Summary: Heechul's always pulled himself together. Yesung comes into his room at nights, begging for love.
Char/Pair: Heechul/Yesung
Genre: romance/slash, angst, slight fluff
Rating: G
A/N: So short. .___. For
kpopvalentines , for
zenfu . Prompt was "3. Super Junior, Heechul/Yehsung, something to hold on to, any" Enjoy♥
And Heechul isn't too surprised when he hears a noise at three in the morning and tilts his head up to see a figure wandering over to him. He realizes it's Yesung, in the light of the shadows, and as Yesung comes closer and closer, a guilty knot tightens in his stomach.
"What are you doing here?" he hisses, because of course it's not like he's supposed to be here. They're all supposed to be asleep, every single one of them - and yet it's just the two of them, just him and Yesung.
"Hyung," Yesung murmurs, and Heechul can't help but feel the knot tighten even more when he hears the other man's voice. Yesung moves closer to him, arms reaching out toward him. "Hyung." He invites himself onto the bed, moving toward Heechul.
"Yesung, what - "
"Can I stay with you? Just tonight," Yesung says, like they haven't done this before, like they've never done this before. Heechul sighs, but it's not an exasperated sigh - it's a sigh that wants to give up hope, to give up love.
"Sure," he whispers in the dark, and Yesung's body rubs up closer to him at this response.
--
In the morning, Yesung is gone and Heechul doesn't waste an extra second thinking about where he could have left to. He gets up out of his bed between the white bedsheets and starts out his room, ruffling his hair in a daze.
He doesn't forget about Yesung, but there are always other things occupying his mind - like what he's going to do on Youngstreet today, if he should update his Twitter today (which he should), if he should go on the internet and read more bogus stories about him and Hankyung. And it's not like he's opposed to the fact of the two of them together, or any men together at all - but he likes to chuckle and think about all the little things that the fans don't know about them.
He's Kim Heechul, after all. A man should know how to act.
At lunch he climbs into the seat next to Yesung, perhaps on instinct. Yesung's poking at his food like he always does, in the way Yesung always is. Heechul feels annoyed, but a little part of him thinks it's endearing, the way Yesung can be so fragile and yet seem so strong.
"You should probably eat that," he tells Yesung, pointing to his plate. Yesung glances up and looks at him - the knot appears in his stomach again.
"I'm not really hungry," Yesung says quietly.
"Oh," says Heechul and it's the end of that.
--
Heechul realizes, he realizes that since Hankyung's left, it means that Yesung now only has two hyungs, him and Jungsoo. And it's not like Jungsoo is around too much that he can stay with them - all of them have their busy schedules, anyways. But more often than not, Heechul finds himself alone with Yesung more than, perhaps, he should. He wonders what it means.
Two weeks and five days later, Yesung comes into his room again. It's not three in the morning, and all of them are still well awake - Hyukjae might still be at a schedule. Heechul's in his room, typing away at his laptop when Yesung wanders in, with fraying hair and dull eyes.
"Hyung," he says. "Can I stay with you?" The words are so familiar coming out of his lips - but so strange, in the light.
"Yesung, why do you want to stay with me so much?" Heechul asks. "I mean, it's not like - it's not like we actually do anything, and - and why - why don't you go to someone else?"
"Because," Yesung tells him. "Because." He comes over to Heechul on his bed and presses his body against his, warmth against cold, and curls up on his mattress. He wraps an arm around Heechul's waist, underneath his elbows, and closes eyes, breathing on Heechul's long white shirt.
Heechul tells himself that he's not paying too much attention, but he does know that he hears Yesung murmur, "Because I love you," under his breath.
--
Yesung tells him that he's scared, he's always been scared, and that he wants nothing but for them to stay together. He tells him he's scared for Super Junior, scared for himself, scared for Heechul. He's scared of where they're going to go, and what they're going to do, and if they're going to end and when they do what is he going to do without them. He tells Heechul that he can't, he doesn't know what to do and it feels like he's falling, falling with no one to catch him at the bottom because that's how things end.
Heechul whispers to him, Then just hold onto me, and you'll be safe.
Heechul realizes that he's stronger than he's thought, he's always been strong. Because the way the others handle everything, the way they're all quiet and seem to care far too much - Heechul realizes that he just cares far too little. He wonders if this is a bad thing, and he wonders if he should care more. But he cares about Yesung, and this seems to be enough.
Maybe one day, one day he will be broken. But for now, he's Yesung's to hold.