fascinating, and tried to play with the man's idea of perfection. But the man had resisted, and after a while it had become a bore. He was thankful now that the client had ended the relationship.
"It seems that a client of mine has found a woman who is willing to take over my duties. He's asked her to marry him, and she's agreed." Naveen removed his jacket, and hung it on a hook in the wall.
"Oh?" Sawyer said, his attention piqued. He didn't usually see Naveen more than twice a week, business-wise, although he was in the club most nights, but the idea of there being some other time when he might have the opportunity wasn't a bad thing.
He snorted at the thought of one of Naveen's clients settling down with a woman, but then, on further reflection, perhaps the sex of the person whipping you didn't always matter. Besides, the guy had the perfect cover if he wanted to be respectable, he supposed.
Sniffing to cover his thoughts, he said with more than a little amusement and not much seriousness, "Might use that slot occasionally then. At least 'til I find someone who'll do that for me, perhaps."
Naveen snorted as he crossed to one of the wingback chairs. Sitting, he picked up the hose to the small hookah he kept in the room. He preferred it immensely to the cigars, cigarettes, and chew that was so popular among the Yanks.
There was no way Sawyer was ever going to settle down. The man was practically addicted to whores. He bounced from bed to bed with absolutely no shame. Or maybe he was shameful. Regardless how he felt, Naveen doubted that Sawyer would be capable of ever weaning himself from the company of whores--especially for a woman
Sawyer decided to play the amusement value out on this one, though he was slightly upset that Naveen would discount the possibility quite so quickly. Perhaps it was because a woman would have to be involved if he actually married someone. Naveen wasn't to know that Sawyer had managed to screw women, usually when it was absolutely necessary to get him out of a fix, even if he didn't particularly savour it. Just because he wouldn't pay for it didn't mean he wasn't capable, though. And pretending came pretty easily to him now he'd been doing it so long, so a marriage of convenience wasn't completely out of the question, although it was fairly unlikely.
A man though? Would Sawyer settle down with a man? Well, there had been one once... had things worked out differently, perhaps. But there was no point thinking on that now; anything similar happening was about as likely as him flying across the Bay. Not that he was about to admit this to a whore.
"What? You don't believe I could settle down?" Sawyer asked, his look a cross between innocent and slightly hurt. He settled in the other chair now he'd removed his jacket and boots, and then gestured for Naveen to allow him to indulge in the hookah as well.
Naveen motioned to the second hose, taking another hit of the smoke as he thought over Sawyer's words. Letting go of the metal tip, his eyes went half-mast as he sighed blissfully and exhaled. A pink tongue snaked out, wetting his lips. "Honestly, Sawyer, I believe that the moment you settle down is the moment you decide you'd rather not be whipped into oblivion again." He repeated the process with the hookah, and turned to look his client in the eyes. "Not only would you need to start visiting reputable places, but you would have to be social with others for reasons beyond taking their money. Then you'd have to find a woman you enjoy spending time with. Then you would have to stop seeing whores altogether, and be faithful to her and her alone. And while my client may have been willing to find the right woman to tie him up, I doubt you'd ever find one who'd tie you, beat you, and then fuck you the way you need."
Naveen's voice throughout his speech was as calm as someone discussing what they had eaten for breakfast. No emotion or excitement. Just saying the words, and stating a fact. He began to smoke again.
Sawyer took the invitation and picked up the hose, inhaling deeply and holding it in for a minute as he listened to Naveen. The man had no idea what Sawyer would and wouldn't do if need be, and settling down didn't necessarily mean any of those things.
He exhaled slowly, letting the smoke out in a fine puff away from the whore and smirked, "But you do it so well, why would I even look for anyone else?"
As Naveen watched Josh smoke, he debated having the man get down onto his knees and do the same thing to his cock. It was so sinful the way Sawyer wrapped his lips around the mouthpiece; it made Naveen instantly hard. He also wished that they had to share a hose, so that not only would he taste the flavor of the smoke, but he would taste the flavor of his client.
After taking an inhalation of his own, Naveen laughed and said, "Well, then I guess you won't be settling down, will you?"
Sawyer took another drag of the delicious smoke, half closing his eyes and slowly licking his lips as he leaned his head back in the chair to better savour it. Whatever opiate Naveen was using was very relaxing, he had to admit, almost as good as sex. Almost.
The look being directed at him as he smoked said he'd be getting that too, soon enough. Just relax here with the drug for a while so it dulled the pain he'd be likely to receive first, and the whole thing would be sublime. Sawyer liked drawing out the anticipation of what Naveen would do to him, any length of time the Dom preferred, as long as it ended with the man pounding his hard, dark cock deep inside Sawyer's body. He was getting hard at the thought, despite the relaxing qualities of the hookah.
Sawyer smirked once more as he finished another hit, the smoke curling up between them, "Hmm, no, probably not, as long as you agree to keep doing it."
Naveen's dark eyebrow lifted, and he pondered the man's words. He knew that Sawyer often tried to provoke him, and that most often took the form of other whores. In fact, he was positive that Joshua merely wanted Naveen to assert ownership. To forbid him any others, to keep him safe and close.... But this had to be the first time that the gambler had ever said that he wished to continue like this for any period of time.
"Well, Sawyer, I imagine that as long as you keep paying, I will still be here." He took a final hit off the hookah, holding it in as he replaced the hose. Finally he exhaled, the smoke curling around them once more.
For some reason, Naveen's words hurt Sawyer. He'd been paying all along, why did it suddenly seem as if they hadn't been talking about money this time, until now? Pushing the pain away before he could think on what it really meant, he replied casually, "No problem, then. Ain't about to run out of money in a hurry."
Taking a last hit himself, he turned cool eyes back on Naveen as he handed him his own pipe and exhaled sideways.
"And yet you pout, which might I say is a horribly unattractive look on you." Naveen could tell that something was going on that mind of Sawyer's.... He just wasn't sure what it was. Yet he had definitely seen that flash of hurt in the other man's eyes. And with the new wonderings that there was a possibility that Josh was interested in more than what they currently had... it made him suspicious.
"You know that this is the way the world works, however. You come to Freeman's and gamble and get other customers' money. Then you spend it on me. Then that money goes back to Marton, along with his share of what I get from my other clients. That in turn keeps Freeman's open, so you have a place to gamble." Naveen paused briefly, wondering why these things were coming out of his mouth. He usually didn't speak so much with his clients or in life, but this man for some reason brought it out in him. Naveen did not think he liked that aspect of the man. "Joshua, if I were to... say, run away with a client of mine... you, maybe.... Not only would I be without an income, but Marton would lose what I bring in as well, and chances are Freeman's would fold. Which is the last thing we want."
Sawyer frowned with some anger. What in hell did the man think he was suggesting? He wasn't offering to leave with Naveen for God's sake! There was no way he was interested in that....
"I wasn't askin' you to run off with me! I'm perfectly happy with the arrangement we have!" he growled, his eyes unable to stay on Naveen's face. What was the man reading in Sawyer's words that he didn't think he'd meant, or was it the look he'd given the whore? Sawyer didn't want to think how uncomfortable this whole thing was making him feel.
"You didn't look happy with our arrangement just a moment ago. In fact, you got rather upset when I mentioned payment. You may have tried to hide it, but after so long I can read you. Maybe it's not the nature of our relationship, then. Maybe it's the fact you have to pay."
Reaching around the pipe, Naveen grasped Josh's chin. He held his face in place, his eyes attempting to hold his client’s. "Look at me when I speak to you. What is it? Are you asking for free sessions? Do you not get enough 'perks'?"
Sawyer wasn’t sure he liked the way this whole conversation was going, but something made it difficult for him to draw away. Something more than the hand keeping him where he was. A shiver ran through the gambler and he could feel his heart speeding up at the look in the unreadable eyes of the other man. At last, he pulled away roughly from the hand holding him, shaking his head in consternation.
"Jesus, almighty, Naveen!" he let out, confused as all hell, "I just want… I want to know..." he trailed off, biting his lip and looking away with furrowed brow.
Shit! There was something about this exotic man that had him hooked, and he knew, underneath everything, that it wasn't about the money or the pain as much as he wanted to believe. This was too close to admitting that and he couldn't finish the sentence now…. He'd probably gone too far already.
"What, Joshua? What do you want to know?" Naveen withdrew his hand, tucking it and the other into his lap. The gambler was starting to act like a child. Completely unacceptable. Naveen had noticed that as of late Sawyer was getting more and more lax in his submission. That definitely needed to be changed. And quickly. "Do not start speaking to me if you do not intend to finish. I do not want my time wasted."
Sawyer snorted, getting himself back under control. They had an arrangement, and he would do well to remember that. Emotions weren’t supposed to come into it.
"Why? What do you even care what we do as long as you get paid? Or are you gonna punish me for changing my mind?" He glared at Naveen with fire, challenging the Dom to assert his power over him.
Naveen's eyebrow lifted ever-so-slightly. Sawyer was trying to bait him into reacting, was he? Because that was also unacceptable, as Josh well knew. Sawyer had seemed to make it his mission their past few sessions to piss Naveen off. He sighed, waving his hand dismissively toward Josh.
"If I even thought of punishing you, you surely couldn't stop me." A wicked glint flashed in Naveen's eyes. "Excuse me, I actually think the correct word is wouldn't."
Sawyer huffed an unamused laugh. He paid for Naveen's services, he got to choose what Naveen did and didn't do for (or to) him at the end of the day, no matter how much the man thought he was in charge. Sawyer wouldn't allow the thought to cross his mind that he rarely suggested how Naveen should treat him; that pretty much everything that happened between them was of Naveen's choosing.
"Well, since you know me so well," he smirked, although there was still a spark of something else in his eyes, "why don’t we just stick to business?"
"This is business, Joshua. We haven't stopped. Payments, our time together--what else would you call it?" And he did know Sawyer well. Well enough that he knew it really was time to drop the subject, and move on with things. "Now stand up, and get naked."
Sawyer huffed another laugh, barely more amused than the last as he began to follow Naveen's instruction.
"Fair enough, it's all business to me too," he agreed.
Naveen's jaw tightened imperceptibly. For some reason the easy way Sawyer said those words made him ill at ease. Maybe because he was having doubts himself about how much this was still business for him. He shifted, lifting up his leg so it would drape across the arm of the chair. It would call Josh's attention to his erection, which hadn't abated since they smoked earlier. The more distracted Sawyer was, the easier this would go.
It was time to start getting information from the blond. After the fight last night, Naveen was absolutely positive that there was a serious history between his client and Doctor Jack.
"Tonight I wish to hear a story. Tell me about a lover of yours. Someone who, if given the chance, you would have stayed with."
Sawyer blinked at Naveen's suggestion, but continued to strip off his clothes, his eyes going exactly where Naveen had known they would as the Dom moved. After last night's altercation with Matt, he wasn’t completely sure it was the time to be discussing things that had happened with him all those years ago, but it was the only time Josh had got anywhere near staying with someone for any length of time.
"You really wanna hear this?" He licked his lips, still eyeing the other man's groin in the hopes it would keep him focused on what he was here for and not old weaknesses as he gave the man the basic story. Surely there would be no harm in some vague descriptions?
