end of the road
Summary: lonely little life, I could kid myself to thinking that I'm fine
Char/Pair: Al/Scorpius
Genre: pre-slash, mild angst/drama
Rating: PG
A/N: albuscorpius100: independence (... even though it's an hour late oTL)
Originally @ | FFnet Mirror | AO3 Mirror
Scorpius Malfoy is in the Potions classroom, ignoring the other students. He is ignoring the chatter of his classmates, the small explosions from occasional cauldrons, and Professor Slughorn walking around the classroom, observing them. He is concentrating on his own potion, not bothering with anybody else. After all, he has always been alone.
When he is finished, ten minutes before the bell is due to ring, he conjures up a glass phial and slips in a sample of his potion. Then he walks to the front of the classroom, places it on Slughorn's desk without a word, and then turns to leave.
No one glances at him. No one calls after him.
**
Scorpius is in the Slytherin boys' dormitory a few evenings later. Although he feels that he's more suited in Ravenclaw, he doesn't mind so much being in the House that his whole family has been in before. His father had been proud, his mother, thrilled. And Scorpius is willing to do anything to make his parents happy.
Scorpius leafs through his Transfiguration textbook, boredly. He's read all this before: he knows the theory for Vanishing objects, has performed it countless times on random useless trinkets of his, and has even stolen a few owls from the Owlery for practice (no one will notice the school owls gone; he can just buy some for the school with his family's fortune later, anyways.) Transfiguration is his favorite subject, although he can't deny that he has quite a hand in Potions and Charms as well.
Scorpius hears the door open and glances up, but only so briefly that whoever has come in wouldn't have noticed him. He recognizes the perpetrator as Albus Potter. He knows of Albus, of course. Talks to him occasionally, as they're Housemates and dormmates. But none too frequently. Scorpius has always been alone.
"Malfoy?" says Albus hesitantly, after a few seconds. So he's seen him. Scorpius doesn't look up again.
"Hello," he says, still transfixed on his Transfiguration textbook.
"S-Sorry," stutters Albus. "I didn't mean to-interrupt you or anything."
"It's all right." Scorpius turns another page in his book.
It's quiet, and then the door closes. Scorpius looks up. Albus is gone.
**
Scorpius likes taking walks out by the lake. There's something soothing about being outside, about smelling the unique scent of water doused with magic, about being around fresh green grass and trees casting shadows along the ground, with the sun high up in the clear blue sky. It's rather good for Quidditch conditions, although Scorpius has never played Quidditch in Hogwarts, seeing as he's never tried out. But Quidditch outside Malfoy Manor is quite brilliant.
He starts another lap around the west side of the lake, heading back toward Hogwarts, and then further back toward the Forbidden Forest (of course, seeing as it's forbidden, Scorpius never goes in.) This is his favorite time of day. During the afternoons, Scorpius always skipped lunch-it's too noisy, too crowded. He likes being by himself. He sneaks some food from the kitchens, as he does on late nights when he's up alone, and then sits on the grass to eat. Though he's already eaten already, so Scorpius busies himself with looking around and admiring the view, occasionally practicing charms on the plants around him.
He's about to point his wand at a nearby flower, blooming up from the ground, when he hears people scuffling around behind him. Quickly stuffing his wand back up his sleeve, Scorpius glances over his shoulder for a fleeting second.
Albus and Lily Potter, and Rose and Hugo Weasley, are walking out of the Forbidden Forest together. They're talking and giggling in hushed undertones, although what they could possibly be giggling about when coming out of the forest is beyond Scorpius.
He doesn't say anything, although the green Prefect's badge on his robes shimmers slightly in the sunlight. It takes them all but ten seconds to notice him. They quiet immediately.
"Malfoy, what are you doing here?" asks Rose Weasley. Scorpius suspects that the cold tone in her voice means that she still has that grudge from a few years ago, when he had beaten her by a landslide in their Charms exam.
Scorpius regards her coolly. "I can say the same for you."
"We were visiting Gra-!" starts Lily Potter, but Hugo Weasley shoves a hand over her mouth before she can say any further. Still, he eyes Scorpius with some trepidation.
Albus seems just as startled as any of them, though less unfriendly. "We were taking a walk," he says, curiously looking Scorpius up and down.
Scorpius brings his chin up. "So was I. You know you're not allowed in the Forbidden Forest, though."
Albus looks down, abashed. "I don't... you're not going to give us detentions, are you?"
Scorpius is tempted to, especially with the way that Rose Weasley is staring at him now, almost saying, I dare you to. But Scorpius doesn't give in. He shakes his head at the four of them.
"No, but I believe that you should go to lunch," he says. "They may notice that some of the Weasley-Potter clan is missing."
"Not likely," sniggers Lily, who's looking at Scorpius with some sort of admiration now.
Scorpius glances at her warily, then nods to them. "Go on, then."
They start trekking up back to the castle. But then Hugo Weasley looks at Scorpius.
"What about you?" he says accusingly. "Shouldn't you be at lunch, too?"
"Stop bothering him," mutters Lily, taking one last look at Scorpius and giggling, before nudging Hugo back forward. Albus, however, glances at Scorpius again. Scorpius thinks for a moment that Albus might say something.
