my 2006-2008 love story
two years ago, i met this guy who turned my real world into a fairytale... we've been best of friends, we've been partners in crime, we worked things out between his family and mine. everything went out so great. then came a time we have to be far from each other. we had to deal with the so called 'long distance relationship'.. for more than a year, things still went good. we always keep in touch. we always see to it that we still find time for each other. we see each other for a couple of times in a month, depending on our schedule. my family was good to him, and his family was good to me too. we made promises to each other. we trusted each other. we loved each other.
then things went tough on my part. i had problems with my family, i had problems with my course and problems with myself. though he is far from me, i always believed that he'd keep his promise and that he'd always be there for me. i trusted him. then things went more difficult for me. i ended up always on bad mood and there are times that i'm so mean to him. but then i thought everything is doing fine between us.
august 14, 2008
he called me up and i can feel the coldness in his voice.. as we go through our conversation, he just said ' prexy, pagod na ko. pagod na ko sa pagtrato mo sakin. hindi ko na kaya..'. i was in a very bad mood that time because it was my first day of my period plus the problems and all. i ended up saying ' so pagod ka na? gusto mo na akong i-break? sige bahala ka.' then i hung up and turned off my phone... i wasn't able to sleep that night. i never thought he'd say that. then again, i said to myself "i trust him. he'll never leave me."
the other day, for the whole day, he didn't bother to call.. i was worried. i keep on calling him that night but he did not answer my calls. the next day, he's still not answering my calls... then that night he finally answered my call. i was already crying and hysterically saying "wag mo akong iwan!" for countless times. i keep on asking if he still loves me, he said "you know how much i love you." then i said "punta ka dito, gusto na kita makita".. he said "expect me this week." my mom came and saw the whole situation and asked me to calm down.
the next day.. he still wouldn't call. i keep on calling him but he's rejecting all my calls and there are instances that his phone would be unattended. i felt like the world ended when he finally answered my call and said "prexy, ayaw ko na. tama na. pagod na ko. manhid na ko."
days passed and i keep on asking him to forgive me, and to give me another chance and that we can still work it out. but i got a very rude treatment and the same answer "ayoko na. pagod na ko. tama na."
i couldn't take it. i almost lost my mind. i attempted to commit siucide. i've done lots of stupid things for i cannot endure the pain of losing him. all the while, he keeps on pointing out my faults.. that i'm the reason why this happend to us. i blamed my self. i cannot eat, sleep or do things normally. i could've died.
but then, my family and friends are there for me.. so i started to feel okay somehow but still cannot eat and sleep. everytime i tried to eat, i'd just throw it up. i lost weight.
i lost my pride, beging him to forgive me and come back to me.
I TORTURED MYSELF. all the while i thought it was all really my fault. but God is good. i found out the real reason behind all his actions towards me. HE ALREADY FOUND ANOTHER. its only been two weeks and five days since our official break up.
I WAS HURT. i was hurt because i also found out that even before things got worse between us.. this girl was already in the picture and i was blinded by my trust and love for him to see all this coming. one of my close friends, who happend to be in the same school with my EX, told me everything about them. I WAS REALLY HURT. i mean how could he do this to me? all the while i blamed myself for all this only to find out that there's another girl??
i didn't know how to react at first. i said to myself 'this is just a dream.. perhaps a nightmare.' but hey! reality check... BOYS WILL BE BOYS. i was such a fool to believe that this was all my fault. He made me believe that i've made all this.
Now, THE TRUTH PREVAILED ITSELF. it wasn't my fault after all. he told me i pushed him away but now i can see that he pushed ME away from him. that is why he's been acting so cold because he's eyeing on someone already even before things got worse between us. Now, there's NO MORE "US" TO SAVE.
i fought for him, begged for him to take me back and all those stupid lame things i did just to prove to him i love him... but because of what i've found out, it just shows that he doesn't deserve even a single drop of tear coming out of my eyes! i've been loyal/faithful/honest to him and this is all i get? he doesn't deserve to be trusted, to be loved by someone like me who gave every thing to him and still wasn't enough.