The only way Naveen acknowledged Josh's question was a slight incline of his head. Yes, he wanted to hear it from the man's lips themselves. Wanted the proof that what he believed to be true was. His fingers toyed absently with his nipples as the gambler began to ramble off his fairy tale. Naveen briefly wondered if he really did want to hear this, especially if there really was love between the two of them, so many years ago. His hand trailed down his chest, his fingers dipping into the indentation in his stomach, before coming to rest over his cock. He squeezed himself, his hips lifting as he did so, before beginning to stroke himself through his pants.
"Once," Sawyer began, getting into story telling mode, "When I was very young, and before I knew what I really liked so well..." Naked now, Sawyer gulped at the sight before him, taking a moment before going on with the tale. "I met a young doctor. He was a very good doctor, by all accounts," he hesitated, watching Naveen's hand move on himself and licking his own lips, remembering. "but he didn't understand his own desires…"
His words stopped once more and Sawyer moved towards Naveen, his own cock almost as erect as the man before him. He knelt at his Dom's feet, not yet touching either himself or the whore, awaiting permission.
Naveen's eyebrow raised as Josh spoke. So it was Jack after all. Naveen had thought that getting such a confession wouldn't be so easy. Possibly Sawyer hadn't realized he would put it together? He lifted the foot that rested on the floor to rest against the blond's shoulder, to keep Sawyer from moving any closer. "A doctor?" Naveen wondered how long the two of them had been together. What broke them apart. Why they hated each other now. The reason they acted like they had never met. "Did you love him?"
Sawyer's eyes rose to Naveen's momentarily. Naveen couldn’t have worked out that he meant Jack could he? He cursed himself for admitting his lover had been a doctor; that was probably too much of a giveaway. Hoping that Naveen couldn’t possibly know enough about last night's fight to have this figured out, he licked his lips before answering.
"Yes, he was a doctor. He'd come to..." talking about his mother was not something Sawyer wanted to get into with Naveen right now, "...take care of a relative. We discovered a mutual attraction."
Keeping his eyes back on the whore's groin, Sawyer avoided the question of love altogether, hoping the man wouldn't push for more on that subject right now.
"Mutual attraction?" Naveen hummed as he thought the words over. The slightly shocked look in Josh's eyes was even further confirmation that it was indeed Doctor Jack who was his first true love. "With you, that rarely means you stay for more than a few nights. How long before you ran off, and found some other person to take you?" He shifted his hips so the fabric pulled tight against the outline of his hardened cock.
Sawyer continued to watch Naveen's hand move, licking his lips in anticipation. At the East Indian's words, his eyes flicked to Naveen's as if to judge how much he had worked out. Cautiously, he replied, "You wouldn't have known me then, Naveen. I was… someone else back then. And it lasted longer than a few nights." Quirking a slightly nervous smile, he wondered if the whore could understand just how long things went on with Matt, and how much difference it would make if he even knew. Addressing the last part of Naveen's words, Josh went on haltingly, "And... he... that is... I... I was the one who... anyway," he shook his head, unable to say the words for reasons he didn't understand, considering it was a whore he was speaking to, "It doesn't matter. In the end, he went his way and I went mine. I discovered... things... I liked, and I never looked back." Which was a lie, but Sawyer had told himself this enough times to believe it himself.
He stared into Naveen's cool eyes for a moment as if daring him to challenge any of that, then dropped them back to the slow action between the other man's legs.
"You gonna make me watch the whole thing here?" Sawyer changed the subject, lifting his eyebrows carefully and licking his lips once more.
"Possibly, I haven't yet decided what it is I want to do with you tonight. However, for now, you can touch yourself. If you think you're going to come, though, you have to stop." The idea of Josh slowly milking his cock as he watched Naveen touch himself, that pink tongue swiping out unconsciously as he prepared his lips to hold another man.... it made Naveen leak. A small wet spot began to form on the front of his pants, and his eyes never left Sawyer's.
"Now keep telling your story. You say that this is the only person you've encountered in your life you would have chosen to stay with permanently? More than a few nights rarely counts as love... If that were true..." He trailed off, and his lips twitched downward. "You're just not the type."
Sawyer nodded, dropping his hand to his cock and slowly beginning to stroke himself, as he got more comfortable by resting back on his ankles.
"I don’t know whether we would have..." he went on at the prompt, unsure whether he could say more about the feeling behind what had happened with Matt, "But, like I said, I was a different person then. I might have been swayed if things had ended differently. He was... not like most men I went with then." Josh paused, closing his eyes for a moment as he made a conscious effort to slow his strokes down and not to think of Matt the way he was then. Opening them again, he added, "Not like most men I go with now, come to think of it."
His eyes flew to Naveen's, a slight flush rising, and then he dropped them to continue watching the other man touch himself, the wet spot on his pants holding Sawyer's attention as a further throb of desire went through him.
Naveen was having a hell of a time processing all of this. He knew that it was real, that it had happened. He was sure of it earlier, when he had gone to Ian, but to have such intimate details was almost too much for him now.
Josh and Doctor Jack really were all wrong for each other. Naveen was surprised that anything sexual had ever been between them--from what he knew of each man's likes, they were completely incompatible. Josh only liked his men dark, and all the better if they would hurt him. Jack liked his boys to be girls, and was too often drunk to even aim a hit.
"And what about the lovemaking?" He would regret it if he didn't ask. Without that, the picture would never be complete.
Sawyer continued his slow strokes, still watching Naveen's hand, but he frowned, trying to understand just what his Dom wanted to know. Was he asking if Josh liked the same things with his lover then? In the end, he wasn't sure so he simply asked, looking up with puzzlement, "What do you mean? He didn't hit me?" he shook his head, remembering how different things had been then; how much care he had taken with Matt and how little pain there had been between them until the very end…. He gulped, pushing the thought away and concentrating on the motion between Naveen's legs as he went on, "No, I… I didn’t understand all that then."
"That wasn't what I meant." Naveen's jaw tightened. "You're stroking your cock, Joshua. Seeing your past. I want to hear every detail about how it was with him. How it felt. What you were thinking. What he tasted like. Where you fucked. Everything that goes through your head, I want to know."
Josh couldn’t keep touching himself, the memory of his hands gentle on Matt’s skin too strong suddenly. Closing his eyes, he took a deep breath before opening them again, his hand resting against one thigh now.
"You... you really want to know about all that?" he asked, unable to look at Naveen. Sawyer wasn't altogether sure he could tell the whore any of those things without exposing too much of feelings he’d not shared with anyone in the intervening years.
Naveen paused. Did he really want to know? Yes. Yes, he did. Why did he want to know, though? Why was it so important for him to know what things were like between Joshua and Jack? Even if they were in love.
And there it was. He knew that he had to hear this, because he needed to know what Josh felt like when enamored with someone. Not that Naveen believed that he would discover anything, except for maybe a new facet of Josh's personality that Naveen could exploit.
Finally, he settled on simply saying, "Yes."
Sawyer felt his heart speed up as Naveen answered. He still couldn’t look at the man’s face, so settled his eyes back on the other man’s hand between his legs before speaking once more, the words nervous and hesitant.
"He... hadn't really been with a man properly before. Knew what he wanted, I suppose, but not what to do. I... I showed him. It felt good to be in charge for a change." Suddenly worried that the whore would think he was angling for something different between them this time, his eyes shot to meet Naveen's briefly and then he dropped them away again, a slight flush rising to his cheeks as he added, "Not that I don't like how things are now. With you."
Naveen felt an odd sense of pride when Josh was quick to affirm the validity of what they did together. It went back to how he battled with his feelings towards the other man, as the words warmed his heart. So distracted he was by the blond's words, it took him a moment before the other things Sawyer said sank in.
At which point he realized that his favored client was admitting to fucking his old lover--Doctor Jack. So it would be a total role reversal for the both of them. He paused for another moment to picture Josh shoving Jack over a couch, and shoving into him. It made Naveen's stomach twist to think of them locked in a lover's embrace, kissing how he and Sawyer almost had... Yet still, Naveen's dick twitched and he pushed down on it with the ball of his hand.
Now with his voice pitched low, and his eyes calculating, Naveen purred, "Tell me why it felt good. Close your eyes, and feel it again for me."
Sawyer closed his eyes and almost absently began stroking himself. He couldn't say anything if his eyes were open. His heart was pounding in his own ears as he answered, "He was... I took my time, touched him all over... and then..."
Josh's breathing got heavier, remembering the feel of Matt's skin under his fingers; how responsive the man was to every touch, how glorious it had felt to have that kind of control over someone else, and he couldn't say any more just yet.
Naveen leaned forward, his eyes narrowing slightly. This new look on Josh's face was painful to watch, but the Dom knew he had to see. As Sawyer relieved his history, his expression was the perfect mirror of how he looked when he gave himself over to bliss. It made Naveen's blood boil. He might have found the idea of them as one briefly appealing, but he still couldn't understand what had drawn the two of them together. Jack didn't deserve Sawyer.
"What did he look like at that moment, Joshua? That perfect, perfect moment..." If only he knew, he could finally understand. Know how deep their love had run. How deep it still ran. How Sawyer spoke when love was indeed involved....
Sawyer's breathing had quickened even more as he closed his eyes and remembered. Now he was spiraling closer to release and Naveen's question was too intimate; too near a reminder of how much he had loved Matt. Those moments had been perfect and the only thing Josh had wanted at that time. But if he relived it now....
Opening his eyes, Sawyer stopped the action with his hand, not moving it away but not quite touching himself any longer.
"If I tell you that... I'll disobey your instruction," he murmured harshly, unable to meet Naveen's eyes.
When Sawyer forcibly came out of his lusty stupor, Naveen quirked a sculpted eyebrow. His client wouldn't look at him, but it wasn't the averted gaze of someone showing respect. The whispered words only piqued the Dom's curiosity even more. Which instruction Josh was talking about, he wasn't sure. There had been no rules, past or present, which kept Sawyer from talking about lovers. Several times, in fact, for the sheer purpose of trying to upset Naveen he would give explicit details of his most recent exploits.
Naveen suddenly realized what Sawyer meant, and despite his mixed feelings he shuddered at the visual of Josh unable to hold back his orgasm. "Place your hands on my legs. You will not touch your cock. You will not touch mine. You will, however, answer my question. Do not disappoint me."
Licking his lips, Sawyer nodded and rose up a little on his knees to move forward. He placed a hand on each of Naveen's thighs and looked into the man's eyes. The look reflected back at him was hard to read, not that Naveen's thoughts were ever clear to Sawyer, but it made his cock throb with need.
"He looked... the look in his eyes... was like I was the only other person in the world," Josh told Naveen, still studying the whore's eyes. He swallowed again, dropping his gaze at last to rest on the hand between Naveen's legs, a dark flush rising to his cheeks as he remembered that feeling.
"And I wanted that," he breathed, "I wanted to be that one person for him."
The only other person in the world.
Naveen had no idea what that felt like. He knew deep connections, intimacy that led to caring how the other felt... but not such devotion that eclipsed all else. He couldn't imagine what it would feel like; be like, to wake up in the morning in the arms of the person you have chosen. To spend the day talking to him about everything from the weather to politics, making each other laugh... cooking dinner together, before going to bed, completing the cycle. To drift off with his nose buried in silky golden locks....
Naveen's walls came slamming down; barriers to keep anyone from coming in and him from going out. It was safer, better, preferable that way. "And how did you end up telling this to a whore?"
