you'll have a whole set of "disdain's"
its late, but i'm hurting. so i turn to my lj maybe for pity,
or just people who agree with my ramblings.
people are crap.
plain & simple.
you try so hard to love someone, to call them your brother,
to give them a new family, to support them spiritually, and
in the end the whole time you've been embraced in this
friendship hug, he's got a knife behind his back thats
just craving the taste of your blood.
trust issues were never a problem for me. i forgive and forget, infact i allow most to run over me.
but something has changed. my mind is leary, and my heart/trust is shattered.
i wasn't stabbed by a lover, or an enemy, or anyone one would expect it from.
i was blindsided and stabbed by my brother.
SO TAKE YOUR AMP. TAKE YOUR HEADPHONES. TAKE YOUR MICROPHONE.
TAKE YOUR QUARTER INCH CHORD. TAKE THE MONTHS OF PRACTICE.
TAKE THE FAMILY WE LET YOU IN ON. TAKE IT ALL RUNNING, WITH YOUR
TAIL BETWEEN YOUR LEGS.
all the while you say you feel this is "God's calling"
and yet you can't look me in the eye.
[all i want right now is a big bag of money and a bus ticket back to austin.
i can't take this anymore. i can't take it. i need love and support from
the girls who never let me down. oh God, its all too much.]