and everyone knows except you [haven]
Title: and everyone knows except you
Fandom: Haven
Summary: He watches her do a lot of things.
Pairing: one sided Duke/Audrey
Rating: PG-13
Notes: My first Haven fic! I started a comm called havenfics and I'm hoping it takes off. :3 Posting this there, too. Spoilers to episode 10.
Duke watches her move (you look nice) and he watches her think and breathe and stress and work -
he watches her do a lot of things.
He imagines her doing something else. He imagines her bathing, some night. He's a man, isn't he? He's got that right - he imagines her long legs treading bath water, maybe a razor in her hand, maybe there are bubbles, maybe she's a showering kind of woman. He doesn't know.
Duke just knows that in the morning, he wakes up after dreaming about her, after dreaming about touching her and seeing her naked - and he feels fifteen again.
He feels ashamed.
It's not like he's never done this before - imagine a woman. It's just never felt this strange. The way she tugs at him, a horse in his reins, a great crane lifting him up and into the water, pushing and punishing and waiting for his light to go out. Waiting for him to do.
Audrey's not that malicious, but his dreams, she can be.
Aren't you silly, she says to him sometimes. They're on his boat, usually. It's what he knows. What's familiar. So he dreams about that.
Why?
Grow up, Duke. Grow up and do something.
I am doing something. I am something. She laughs.
Sure you are.
No one ever thought much of him. No one ever thought he'd do much, grow up to be much. There's a place they tried send him once, a camp in New Hampshire - he's not sure what it's called now, but he went there for a month, tried to be a better kid. Trouble making Duke. Lying, cheating, stealing Duke. Can't keep his hands off peoples' things. Can't keep his hands out of the cookie jar. Can't keep his hands off of - off of - off of her.
He likes to touch her, gently, carefully, when she's not looking. When her mind is far away, he'll accidentally brush her wrist and she won't notice.
He's not Nathan. He can feel that.
He's not Nathan. And that might be the problem.
He's not the wonderful and silent and brooding and broken Nathan.
Broken, yeah. Duke can be broken. Is broken. But he can't be Nathan. He can't be that man for her.
Audrey wants Nathan. And that's not a secret she can keep, even from Duke.
He's a real man, dream-Audrey says. Duke doesn't argue with her. Maybe Nathan is a real man.
(does she know you're not a real boy?)
Sometimes Duke thinks that the words he say just don't mean anything anymore. Like they hand in the air, limp and useless, sort of like him.
Sort of like he feels. Taking up space. Not being able to do much.
It might be God's grace, to be killed by the man with the compass tattoo.
Fandom: Haven
Summary: He watches her do a lot of things.
Pairing: one sided Duke/Audrey
Rating: PG-13
Notes: My first Haven fic! I started a comm called havenfics and I'm hoping it takes off. :3 Posting this there, too. Spoilers to episode 10.
Duke watches her move (you look nice) and he watches her think and breathe and stress and work -
he watches her do a lot of things.
He imagines her doing something else. He imagines her bathing, some night. He's a man, isn't he? He's got that right - he imagines her long legs treading bath water, maybe a razor in her hand, maybe there are bubbles, maybe she's a showering kind of woman. He doesn't know.
Duke just knows that in the morning, he wakes up after dreaming about her, after dreaming about touching her and seeing her naked - and he feels fifteen again.
He feels ashamed.
It's not like he's never done this before - imagine a woman. It's just never felt this strange. The way she tugs at him, a horse in his reins, a great crane lifting him up and into the water, pushing and punishing and waiting for his light to go out. Waiting for him to do.
Audrey's not that malicious, but his dreams, she can be.
Aren't you silly, she says to him sometimes. They're on his boat, usually. It's what he knows. What's familiar. So he dreams about that.
Why?
Grow up, Duke. Grow up and do something.
I am doing something. I am something. She laughs.
Sure you are.
No one ever thought much of him. No one ever thought he'd do much, grow up to be much. There's a place they tried send him once, a camp in New Hampshire - he's not sure what it's called now, but he went there for a month, tried to be a better kid. Trouble making Duke. Lying, cheating, stealing Duke. Can't keep his hands off peoples' things. Can't keep his hands out of the cookie jar. Can't keep his hands off of - off of - off of her.
He likes to touch her, gently, carefully, when she's not looking. When her mind is far away, he'll accidentally brush her wrist and she won't notice.
He's not Nathan. He can feel that.
He's not Nathan. And that might be the problem.
He's not the wonderful and silent and brooding and broken Nathan.
Broken, yeah. Duke can be broken. Is broken. But he can't be Nathan. He can't be that man for her.
Audrey wants Nathan. And that's not a secret she can keep, even from Duke.
He's a real man, dream-Audrey says. Duke doesn't argue with her. Maybe Nathan is a real man.
(does she know you're not a real boy?)
Sometimes Duke thinks that the words he say just don't mean anything anymore. Like they hand in the air, limp and useless, sort of like him.
Sort of like he feels. Taking up space. Not being able to do much.
It might be God's grace, to be killed by the man with the compass tattoo.