Keeping his eyes on Naveen's hand, Sawyer swallowed and said nothing for a moment. Why was he telling all this to Naveen? Because the man asked, or because Sawyer needed someone to understand he hadn't always been the way he was now? He'd never told anyone about his relationship with Matthew, and while Naveen couldn't know who Sawyer was talking about, the fact that he was telling someone anything at all about his former love was almost a surprise to Josh himself.
Naveen hadn't spoken yet, as if allowing Sawyer time to get his thoughts in order. Sawyer wasn't sure they were in order, though. Finally and haltingly, he answered, "I... I don't know. Do you know? Something... makes me want to... tell you these things and I don't know what it is."
Dropping his eyes lower, Sawyer took his hands away from Naveen's thighs. His erection had drooped and he sat back on his heels, the pain tightening around his heart again. Shit! He had to get a grip on himself! He didn't usually let his guard down this far with Naveen. Usually Josh kept this kind of weakness for private moments when his regret ate away so bitterly that he had to drown himself in whiskey--much as he knew 'Jack' did more frequently--just so he could forget how much he had truly loved Matt.
"I think I need you to punish me now," he told Naveen harshly without looking up.
"Why should I?" Naveen hissed lowly, his eyes barely flicking over to look at the bowed head of his submissive. The Dom stopped stroking his own erection, letting the heel of his palm press down against the length. "What have you done to deserve my favors?"
Naveen was in near physical pain because of Josh's reasons for this conversation. This was a new game that he played, one that Naveen doubted was honest. Sawyer didn't understand 'honest.' "Let me guess... you are merely so far into the fantasy of your doctor, you want to add the one thing that he himself could never give you. I am no surrogate." Naveen sat, looking down on the blond. The other's shrinking cock did not go unnoticed, but he did not call attention to it.
"No!" Josh let out, shaking his head angrily and lifting his eyes to scowl at his Dom, "I never wanted that from him! Never! You're the only one..." I ever really wanted to make me feel like you do, but Sawyer couldn't say it; couldn't finish the sentence, the truth was too painful.
"As for your favors..." He finally managed to get out, looking down again, hoping Naveen saw it as deferential enough, and went on wearily, "Just do what you're paid for. If that doesn't include fucking me, then so be it."
Sawyer's heart was contracting painfully by now and the last thing he wanted was for Naveen to read his expression. Without waiting for permission, he got up and lay face down on the bed, closing his eyes and reaching his arms up towards the headboard as if expecting to be tied up.
Naveen's eyes narrowed into slits as Josh started to speak with such anger. It was an interesting reaction, one he didn't often get. Most by now would be pleading for his forgiveness. Sawyer was almost defending his relationship with Jack, as if the mere thought of adding their games sickened him.
As soon as Sawyer laid himself out on the bed, Naveen was in motion. He moved so smoothly, it was as if he had leaped onto the bed, straddling his client. His aching cock dug into the other man's back, the layer of fine silk maddening as it rubbed against his flesh. With one hand he reached up and grabbed Josh's wrist, and twisted his arm about behind his back. The other hand tangled in blond strands, and yanked, pulling Sawyer's head up so Naveen could look in his face.
"What makes you think what I'm paid to do requires me to tie you down? I am paid to dominate you in whatever way I see fit. If I deemed it an appropriate punishment, I could leave you here alone and hard until you had learned your lesson. And you would pay for that time gladly, because you would know that it pleased me that you were finally being good. However, with your current behavior, I don't even know if you deserve that."
Sawyer gasped at the rough treatment, showing the whites of his eyes in his sudden lurching fear. He'd truly made Naveen angry now, he could feel it. Normally the man was much more restrained in his manner, although he would never hold back from any punishment that Sawyer deserved. The pressure of Naveen's cock against his back showed that this wasn't the end of today's session though and Sawyer's own cock pulsed hotly under him in response.
"No, no, I don't deserve it," he offered, finally returning to the submissive place he should have already been occupying. Naveen was quite right, he hadn't been acting his usual part at all and he didn't deserve any leniency. "W-what do you want me to do?"
Naveen moved his head even closer, his lips brushing against the whorl of Josh's ear. "I want you to tell me to why someone who found such perfection in someone so chaste, pure, and loving... someone who saw him as the only person in the world... would spend all his free time and money on whores. Most of them filth who don't even know your name, and have forgotten you by the time the night is over." Except, Naveen was not one of those people. Sawyer, for some reason, wouldn't allow him to be one. For reasons unknown, beyond his skills, Josh kept returning to him. Infected his thoughts in a way no other client had.
Sawyer tensed as Naveen spoke, angry at himself for giving away so much, his eyes closing as the other man breathed into his ear.
"Because..." he gritted out from between clenched teeth, "...because... no one else ever saw me that way. Because this way I can..." and all the fight went out of him at the last word as he whispered it, "...forget."
"But you obviously aren't forgetting, Joshua. You're thinking about what it would be like to settle down again." He let go of Sawyer's arm, and Naveen's fingers slowly trailed up his arm, over his shoulder, and then down once more over his back. "Your body is craving someone it can give itself to completely..." It had to be, there was no other reason why Naveen was reacting to Josh as he had been lately. "And yet this one unfortunate situation, that you have freely admitted you would have had no future with, has made it so you give nothing but your money."
Naveen let go of Sawyer's hair, letting his client's head fall down against the pillow. His now free hands ran up and down Josh's arms, again and again, only occasionally moving to stroke down his sides. He knew he didn't--couldn't--love his Joshua in the way he needed. But if they had met in a different time, in a different place... Maybe he would have been the person who saw no one but this special man.
Sawyer pushed his face into the pillow, eyes closed tightly. You're wrong, you're wrong went through his head, but he couldn't say it. He was so wound up now, he couldn't risk saying anything.
Not opening his eyes yet, but relaxing them so they weren't clenched so tightly, Sawyer took several deep breaths and let them out slowly, trying to calm his thumping heart. His skin felt so sensitive where Naveen was stroking him now, almost as if the man had already been whipping it, and Sawyer concentrated on the sensation, giving in to it so that he wouldn't think on the words.
If Naveen would only let him in, maybe things could be different. But the man had always been so cold... apart from when he was angry with Sawyer, like now, or when he was fired up, punishing him and making Sawyer cry out for more.
"This is the closest..." Sawyer whispered, unaware he had spoken aloud.
Naveen had known that Sawyer was getting too close. That he was forming bonds to his Dom best unsuited to those in their situation. That he was, dare Naveen even think it, falling in love with him. Yet, knowing all of this, it was a huge shock to him to hear the words aloud.
Without another word, he stood, and moved to the cupboard where he stored his supplies. He unlocked the doors quickly, and pulled them open without the normal theatrics. "Tell me what it is you want, Joshua."
"You."
The word came out of Josh's mouth before he could stop it and his heart fluttered as he realized how it sounded. Licking his lips, Sawyer turned his head to watch where Naveen had gone. He was scared; not of the man physically, but that the Dom would know his weakness now, how he wished... but no, he couldn't think on that, it wasn't true. Sawyer wouldn't allow it to be!
Hoping Naveen would just think he'd stuttered, that the meaning was something different altogether, he quickly went on, "You... to beat me, hurt me, make me forget again."
A jolt hit Naveen when he heard Josh speak, and he clamped a hand over his mouth. He wasn't sure if he could continue with tonight's session, no matter how long Josh had paid for. He knew that the words following the first half-whispered one were not meant to be there, and Naveen's eyes fell down. He had had customers infatuated with him before... but this was different. Very different. Naveen couldn't trust himself to speak, but even if he could, he could not think of any words to say.
To distract himself from his melancholy thoughts, he pulled out bits of equipment and a vial of oil. Finally, he turned to face his client. Moving back to the bed, he set most of the items aside. Taking some silk sashes, he began to wind them around Josh's wrists. "Slow tonight."
Sawyer took a deep breath and turned his face out of Naveen's line of sight. "Slow is good," he murmured as he closed his eyes, savouring the gentle touch for what it was in what seemed like the first time in a very long time.
Why he had told Naveen any of that, he couldn't now say, and he felt drained, weak, unable to take what he would normally expect. Somehow, he thought perhaps he had upset Naveen too, that he was so unlike his usual self, but how that could be he wasn't sure. It wasn't as if the man felt any more for him than any of his other clients, or not that Sawyer could tell, in any case.
Lifting the now-bound hands, Naveen attached them to the hook conveniently placed on the headboard. Now his client was perfectly spread out, unable to move himself very far away.
"I am going to try something new, Josh... I learned this from a Japanese man during my stay in London. Shibari, he called it. I think you'll enjoy it."
Naveen should have done this long ago, but the right circumstances never arose until now. Picking up his finest length of hemp rope, a full eight meters, he began to wind it around the man.
Fairly soon a diamond design appeared in rope on Sawyer's skin. Pushing the man's legs, he sat them up so his feet lay flat on the bed. Using another length of rope, he began to bind the man's calves to his thighs, and ran the lengths of soft rope up the man's crease.
Sawyer had rolled over onto his back at Naveen's urging so he could be tied to the headboard, and now, as the man began to wind rope around him, he found himself fascinated. This was very different from anything he'd done or had done to him before. There was sensuousness to the binding that Sawyer found himself responding to, when normally so much harsher punishment got his blood racing.
And it was beautiful. The patterns Naveen was making against his body were wonderfully aligned with the curves of his muscles, the angles of his joints and creases, and Sawyer could feel the tension easing out of him. Naveen appeared to caress him so much more gently and smoothly than he had ever done before, and the concentration and care in each twist and turn of the rope was pushing Josh towards a place he so seldom reached without pain.
The fire spread through him, burning warmly but deeply, and Sawyer couldn't take his eyes off Naveen's hands as he worked.
Stepping back, Naveen surveyed his handiwork. Sawyer looked unbelievable--a piece of art. The pro wished he had some way to capture the moment, but he hadn't planned on something like this or wanting to keep the memory. He leaned forward once more, twisting the rope so it laid differently. There, now he was perfect.
Grabbing at the discarded bottle of oil, Naveen coated his fingers. The blond was bound and spread--there was no way he could protect his most secret place. He trailed now-wet fingers up and down the man's cleft, burrowing between the soft strength of the rope.
Then, finally, he pressed the pad of his finger up against the puckered hole, waiting for admittance.
As Naveen stepped back and admired what he'd done, Sawyer's heart lurched. The look in his eyes, like Josh was somehow perfect now, was so close to the way Matt had once looked at him all those years ago that he couldn't bear it. After having just told Naveen something about that time, his emotions were obviously far too close to the surface and he was projecting somehow. There was no way Naveen felt what Matt had professed to feel. He was just admiring what he had done, that was all.
Closing his eyes as the whore stepped closer again and willing the slight trembling inside him to subside, Josh almost tensed up when Naveen's finger found his entrance, but a deep breath and moving his thoughts back to the beauty of how the ropes made him feel soon had him back on track. He relaxed, opening his eyes and waiting.
When he felt Sawyer relax, Naveen slipped the tip of one finger inside. He gave the man a moment to relax, and then pushed it in all the way. Not as relaxed as he could be, but on the way. He rolled his finger, aiming for the man's prostate. Slowly, ever so slowly, he manipulated the man's gland, just enough to tease him and make him insane with lust.
Another finger was added, and then another. He wanted Josh more open then he ever had been before he even thought about taking him. Naveen fucked him maddeningly slow, in and out, in and out, in and out, twist….
