Perfect
Rush sat across from Chloe in the mess. They’d returned from a mission too wired to go to sleep; they were the only ones, though. Scott and Greer, who’d accompanied them, had taken a detour on the planet which left them understandably exhausted. Chloe, on the other hand, was completely enthralled by the rubbings she’d taken of some wall carvings. She was geeking out; Rush was more than happy to indulge her, for he was sincerely interested in her thoughts.
“They’re obviously pictographs displaying natural phenomena. But they’re clearly telling a narrative story as well,” she said excitedly. “This one’s definitely a star…”
But she trailed off as footsteps approached. She turned around to find Eli. She was about to invite him to join their meeting of minds until she noticed the numb look on his face. Her face fell instantly.
“What’s wrong?” she asked; her tone was calm, but appropriately concerned.
Eli sat down beside her; his motions were slow and mechanical. His body language was almost painful for Rush to watch, for it so sharply juxtaposed his usual casually merry demeanor.
“I went to Earth,” he said; his voice was firm and far more placid than Rush anticipated. Chloe’s brow furrowed; she leaned closer slightly - just enough to encourage him to go on.
“Gen. O’Neill got me clearance to see my mom - like actually see her as myself,” there was a flash of happiness in his eyes reflecting that thought, but it only lasted for a microsecond before sorrow took its place. “She’s not doing so good. She’s in the hospital with pneumonia,” he paused, forcing himself to fight back his feelings. “So, that’s it. In less than a week, she’s gone from having HIV to having full-blown AIDS,” at this, he began to speak quicker, belying his anguish. “Just a week was all it took. And she says she’ll be okay this time, but what about next time? I mean, I knew she was sick, but I still think of her as some kind of immortal goddess - but she’s not: she’s a human; she needs me, and I’m not there.”
Rush saw the heartbreak in Chloe’s eyes; panic rose in his gut, because he knew how her father’s death made her feel, and he couldn’t bear the thought of her mind going back to that helplessness, that anger, and that pain. He braced himself for the rampant waters of emotion he expected to flow, but they didn’t. Upon further study of her eyes, it was obvious that they were entirely empty of thoughts of herself and her loss; instead, they were saturated with empathy for her best friend.
She wrapped her arms around Eli, saying nothing, but pulling him tightly to her breast, cradling his head in her arms as though he was her own, precious child. He stared straight ahead at Rush, not really looking at him; his eyes gazed red, threatening tears, but his body visibly slackened in her arms, as though her embrace was the most comforting thing in the universe.
Rush truly felt for Eli, but he was lost in awe of Chloe, because she was doing something extraordinary in that moment: she had the strength to love Eli so perfectly and selflessly, it was practically sacred. Rush felt like he was looking on a holy moment: it was as though she were channeling the Blessed Virgin herself; in that moment, he knew she was the type of living angel who could lure the most tragic sinner out of their self-imposed hell - her love was that pure and that good.
Only the truly strong could love like that. It was the bravest thing a being could do, taking another into their heart so freely, without concern for their own sake. He knew that love very well once upon a time; it was the type of love his wife gave away like candy to those she deemed worthy. And deep in the deepest depths of his being, he longed to be worthy of that perfect love again one day.
“They’re obviously pictographs displaying natural phenomena. But they’re clearly telling a narrative story as well,” she said excitedly. “This one’s definitely a star…”
But she trailed off as footsteps approached. She turned around to find Eli. She was about to invite him to join their meeting of minds until she noticed the numb look on his face. Her face fell instantly.
“What’s wrong?” she asked; her tone was calm, but appropriately concerned.
Eli sat down beside her; his motions were slow and mechanical. His body language was almost painful for Rush to watch, for it so sharply juxtaposed his usual casually merry demeanor.
“I went to Earth,” he said; his voice was firm and far more placid than Rush anticipated. Chloe’s brow furrowed; she leaned closer slightly - just enough to encourage him to go on.
“Gen. O’Neill got me clearance to see my mom - like actually see her as myself,” there was a flash of happiness in his eyes reflecting that thought, but it only lasted for a microsecond before sorrow took its place. “She’s not doing so good. She’s in the hospital with pneumonia,” he paused, forcing himself to fight back his feelings. “So, that’s it. In less than a week, she’s gone from having HIV to having full-blown AIDS,” at this, he began to speak quicker, belying his anguish. “Just a week was all it took. And she says she’ll be okay this time, but what about next time? I mean, I knew she was sick, but I still think of her as some kind of immortal goddess - but she’s not: she’s a human; she needs me, and I’m not there.”
Rush saw the heartbreak in Chloe’s eyes; panic rose in his gut, because he knew how her father’s death made her feel, and he couldn’t bear the thought of her mind going back to that helplessness, that anger, and that pain. He braced himself for the rampant waters of emotion he expected to flow, but they didn’t. Upon further study of her eyes, it was obvious that they were entirely empty of thoughts of herself and her loss; instead, they were saturated with empathy for her best friend.
She wrapped her arms around Eli, saying nothing, but pulling him tightly to her breast, cradling his head in her arms as though he was her own, precious child. He stared straight ahead at Rush, not really looking at him; his eyes gazed red, threatening tears, but his body visibly slackened in her arms, as though her embrace was the most comforting thing in the universe.
Rush truly felt for Eli, but he was lost in awe of Chloe, because she was doing something extraordinary in that moment: she had the strength to love Eli so perfectly and selflessly, it was practically sacred. Rush felt like he was looking on a holy moment: it was as though she were channeling the Blessed Virgin herself; in that moment, he knew she was the type of living angel who could lure the most tragic sinner out of their self-imposed hell - her love was that pure and that good.
Only the truly strong could love like that. It was the bravest thing a being could do, taking another into their heart so freely, without concern for their own sake. He knew that love very well once upon a time; it was the type of love his wife gave away like candy to those she deemed worthy. And deep in the deepest depths of his being, he longed to be worthy of that perfect love again one day.