that's me trying

[prettyuglybefor]

I'll get a pen and make a list
And give you my analysis
But I can't write this story
With a happy ending
Was I the bullet or the gun
Or just a target drawn upon
A wall that you decided
Wasn't worth defending?

look what I have done
The ruins just go on and on
I've got to let it go now, or it will drag me under
--

I want to believe
But baby, I'm dry
I want to believe
But you testify
And I'll pour the drinks
Like a true believer
Whose God never blinks
--

I can't do it
and as for you--
can you in good conscience even ask me to
Cause what do you care
about the great divide
as long as you come down
on the winner's side

And how am I different?
How am I different?
How am I different?
--

You should look at it realistically
I know you couldn't be in love with me
--

It's so hard not to blame you
it's hard not to put all the blame on you
'cause you knew from the start
there was one little part you would not let through
I'm sure there were even moments when you thought
You might someday finish what you'd begun -
but that could've been anyone

could've been anyone
I lost my place in the sun
well, never mind
it could've been anyone.

So we all make mistakes
it just figures you'd make me the biggest one
I was saving it up
now it's spent and I don't know
what I spent it on
now I find if you try hard enough
you can wear it down 'til it's just about gone -
'til you could've been anyone

you could've been anyone
lost your place in the sun
well, never mind
could've been anyone.

Your pattern is different
than what it implies
the words may be true but
I realize -
it isn't description so much as disguise.
Don't worry, you can learn to live without
you've got a lifetime of that to draw upon
and anyway -

it could've been anyone
you lost your place in the sun
lost your place in the sun
oh, you lost your place in the sun
well, never mind
it could've been anyone
never mind
never mind
(I think that's enough now)