But he doesn't.
**
Scorpius is alone in the boys' dormitory again. He knows in the evenings that nearly every Slytherin boy, regardless of year, likes to go down to the Quidditch Pitch on Saturday after dinner, so Scorpius blissfully has the whole tower to himself. He's immersed in another Transfiguration book, although this time it's one he's borrowed from the library, not one he's read countless of times.
It's somewhat of a surprise that he hears footsteps coming up the staircase. Perhaps it's a girl, wanting to meet some sixth year boyfriend?
But it's not. Albus Potter enters the fifth year boys' dormitory, not looking surprised at all to see Scorpius there.
"Hello," says Scorpius without glancing up; he already had, as always, before Albus could notice.
"Er," says Albus. "Hi Scorpius."
Scorpius waits. He expects that Albus will want to say something.
"Um," says Albus. "I was just-just wondering if you wanted-well you see, we always." He clears his throat. Scorpius chances a peek over the top of his book to see that Albus is bright red. "Um, we play Quidditch, and you-you always seem so alone, and you never come, so I was wondering if-if you wanted to come. Play Quidditch." He clears his throat again.
Scorpius feels like his heart might be racing in his chest, but he ignores it. Instead he says, turning a page in his book, "I'm all right. I don't play Quidditch much, anyways." Which is true-he only plays with his father over the summer, and that doesn't really count.
Albus looks concerned, however. "Are you-Are you sure?" he asks. He sounds like he had wanted Scorpius to say yes. Scorpius had had half a mind to think that Albus had been pressured to ask him.
"I'm sure," Scorpius says firmly, looking up to meet his gaze with Albus's green eyes for the first time.
They're brilliantly bright. Scorpius almost falters.
He returns his attention back to his book. "Besides," he continues. "If I wanted to play, I would have come the first night you had invited me, wouldn't I?"
"Oh-Oh right," says Albus.
Scorpius expects him to leave. But when he glances up again, Albus is still standing there, chewing his bottom lip, looking like he's torn between two decisions.
"Are you going to stand there and stare at me for the rest of the night?" Scorpius asks, unable to keep an amused tone out of his voice.
Albus breaks into a smile for the first time, nearly sending Scorpius into shock. "I can sit, if you want," he says.
Scorpius sets his book down, suddenly annoyed. "Why are you here, Potter?"
"I just-just wanted to keep you company," answers Albus, and his cheeks burn brighter.
"I don't want any company," Scorpius says shortly.
"But you need it," Albus says quietly.
Scorpius picks up his book again. Neither of them say anything after this.
**
Scorpius keeps to himself. Not because he likes it, or because he finds it absolutely necessary. But because he can't do otherwise. Scorpius doesn't know how to do anything else.
Luckily, being open is not something that is heavily involved with magical theory, so Scorpius can continue on with his schoolwork and life in peace. Occasionally he writes to his family, to keep them updated on trivial things that happen in his life. Everything feels trivial to him, anyways. He supposes that it's just what happens when you're fifteen.
He goes to the library every night after dinner, which is considerably early and quick as far as dinners go. It's all part of the routine Scorpius has sculpted for himself since day one. Scorpius knows that the best way to be by himself is to form a schedule that involves no one but himself. This way, no one will bother him. No one will be tempted to bother him.
He finds a corner in the back of the library, the very, very back where no one can disturb him, and sits in an armchair. He opens up his book and props it on his lap, and starts reading from page one.
He gets to page five when he hears a shuffling noise somewhere around him.
At first, he thinks it's nothing. But then someone seems to appear out of thin air-and that someone is Albus Potter. Of course.
Scorpius puts on his best sneer. "What are you doing here?"
Albus blushes. Scorpius has noticed that Albus has been blushing quite often lately, at least, whenever Scorpius looks at him. "Looking for you," he says.
Scorpius is undaunted. "Well, you found me." He turns back to his book. He's had enough of Albus Potter, who has been bothering him for the whole week, Merlin knows why.
"I-Sorry," says Albus. "If you don't want me here, I can go." Like always. Even though he has been following him everywhere, Albus always offers the option for Scorpius to dismiss him.
"Then go," Scorpius snaps, not looking up.
Albus hesitates, like he's about to say something. Scorpius hears him mumble, "Sorry," ever so quietly under his breath. Then footsteps leave the back of the library.
Scorpius sighs and rests his book on his lap. He rubs his temples with his fingers. Bloody Potter, giving him a headache.
**
Scorpius is walking down the seventh floor corridor when he runs into Albus Potter again. This time it seems to be entirely an accident, that Albus hadn't really meant to see him at all; but Scorpius can't help but sneer when Albus almost crashes into him and says, "Sorry."
"What are you doing out this late, Potter?" asks Scorpius-he's the one on prefect duty.
"I-" Albus looks hesitant. Hesitant and unwary. "I was visiting my siblings in Gryffindor tower."
This, Scorpius knows, is a lie. Even though Albus may know the Gryffindor password and the common room happens to be on this floor, Scorpius is Slytherin enough to see that Albus is lying.
"Now that we have your excuses out of the way," he says sharply to Albus, and Albus flinches, "why don't you tell me what you're really doing here?"