"How many more, Joshua? And you do only get fingers for now..."
Oh God... The light touch over his sweet spot made him jerk, though Sawyer couldn't move far due to the way he was restrained. His cock pulsed as Naveen added more fingers and began to fuck him so slowly that he had to bite his lip to stop himself begging for the whore to speed up. There would be no asking, or Naveen would only go slower to punish him for his audacity.
At each twist of those amazing fingers, Sawyer gasped, and when Naveen asked how many more, he choked back a groan, already feeling more stretched than he had been in quite some while. He was desperate to have his cock touched now; it felt as though it would explode but the agonisingly slow movements in and out of him weren't allowing him close enough to the edge... in and he'd feel like he was almost there as the fingers stroked over his sensitive gland... out and the feeling would recede just a little... in and it would close in on him... and the circle would go infuriatingly around again.
Sawyer's breathing was so harsh now at the effort of keeping up with the movements, he couldn't even answer Naveen's question, and his chest tightened at the intensity of the whole experience. This was almost sending him to the place only the usual flogging could manage. He barely cared that he hadn't answered.
"Maybe I should give you my whole hand? Reach up inside you until I can practically touch your heart?" Naveen teased his little finger against the sensitized skin. "Then fuck my hand inside your arse?" He wouldn't go this far with Sawyer, not unless he specifically asked for it. But Naveen always loved presenting ideas that were so far out of reach to Josh.
He stilled his hand, eyes locking with Sawyer. "Maybe I should just leave you?"
The whole hand? Sawyer had never taken that much, and while what was inside him now was incredible, keeping him so close to the edge and yet so far away, he couldn't imagine that, although were the man to follow through on his threat right now, he wasn't sure he'd be able to stop him. He gasped more heavily as Naveen made the suggestion, unable to answer.
However, when the fingers stopped moving, he groaned in disappointment, and at the second threat he pleaded anxiously, "No! Please... no!"
Josh knew it sounded desperate, but he was. The thought that Naveen would not only leave him to hang just below the pinnacle of his climax, but actually leave him--never see him again--was too much to bear. In his current state, he could barely establish what he was supposed to be thinking about their relationship, and the chance that Naveen really meant this frightened him somehow.
Something twisted painfully inside Naveen's chest as Joshua begged, and it made his cock jump dramatically in the confines of his silk pants. He removed his fingers from Sawyer's hole, wiping them on a nearby rag. There was nowhere the blond could go, he could barely even wiggle when he was hobbled this way.
"Why not, Joshua? If I left you now, you could just find Greg, or Craig... maybe your Warrick... and have one of them finish you off. If you were able to get yourself untied, that is." Naveen ran his fingers up Josh's length, flicking at the head.
"No, please..." Sawyer begged frantically, almost at the point of tears now that Naveen had removed his fingers. "They don't do to me what you do! Only you!" he let out, unable to stop himself, writhing as well as he was able in the restrictive binding.
Gasping for breath, he gulped as Naveen flicked at his cock, straining towards the fingers, though he would never be able to reach them on his own. He couldn't tell the man that he had actually fucked Greg, which he'd just admitted about his relationship with Matt.... Possibly, Naveen knew what he’d done with the other whore, but he didn't think so. Who would tell Naveen about their encounter with Sawyer? Not many of the boys here, he didn't think, for fear of what Naveen's reaction might be. He guarded his special client only too well, though he knew Sawyer played around.
"Please fuck me?" Sawyer asked now, trying not to sound too needy and largely failing.
Naveen shook his head to himself. He was crazy, completely insane. As evidenced by Sawyer's words. He had to remember that, when he started to question the gambler's motives. There was no one else who could do this to Josh. That was the only reason the man believed he felt anything. As soon as he found someone else to beat him, especially someone he didn't pay, the feelings would be gone.
Obsession he could deal with, and for now, the tears and the begging might just be acceptable. The pro's cock certainly thought so. Naveen circled around so he was at the head of the bed, so he could pet the man's hair and shush him. Calm yourself, his eyes seemed to say. Swooping his head, he took a framed nipple between his teeth, biting. He switched to the other nipple, repeating the treatment. His lips continued downwards, kissing and nipping his way through the crossing ropes. The flat of his tongue swiped across Sawyer's sacs as Naveen crawled onto the mattress. His pants were left crumpled on the floor.
He picked up the oil, pouring more over his fingers. Dark fingers circled an even darker cock, and Naveen hissed with pleasure as he thrust in and out of his fist a few times.
Oh God, oh God, oh God!
Sawyer could barely stand it. The man was being incredibly cruel and yet not beating him for a change, and it was fantastic and horrible and amazing and oh God! He groaned as Naveen reached his balls, and then began thrashing in his bindings again as the man stroked himself. He was almost panicked, his heart beating furiously and he struggled as if he could seriously get free, although there was no chance.
"Please!" he cried once more, his voice hoarse with effort as he finally stopping the pointless struggling, "Please Naveen, I can't take this any more, just fuck me!"
Naveen paused in his ministrations, watching the other man carefully. Not often did Sawyer lie so still. His voice was nothing but a rasp, but still urgent. The pro growled his pleasure, pushing himself between the blond's forcefully spread thighs. He should let Josh stew a little longer, but after the emotions behind this scene he doubted either could wait.
As he pressed his cock against the puckered opening, Naveen was admitted much more easily than the last time. Now his cock just sank in with no resistance, the body beneath him welcoming him like he was coming home. "Slowwww," he hissed, as he dragged his cock back out at an agonizing pace.
Sawyer took a deep breath as Naveen slid in like he was returning to his favorite place, which perhaps he was. Oh God! It was so perfect, so complete, to be filled by him this way. Trembling as he watched the dark whore pull out again so gradually that he could feel every ridge of the man's cock, Sawyer let the breath out almost as slowly.
It was agonizing, but this was what he wanted; the feeling of losing himself to Naveen's pleasure, his aching cock desperate for relief but knowing that would only happen when the whore was good and ready. Even if he wasn't touched there he could come, he knew this, but only if Naveen allowed it. The man was a master of delaying orgasm, and sometimes, Sawyer would be allowed to get so close he thought it was too late, but somehow Naveen would hold him back, intensifying the feeling until Sawyer thought he would pass out, and then if it was done just right, he'd come again in no time flat, the release almost more incredible the second time around.
Watching Naveen's cock as he drew out, Sawyer lifted his eyes to the man's face as he felt the deep spiral of absolute lust twist through him, and he waited, chest tightening.
Naveen slowed his thrusts even more as he felt Sawyer ripple around him. The man was close, and if something didn't happen to change that, the fun would be over all too soon. The whore felt his client's eyes on him, so he deliberately kept his eyes locked on where his own cock sawed between the blond's cheeks.
"Don't." His hand circled the other man's cock, squeezing at the base. Flicking his eyes up, he met Sawyer's for a brief moment. Naveen was rocked by the feeling behind them, the heat. "Don't." He repeated, but he wasn't sure it meant the same thing.
Dropping his head, Naveen nipped once more at Josh's puckered nipples; biting, chewing, nothing but teeth. It gave more of the pain Sawyer loved to him, and kept himself from staring into those beautiful green eyes.
The deep thrusts were still driving Sawyer on, despite the incredible slowness of them. Gasping more as Naveen squeezed at him, delaying the rising orgasm as he uttered a simple Don't, Sawyer continued to watch the man, the need building and he wasn't even sure it had anything to do with coming.
When Naveen's eyes met his, he knew his need was evident; could see it's reflection in pools of liquid chocolate, and the Don't this time seemed less sure. Sawyer's heart contracted painfully at the word, surely only for the tone, not for any other reason. Then Naveen was attacking his nipples, tearing his dark eyes away and making Sawyer writhe again, the whimpers coming without pause. He was feeling light-headed now as the sultry East Indian continued to pulse slowly in and out of him, every now and then squeezing to disallow Sawyer anything but the building pressure. Truly, he was going to explode soon.
The pro couldn't look up, couldn't react. He was paid to hurt, to fuck. He had to do his job. He kept reminding himself no matter what he believed he saw in Sawyer's eyes besides want, it wasn't real. And even if the emotion really did lurk behind those eyes, the feelings really would disappear as soon as Naveen cut contact. Josh was as deep as a puddle. Love, or even true affection, was beyond his grasp.
Naveen sighed (and hoped his client took it as one of pleasure), and rested his forehead against two overlapping lines of rope. Briefly releasing his grasp on the man's cock, his hands pushed Sawyer's bound feet and legs off the bedding, throwing off the blond's balance and impaling him farther on Naveen's length.
Once they settled into the new position, Naveen was quick to cut off the blood flow to Joshua's erection once more. His thrusts sped up as he realized he no longer felt any urge to play this particular game. He too wanted completion.
"Christ!" Sawyer cried as Naveen altered the game by throwing his limbs around and causing the cock to strike him more deeply within. The speeding up of the other man's thrusts indicated he'd finished playing now in any case, and although he was holding things back for Josh, Sawyer couldn't complain. The pleasure was so intense when he got like this, practically all he'd have to do was let go of the cock once more now and Sawyer would be over the edge. For some reason he didn’t quite understand, he barely cared suddenly, just wanting his Naveen to come first and hold him tight as he reached the pinnacle shortly afterwards.
Josh was so far gone that he couldn't even imagine why his thoughts were leading him where they were. He just knew it was helping him reach orgasm, pushing him to the outer limits of pleasure. Thinking of Naveen as his, and wanting to be held afterwards meant nothing else; he wouldn’t allow it. Closing his eyes tight, he pictured another time when brown eyes looked into his with love. It helped, that’s all, he told himself.
Naveen's eyes flicked up briefly from where they were resting on Sawyer's chest. The man was tightening around him again, and Naveen feared he was going to orgasm, even if he didn't come. But then, oh gods, that look. He would bet that Sawyer was flying, so far gone that he could just feel wave after wave of pleasure.
"You'll never settle down," He hissed against the heated skin of his client. "Never." He thrust in one, three, five more times and then released his control over himself, filling the tight channel that gripped him with his release. He cried out, something he didn't usually do. "Cock whore," He panted as he pulled back. His fingers slipped from where they had gripped, finally freeing Sawyer's erection.
Sawyer didn't really hear the words so much as feel the vehemence behind them as he squeezed hard around Naveen's cock and the man spurted hard inside him. As he pulled back and let Sawyer go, the gambler felt the loss deeply, but the blood quickly filled his cock and he thrust into empty air as the globules of his come practically jumped out of him, spattering back against his exhausted body.
Unable to rest properly due to the bindings, Sawyer sagged back, his heart pumping so wildly that his ears buzzed and his head spun and he was gasping for breath he thought he might never catch. He couldn't open his eyes yet; couldn’t bear to see what was in Naveen's cool gaze now he'd gotten what he deserved once more, no matter how much less of a punishment it seemed on the surface.
Word Count: ~9945
Glossary of Terms:
Shibari: Shibari is a Japanese word that literally means "to tie" or "to bind". Also used to describe a Japanese style of sexual bondage using simple yet visually intricate patterns.
