this is a gift (comes with a price) [lost]
Title: this is a gift (comes with a price)
Fandom: LOST
Summary: You can get out any time you want to.
Pairing: Ben/Kate
Rating: R
Notes: For LadyFest '10, requested here for the wonderful flaky_artist.
Kate has nightmares about Ben. In them, he twists and contorts her body to fit into boxes that grow smaller and smaller. There is nothing in his eyes and she feels no pain. There are no bones in her body, no nerves under her skin. But she can clearly and sharply feel the rough touch of his hands as he forces her body into box after box until, eventually, she can't even see herself anymore. She wakes up with his voice ringing in her ear.
You can get out any time you want.
One dream fades into another sometimes. There are nights when she dreams she's on the beach with Hurley, watching him dig a whole in the sand, watching Ben pull arms and legs from the widening gap in the earth until the beach caves under her and she falls in, fingers dragging her down. And there he is again, his thin and pained face over hers.
You can get out any time you want.
Frustrated, she wakes up and paces, throws a vase at the wall and tugs at her hair. Aaron wakes up, terrified, and she blames Ben for all this. There's no one else to point a finger at. No one to blame for each recurring fit, each time she tries to push the walls of the boxes away, or pries the dead fingers from her skin. The sun sets over the tree line and Ben silently walks away, shovel heavy in his hands, not once looking back as she sinks.
Death follows her everywhere. Carole dies in January. Claire left months ago. She doesn't come to the funeral. And Aaron doesn't understand where all these women came from in the first place. Kate thinks that secretly, he's glad to have her to himself again. She tucks him into bed and sees him the way she used to.
But there's still the nightmares that plague her each time she closes her eyes. Jack stands on the beach, bleeding from his mouth and his gut, falling into the sand. Ben stands far away from them both, eyes empty, hands fulls of weeds and mango peels. Garbage he tosses into the sea. Fish he pulls back in. Something dies, something is born, he says simply, pulling fish after fish onto the sand until the smell of their rotting scales makes her sick and forces her away for a brief second, before pulling her back.
She dreams she's in a cabin, naked. A man in black clothes runs a hand down her spine. Jacob wouldn't have wanted it this way. He walks out the door and all the people they buried follow him into the jungle. Eko, Mars, Ana, Shannon, Boone. Jack ends the line. Ben appears in the doorway, watching them go. He turns his eyes on her, not staring at her bare skin, but through it, beyond it, past the window and the trees to the other side of the world.
There's a storm coming. You'll need this. He puts a pistol in her palm and kisses her wrist. Don't waste it. He moves to leave and she pulls him in.
Don't leave me.
I'm not really here.
Stay. He does and she forces him inside her on the bare floor of the cabin, dust covering her thighs and calves, her cheeks and jaw. Tears make deep ridges in the dirt that he brushes away with a calloused thumb. He comes hard against her, nails digging into her arms, drawing blood she thinks she might see when she wakes up. Kate arches her back and screams and cries and buries her hands in his hair and whispering, over and over. Stay. Please.
I am. He pulls away from her. But you can't come back now. You know that. She nods, wiping the tears from her cheeks. He lays her down with him and kisses her temple, down her cheeks, slipping his tongue over her teeth and biting her lips. Sleep. And when you wake up, all of this will be over. Kate curls against him and closes her eyes.
When she wakes up, there is blood on her arms and a gun in her hand.
Fandom: LOST
Summary: You can get out any time you want to.
Pairing: Ben/Kate
Rating: R
Notes: For LadyFest '10, requested here for the wonderful flaky_artist.
Kate has nightmares about Ben. In them, he twists and contorts her body to fit into boxes that grow smaller and smaller. There is nothing in his eyes and she feels no pain. There are no bones in her body, no nerves under her skin. But she can clearly and sharply feel the rough touch of his hands as he forces her body into box after box until, eventually, she can't even see herself anymore. She wakes up with his voice ringing in her ear.
You can get out any time you want.
One dream fades into another sometimes. There are nights when she dreams she's on the beach with Hurley, watching him dig a whole in the sand, watching Ben pull arms and legs from the widening gap in the earth until the beach caves under her and she falls in, fingers dragging her down. And there he is again, his thin and pained face over hers.
You can get out any time you want.
Frustrated, she wakes up and paces, throws a vase at the wall and tugs at her hair. Aaron wakes up, terrified, and she blames Ben for all this. There's no one else to point a finger at. No one to blame for each recurring fit, each time she tries to push the walls of the boxes away, or pries the dead fingers from her skin. The sun sets over the tree line and Ben silently walks away, shovel heavy in his hands, not once looking back as she sinks.
Death follows her everywhere. Carole dies in January. Claire left months ago. She doesn't come to the funeral. And Aaron doesn't understand where all these women came from in the first place. Kate thinks that secretly, he's glad to have her to himself again. She tucks him into bed and sees him the way she used to.
But there's still the nightmares that plague her each time she closes her eyes. Jack stands on the beach, bleeding from his mouth and his gut, falling into the sand. Ben stands far away from them both, eyes empty, hands fulls of weeds and mango peels. Garbage he tosses into the sea. Fish he pulls back in. Something dies, something is born, he says simply, pulling fish after fish onto the sand until the smell of their rotting scales makes her sick and forces her away for a brief second, before pulling her back.
She dreams she's in a cabin, naked. A man in black clothes runs a hand down her spine. Jacob wouldn't have wanted it this way. He walks out the door and all the people they buried follow him into the jungle. Eko, Mars, Ana, Shannon, Boone. Jack ends the line. Ben appears in the doorway, watching them go. He turns his eyes on her, not staring at her bare skin, but through it, beyond it, past the window and the trees to the other side of the world.
There's a storm coming. You'll need this. He puts a pistol in her palm and kisses her wrist. Don't waste it. He moves to leave and she pulls him in.
Don't leave me.
I'm not really here.
Stay. He does and she forces him inside her on the bare floor of the cabin, dust covering her thighs and calves, her cheeks and jaw. Tears make deep ridges in the dirt that he brushes away with a calloused thumb. He comes hard against her, nails digging into her arms, drawing blood she thinks she might see when she wakes up. Kate arches her back and screams and cries and buries her hands in his hair and whispering, over and over. Stay. Please.
I am. He pulls away from her. But you can't come back now. You know that. She nods, wiping the tears from her cheeks. He lays her down with him and kisses her temple, down her cheeks, slipping his tongue over her teeth and biting her lips. Sleep. And when you wake up, all of this will be over. Kate curls against him and closes her eyes.
When she wakes up, there is blood on her arms and a gun in her hand.