What does this mean? Eye Opener

[prettypony101]

Today I read what  One of my friends that i though and still hope will be there when were old and gray ,  I read what she really thinks of me it was a huge eye opener because i have never HEARD these EMOTIONS come out of her MOUTH but as i read the page i felt hurt i never REALIZED that she BLAMES me for this party i invited her to never realized that she would'nt have fun, I invited her because she is always busy with school, work, other people I feels like she is so busy that im not really in her life and i wanted to change that ( it feels like she has a better time with my family then me) so i invite her to a pool party think she'd have fun theres people to talk to things to eat and drink and a pool to swim in all thing i think she likes]] But it feels like she came into the party with a closed mind not ready to open up for new experiences new people diffrent from herself. I also think that there is alot she doesn't get about me I am many things, i'm living on my own, I have a disablity that is call Asperger's which is opening lots of doors to me, with this i have learned that i am mature for my age it weird that im am told that but i take it as a compliment but life becomes dull if you act to old, Im learning the choices i make now in life will help me become what i want to be.

Side Note 
My past is not my future 
I will never be what i was 
My bad choices in the past has made a diffrence 
The outcome i want will come because i understand where im going