OOC: Awkwaaaard.
Emailed this to my husband but then it occurred to me it's not a private matter at all and I've talked about my work at the barn here previously so this is nothing new.
Recent developments have left me with a lot to think about regarding whether or not to go back and do barn chores there but it's a harder decision than you'd think. Under the cut because I'm sure not everyone cares what I do. XD
So. This is awkward.
Megan (that is the lady from the barn I worked) asked me if I'd want to come help out one or two days a week with barn chores. Even though she fired me. I turned her down because I don't need that stress. At the end of all that I was literally in tears driving there wondering "well how will I get yelled at today?". To have her let me go gently was like the greatest relief of my life
.
But then Adam (the guy I take weekly lessons from) offered me the same thing since he works for board and had a working student who helped him a few nights a week but she'll soon be moving back to England. I'd only come in Thursday evenings, help him with the chores, and then ride Pepper afterward because he (Pepper) likes me and I can actually get him to work proper dressage exercises he tends to fight with most other people because I have "soft hands" (which for those of you who don't know wtf I'm talking about is to say I don't yank on his mouth so he is happy to go on the bit, lower his head, and do the movements properly when asked). I can get him to leg yield with minor heel contact, whereas I've been told his owner has had to use spurs with him in the past. I can't blame the horse, really, I wouldn't leg yield for someone in spurs either but that's just me. XD
With Adam I think I could explain to him that if he just tells me what to do, I will do it and if it's a set routine we need to follow, I can deal with that. That was the problem with Megan. She would SAY that the routine was the same day to day, but somehow I always screwed it up somehow or she'd act like I didn't know what the hell I was doing. Sometimes she'd completely forget that I knew how to do something. Like once she said "you don't even know how to mix feed!" and I was like.. uh.. I've been doing that for like two months. Or I'd finish really fast and then be like "okay, what now". So yes, I would stand around a lot of the time waiting for direction because suddenly the routine I was familiar with changed completely randomly and yes, I was totally lost.
TL;DR: at the end she was kind of a bitch who I now tolerate because it's her property but my opinion of her has dramatically soured for several reasons. Not the least of which is she insults me to my face in an indirect sort of way that makes me want to yell. ANYWAY.
I feel like if I accept the offer from Adam she'll be all like wtf. Because she's the one who waives the lesson fee for people who work the barn because it's HER barn (even though Pepper isn't her horse, I still have to pay just to ride on the property). So it would be like lying to her, going roundabout and taking Adam's job, and then cheating her out of $20 a week. So I don't know if I should take it. I kind of want to because I get the bonus of always knowing I'll get to ride a horse I CAN HELP TRAIN BECAUSE I HAVE THE SKILL TO TRAIN HIM APPARENTLY if I do. Which is extremely tempting because I love riding Pepper. I've only ridden him twice but it's completely different from riding Gus. I <3 Gus but he's a draft horse. Trying to get something that big to MOVE is really tiring. I'm a small person, technically, and trying to coax this giant animal to move forward takes more contact and more pressure and I just feel more in my element on this Arabian because he's perfect for my height and size. Also he doesn't act like he's going to die in the summer heat. I kind of feel bad pushing Gus because he is absolutely drenched with sweat at the end. Poor old guy. So all the guaranteed Pepper time kind of sweetens the deal. But again. Awkwaaaard.
Other option is to continue to say I can't make it out there reliably because of the same excuse and turn them both down and then just hope I get to ride Pepper once in awhile in lessons. He's beginning to rotate me on different horses now (finally). Eventually I'll get to ride Cutter and Dano too.
Dunno what to do. I kind of don't want the stress of the barn chores again. It was nice before it got to be like a ridiculous responsibility where I had to wonder how I was going to get yelled at each time. Working for Adam is a little different I'm sure, but still sort of intimidating. I definitely get along better than him and I think even if he did yell at me it'd be a whole other experience because we're like a year apart. It's not like getting yelled at by my mother, which was what it was like getting yelled at by Megan. She would wonder why I'd freeze up and look like I was going to cry? That's why.
I have also considered the amount of gas I've been saving since only making one trip out there a week. I've timed it. It's literally two hours round trip if the traffic isn't ideal. Costly at times. But then again I'd also be saving because my lesson price would be halved again, therefore evening it out. AUUUGH. DECISIONS. At least I have a week to ponder it.