Now i know i should really move on and leave it all behind.. NO MORE FAIRYTALE. THAT FAIRYTALE IS A LIE. maybe THEY really deserve and meant for each other, and me? i know my worth and i deserve the best.
after all, The TRUTH shall set you free.. ü
♥prexy
then things went tough on my part. i had problems with my family, i had problems with my course and problems with myself. though he is far from me, i always believed that he'd keep his promise and that he'd always be there for me. i trusted him. then things went more difficult for me. i ended up always on bad mood and there are times that i'm so mean to him. but then i thought everything is doing fine between us.
august 14, 2008
he called me up and i can feel the coldness in his voice.. as we go through our conversation, he just said ' prexy, pagod na ko. pagod na ko sa pagtrato mo sakin. hindi ko na kaya..'. i was in a very bad mood that time because it was my first day of my period plus the problems and all. i ended up saying ' so pagod ka na? gusto mo na akong i-break? sige bahala ka.' then i hung up and turned off my phone... i wasn't able to sleep that night. i never thought he'd say that. then again, i said to myself "i trust him. he'll never leave me."
the other day, for the whole day, he didn't bother to call.. i was worried. i keep on calling him that night but he did not answer my calls. the next day, he's still not answering my calls... then that night he finally answered my call. i was already crying and hysterically saying "wag mo akong iwan!" for countless times. i keep on asking if he still loves me, he said "you know how much i love you." then i said "punta ka dito, gusto na kita makita".. he said "expect me this week." my mom came and saw the whole situation and asked me to calm down.
the next day.. he still wouldn't call. i keep on calling him but he's rejecting all my calls and there are instances that his phone would be unattended. i felt like the world ended when he finally answered my call and said "prexy, ayaw ko na. tama na. pagod na ko. manhid na ko."
days passed and i keep on asking him to forgive me, and to give me another chance and that we can still work it out. but i got a very rude treatment and the same answer "ayoko na. pagod na ko. tama na."
i couldn't take it. i almost lost my mind. i attempted to commit siucide. i've done lots of stupid things for i cannot endure the pain of losing him. all the while, he keeps on pointing out my faults.. that i'm the reason why this happend to us. i blamed my self. i cannot eat, sleep or do things normally. i could've died.
but then, my family and friends are there for me.. so i started to feel okay somehow but still cannot eat and sleep. everytime i tried to eat, i'd just throw it up. i lost weight.
i lost my pride, beging him to forgive me and come back to me.
I TORTURED MYSELF. all the while i thought it was all really my fault. but God is good. i found out the real reason behind all his actions towards me. HE ALREADY FOUND ANOTHER. its only been two weeks and five days since our official break up.
I WAS HURT. i was hurt because i also found out that even before things got worse between us.. this girl was already in the picture and i was blinded by my trust and love for him to see all this coming. one of my close friends, who happend to be in the same school with my EX, told me everything about them. I WAS REALLY HURT. i mean how could he do this to me? all the while i blamed myself for all this only to find out that there's another girl??
i didn't know how to react at first. i said to myself 'this is just a dream.. perhaps a nightmare.' but hey! reality check... BOYS WILL BE BOYS. i was such a fool to believe that this was all my fault. He made me believe that i've made all this.
Now, THE TRUTH PREVAILED ITSELF. it wasn't my fault after all. he told me i pushed him away but now i can see that he pushed ME away from him. that is why he's been acting so cold because he's eyeing on someone already even before things got worse between us. Now, there's NO MORE "US" TO SAVE.
i fought for him, begged for him to take me back and all those stupid lame things i did just to prove to him i love him... but because of what i've found out, it just shows that he doesn't deserve even a single drop of tear coming out of my eyes! i've been loyal/faithful/honest to him and this is all i get? he doesn't deserve to be trusted, to be loved by someone like me who gave every thing to him and still wasn't enough.
Now i know i should really move on and leave it all behind.. NO MORE FAIRYTALE. THAT FAIRYTALE IS A LIE. maybe THEY really deserve and meant for each other, and me? i know my worth and i deserve the best.
after all, The TRUTH shall set you free.. ü
♥prexy