TBC next week
Back to Chapter 18
Can you help me I'm bent
I'm so scared that I'll never
Get put back together
You're breaking me in
And this is how we will end
With you and me bent
Start bending me
It's never enough
I feel all your pieces
Start bending me
Keep bending me until I'm completely broken in
‘Bent' Matchbox 20
"I have another slot opened on Tuesdays, now." Naveen said almost off-handedly. For the past few months he had a man who wanted only to see Naveen from ten to twelve every Tuesday. The only spectacular thing about him was how ritualistic he was. He wanted to come in the same time every week, and re-enact the same scene. At the beginning the East Indian had found it fascinating, and tried to play with the man's idea of perfection. But the man had resisted, and after a while it had become a bore. He was thankful now that the client had ended the relationship.
"It seems that a client of mine has found a woman who is willing to take over my duties. He's asked her to marry him, and she's agreed." Naveen removed his jacket, and hung it on a hook in the wall.
"Oh?" Sawyer said, his attention piqued. He didn't usually see Naveen more than twice a week, business-wise, although he was in the club most nights, but the idea of there being some other time when he might have the opportunity wasn't a bad thing.
He snorted at the thought of one of Naveen's clients settling down with a woman, but then, on further reflection, perhaps the sex of the person whipping you didn't always matter. Besides, the guy had the perfect cover if he wanted to be respectable, he supposed.
Sniffing to cover his thoughts, he said with more than a little amusement and not much seriousness, "Might use that slot occasionally then. At least 'til I find someone who'll do that for me, perhaps."
Naveen snorted as he crossed to one of the wingback chairs. Sitting, he picked up the hose to the small hookah he kept in the room. He preferred it immensely to the cigars, cigarettes, and chew that was so popular among the Yanks.
There was no way Sawyer was ever going to settle down. The man was practically addicted to whores. He bounced from bed to bed with absolutely no shame. Or maybe he was shameful. Regardless how he felt, Naveen doubted that Sawyer would be capable of ever weaning himself from the company of whores--especially for a woman
Sawyer decided to play the amusement value out on this one, though he was slightly upset that Naveen would discount the possibility quite so quickly. Perhaps it was because a woman would have to be involved if he actually married someone. Naveen wasn't to know that Sawyer had managed to screw women, usually when it was absolutely necessary to get him out of a fix, even if he didn't particularly savour it. Just because he wouldn't pay for it didn't mean he wasn't capable, though. And pretending came pretty easily to him now he'd been doing it so long, so a marriage of convenience wasn't completely out of the question, although it was fairly unlikely.
A man though? Would Sawyer settle down with a man? Well, there had been one once... had things worked out differently, perhaps. But there was no point thinking on that now; anything similar happening was about as likely as him flying across the Bay. Not that he was about to admit this to a whore.
"What? You don't believe I could settle down?" Sawyer asked, his look a cross between innocent and slightly hurt. He settled in the other chair now he'd removed his jacket and boots, and then gestured for Naveen to allow him to indulge in the hookah as well.
Naveen motioned to the second hose, taking another hit of the smoke as he thought over Sawyer's words. Letting go of the metal tip, his eyes went half-mast as he sighed blissfully and exhaled. A pink tongue snaked out, wetting his lips. "Honestly, Sawyer, I believe that the moment you settle down is the moment you decide you'd rather not be whipped into oblivion again." He repeated the process with the hookah, and turned to look his client in the eyes. "Not only would you need to start visiting reputable places, but you would have to be social with others for reasons beyond taking their money. Then you'd have to find a woman you enjoy spending time with. Then you would have to stop seeing whores altogether, and be faithful to her and her alone. And while my client may have been willing to find the right woman to tie him up, I doubt you'd ever find one who'd tie you, beat you, and then fuck you the way you need."
Naveen's voice throughout his speech was as calm as someone discussing what they had eaten for breakfast. No emotion or excitement. Just saying the words, and stating a fact. He began to smoke again.
Sawyer took the invitation and picked up the hose, inhaling deeply and holding it in for a minute as he listened to Naveen. The man had no idea what Sawyer would and wouldn't do if need be, and settling down didn't necessarily mean any of those things.
He exhaled slowly, letting the smoke out in a fine puff away from the whore and smirked, "But you do it so well, why would I even look for anyone else?"
As Naveen watched Josh smoke, he debated having the man get down onto his knees and do the same thing to his cock. It was so sinful the way Sawyer wrapped his lips around the mouthpiece; it made Naveen instantly hard. He also wished that they had to share a hose, so that not only would he taste the flavor of the smoke, but he would taste the flavor of his client.
After taking an inhalation of his own, Naveen laughed and said, "Well, then I guess you won't be settling down, will you?"
Sawyer took another drag of the delicious smoke, half closing his eyes and slowly licking his lips as he leaned his head back in the chair to better savour it. Whatever opiate Naveen was using was very relaxing, he had to admit, almost as good as sex. Almost.
The look being directed at him as he smoked said he'd be getting that too, soon enough. Just relax here with the drug for a while so it dulled the pain he'd be likely to receive first, and the whole thing would be sublime. Sawyer liked drawing out the anticipation of what Naveen would do to him, any length of time the Dom preferred, as long as it ended with the man pounding his hard, dark cock deep inside Sawyer's body. He was getting hard at the thought, despite the relaxing qualities of the hookah.
Sawyer smirked once more as he finished another hit, the smoke curling up between them, "Hmm, no, probably not, as long as you agree to keep doing it."
Naveen's dark eyebrow lifted, and he pondered the man's words. He knew that Sawyer often tried to provoke him, and that most often took the form of other whores. In fact, he was positive that Joshua merely wanted Naveen to assert ownership. To forbid him any others, to keep him safe and close.... But this had to be the first time that the gambler had ever said that he wished to continue like this for any period of time.
"Well, Sawyer, I imagine that as long as you keep paying, I will still be here." He took a final hit off the hookah, holding it in as he replaced the hose. Finally he exhaled, the smoke curling around them once more.
For some reason, Naveen's words hurt Sawyer. He'd been paying all along, why did it suddenly seem as if they hadn't been talking about money this time, until now? Pushing the pain away before he could think on what it really meant, he replied casually, "No problem, then. Ain't about to run out of money in a hurry."
Taking a last hit himself, he turned cool eyes back on Naveen as he handed him his own pipe and exhaled sideways.
"And yet you pout, which might I say is a horribly unattractive look on you." Naveen could tell that something was going on that mind of Sawyer's.... He just wasn't sure what it was. Yet he had definitely seen that flash of hurt in the other man's eyes. And with the new wonderings that there was a possibility that Josh was interested in more than what they currently had... it made him suspicious.
"You know that this is the way the world works, however. You come to Freeman's and gamble and get other customers' money. Then you spend it on me. Then that money goes back to Marton, along with his share of what I get from my other clients. That in turn keeps Freeman's open, so you have a place to gamble." Naveen paused briefly, wondering why these things were coming out of his mouth. He usually didn't speak so much with his clients or in life, but this man for some reason brought it out in him. Naveen did not think he liked that aspect of the man. "Joshua, if I were to... say, run away with a client of mine... you, maybe.... Not only would I be without an income, but Marton would lose what I bring in as well, and chances are Freeman's would fold. Which is the last thing we want."
Sawyer frowned with some anger. What in hell did the man think he was suggesting? He wasn't offering to leave with Naveen for God's sake! There was no way he was interested in that....
"I wasn't askin' you to run off with me! I'm perfectly happy with the arrangement we have!" he growled, his eyes unable to stay on Naveen's face. What was the man reading in Sawyer's words that he didn't think he'd meant, or was it the look he'd given the whore? Sawyer didn't want to think how uncomfortable this whole thing was making him feel.
"You didn't look happy with our arrangement just a moment ago. In fact, you got rather upset when I mentioned payment. You may have tried to hide it, but after so long I can read you. Maybe it's not the nature of our relationship, then. Maybe it's the fact you have to pay."
Reaching around the pipe, Naveen grasped Josh's chin. He held his face in place, his eyes attempting to hold his client’s. "Look at me when I speak to you. What is it? Are you asking for free sessions? Do you not get enough 'perks'?"
Sawyer wasn’t sure he liked the way this whole conversation was going, but something made it difficult for him to draw away. Something more than the hand keeping him where he was. A shiver ran through the gambler and he could feel his heart speeding up at the look in the unreadable eyes of the other man. At last, he pulled away roughly from the hand holding him, shaking his head in consternation.
"Jesus, almighty, Naveen!" he let out, confused as all hell, "I just want… I want to know..." he trailed off, biting his lip and looking away with furrowed brow.
Shit! There was something about this exotic man that had him hooked, and he knew, underneath everything, that it wasn't about the money or the pain as much as he wanted to believe. This was too close to admitting that and he couldn't finish the sentence now…. He'd probably gone too far already.
"What, Joshua? What do you want to know?" Naveen withdrew his hand, tucking it and the other into his lap. The gambler was starting to act like a child. Completely unacceptable. Naveen had noticed that as of late Sawyer was getting more and more lax in his submission. That definitely needed to be changed. And quickly. "Do not start speaking to me if you do not intend to finish. I do not want my time wasted."
Sawyer snorted, getting himself back under control. They had an arrangement, and he would do well to remember that. Emotions weren’t supposed to come into it.
"Why? What do you even care what we do as long as you get paid? Or are you gonna punish me for changing my mind?" He glared at Naveen with fire, challenging the Dom to assert his power over him.
Naveen's eyebrow lifted ever-so-slightly. Sawyer was trying to bait him into reacting, was he? Because that was also unacceptable, as Josh well knew. Sawyer had seemed to make it his mission their past few sessions to piss Naveen off. He sighed, waving his hand dismissively toward Josh.
"If I even thought of punishing you, you surely couldn't stop me." A wicked glint flashed in Naveen's eyes. "Excuse me, I actually think the correct word is wouldn't."
Sawyer huffed an unamused laugh. He paid for Naveen's services, he got to choose what Naveen did and didn't do for (or to) him at the end of the day, no matter how much the man thought he was in charge. Sawyer wouldn't allow the thought to cross his mind that he rarely suggested how Naveen should treat him; that pretty much everything that happened between them was of Naveen's choosing.
"Well, since you know me so well," he smirked, although there was still a spark of something else in his eyes, "why don’t we just stick to business?"
"This is business, Joshua. We haven't stopped. Payments, our time together--what else would you call it?" And he did know Sawyer well. Well enough that he knew it really was time to drop the subject, and move on with things. "Now stand up, and get naked."
Sawyer huffed another laugh, barely more amused than the last as he began to follow Naveen's instruction.
"Fair enough, it's all business to me too," he agreed.
Naveen's jaw tightened imperceptibly. For some reason the easy way Sawyer said those words made him ill at ease. Maybe because he was having doubts himself about how much this was still business for him. He shifted, lifting up his leg so it would drape across the arm of the chair. It would call Josh's attention to his erection, which hadn't abated since they smoked earlier. The more distracted Sawyer was, the easier this would go.
It was time to start getting information from the blond. After the fight last night, Naveen was absolutely positive that there was a serious history between his client and Doctor Jack.
"Tonight I wish to hear a story. Tell me about a lover of yours. Someone who, if given the chance, you would have stayed with."
Sawyer blinked at Naveen's suggestion, but continued to strip off his clothes, his eyes going exactly where Naveen had known they would as the Dom moved. After last night's altercation with Matt, he wasn’t completely sure it was the time to be discussing things that had happened with him all those years ago, but it was the only time Josh had got anywhere near staying with someone for any length of time.