Albus looks down at his feet. Scorpius notices that Albus is a few inches shorter than him. "There's this place," he says. "Down the hall, near the tapestry of Barnabas the Barmy. It's called the Room of Requirement."
"Room?" Scorpius furrows his eyebrows. "There's no room down there."
"You have to walk past the wall opposite it three times," explains Albus. "While concentrating on something you really need. Then the room provides it for you. I... I just was practicing my Transfiguration." He blushes.
But Scorpius isn't paying attention to him. There's a room that will provide anything he needs? Whatever he needs? Scorpius is intrigued. Enthralled.
"Thank you, Potter," he says, his mind still on the room. "You should get back to the dormitory now."
Albus nods and goes back to the dungeons. Scorpius continues his prefect rounds, thinking only of the Room of Requirement.
**
The next time that Scorpius is free is after breakfast on Saturday morning, when he's finished all of his schoolwork for the weekend (having gotten a head start on Friday.) Knowing that everyone is either in the common room, in Hogsmeade or practicing Quidditch, he freely walks out of the Slytherin common room, and all the way up the staircases until he's in the seventh floor hall.
He strides over to the tapestry of Barnabas the Barmy. Across from it is an empty patch of wall. Feeling utterly foolish, though somewhat determined, Scorpius starts pacing back and forth in the empty hallway, thinking furiously to himself, I want a place quiet, solitary. A place for my own...
On his third walk, a small door appears. It's simple and silver, with only a single lock on it. Curious, Scorpius pushes it aside and enters the room.
He closes the door and nearly gasps. The room is, though small, snug and just the right size for Scorpius. It's much smaller than his bedroom at the Manor, but the bed-there's a bed there (the room must know his love for sleeping)-is periwinkle instead of emerald, Scorpius's favorite shade of blue. Pale lime drapes, the same shade as the wall, hang over it. All over the far wall is a bookcase lined with books, fiction and nonfiction, texts on Transfigurations and Potions as well. On the bedside table is a small frame, where a photo of his mother and father smiling up at him sits. There's also a single armrest and a footrest, just Scorpius's fit.
"Thank you Albus Potter," Scorpius murmurs with awe, as grabs a book from the bookshelf, collapses into the armchair, and reads.
**
Scorpius starts spending an increasing amount of time in the Room of Requirement-no longer because he wants a place to himself, like originally, but because the room is addicting. Enchanting. He skips meals, sneaking out of the Room occasionally to steal food from the kitchens at odd hours. He no longer sleeps in the boys' dormitory. He skives off lessons-he studies best by himself, anyways-just to sit in the Room, testing out different things it can do, and reading to his heart's content.
It's also quite handy when he wants to avoid Albus Potter in the halls, for whenever Scorpius is back in the outside world, Albus seems to follow him wherever he goes. Not noticeably, of course, but Scorpius has seen Albus duck around walls, dive into classrooms when Scorpius takes a glimpse over his shoulder. Going into the Room not only shakes him off, but prevents Albus Potter from being a further hassle.
Scorpius enters the boys' dormitory one evening to fetch something he had left in his trunk, something that he wants to bring to the Room. It's starting to be his place for storing his treasured things. He sees Albus sitting on his own bed, wiping some piece of parchment clean.
Albus looks up. His eyes narrow when they land on Scorpius. Scorpius is surprised.
"Where have you been?" he demands to Scorpius.
Scorpius raises his eyebrows. "Since when have you been my keeper?" he responds coolly.
"I haven't seen you around in-you're never around! Here! Ever!" says Albus, gesticulating wildly around their dormitory.
Scorpius sneers. "Of course; some of us have lives, you know."
"That's not what I-and you always disappear. You're never in classes!" says Albus. He waves the parchment in his hand. "Where do you go?"
Scorpius peers at the parchment curiously. "What is that?" he asks.
Albus brings the parchment down immediately. "None of your business," he says, hastily shoving it behind his back.
Scorpius looks at him coldly. "Then it's none of your business where I go," he says shortly. "Good day."
He leaves.
**
Scorpius has always preferred being by himself anyways. People are a nuisance, their company is distracting, and Scorpius never gets anything done with others around, anyways. He prefers it to be quiet. He prefers to be alone.
He's never wanted anyone to be there for him.
(Sometimes, he thinks, it does get a little bit lonely-but everyone in this world is lonely, in the end.)
**
In Potions a few days later, it's evident that Albus is still determined to figure out what Scorpius is up to, though Scorpius has no plans to tell him any time soon. Why should he tell Albus, anyways? Albus is no more of a friend than anyone in their year is. Than anyone in the world is.
So even when Albus chooses to partner with Scorpius instead of Rose today, Scorpius doesn't bat an eyelash (though he suspects that Rose looks highly affronted at this, even when Albus mouths at her to assure her that it's okay). They work together on the potion, occasionally talking when they need a particular ingredient or stir or wait patiently. Surprisingly, Albus doesn't mention anything to Scorpius about him being alone again. Scorpius had expected him to.
They have a break after Potions, as always. Scorpius is planning to go to the Room of Requirement at this time, as always. But just as he leaves his seat when the bell rings, he hears Albus say, "Scorpius," behind him.
Scorpius turns around.
