oh god... i never thought i'd be saying this... "drama, drama, drama"
Ugh... I never want to go back to school again. Ya know why?... the title explains it all... drama, so much drama! =\ I hate it! Why can't my life just be right for one day, ONE DAY. School sucks major bootie... I used to love going to school last year for freshmen year. I really despise sophomore year so far, it just is SO boring and everything's going wrong and I'm not happy anymore... =( Sigh... if only I was as happy and go lucky as I used to be... nothing could get to me...
Today I switched into speech for this semester, and I know I'm going to hate it already. First of all, I hate talking in front of people, and secondly, I hate doing hand motions... AND we have all these really preppy annoying freshmen in that class. GRRR... =\
Yeah, and then I have this really good friend, who happens to be a "friend w/benefits". I really wanted to call it off today cuz he has a girlfriend and I really like him so it's so unfair to me. Although, he said he really cares for me and I'm like his closest friend. We've been messing around for awhile now, and today I said I wanted to stop it, for the new year and everything. I told him, he said it was okay and everything, but he seemed a little dejected, and so was I. I wasn't sure if I was making the right decision... So he called when I got home, and he just asked why and I told him and also that a lot of my close friends were telling me to and all this stuff. And he said, that's fine and I agree with you and everything, but I just wanna know why it matters so much what they say? I said I just like to make people happy. I want everyone to be happy, and yet, I'm never good enough for anyone. Then I just started bawling; I really didn't wanna stop this relationship I had with him cuz it's all that really makes me happy right now when I'm miserable. Sure, it MAKES me miserable sometimes, but I believe it's worth it. Everything in my life was just messed up and I hadn't let anyone know and I just let it all out to him. He was comforting and understanding and he asked if there was anything he could do. I said no, and then he said if maybe it would be better if we just took a break from each other for awhile, and that just made me cry more and I said, No- I need him, no matter if he's just my friend and we're not messing around, I just need him to be there. He said okay, and he even said he'll come to lunch 2 times a week instead of working out, like he was planning on doing everyday @ lunch, so he can be with me. I really really appreciated that since we hardly ever even see each other otherwise. So, we talked a little more, and he said he'd still come over and we could just lay there and talk. It sounded good to me.
Then I'm gonna try to round up the girls for a sleepover on Friday or something cuz I need some quality girl time. We always have SO much fun together. =) ...a glimmer of hope in my measly life...
*sigh* The drama... I sound like Chicken! Lmao!
Today I switched into speech for this semester, and I know I'm going to hate it already. First of all, I hate talking in front of people, and secondly, I hate doing hand motions... AND we have all these really preppy annoying freshmen in that class. GRRR... =\
Yeah, and then I have this really good friend, who happens to be a "friend w/benefits". I really wanted to call it off today cuz he has a girlfriend and I really like him so it's so unfair to me. Although, he said he really cares for me and I'm like his closest friend. We've been messing around for awhile now, and today I said I wanted to stop it, for the new year and everything. I told him, he said it was okay and everything, but he seemed a little dejected, and so was I. I wasn't sure if I was making the right decision... So he called when I got home, and he just asked why and I told him and also that a lot of my close friends were telling me to and all this stuff. And he said, that's fine and I agree with you and everything, but I just wanna know why it matters so much what they say? I said I just like to make people happy. I want everyone to be happy, and yet, I'm never good enough for anyone. Then I just started bawling; I really didn't wanna stop this relationship I had with him cuz it's all that really makes me happy right now when I'm miserable. Sure, it MAKES me miserable sometimes, but I believe it's worth it. Everything in my life was just messed up and I hadn't let anyone know and I just let it all out to him. He was comforting and understanding and he asked if there was anything he could do. I said no, and then he said if maybe it would be better if we just took a break from each other for awhile, and that just made me cry more and I said, No- I need him, no matter if he's just my friend and we're not messing around, I just need him to be there. He said okay, and he even said he'll come to lunch 2 times a week instead of working out, like he was planning on doing everyday @ lunch, so he can be with me. I really really appreciated that since we hardly ever even see each other otherwise. So, we talked a little more, and he said he'd still come over and we could just lay there and talk. It sounded good to me.
Then I'm gonna try to round up the girls for a sleepover on Friday or something cuz I need some quality girl time. We always have SO much fun together. =) ...a glimmer of hope in my measly life...
*sigh* The drama... I sound like Chicken! Lmao!