Can everything please go wrong at once? Not!
So the guy I like isn't speaking to me for the next month so we can start over. Basically, Paula fucked up. I had been avoiding hanging out with him for over a month because he is four years younger than me. Than I gave in figuring, "Ok, hang out with him once and he can stop texting." However, I kinda feel for him. He made me smile and was an absolute gentleman. Fast Forward story - we hung out every night for a week. Saturday took me on a date. We argued towards the end about age. He dropped me off at my place. I went to a party. He called, came over to it. I kissed another boy and he saw it.
What was I thinking?!?! Incredible guy who wants to hold my hand, tells me how beautiful I am, thinks I am smart, makes me laugh, makes me feel so comfortable and I ruined it normal Paula fashion. Want to know what went though my head with him? "Something has to be wrong with him for liking me so much."
Well I have a month to wait before he will give me a chance to start over. I have 28 days.
Then I figure, I will keep myself busy with school work, lesson plans, and the defensive driving course I have to take within in the next two weeks. So yesterday was semi-okay. I kept busy. Yea! Kept busy, and stayed worried about this boy and ended up making myself physically sick and throwing up. today was better. Minus the fact that out of the 80 something students who said they would show up for a make up exam this morning, 4 showed up. They just don't care, and it makes me feel like as a failure as a teacher.
Then I come home to a computer that keeps freezing while I am trying to do my defensive driving.
To top it alllll off, my cat Lacy I have had for 14 years is sick and needs to be put to sleep very very soon.
I cried alot tonight.
I am overwhelmed with emotions and it sucks.
Why can't I go back to Saturday night and have a fucking brain?!!?
What was I thinking?!?! Incredible guy who wants to hold my hand, tells me how beautiful I am, thinks I am smart, makes me laugh, makes me feel so comfortable and I ruined it normal Paula fashion. Want to know what went though my head with him? "Something has to be wrong with him for liking me so much."
Well I have a month to wait before he will give me a chance to start over. I have 28 days.
Then I figure, I will keep myself busy with school work, lesson plans, and the defensive driving course I have to take within in the next two weeks. So yesterday was semi-okay. I kept busy. Yea! Kept busy, and stayed worried about this boy and ended up making myself physically sick and throwing up. today was better. Minus the fact that out of the 80 something students who said they would show up for a make up exam this morning, 4 showed up. They just don't care, and it makes me feel like as a failure as a teacher.
Then I come home to a computer that keeps freezing while I am trying to do my defensive driving.
To top it alllll off, my cat Lacy I have had for 14 years is sick and needs to be put to sleep very very soon.
I cried alot tonight.
I am overwhelmed with emotions and it sucks.
Why can't I go back to Saturday night and have a fucking brain?!!?