Albus has his head cocked to the side, curiously. "Want to play Quidditch with me and the others?" he offers.
"No," Scorpius politely declines.
"What are you up to, then?" asks Albus, walking up to him. They go down the corridor, in step.
Scorpius casts a wary eye to him. "Studying," he replies carefully; this much is true, though. Scorpius had been planning on studying in the Room, anyways.
"In the boys' dormitory. I'll come with you, I have make up some Transfiguration work, anyways." Albus hitches his bag over his shoulder.
Ah, thinks Scorpius. This is what he's doing.
"It's quite all right," he says to Albus. "I prefer studying alone, anyways."
And he walks down the hall and up the staircase, not heading anywhere near the Slytherin dungeons, but up to the seventh floor.
Albus gazes after him.
**
After one particular evening in the Room, which Scorpius no longer refers to as the Room of Requirement but his room-seeing as Albus doesn't seem to be using it anymore, and no one else acts like they know about it-Scorpius sneaks back into the boys' dormitory. He doesn't sleep here all the time, of course, but he sleeps here occasionally. He doesn't want to look too suspicious.
It's on this night when something seems a bit off. Scorpius enters the dormitory, glancing around. It sounds much more quiet, like the sound of someone snoring softly is missing. He casts a gaze to the suspiciously silent bed, the bed in the corner, several feet away from his.
It's Albus Potter's bed. Scorpius doesn't need to remember to know. It's oddly still, like someone is in the bed, waiting for something happen. Waiting for a noise. Waiting for anything.
Scorpius shakes his head and walks back over to his four-poster. It's late; he must be delusional. He falls asleep in his own bed, less soft than the one back in His Room, without another thought on his mind.
**
Scorpius is reading over a fictional text-he likes fiction as much as nonfiction, written by both Muggle and Wizard authors alike. Scorpius has always liked reading, for the sake of reading, for the sake of knowledge, for the sake of having a pastime. It's not useless, it's never boring and it's universal. Magical.
He hears a door open. He thinks it's his imagination. But when he then hears someone walking-in His Room, which no one is supposed to know about-he shoots his head up and stands up immediately.
Albus Potter is standing there.
"Potter," Scorpius spits. Albus looks much like a child caught in wrongdoing, though in this case, this is exactly what he is.
"Scorpius." Albus looks guilty, nervous; yet he lifts his chin up defiantly, like he's trying to assure himself he's doing the right thing.
"What the hell are you doing here?" asks Scorpius, not even bothering to hide the fury in his voice. "How did you get in here?"
"I know why you're here," says Albus. "That's how I got in."
Scorpius stares at him for a few seconds. The silence has never been this loud.
"It's not right," Albus says suddenly, bright red spots appearing on his cheeks as he continues to talk. "I mean. Staying here so much. Shutting yourself away from the world."
"What do you know about it?" Scorpius sneers.
Albus looks up at him. "You're so lonely," he says. "All the time."
"I choose to be lonely," says Scorpius. "This has nothing to do with you. Get out."
"No," says Albus, and he looks more defiant this time. "No, I won't. I don't want you to be lonely, Scorpius, I don't want to see you by yourself all the time-"
"Well boo hoo for you." Scorpius's glare is piercing. "But this is what I want, Potter. And you can't stop me from having what I want."
"But it's not what you need," says Albus. He walks closer to Scorpius. "I don't... I believe that everyone needs someone. A friend." The look on his face is pleading.
"I don't need any friends, nor do I want one," Scorpius snarls. "You have until three to get out of my room, Potter. One-"
"This isn't your room," Albus insists. "I can stay in here as long as I want!"
"-two-"
"And you know what I want? I want you to not be alone! I want you to have a friend!"
"-three-"
"I want to be your friend!" Albus says, almost shouts, and tears are practically sparkling in his eyes and when Scorpius stops his countdown to look at him, he sees that Albus is nothing but sincere.
Albus turns his head to the side, trying to hide his eyes from Scorpius. "I want to be your friend," he says quietly, voice hoarse. "I don't-I can't stand seeing you alone. Even if it's what you want."
"I've been alone for the five years you know me," says Scorpius. "Why now?"
"I don't-" Albus rubs his eyes furiously, still not looking at him. "I don't know. I just do."
He's quiet after this. Scorpius stares at him, not knowing, not sure if he wants to believe Albus's words. He's never been wanted before. Never been seen as something so special from someone outside his family. And this is Albus Potter, telling him that he wants to get along with him. That he wants to be friends. That he wants to let Scorpius in, that he wants Scorpius to let him in.
Scorpius sticks his hand out. "I don't know much about this," he says, carefully. "But I can try."
Albus looks at him, completely surprised. His eyes are red, but dry. "W-What?"
"If you want to-" Scorpius clears his throat. "You can be my friend. If you really want to."
Albus's eyes brighten up, but he still doesn't look entirely sure. "R-Really?"
Scorpius nods. "Yes."
Albus looks at his hand, stuck out, and then takes it. Scorpius feels something electrifying run through him at the touch. Their hands fit together, like they've meant to be a generation ago.
"I'm your friend then," says Albus, smiling. Beaming.
Scorpius nods, and he can't help but smile as well. "A friend," he says.
