ben folds wrote a song about ME!
I took her with me to the Christmas office party; mistake.
She did a line and started spouting all her liberal garbage; Bro, I'm so ashamed.
I never heard such shit in all my life.
I hoped one day to mold you into the perfect wife.
But you blew my hopes sky high.
The bitch went nuts.
Started talking about politics.
In front of all my bosses; bullshit from the internet.
The bitch went nuts.
I'll never be a partner at this rate.
Not with Jane fucking Fonda Jr. as my date.
Oh no! Oh no, no! Oh!
It took me and a couple of men to restrain her; you should've seen her.
When she freaked out and keyed John Franklin Jr.'s brand new...Beamer.
She called us bigots with her fist in the air.
And as she did they all could see all her armpit hair.
Now they think that I'm a fucking asshole.
The bitch went nuts.
Started talking about vegetables to the wives of all my coworkers.
Yeah, cruelty to animals.
She thinks because she reads books she must be smarter.
But now when I close my eyes, I'll be fucking Jimmy Carter.
Oh no! Oh no, no! Oh no, no!
Couldn't you have just nodded and smiled
From nine to twelve pm
Instead of telling your conspiracy theories
To all my bosses
And all my friends?
The bitch went nuts. (Nuts!)
Started putting down the Christians.
And all about what the white man did to the Indians.
How could I know that she never done blow before?
She shouted "fuck Dick Cheney!" and then she puked on the Franklin's floor.
Oh no! Oh no! Oh no, no! Oh no, no! Oh no! Oh right.
She did a line and started spouting all her liberal garbage; Bro, I'm so ashamed.
I never heard such shit in all my life.
I hoped one day to mold you into the perfect wife.
But you blew my hopes sky high.
The bitch went nuts.
Started talking about politics.
In front of all my bosses; bullshit from the internet.
The bitch went nuts.
I'll never be a partner at this rate.
Not with Jane fucking Fonda Jr. as my date.
Oh no! Oh no, no! Oh!
It took me and a couple of men to restrain her; you should've seen her.
When she freaked out and keyed John Franklin Jr.'s brand new...Beamer.
She called us bigots with her fist in the air.
And as she did they all could see all her armpit hair.
Now they think that I'm a fucking asshole.
The bitch went nuts.
Started talking about vegetables to the wives of all my coworkers.
Yeah, cruelty to animals.
She thinks because she reads books she must be smarter.
But now when I close my eyes, I'll be fucking Jimmy Carter.
Oh no! Oh no, no! Oh no, no!
Couldn't you have just nodded and smiled
From nine to twelve pm
Instead of telling your conspiracy theories
To all my bosses
And all my friends?
The bitch went nuts. (Nuts!)
Started putting down the Christians.
And all about what the white man did to the Indians.
How could I know that she never done blow before?
She shouted "fuck Dick Cheney!" and then she puked on the Franklin's floor.
Oh no! Oh no! Oh no, no! Oh no, no! Oh no! Oh right.