(no subject)

[prettypunkpixie]

So I had a pretty eventful Saturday. Had plans with the boy and had called him in the AM to finalize them. Called multiple times throughout the day and left multiple messages with no return calls and started to worry a little bit more with each unreturned call. Around 230 I decided I would just go to his house and just check and make sure nothing had happened. He likes to work outside a lot and rides the motorcycle, and no one lives around him so I got nervous and decided to go to his house and make sure things were alright. Got to his house and his car wasn't there....okay then, he had to be out somewhere. I knew he emailed his friend on a regular basis and thought maybe he was helping him out because he sometimes does on the weekends. Rich always leaves his computer on so I didn't think it would be out of line for me to check and see if there was an email from his friend saying to come over or something. I didn't even make it that far to look because as soon as I turned on the monitor screen there was en email open already. Funny because it was from a girl. And not just any girl....a girl that Rich had been interested in and talking to online and the phone and all of the awful things that I never imagined him doing. Yes. So I freaked the fuck out and drove back home again, hoping that maybe he had made it to my house already from wherever he was. On my way back home he called me and said he was on his way. I figured we'd get to my house around the same time so it worked out fine. At that point he had listened to the progression of my messages....the first being a normal "call me back" message to the last being "where the hell are you i am going to start calling local hospitals soon to make sure you weren't in an accident". So he felt like crap about it and said he was sorry.....he was helping a friend with his transmission and blah blah blah. So I ask him about this chick. This chick that he looked up on CRAIGSLIST. During the 2 weeks that we were broken up that he was still talking to. He fully admited to everything and tried to justify it in every possible way....but I'm sorry, I can't justify it. He gave me the whole "I'm not sure I'm ready to be with you forever" speech. Which was the reason we had broken up initially. The thing that kills me the most is why the FUCK would he call me and decide he wants to be with me and is ready for the changes that we both needed to make when the whole time there was someone else. Why couldn't we have just stayed broken up and not caused me that much more fucking heartache. I honestly cannot believe that this is how my relationship ended. So in summary, I have no boyfriend. Again. And am picking my shit up on Wednesday...asked him nicely to put all my things together and to not be home when I picked them up. The worst part about all of Saturday is that I was worried fucking sick about him, and if I didn't care so much to go to his house I never even would have known about this other girl. How ironic.

Thank god (or whoever is out there) that I have the most amazing friends on the planet. I certianly wouldn't have made it through this weekend without you. You know who you all are, thank you.