A friend.
Char/Pair: Al/Scorpius
Genre: pre-slash, mild angst/drama
Rating: PG
A/N: albuscorpius100: independence (... even though it's an hour late oTL)
Originally @ | FFnet Mirror | AO3 Mirror
Scorpius Malfoy is in the Potions classroom, ignoring the other students. He is ignoring the chatter of his classmates, the small explosions from occasional cauldrons, and Professor Slughorn walking around the classroom, observing them. He is concentrating on his own potion, not bothering with anybody else. After all, he has always been alone.
When he is finished, ten minutes before the bell is due to ring, he conjures up a glass phial and slips in a sample of his potion. Then he walks to the front of the classroom, places it on Slughorn's desk without a word, and then turns to leave.
No one glances at him. No one calls after him.
**
Scorpius is in the Slytherin boys' dormitory a few evenings later. Although he feels that he's more suited in Ravenclaw, he doesn't mind so much being in the House that his whole family has been in before. His father had been proud, his mother, thrilled. And Scorpius is willing to do anything to make his parents happy.
Scorpius leafs through his Transfiguration textbook, boredly. He's read all this before: he knows the theory for Vanishing objects, has performed it countless times on random useless trinkets of his, and has even stolen a few owls from the Owlery for practice (no one will notice the school owls gone; he can just buy some for the school with his family's fortune later, anyways.) Transfiguration is his favorite subject, although he can't deny that he has quite a hand in Potions and Charms as well.
Scorpius hears the door open and glances up, but only so briefly that whoever has come in wouldn't have noticed him. He recognizes the perpetrator as Albus Potter. He knows of Albus, of course. Talks to him occasionally, as they're Housemates and dormmates. But none too frequently. Scorpius has always been alone.
"Malfoy?" says Albus hesitantly, after a few seconds. So he's seen him. Scorpius doesn't look up again.
"Hello," he says, still transfixed on his Transfiguration textbook.
"S-Sorry," stutters Albus. "I didn't mean to-interrupt you or anything."
"It's all right." Scorpius turns another page in his book.
It's quiet, and then the door closes. Scorpius looks up. Albus is gone.
**
Scorpius likes taking walks out by the lake. There's something soothing about being outside, about smelling the unique scent of water doused with magic, about being around fresh green grass and trees casting shadows along the ground, with the sun high up in the clear blue sky. It's rather good for Quidditch conditions, although Scorpius has never played Quidditch in Hogwarts, seeing as he's never tried out. But Quidditch outside Malfoy Manor is quite brilliant.
He starts another lap around the west side of the lake, heading back toward Hogwarts, and then further back toward the Forbidden Forest (of course, seeing as it's forbidden, Scorpius never goes in.) This is his favorite time of day. During the afternoons, Scorpius always skipped lunch-it's too noisy, too crowded. He likes being by himself. He sneaks some food from the kitchens, as he does on late nights when he's up alone, and then sits on the grass to eat. Though he's already eaten already, so Scorpius busies himself with looking around and admiring the view, occasionally practicing charms on the plants around him.
He's about to point his wand at a nearby flower, blooming up from the ground, when he hears people scuffling around behind him. Quickly stuffing his wand back up his sleeve, Scorpius glances over his shoulder for a fleeting second.
Albus and Lily Potter, and Rose and Hugo Weasley, are walking out of the Forbidden Forest together. They're talking and giggling in hushed undertones, although what they could possibly be giggling about when coming out of the forest is beyond Scorpius.
He doesn't say anything, although the green Prefect's badge on his robes shimmers slightly in the sunlight. It takes them all but ten seconds to notice him. They quiet immediately.
"Malfoy, what are you doing here?" asks Rose Weasley. Scorpius suspects that the cold tone in her voice means that she still has that grudge from a few years ago, when he had beaten her by a landslide in their Charms exam.
Scorpius regards her coolly. "I can say the same for you."
"We were visiting Gra-!" starts Lily Potter, but Hugo Weasley shoves a hand over her mouth before she can say any further. Still, he eyes Scorpius with some trepidation.
Albus seems just as startled as any of them, though less unfriendly. "We were taking a walk," he says, curiously looking Scorpius up and down.
Scorpius brings his chin up. "So was I. You know you're not allowed in the Forbidden Forest, though."
Albus looks down, abashed. "I don't... you're not going to give us detentions, are you?"
Scorpius is tempted to, especially with the way that Rose Weasley is staring at him now, almost saying, I dare you to. But Scorpius doesn't give in. He shakes his head at the four of them.
"No, but I believe that you should go to lunch," he says. "They may notice that some of the Weasley-Potter clan is missing."
"Not likely," sniggers Lily, who's looking at Scorpius with some sort of admiration now.
Scorpius glances at her warily, then nods to them. "Go on, then."
They start trekking up back to the castle. But then Hugo Weasley looks at Scorpius.
"What about you?" he says accusingly. "Shouldn't you be at lunch, too?"
"Stop bothering him," mutters Lily, taking one last look at Scorpius and giggling, before nudging Hugo back forward. Albus, however, glances at Scorpius again. Scorpius thinks for a moment that Albus might say something.
But he doesn't.