Recent developments have left me with a lot to think about regarding whether or not to go back and do barn chores there but it's a harder decision than you'd think. Under the cut because I'm sure not everyone cares what I do. XD
So. This is awkward.
Megan (that is the lady from the barn I worked) asked me if I'd want to come help out one or two days a week with barn chores. Even though she fired me. I turned her down because I don't need that stress. At the end of all that I was literally in tears driving there wondering "well how will I get yelled at today?". To have her let me go gently was like the greatest relief of my life
.
But then Adam (the guy I take weekly lessons from) offered me the same thing since he works for board and had a working student who helped him a few nights a week but she'll soon be moving back to England. I'd only come in Thursday evenings, help him with the chores, and then ride Pepper afterward because he (Pepper) likes me and I can actually get him to work proper dressage exercises he tends to fight with most other people because I have "soft hands" (which for those of you who don't know wtf I'm talking about is to say I don't yank on his mouth so he is happy to go on the bit, lower his head, and do the movements properly when asked). I can get him to leg yield with minor heel contact, whereas I've been told his owner has had to use spurs with him in the past. I can't blame the horse, really, I wouldn't leg yield for someone in spurs either but that's just me. XD
With Adam I think I could explain to him that if he just tells me what to do, I will do it and if it's a set routine we need to follow, I can deal with that. That was the problem with Megan. She would SAY that the routine was the same day to day, but somehow I always screwed it up somehow or she'd act like I didn't know what the hell I was doing. Sometimes she'd completely forget that I knew how to do something. Like once she said "you don't even know how to mix feed!" and I was like.. uh.. I've been doing that for like two months. Or I'd finish really fast and then be like "okay, what now". So yes, I would stand around a lot of the time waiting for direction because suddenly the routine I was familiar with changed completely randomly and yes, I was totally lost.
TL;DR: at the end she was kind of a bitch who I now tolerate because it's her property but my opinion of her has dramatically soured for several reasons. Not the least of which is she insults me to my face in an indirect sort of way that makes me want to yell. ANYWAY.
I feel like if I accept the offer from Adam she'll be all like wtf. Because she's the one who waives the lesson fee for people who work the barn because it's HER barn (even though Pepper isn't her horse, I still have to pay just to ride on the property). So it would be like lying to her, going roundabout and taking Adam's job, and then cheating her out of $20 a week. So I don't know if I should take it. I kind of want to because I get the bonus of always knowing I'll get to ride a horse I CAN HELP TRAIN BECAUSE I HAVE THE SKILL TO TRAIN HIM APPARENTLY if I do. Which is extremely tempting because I love riding Pepper. I've only ridden him twice but it's completely different from riding Gus. I <3 Gus but he's a draft horse. Trying to get something that big to MOVE is really tiring. I'm a small person, technically, and trying to coax this giant animal to move forward takes more contact and more pressure and I just feel more in my element on this Arabian because he's perfect for my height and size. Also he doesn't act like he's going to die in the summer heat. I kind of feel bad pushing Gus because he is absolutely drenched with sweat at the end. Poor old guy. So all the guaranteed Pepper time kind of sweetens the deal. But again. Awkwaaaard.
Other option is to continue to say I can't make it out there reliably because of the same excuse and turn them both down and then just hope I get to ride Pepper once in awhile in lessons. He's beginning to rotate me on different horses now (finally). Eventually I'll get to ride Cutter and Dano too.
Dunno what to do. I kind of don't want the stress of the barn chores again. It was nice before it got to be like a ridiculous responsibility where I had to wonder how I was going to get yelled at each time. Working for Adam is a little different I'm sure, but still sort of intimidating. I definitely get along better than him and I think even if he did yell at me it'd be a whole other experience because we're like a year apart. It's not like getting yelled at by my mother, which was what it was like getting yelled at by Megan. She would wonder why I'd freeze up and look like I was going to cry? That's why.
I have also considered the amount of gas I've been saving since only making one trip out there a week. I've timed it. It's literally two hours round trip if the traffic isn't ideal. Costly at times. But then again I'd also be saving because my lesson price would be halved again, therefore evening it out. AUUUGH. DECISIONS. At least I have a week to ponder it.