"You really wanna hear this?" He licked his lips, still eyeing the other man's groin in the hopes it would keep him focused on what he was here for and not old weaknesses as he gave the man the basic story. Surely there would be no harm in some vague descriptions?
The only way Naveen acknowledged Josh's question was a slight incline of his head. Yes, he wanted to hear it from the man's lips themselves. Wanted the proof that what he believed to be true was. His fingers toyed absently with his nipples as the gambler began to ramble off his fairy tale. Naveen briefly wondered if he really did want to hear this, especially if there really was love between the two of them, so many years ago. His hand trailed down his chest, his fingers dipping into the indentation in his stomach, before coming to rest over his cock. He squeezed himself, his hips lifting as he did so, before beginning to stroke himself through his pants.
"Once," Sawyer began, getting into story telling mode, "When I was very young, and before I knew what I really liked so well..." Naked now, Sawyer gulped at the sight before him, taking a moment before going on with the tale. "I met a young doctor. He was a very good doctor, by all accounts," he hesitated, watching Naveen's hand move on himself and licking his own lips, remembering. "but he didn't understand his own desires…"
His words stopped once more and Sawyer moved towards Naveen, his own cock almost as erect as the man before him. He knelt at his Dom's feet, not yet touching either himself or the whore, awaiting permission.
Naveen's eyebrow raised as Josh spoke. So it was Jack after all. Naveen had thought that getting such a confession wouldn't be so easy. Possibly Sawyer hadn't realized he would put it together? He lifted the foot that rested on the floor to rest against the blond's shoulder, to keep Sawyer from moving any closer. "A doctor?" Naveen wondered how long the two of them had been together. What broke them apart. Why they hated each other now. The reason they acted like they had never met. "Did you love him?"
Sawyer's eyes rose to Naveen's momentarily. Naveen couldn’t have worked out that he meant Jack could he? He cursed himself for admitting his lover had been a doctor; that was probably too much of a giveaway. Hoping that Naveen couldn’t possibly know enough about last night's fight to have this figured out, he licked his lips before answering.
"Yes, he was a doctor. He'd come to..." talking about his mother was not something Sawyer wanted to get into with Naveen right now, "...take care of a relative. We discovered a mutual attraction."
Keeping his eyes back on the whore's groin, Sawyer avoided the question of love altogether, hoping the man wouldn't push for more on that subject right now.
"Mutual attraction?" Naveen hummed as he thought the words over. The slightly shocked look in Josh's eyes was even further confirmation that it was indeed Doctor Jack who was his first true love. "With you, that rarely means you stay for more than a few nights. How long before you ran off, and found some other person to take you?" He shifted his hips so the fabric pulled tight against the outline of his hardened cock.
Sawyer continued to watch Naveen's hand move, licking his lips in anticipation. At the East Indian's words, his eyes flicked to Naveen's as if to judge how much he had worked out. Cautiously, he replied, "You wouldn't have known me then, Naveen. I was… someone else back then. And it lasted longer than a few nights." Quirking a slightly nervous smile, he wondered if the whore could understand just how long things went on with Matt, and how much difference it would make if he even knew. Addressing the last part of Naveen's words, Josh went on haltingly, "And... he... that is... I... I was the one who... anyway," he shook his head, unable to say the words for reasons he didn't understand, considering it was a whore he was speaking to, "It doesn't matter. In the end, he went his way and I went mine. I discovered... things... I liked, and I never looked back." Which was a lie, but Sawyer had told himself this enough times to believe it himself.
He stared into Naveen's cool eyes for a moment as if daring him to challenge any of that, then dropped them back to the slow action between the other man's legs.
"You gonna make me watch the whole thing here?" Sawyer changed the subject, lifting his eyebrows carefully and licking his lips once more.
"Possibly, I haven't yet decided what it is I want to do with you tonight. However, for now, you can touch yourself. If you think you're going to come, though, you have to stop." The idea of Josh slowly milking his cock as he watched Naveen touch himself, that pink tongue swiping out unconsciously as he prepared his lips to hold another man.... it made Naveen leak. A small wet spot began to form on the front of his pants, and his eyes never left Sawyer's.
"Now keep telling your story. You say that this is the only person you've encountered in your life you would have chosen to stay with permanently? More than a few nights rarely counts as love... If that were true..." He trailed off, and his lips twitched downward. "You're just not the type."
Sawyer nodded, dropping his hand to his cock and slowly beginning to stroke himself, as he got more comfortable by resting back on his ankles.
"I don’t know whether we would have..." he went on at the prompt, unsure whether he could say more about the feeling behind what had happened with Matt, "But, like I said, I was a different person then. I might have been swayed if things had ended differently. He was... not like most men I went with then." Josh paused, closing his eyes for a moment as he made a conscious effort to slow his strokes down and not to think of Matt the way he was then. Opening them again, he added, "Not like most men I go with now, come to think of it."
His eyes flew to Naveen's, a slight flush rising, and then he dropped them to continue watching the other man touch himself, the wet spot on his pants holding Sawyer's attention as a further throb of desire went through him.
Naveen was having a hell of a time processing all of this. He knew that it was real, that it had happened. He was sure of it earlier, when he had gone to Ian, but to have such intimate details was almost too much for him now.
Josh and Doctor Jack really were all wrong for each other. Naveen was surprised that anything sexual had ever been between them--from what he knew of each man's likes, they were completely incompatible. Josh only liked his men dark, and all the better if they would hurt him. Jack liked his boys to be girls, and was too often drunk to even aim a hit.
"And what about the lovemaking?" He would regret it if he didn't ask. Without that, the picture would never be complete.
Sawyer continued his slow strokes, still watching Naveen's hand, but he frowned, trying to understand just what his Dom wanted to know. Was he asking if Josh liked the same things with his lover then? In the end, he wasn't sure so he simply asked, looking up with puzzlement, "What do you mean? He didn't hit me?" he shook his head, remembering how different things had been then; how much care he had taken with Matt and how little pain there had been between them until the very end…. He gulped, pushing the thought away and concentrating on the motion between Naveen's legs as he went on, "No, I… I didn’t understand all that then."
"That wasn't what I meant." Naveen's jaw tightened. "You're stroking your cock, Joshua. Seeing your past. I want to hear every detail about how it was with him. How it felt. What you were thinking. What he tasted like. Where you fucked. Everything that goes through your head, I want to know."
Josh couldn’t keep touching himself, the memory of his hands gentle on Matt’s skin too strong suddenly. Closing his eyes, he took a deep breath before opening them again, his hand resting against one thigh now.
"You... you really want to know about all that?" he asked, unable to look at Naveen. Sawyer wasn't altogether sure he could tell the whore any of those things without exposing too much of feelings he’d not shared with anyone in the intervening years.
Naveen paused. Did he really want to know? Yes. Yes, he did. Why did he want to know, though? Why was it so important for him to know what things were like between Joshua and Jack? Even if they were in love.
And there it was. He knew that he had to hear this, because he needed to know what Josh felt like when enamored with someone. Not that Naveen believed that he would discover anything, except for maybe a new facet of Josh's personality that Naveen could exploit.
Finally, he settled on simply saying, "Yes."
Sawyer felt his heart speed up as Naveen answered. He still couldn’t look at the man’s face, so settled his eyes back on the other man’s hand between his legs before speaking once more, the words nervous and hesitant.
"He... hadn't really been with a man properly before. Knew what he wanted, I suppose, but not what to do. I... I showed him. It felt good to be in charge for a change." Suddenly worried that the whore would think he was angling for something different between them this time, his eyes shot to meet Naveen's briefly and then he dropped them away again, a slight flush rising to his cheeks as he added, "Not that I don't like how things are now. With you."
Naveen felt an odd sense of pride when Josh was quick to affirm the validity of what they did together. It went back to how he battled with his feelings towards the other man, as the words warmed his heart. So distracted he was by the blond's words, it took him a moment before the other things Sawyer said sank in.
At which point he realized that his favored client was admitting to fucking his old lover--Doctor Jack. So it would be a total role reversal for the both of them. He paused for another moment to picture Josh shoving Jack over a couch, and shoving into him. It made Naveen's stomach twist to think of them locked in a lover's embrace, kissing how he and Sawyer almost had... Yet still, Naveen's dick twitched and he pushed down on it with the ball of his hand.
Now with his voice pitched low, and his eyes calculating, Naveen purred, "Tell me why it felt good. Close your eyes, and feel it again for me."
Sawyer closed his eyes and almost absently began stroking himself. He couldn't say anything if his eyes were open. His heart was pounding in his own ears as he answered, "He was... I took my time, touched him all over... and then..."
Josh's breathing got heavier, remembering the feel of Matt's skin under his fingers; how responsive the man was to every touch, how glorious it had felt to have that kind of control over someone else, and he couldn't say any more just yet.
Naveen leaned forward, his eyes narrowing slightly. This new look on Josh's face was painful to watch, but the Dom knew he had to see. As Sawyer relieved his history, his expression was the perfect mirror of how he looked when he gave himself over to bliss. It made Naveen's blood boil. He might have found the idea of them as one briefly appealing, but he still couldn't understand what had drawn the two of them together. Jack didn't deserve Sawyer.
"What did he look like at that moment, Joshua? That perfect, perfect moment..." If only he knew, he could finally understand. Know how deep their love had run. How deep it still ran. How Sawyer spoke when love was indeed involved....
Sawyer's breathing had quickened even more as he closed his eyes and remembered. Now he was spiraling closer to release and Naveen's question was too intimate; too near a reminder of how much he had loved Matt. Those moments had been perfect and the only thing Josh had wanted at that time. But if he relived it now....
Opening his eyes, Sawyer stopped the action with his hand, not moving it away but not quite touching himself any longer.
"If I tell you that... I'll disobey your instruction," he murmured harshly, unable to meet Naveen's eyes.
When Sawyer forcibly came out of his lusty stupor, Naveen quirked a sculpted eyebrow. His client wouldn't look at him, but it wasn't the averted gaze of someone showing respect. The whispered words only piqued the Dom's curiosity even more. Which instruction Josh was talking about, he wasn't sure. There had been no rules, past or present, which kept Sawyer from talking about lovers. Several times, in fact, for the sheer purpose of trying to upset Naveen he would give explicit details of his most recent exploits.
Naveen suddenly realized what Sawyer meant, and despite his mixed feelings he shuddered at the visual of Josh unable to hold back his orgasm. "Place your hands on my legs. You will not touch your cock. You will not touch mine. You will, however, answer my question. Do not disappoint me."
Licking his lips, Sawyer nodded and rose up a little on his knees to move forward. He placed a hand on each of Naveen's thighs and looked into the man's eyes. The look reflected back at him was hard to read, not that Naveen's thoughts were ever clear to Sawyer, but it made his cock throb with need.
"He looked... the look in his eyes... was like I was the only other person in the world," Josh told Naveen, still studying the whore's eyes. He swallowed again, dropping his gaze at last to rest on the hand between Naveen's legs, a dark flush rising to his cheeks as he remembered that feeling.
"And I wanted that," he breathed, "I wanted to be that one person for him."
The only other person in the world.
Naveen had no idea what that felt like. He knew deep connections, intimacy that led to caring how the other felt... but not such devotion that eclipsed all else. He couldn't imagine what it would feel like; be like, to wake up in the morning in the arms of the person you have chosen. To spend the day talking to him about everything from the weather to politics, making each other laugh... cooking dinner together, before going to bed, completing the cycle. To drift off with his nose buried in silky golden locks....