**
Scorpius is alone in the boys' dormitory again. He knows in the evenings that nearly every Slytherin boy, regardless of year, likes to go down to the Quidditch Pitch on Saturday after dinner, so Scorpius blissfully has the whole tower to himself. He's immersed in another Transfiguration book, although this time it's one he's borrowed from the library, not one he's read countless of times.
It's somewhat of a surprise that he hears footsteps coming up the staircase. Perhaps it's a girl, wanting to meet some sixth year boyfriend?
But it's not. Albus Potter enters the fifth year boys' dormitory, not looking surprised at all to see Scorpius there.
"Hello," says Scorpius without glancing up; he already had, as always, before Albus could notice.
"Er," says Albus. "Hi Scorpius."
Scorpius waits. He expects that Albus will want to say something.
"Um," says Albus. "I was just-just wondering if you wanted-well you see, we always." He clears his throat. Scorpius chances a peek over the top of his book to see that Albus is bright red. "Um, we play Quidditch, and you-you always seem so alone, and you never come, so I was wondering if-if you wanted to come. Play Quidditch." He clears his throat again.
Scorpius feels like his heart might be racing in his chest, but he ignores it. Instead he says, turning a page in his book, "I'm all right. I don't play Quidditch much, anyways." Which is true-he only plays with his father over the summer, and that doesn't really count.
Albus looks concerned, however. "Are you-Are you sure?" he asks. He sounds like he had wanted Scorpius to say yes. Scorpius had had half a mind to think that Albus had been pressured to ask him.
"I'm sure," Scorpius says firmly, looking up to meet his gaze with Albus's green eyes for the first time.
They're brilliantly bright. Scorpius almost falters.
He returns his attention back to his book. "Besides," he continues. "If I wanted to play, I would have come the first night you had invited me, wouldn't I?"
"Oh-Oh right," says Albus.
Scorpius expects him to leave. But when he glances up again, Albus is still standing there, chewing his bottom lip, looking like he's torn between two decisions.
"Are you going to stand there and stare at me for the rest of the night?" Scorpius asks, unable to keep an amused tone out of his voice.
Albus breaks into a smile for the first time, nearly sending Scorpius into shock. "I can sit, if you want," he says.
Scorpius sets his book down, suddenly annoyed. "Why are you here, Potter?"
"I just-just wanted to keep you company," answers Albus, and his cheeks burn brighter.
"I don't want any company," Scorpius says shortly.
"But you need it," Albus says quietly.
Scorpius picks up his book again. Neither of them say anything after this.
**
Scorpius keeps to himself. Not because he likes it, or because he finds it absolutely necessary. But because he can't do otherwise. Scorpius doesn't know how to do anything else.
Luckily, being open is not something that is heavily involved with magical theory, so Scorpius can continue on with his schoolwork and life in peace. Occasionally he writes to his family, to keep them updated on trivial things that happen in his life. Everything feels trivial to him, anyways. He supposes that it's just what happens when you're fifteen.
He goes to the library every night after dinner, which is considerably early and quick as far as dinners go. It's all part of the routine Scorpius has sculpted for himself since day one. Scorpius knows that the best way to be by himself is to form a schedule that involves no one but himself. This way, no one will bother him. No one will be tempted to bother him.
He finds a corner in the back of the library, the very, very back where no one can disturb him, and sits in an armchair. He opens up his book and props it on his lap, and starts reading from page one.
He gets to page five when he hears a shuffling noise somewhere around him.
At first, he thinks it's nothing. But then someone seems to appear out of thin air-and that someone is Albus Potter. Of course.
Scorpius puts on his best sneer. "What are you doing here?"
Albus blushes. Scorpius has noticed that Albus has been blushing quite often lately, at least, whenever Scorpius looks at him. "Looking for you," he says.
Scorpius is undaunted. "Well, you found me." He turns back to his book. He's had enough of Albus Potter, who has been bothering him for the whole week, Merlin knows why.
"I-Sorry," says Albus. "If you don't want me here, I can go." Like always. Even though he has been following him everywhere, Albus always offers the option for Scorpius to dismiss him.
"Then go," Scorpius snaps, not looking up.
Albus hesitates, like he's about to say something. Scorpius hears him mumble, "Sorry," ever so quietly under his breath. Then footsteps leave the back of the library.
Scorpius sighs and rests his book on his lap. He rubs his temples with his fingers. Bloody Potter, giving him a headache.
**
Scorpius is walking down the seventh floor corridor when he runs into Albus Potter again. This time it seems to be entirely an accident, that Albus hadn't really meant to see him at all; but Scorpius can't help but sneer when Albus almost crashes into him and says, "Sorry."
"What are you doing out this late, Potter?" asks Scorpius-he's the one on prefect duty.
"I-" Albus looks hesitant. Hesitant and unwary. "I was visiting my siblings in Gryffindor tower."
This, Scorpius knows, is a lie. Even though Albus may know the Gryffindor password and the common room happens to be on this floor, Scorpius is Slytherin enough to see that Albus is lying.
"Now that we have your excuses out of the way," he says sharply to Albus, and Albus flinches, "why don't you tell me what you're really doing here?"
