what was golden was grey [lost]
Title: what was golden is grey
Fandom: LOST
Summary: It's called masochism.
Characters: Ben, Claire
Rating: PG
Notes: For new_otherton, prompt divided.
Ben looks at Claire and sees the mother he didn't get to know.
Hidden away in a blue room, stoned and staring a mobiles and socks, she looks like a photograph Ben kept from the days when he was still his father's son.
But he doesn't dare speak to her.
He's far too good at projecting to stop himself from keeping her forever.
Ethan thinks she could stay with them. He's optimistic (idealistic) about it. And he and Ben clash like they always have over the smallest of things.
No, Ben says with more emotion than he meant. He can't keep her here. There's a chill he feels when she's near. He's certain that it has nothing to do with useless Oedipal complexes he's never really suffered from or daddy issues or sex drive. It's just her. Sitting in that chair.
It's just like the photograph.
Ethan still thinks she can stay. He thinks the rules can be bent and twisted to fit his plans. Ben knows that the rules must be followed to stop them both from falling into a trap they set for themselves ages ago. Children do those things to their future selves.
It's called masochism.
He dreams about her in the most normal of ways. Sitting across from her at the dinner table, handing her the salad bowl. She's like Alex, but blonde and wise. In his dream, they are matched in laughter and in smiles, but he's the one left to juggle all the tears he hasn't been allowed to shed since he was twelve.
He sends her away the next day because the dreams get worse and before he knows it there are memories he never meant to find surface in his waking hours. Ben isn't good at handling the past. He shoves it back down and tells Ethan to get rid of her any way he can.
She's gone, eventually, and Ben doesn't ask how (or if it's on purpose). He sleeps better now.
It's him alone with Alex and everything the way it's supposed to be. Ben burns the photograph.
He watches it smoulder in the kitchen sink. And he swears Claire burns away with it.
Fandom: LOST
Summary: It's called masochism.
Characters: Ben, Claire
Rating: PG
Notes: For new_otherton, prompt divided.
Ben looks at Claire and sees the mother he didn't get to know.
Hidden away in a blue room, stoned and staring a mobiles and socks, she looks like a photograph Ben kept from the days when he was still his father's son.
But he doesn't dare speak to her.
He's far too good at projecting to stop himself from keeping her forever.
Ethan thinks she could stay with them. He's optimistic (idealistic) about it. And he and Ben clash like they always have over the smallest of things.
No, Ben says with more emotion than he meant. He can't keep her here. There's a chill he feels when she's near. He's certain that it has nothing to do with useless Oedipal complexes he's never really suffered from or daddy issues or sex drive. It's just her. Sitting in that chair.
It's just like the photograph.
Ethan still thinks she can stay. He thinks the rules can be bent and twisted to fit his plans. Ben knows that the rules must be followed to stop them both from falling into a trap they set for themselves ages ago. Children do those things to their future selves.
It's called masochism.
He dreams about her in the most normal of ways. Sitting across from her at the dinner table, handing her the salad bowl. She's like Alex, but blonde and wise. In his dream, they are matched in laughter and in smiles, but he's the one left to juggle all the tears he hasn't been allowed to shed since he was twelve.
He sends her away the next day because the dreams get worse and before he knows it there are memories he never meant to find surface in his waking hours. Ben isn't good at handling the past. He shoves it back down and tells Ethan to get rid of her any way he can.
She's gone, eventually, and Ben doesn't ask how (or if it's on purpose). He sleeps better now.
It's him alone with Alex and everything the way it's supposed to be. Ben burns the photograph.
He watches it smoulder in the kitchen sink. And he swears Claire burns away with it.