“If you don’t like the weather, just wait 5 minutes. Welcome to Amsterdam!”
I miss New York.
The unpretentious familiarity of a lit bodega on a late walk home-
The sudden deluge of sunshine at Dyckman Street when the 1 finally emerges from the underground-
The blurry ring of traffic and rush of glowing fountains at Columbus Circle.
Reading Neruda in an empty corner of Central Park. Watching a whistling and well-dressed crowd empty onto Lincoln Square after an evening performance. Hiding for hours in The Strand after a thunderstorm drenches Union Square.
I miss New York … but I’m starting to think of Amsterdam as “home.” I’m so enamoured with the city. Golden lamplights submerged in navy canals. Tangles of flowers wound ’round painted bikes. Super-saturated sunsets that never begin before 10p.m.
I finally feel like I have real friends. I miss my family but I have a second family here.
I have financial independence and a disposable income.
I’m growing up.
I think so much of the alternate pasts and presents I may have had- if I’d told Nick anything when I was 15 or 18 years old- if I’d stayed in Amsterdam in January or June- if I’d not returned 4 months ago. It’s not that I regret anything. I see how any choice that would have led to the things I so hopelessly seek now- love, permanence, weight- would have also deprived me of so many other experiences or opportunities. I’m 21 years old. I have a university degree and a job that makes me feel confidence and passion every single day. Everything is alright.
Someday I will have a home in someone else … but for now I’m home here in Amsterdam.
The unpretentious familiarity of a lit bodega on a late walk home-
The sudden deluge of sunshine at Dyckman Street when the 1 finally emerges from the underground-
The blurry ring of traffic and rush of glowing fountains at Columbus Circle.
Reading Neruda in an empty corner of Central Park. Watching a whistling and well-dressed crowd empty onto Lincoln Square after an evening performance. Hiding for hours in The Strand after a thunderstorm drenches Union Square.
I miss New York … but I’m starting to think of Amsterdam as “home.” I’m so enamoured with the city. Golden lamplights submerged in navy canals. Tangles of flowers wound ’round painted bikes. Super-saturated sunsets that never begin before 10p.m.
I finally feel like I have real friends. I miss my family but I have a second family here.
I have financial independence and a disposable income.
I’m growing up.
I think so much of the alternate pasts and presents I may have had- if I’d told Nick anything when I was 15 or 18 years old- if I’d stayed in Amsterdam in January or June- if I’d not returned 4 months ago. It’s not that I regret anything. I see how any choice that would have led to the things I so hopelessly seek now- love, permanence, weight- would have also deprived me of so many other experiences or opportunities. I’m 21 years old. I have a university degree and a job that makes me feel confidence and passion every single day. Everything is alright.
Someday I will have a home in someone else … but for now I’m home here in Amsterdam.