Albus looks down at his feet. Scorpius notices that Albus is a few inches shorter than him. "There's this place," he says. "Down the hall, near the tapestry of Barnabas the Barmy. It's called the Room of Requirement."
"Room?" Scorpius furrows his eyebrows. "There's no room down there."
"You have to walk past the wall opposite it three times," explains Albus. "While concentrating on something you really need. Then the room provides it for you. I... I just was practicing my Transfiguration." He blushes.
But Scorpius isn't paying attention to him. There's a room that will provide anything he needs? Whatever he needs? Scorpius is intrigued. Enthralled.
"Thank you, Potter," he says, his mind still on the room. "You should get back to the dormitory now."
Albus nods and goes back to the dungeons. Scorpius continues his prefect rounds, thinking only of the Room of Requirement.
**
The next time that Scorpius is free is after breakfast on Saturday morning, when he's finished all of his schoolwork for the weekend (having gotten a head start on Friday.) Knowing that everyone is either in the common room, in Hogsmeade or practicing Quidditch, he freely walks out of the Slytherin common room, and all the way up the staircases until he's in the seventh floor hall.
He strides over to the tapestry of Barnabas the Barmy. Across from it is an empty patch of wall. Feeling utterly foolish, though somewhat determined, Scorpius starts pacing back and forth in the empty hallway, thinking furiously to himself, I want a place quiet, solitary. A place for my own...
On his third walk, a small door appears. It's simple and silver, with only a single lock on it. Curious, Scorpius pushes it aside and enters the room.
He closes the door and nearly gasps. The room is, though small, snug and just the right size for Scorpius. It's much smaller than his bedroom at the Manor, but the bed-there's a bed there (the room must know his love for sleeping)-is periwinkle instead of emerald, Scorpius's favorite shade of blue. Pale lime drapes, the same shade as the wall, hang over it. All over the far wall is a bookcase lined with books, fiction and nonfiction, texts on Transfigurations and Potions as well. On the bedside table is a small frame, where a photo of his mother and father smiling up at him sits. There's also a single armrest and a footrest, just Scorpius's fit.
"Thank you Albus Potter," Scorpius murmurs with awe, as grabs a book from the bookshelf, collapses into the armchair, and reads.
**
Scorpius starts spending an increasing amount of time in the Room of Requirement-no longer because he wants a place to himself, like originally, but because the room is addicting. Enchanting. He skips meals, sneaking out of the Room occasionally to steal food from the kitchens at odd hours. He no longer sleeps in the boys' dormitory. He skives off lessons-he studies best by himself, anyways-just to sit in the Room, testing out different things it can do, and reading to his heart's content.
It's also quite handy when he wants to avoid Albus Potter in the halls, for whenever Scorpius is back in the outside world, Albus seems to follow him wherever he goes. Not noticeably, of course, but Scorpius has seen Albus duck around walls, dive into classrooms when Scorpius takes a glimpse over his shoulder. Going into the Room not only shakes him off, but prevents Albus Potter from being a further hassle.
Scorpius enters the boys' dormitory one evening to fetch something he had left in his trunk, something that he wants to bring to the Room. It's starting to be his place for storing his treasured things. He sees Albus sitting on his own bed, wiping some piece of parchment clean.
Albus looks up. His eyes narrow when they land on Scorpius. Scorpius is surprised.
"Where have you been?" he demands to Scorpius.
Scorpius raises his eyebrows. "Since when have you been my keeper?" he responds coolly.
"I haven't seen you around in-you're never around! Here! Ever!" says Albus, gesticulating wildly around their dormitory.
Scorpius sneers. "Of course; some of us have lives, you know."
"That's not what I-and you always disappear. You're never in classes!" says Albus. He waves the parchment in his hand. "Where do you go?"
Scorpius peers at the parchment curiously. "What is that?" he asks.
Albus brings the parchment down immediately. "None of your business," he says, hastily shoving it behind his back.
Scorpius looks at him coldly. "Then it's none of your business where I go," he says shortly. "Good day."
He leaves.
**
Scorpius has always preferred being by himself anyways. People are a nuisance, their company is distracting, and Scorpius never gets anything done with others around, anyways. He prefers it to be quiet. He prefers to be alone.
He's never wanted anyone to be there for him.
(Sometimes, he thinks, it does get a little bit lonely-but everyone in this world is lonely, in the end.)
**
In Potions a few days later, it's evident that Albus is still determined to figure out what Scorpius is up to, though Scorpius has no plans to tell him any time soon. Why should he tell Albus, anyways? Albus is no more of a friend than anyone in their year is. Than anyone in the world is.
So even when Albus chooses to partner with Scorpius instead of Rose today, Scorpius doesn't bat an eyelash (though he suspects that Rose looks highly affronted at this, even when Albus mouths at her to assure her that it's okay). They work together on the potion, occasionally talking when they need a particular ingredient or stir or wait patiently. Surprisingly, Albus doesn't mention anything to Scorpius about him being alone again. Scorpius had expected him to.
They have a break after Potions, as always. Scorpius is planning to go to the Room of Requirement at this time, as always. But just as he leaves his seat when the bell rings, he hears Albus say, "Scorpius," behind him.
Scorpius turns around.