Naveen's walls came slamming down; barriers to keep anyone from coming in and him from going out. It was safer, better, preferable that way. "And how did you end up telling this to a whore?"
Keeping his eyes on Naveen's hand, Sawyer swallowed and said nothing for a moment. Why was he telling all this to Naveen? Because the man asked, or because Sawyer needed someone to understand he hadn't always been the way he was now? He'd never told anyone about his relationship with Matthew, and while Naveen couldn't know who Sawyer was talking about, the fact that he was telling someone anything at all about his former love was almost a surprise to Josh himself.
Naveen hadn't spoken yet, as if allowing Sawyer time to get his thoughts in order. Sawyer wasn't sure they were in order, though. Finally and haltingly, he answered, "I... I don't know. Do you know? Something... makes me want to... tell you these things and I don't know what it is."
Dropping his eyes lower, Sawyer took his hands away from Naveen's thighs. His erection had drooped and he sat back on his heels, the pain tightening around his heart again. Shit! He had to get a grip on himself! He didn't usually let his guard down this far with Naveen. Usually Josh kept this kind of weakness for private moments when his regret ate away so bitterly that he had to drown himself in whiskey--much as he knew 'Jack' did more frequently--just so he could forget how much he had truly loved Matt.
"I think I need you to punish me now," he told Naveen harshly without looking up.
"Why should I?" Naveen hissed lowly, his eyes barely flicking over to look at the bowed head of his submissive. The Dom stopped stroking his own erection, letting the heel of his palm press down against the length. "What have you done to deserve my favors?"
Naveen was in near physical pain because of Josh's reasons for this conversation. This was a new game that he played, one that Naveen doubted was honest. Sawyer didn't understand 'honest.' "Let me guess... you are merely so far into the fantasy of your doctor, you want to add the one thing that he himself could never give you. I am no surrogate." Naveen sat, looking down on the blond. The other's shrinking cock did not go unnoticed, but he did not call attention to it.
"No!" Josh let out, shaking his head angrily and lifting his eyes to scowl at his Dom, "I never wanted that from him! Never! You're the only one..." I ever really wanted to make me feel like you do, but Sawyer couldn't say it; couldn't finish the sentence, the truth was too painful.
"As for your favors..." He finally managed to get out, looking down again, hoping Naveen saw it as deferential enough, and went on wearily, "Just do what you're paid for. If that doesn't include fucking me, then so be it."
Sawyer's heart was contracting painfully by now and the last thing he wanted was for Naveen to read his expression. Without waiting for permission, he got up and lay face down on the bed, closing his eyes and reaching his arms up towards the headboard as if expecting to be tied up.
Naveen's eyes narrowed into slits as Josh started to speak with such anger. It was an interesting reaction, one he didn't often get. Most by now would be pleading for his forgiveness. Sawyer was almost defending his relationship with Jack, as if the mere thought of adding their games sickened him.
As soon as Sawyer laid himself out on the bed, Naveen was in motion. He moved so smoothly, it was as if he had leaped onto the bed, straddling his client. His aching cock dug into the other man's back, the layer of fine silk maddening as it rubbed against his flesh. With one hand he reached up and grabbed Josh's wrist, and twisted his arm about behind his back. The other hand tangled in blond strands, and yanked, pulling Sawyer's head up so Naveen could look in his face.
"What makes you think what I'm paid to do requires me to tie you down? I am paid to dominate you in whatever way I see fit. If I deemed it an appropriate punishment, I could leave you here alone and hard until you had learned your lesson. And you would pay for that time gladly, because you would know that it pleased me that you were finally being good. However, with your current behavior, I don't even know if you deserve that."
Sawyer gasped at the rough treatment, showing the whites of his eyes in his sudden lurching fear. He'd truly made Naveen angry now, he could feel it. Normally the man was much more restrained in his manner, although he would never hold back from any punishment that Sawyer deserved. The pressure of Naveen's cock against his back showed that this wasn't the end of today's session though and Sawyer's own cock pulsed hotly under him in response.
"No, no, I don't deserve it," he offered, finally returning to the submissive place he should have already been occupying. Naveen was quite right, he hadn't been acting his usual part at all and he didn't deserve any leniency. "W-what do you want me to do?"
Naveen moved his head even closer, his lips brushing against the whorl of Josh's ear. "I want you to tell me to why someone who found such perfection in someone so chaste, pure, and loving... someone who saw him as the only person in the world... would spend all his free time and money on whores. Most of them filth who don't even know your name, and have forgotten you by the time the night is over." Except, Naveen was not one of those people. Sawyer, for some reason, wouldn't allow him to be one. For reasons unknown, beyond his skills, Josh kept returning to him. Infected his thoughts in a way no other client had.
Sawyer tensed as Naveen spoke, angry at himself for giving away so much, his eyes closing as the other man breathed into his ear.
"Because..." he gritted out from between clenched teeth, "...because... no one else ever saw me that way. Because this way I can..." and all the fight went out of him at the last word as he whispered it, "...forget."
"But you obviously aren't forgetting, Joshua. You're thinking about what it would be like to settle down again." He let go of Sawyer's arm, and Naveen's fingers slowly trailed up his arm, over his shoulder, and then down once more over his back. "Your body is craving someone it can give itself to completely..." It had to be, there was no other reason why Naveen was reacting to Josh as he had been lately. "And yet this one unfortunate situation, that you have freely admitted you would have had no future with, has made it so you give nothing but your money."
Naveen let go of Sawyer's hair, letting his client's head fall down against the pillow. His now free hands ran up and down Josh's arms, again and again, only occasionally moving to stroke down his sides. He knew he didn't--couldn't--love his Joshua in the way he needed. But if they had met in a different time, in a different place... Maybe he would have been the person who saw no one but this special man.
Sawyer pushed his face into the pillow, eyes closed tightly. You're wrong, you're wrong went through his head, but he couldn't say it. He was so wound up now, he couldn't risk saying anything.
Not opening his eyes yet, but relaxing them so they weren't clenched so tightly, Sawyer took several deep breaths and let them out slowly, trying to calm his thumping heart. His skin felt so sensitive where Naveen was stroking him now, almost as if the man had already been whipping it, and Sawyer concentrated on the sensation, giving in to it so that he wouldn't think on the words.
If Naveen would only let him in, maybe things could be different. But the man had always been so cold... apart from when he was angry with Sawyer, like now, or when he was fired up, punishing him and making Sawyer cry out for more.
"This is the closest..." Sawyer whispered, unaware he had spoken aloud.
Naveen had known that Sawyer was getting too close. That he was forming bonds to his Dom best unsuited to those in their situation. That he was, dare Naveen even think it, falling in love with him. Yet, knowing all of this, it was a huge shock to him to hear the words aloud.
Without another word, he stood, and moved to the cupboard where he stored his supplies. He unlocked the doors quickly, and pulled them open without the normal theatrics. "Tell me what it is you want, Joshua."
"You."
The word came out of Josh's mouth before he could stop it and his heart fluttered as he realized how it sounded. Licking his lips, Sawyer turned his head to watch where Naveen had gone. He was scared; not of the man physically, but that the Dom would know his weakness now, how he wished... but no, he couldn't think on that, it wasn't true. Sawyer wouldn't allow it to be!
Hoping Naveen would just think he'd stuttered, that the meaning was something different altogether, he quickly went on, "You... to beat me, hurt me, make me forget again."
A jolt hit Naveen when he heard Josh speak, and he clamped a hand over his mouth. He wasn't sure if he could continue with tonight's session, no matter how long Josh had paid for. He knew that the words following the first half-whispered one were not meant to be there, and Naveen's eyes fell down. He had had customers infatuated with him before... but this was different. Very different. Naveen couldn't trust himself to speak, but even if he could, he could not think of any words to say.
To distract himself from his melancholy thoughts, he pulled out bits of equipment and a vial of oil. Finally, he turned to face his client. Moving back to the bed, he set most of the items aside. Taking some silk sashes, he began to wind them around Josh's wrists. "Slow tonight."
Sawyer took a deep breath and turned his face out of Naveen's line of sight. "Slow is good," he murmured as he closed his eyes, savouring the gentle touch for what it was in what seemed like the first time in a very long time.
Why he had told Naveen any of that, he couldn't now say, and he felt drained, weak, unable to take what he would normally expect. Somehow, he thought perhaps he had upset Naveen too, that he was so unlike his usual self, but how that could be he wasn't sure. It wasn't as if the man felt any more for him than any of his other clients, or not that Sawyer could tell, in any case.
Lifting the now-bound hands, Naveen attached them to the hook conveniently placed on the headboard. Now his client was perfectly spread out, unable to move himself very far away.
"I am going to try something new, Josh... I learned this from a Japanese man during my stay in London. Shibari, he called it. I think you'll enjoy it."
Naveen should have done this long ago, but the right circumstances never arose until now. Picking up his finest length of hemp rope, a full eight meters, he began to wind it around the man.
Fairly soon a diamond design appeared in rope on Sawyer's skin. Pushing the man's legs, he sat them up so his feet lay flat on the bed. Using another length of rope, he began to bind the man's calves to his thighs, and ran the lengths of soft rope up the man's crease.
Sawyer had rolled over onto his back at Naveen's urging so he could be tied to the headboard, and now, as the man began to wind rope around him, he found himself fascinated. This was very different from anything he'd done or had done to him before. There was sensuousness to the binding that Sawyer found himself responding to, when normally so much harsher punishment got his blood racing.
And it was beautiful. The patterns Naveen was making against his body were wonderfully aligned with the curves of his muscles, the angles of his joints and creases, and Sawyer could feel the tension easing out of him. Naveen appeared to caress him so much more gently and smoothly than he had ever done before, and the concentration and care in each twist and turn of the rope was pushing Josh towards a place he so seldom reached without pain.
The fire spread through him, burning warmly but deeply, and Sawyer couldn't take his eyes off Naveen's hands as he worked.
Stepping back, Naveen surveyed his handiwork. Sawyer looked unbelievable--a piece of art. The pro wished he had some way to capture the moment, but he hadn't planned on something like this or wanting to keep the memory. He leaned forward once more, twisting the rope so it laid differently. There, now he was perfect.
Grabbing at the discarded bottle of oil, Naveen coated his fingers. The blond was bound and spread--there was no way he could protect his most secret place. He trailed now-wet fingers up and down the man's cleft, burrowing between the soft strength of the rope.
Then, finally, he pressed the pad of his finger up against the puckered hole, waiting for admittance.
As Naveen stepped back and admired what he'd done, Sawyer's heart lurched. The look in his eyes, like Josh was somehow perfect now, was so close to the way Matt had once looked at him all those years ago that he couldn't bear it. After having just told Naveen something about that time, his emotions were obviously far too close to the surface and he was projecting somehow. There was no way Naveen felt what Matt had professed to feel. He was just admiring what he had done, that was all.
Closing his eyes as the whore stepped closer again and willing the slight trembling inside him to subside, Josh almost tensed up when Naveen's finger found his entrance, but a deep breath and moving his thoughts back to the beauty of how the ropes made him feel soon had him back on track. He relaxed, opening his eyes and waiting.
When he felt Sawyer relax, Naveen slipped the tip of one finger inside. He gave the man a moment to relax, and then pushed it in all the way. Not as relaxed as he could be, but on the way. He rolled his finger, aiming for the man's prostate. Slowly, ever so slowly, he manipulated the man's gland, just enough to tease him and make him insane with lust.
