The Results of Mestruation
Yes, I am getting more upset. My moods are elevated or exaggerated because of my hormones and severe blood loss that is occuring currently.
Why can't my own boyfriend talk to me? Why can't he open up? Why am I bothering? Why do I care? Why am I thinking like this? I've been a lot more "touchy" and "emotional" and things get to me a lot more, easier. I am still unsure as to the reasoning behind it. I try not to act or say anything about it because I am most likely overreacting, or reading too far into it. And why I am even trying, I guess it's because I love the kid. I can honestly say, I have no interest in being with anyone else, or even thinking of being with someone else. Hes all I want relationship wise. Sure, it needs work, but thats part of what comes with it, i guess. I'm scared, overwhelmed, excited, joyful, and anything inbtween with this boy. But it hurts. It hurts knowing there isn't anything i can do because he wont let me in, he tells me not to worry, Of course I'm going to worry... It's in my nature to do so, plus its the same line as what I'm in school for; to help people. I Just want to kill my curiousity... or rip it out and hang it up to dry. There really is something else missing, and i want to figure that out. I guess what i have, and what i'll get, isn't going to be exactly what i want, but i will deal and get over it. Thats how it has to be. I need to find something to absorb my free time with, since i don't have a car that would enable me to actually go do things whenever i wanted.
I care too much, i'm finding myself in that spot, again. I refuse to have history repeat itself, even if it isn't exactly the same; there are vague similarities. I won't get into this.. I'm tired and have to work in the morning.
I guess i'm lonely and sad, and want to be happy, but idk if i'll achieve pure hapiness.....