Albus has his head cocked to the side, curiously. "Want to play Quidditch with me and the others?" he offers.
"No," Scorpius politely declines.
"What are you up to, then?" asks Albus, walking up to him. They go down the corridor, in step.
Scorpius casts a wary eye to him. "Studying," he replies carefully; this much is true, though. Scorpius had been planning on studying in the Room, anyways.
"In the boys' dormitory. I'll come with you, I have make up some Transfiguration work, anyways." Albus hitches his bag over his shoulder.
Ah, thinks Scorpius. This is what he's doing.
"It's quite all right," he says to Albus. "I prefer studying alone, anyways."
And he walks down the hall and up the staircase, not heading anywhere near the Slytherin dungeons, but up to the seventh floor.
Albus gazes after him.
**
After one particular evening in the Room, which Scorpius no longer refers to as the Room of Requirement but his room-seeing as Albus doesn't seem to be using it anymore, and no one else acts like they know about it-Scorpius sneaks back into the boys' dormitory. He doesn't sleep here all the time, of course, but he sleeps here occasionally. He doesn't want to look too suspicious.
It's on this night when something seems a bit off. Scorpius enters the dormitory, glancing around. It sounds much more quiet, like the sound of someone snoring softly is missing. He casts a gaze to the suspiciously silent bed, the bed in the corner, several feet away from his.
It's Albus Potter's bed. Scorpius doesn't need to remember to know. It's oddly still, like someone is in the bed, waiting for something happen. Waiting for a noise. Waiting for anything.
Scorpius shakes his head and walks back over to his four-poster. It's late; he must be delusional. He falls asleep in his own bed, less soft than the one back in His Room, without another thought on his mind.
**
Scorpius is reading over a fictional text-he likes fiction as much as nonfiction, written by both Muggle and Wizard authors alike. Scorpius has always liked reading, for the sake of reading, for the sake of knowledge, for the sake of having a pastime. It's not useless, it's never boring and it's universal. Magical.
He hears a door open. He thinks it's his imagination. But when he then hears someone walking-in His Room, which no one is supposed to know about-he shoots his head up and stands up immediately.
Albus Potter is standing there.
"Potter," Scorpius spits. Albus looks much like a child caught in wrongdoing, though in this case, this is exactly what he is.
"Scorpius." Albus looks guilty, nervous; yet he lifts his chin up defiantly, like he's trying to assure himself he's doing the right thing.
"What the hell are you doing here?" asks Scorpius, not even bothering to hide the fury in his voice. "How did you get in here?"
"I know why you're here," says Albus. "That's how I got in."
Scorpius stares at him for a few seconds. The silence has never been this loud.
"It's not right," Albus says suddenly, bright red spots appearing on his cheeks as he continues to talk. "I mean. Staying here so much. Shutting yourself away from the world."
"What do you know about it?" Scorpius sneers.
Albus looks up at him. "You're so lonely," he says. "All the time."
"I choose to be lonely," says Scorpius. "This has nothing to do with you. Get out."
"No," says Albus, and he looks more defiant this time. "No, I won't. I don't want you to be lonely, Scorpius, I don't want to see you by yourself all the time-"
"Well boo hoo for you." Scorpius's glare is piercing. "But this is what I want, Potter. And you can't stop me from having what I want."
"But it's not what you need," says Albus. He walks closer to Scorpius. "I don't... I believe that everyone needs someone. A friend." The look on his face is pleading.
"I don't need any friends, nor do I want one," Scorpius snarls. "You have until three to get out of my room, Potter. One-"
"This isn't your room," Albus insists. "I can stay in here as long as I want!"
"-two-"
"And you know what I want? I want you to not be alone! I want you to have a friend!"
"-three-"
"I want to be your friend!" Albus says, almost shouts, and tears are practically sparkling in his eyes and when Scorpius stops his countdown to look at him, he sees that Albus is nothing but sincere.
Albus turns his head to the side, trying to hide his eyes from Scorpius. "I want to be your friend," he says quietly, voice hoarse. "I don't-I can't stand seeing you alone. Even if it's what you want."
"I've been alone for the five years you know me," says Scorpius. "Why now?"
"I don't-" Albus rubs his eyes furiously, still not looking at him. "I don't know. I just do."
He's quiet after this. Scorpius stares at him, not knowing, not sure if he wants to believe Albus's words. He's never been wanted before. Never been seen as something so special from someone outside his family. And this is Albus Potter, telling him that he wants to get along with him. That he wants to be friends. That he wants to let Scorpius in, that he wants Scorpius to let him in.
Scorpius sticks his hand out. "I don't know much about this," he says, carefully. "But I can try."
Albus looks at him, completely surprised. His eyes are red, but dry. "W-What?"
"If you want to-" Scorpius clears his throat. "You can be my friend. If you really want to."
Albus's eyes brighten up, but he still doesn't look entirely sure. "R-Really?"
Scorpius nods. "Yes."
Albus looks at his hand, stuck out, and then takes it. Scorpius feels something electrifying run through him at the touch. Their hands fit together, like they've meant to be a generation ago.
"I'm your friend then," says Albus, smiling. Beaming.
Scorpius nods, and he can't help but smile as well. "A friend," he says.
A friend.