Another finger was added, and then another. He wanted Josh more open then he ever had been before he even thought about taking him. Naveen fucked him maddeningly slow, in and out, in and out, in and out, twist….
"How many more, Joshua? And you do only get fingers for now..."
Oh God... The light touch over his sweet spot made him jerk, though Sawyer couldn't move far due to the way he was restrained. His cock pulsed as Naveen added more fingers and began to fuck him so slowly that he had to bite his lip to stop himself begging for the whore to speed up. There would be no asking, or Naveen would only go slower to punish him for his audacity.
At each twist of those amazing fingers, Sawyer gasped, and when Naveen asked how many more, he choked back a groan, already feeling more stretched than he had been in quite some while. He was desperate to have his cock touched now; it felt as though it would explode but the agonisingly slow movements in and out of him weren't allowing him close enough to the edge... in and he'd feel like he was almost there as the fingers stroked over his sensitive gland... out and the feeling would recede just a little... in and it would close in on him... and the circle would go infuriatingly around again.
Sawyer's breathing was so harsh now at the effort of keeping up with the movements, he couldn't even answer Naveen's question, and his chest tightened at the intensity of the whole experience. This was almost sending him to the place only the usual flogging could manage. He barely cared that he hadn't answered.
"Maybe I should give you my whole hand? Reach up inside you until I can practically touch your heart?" Naveen teased his little finger against the sensitized skin. "Then fuck my hand inside your arse?" He wouldn't go this far with Sawyer, not unless he specifically asked for it. But Naveen always loved presenting ideas that were so far out of reach to Josh.
He stilled his hand, eyes locking with Sawyer. "Maybe I should just leave you?"
The whole hand? Sawyer had never taken that much, and while what was inside him now was incredible, keeping him so close to the edge and yet so far away, he couldn't imagine that, although were the man to follow through on his threat right now, he wasn't sure he'd be able to stop him. He gasped more heavily as Naveen made the suggestion, unable to answer.
However, when the fingers stopped moving, he groaned in disappointment, and at the second threat he pleaded anxiously, "No! Please... no!"
Josh knew it sounded desperate, but he was. The thought that Naveen would not only leave him to hang just below the pinnacle of his climax, but actually leave him--never see him again--was too much to bear. In his current state, he could barely establish what he was supposed to be thinking about their relationship, and the chance that Naveen really meant this frightened him somehow.
Something twisted painfully inside Naveen's chest as Joshua begged, and it made his cock jump dramatically in the confines of his silk pants. He removed his fingers from Sawyer's hole, wiping them on a nearby rag. There was nowhere the blond could go, he could barely even wiggle when he was hobbled this way.
"Why not, Joshua? If I left you now, you could just find Greg, or Craig... maybe your Warrick... and have one of them finish you off. If you were able to get yourself untied, that is." Naveen ran his fingers up Josh's length, flicking at the head.
"No, please..." Sawyer begged frantically, almost at the point of tears now that Naveen had removed his fingers. "They don't do to me what you do! Only you!" he let out, unable to stop himself, writhing as well as he was able in the restrictive binding.
Gasping for breath, he gulped as Naveen flicked at his cock, straining towards the fingers, though he would never be able to reach them on his own. He couldn't tell the man that he had actually fucked Greg, which he'd just admitted about his relationship with Matt.... Possibly, Naveen knew what he’d done with the other whore, but he didn't think so. Who would tell Naveen about their encounter with Sawyer? Not many of the boys here, he didn't think, for fear of what Naveen's reaction might be. He guarded his special client only too well, though he knew Sawyer played around.
"Please fuck me?" Sawyer asked now, trying not to sound too needy and largely failing.
Naveen shook his head to himself. He was crazy, completely insane. As evidenced by Sawyer's words. He had to remember that, when he started to question the gambler's motives. There was no one else who could do this to Josh. That was the only reason the man believed he felt anything. As soon as he found someone else to beat him, especially someone he didn't pay, the feelings would be gone.
Obsession he could deal with, and for now, the tears and the begging might just be acceptable. The pro's cock certainly thought so. Naveen circled around so he was at the head of the bed, so he could pet the man's hair and shush him. Calm yourself, his eyes seemed to say. Swooping his head, he took a framed nipple between his teeth, biting. He switched to the other nipple, repeating the treatment. His lips continued downwards, kissing and nipping his way through the crossing ropes. The flat of his tongue swiped across Sawyer's sacs as Naveen crawled onto the mattress. His pants were left crumpled on the floor.
He picked up the oil, pouring more over his fingers. Dark fingers circled an even darker cock, and Naveen hissed with pleasure as he thrust in and out of his fist a few times.
Oh God, oh God, oh God!
Sawyer could barely stand it. The man was being incredibly cruel and yet not beating him for a change, and it was fantastic and horrible and amazing and oh God! He groaned as Naveen reached his balls, and then began thrashing in his bindings again as the man stroked himself. He was almost panicked, his heart beating furiously and he struggled as if he could seriously get free, although there was no chance.
"Please!" he cried once more, his voice hoarse with effort as he finally stopping the pointless struggling, "Please Naveen, I can't take this any more, just fuck me!"
Naveen paused in his ministrations, watching the other man carefully. Not often did Sawyer lie so still. His voice was nothing but a rasp, but still urgent. The pro growled his pleasure, pushing himself between the blond's forcefully spread thighs. He should let Josh stew a little longer, but after the emotions behind this scene he doubted either could wait.
As he pressed his cock against the puckered opening, Naveen was admitted much more easily than the last time. Now his cock just sank in with no resistance, the body beneath him welcoming him like he was coming home. "Slowwww," he hissed, as he dragged his cock back out at an agonizing pace.
Sawyer took a deep breath as Naveen slid in like he was returning to his favorite place, which perhaps he was. Oh God! It was so perfect, so complete, to be filled by him this way. Trembling as he watched the dark whore pull out again so gradually that he could feel every ridge of the man's cock, Sawyer let the breath out almost as slowly.
It was agonizing, but this was what he wanted; the feeling of losing himself to Naveen's pleasure, his aching cock desperate for relief but knowing that would only happen when the whore was good and ready. Even if he wasn't touched there he could come, he knew this, but only if Naveen allowed it. The man was a master of delaying orgasm, and sometimes, Sawyer would be allowed to get so close he thought it was too late, but somehow Naveen would hold him back, intensifying the feeling until Sawyer thought he would pass out, and then if it was done just right, he'd come again in no time flat, the release almost more incredible the second time around.
Watching Naveen's cock as he drew out, Sawyer lifted his eyes to the man's face as he felt the deep spiral of absolute lust twist through him, and he waited, chest tightening.
Naveen slowed his thrusts even more as he felt Sawyer ripple around him. The man was close, and if something didn't happen to change that, the fun would be over all too soon. The whore felt his client's eyes on him, so he deliberately kept his eyes locked on where his own cock sawed between the blond's cheeks.
"Don't." His hand circled the other man's cock, squeezing at the base. Flicking his eyes up, he met Sawyer's for a brief moment. Naveen was rocked by the feeling behind them, the heat. "Don't." He repeated, but he wasn't sure it meant the same thing.
Dropping his head, Naveen nipped once more at Josh's puckered nipples; biting, chewing, nothing but teeth. It gave more of the pain Sawyer loved to him, and kept himself from staring into those beautiful green eyes.
The deep thrusts were still driving Sawyer on, despite the incredible slowness of them. Gasping more as Naveen squeezed at him, delaying the rising orgasm as he uttered a simple Don't, Sawyer continued to watch the man, the need building and he wasn't even sure it had anything to do with coming.
When Naveen's eyes met his, he knew his need was evident; could see it's reflection in pools of liquid chocolate, and the Don't this time seemed less sure. Sawyer's heart contracted painfully at the word, surely only for the tone, not for any other reason. Then Naveen was attacking his nipples, tearing his dark eyes away and making Sawyer writhe again, the whimpers coming without pause. He was feeling light-headed now as the sultry East Indian continued to pulse slowly in and out of him, every now and then squeezing to disallow Sawyer anything but the building pressure. Truly, he was going to explode soon.
The pro couldn't look up, couldn't react. He was paid to hurt, to fuck. He had to do his job. He kept reminding himself no matter what he believed he saw in Sawyer's eyes besides want, it wasn't real. And even if the emotion really did lurk behind those eyes, the feelings really would disappear as soon as Naveen cut contact. Josh was as deep as a puddle. Love, or even true affection, was beyond his grasp.
Naveen sighed (and hoped his client took it as one of pleasure), and rested his forehead against two overlapping lines of rope. Briefly releasing his grasp on the man's cock, his hands pushed Sawyer's bound feet and legs off the bedding, throwing off the blond's balance and impaling him farther on Naveen's length.
Once they settled into the new position, Naveen was quick to cut off the blood flow to Joshua's erection once more. His thrusts sped up as he realized he no longer felt any urge to play this particular game. He too wanted completion.
"Christ!" Sawyer cried as Naveen altered the game by throwing his limbs around and causing the cock to strike him more deeply within. The speeding up of the other man's thrusts indicated he'd finished playing now in any case, and although he was holding things back for Josh, Sawyer couldn't complain. The pleasure was so intense when he got like this, practically all he'd have to do was let go of the cock once more now and Sawyer would be over the edge. For some reason he didn’t quite understand, he barely cared suddenly, just wanting his Naveen to come first and hold him tight as he reached the pinnacle shortly afterwards.
Josh was so far gone that he couldn't even imagine why his thoughts were leading him where they were. He just knew it was helping him reach orgasm, pushing him to the outer limits of pleasure. Thinking of Naveen as his, and wanting to be held afterwards meant nothing else; he wouldn’t allow it. Closing his eyes tight, he pictured another time when brown eyes looked into his with love. It helped, that’s all, he told himself.
Naveen's eyes flicked up briefly from where they were resting on Sawyer's chest. The man was tightening around him again, and Naveen feared he was going to orgasm, even if he didn't come. But then, oh gods, that look. He would bet that Sawyer was flying, so far gone that he could just feel wave after wave of pleasure.
"You'll never settle down," He hissed against the heated skin of his client. "Never." He thrust in one, three, five more times and then released his control over himself, filling the tight channel that gripped him with his release. He cried out, something he didn't usually do. "Cock whore," He panted as he pulled back. His fingers slipped from where they had gripped, finally freeing Sawyer's erection.
Sawyer didn't really hear the words so much as feel the vehemence behind them as he squeezed hard around Naveen's cock and the man spurted hard inside him. As he pulled back and let Sawyer go, the gambler felt the loss deeply, but the blood quickly filled his cock and he thrust into empty air as the globules of his come practically jumped out of him, spattering back against his exhausted body.
Unable to rest properly due to the bindings, Sawyer sagged back, his heart pumping so wildly that his ears buzzed and his head spun and he was gasping for breath he thought he might never catch. He couldn't open his eyes yet; couldn’t bear to see what was in Naveen's cool gaze now he'd gotten what he deserved once more, no matter how much less of a punishment it seemed on the surface.
Word Count: ~9945
Glossary of Terms:
Shibari: Shibari is a Japanese word that literally means "to tie" or "to bind". Also used to describe a Japanese style of sexual bondage using simple yet visually intricate patterns.
TBC next week