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I feel so... drained. I have no energy.... I think I need sugar. I've been crying my freakin' eyes out for the past like hour and a half. A friend of mine and me had a big fight over the net... Worst way to fight, cause you can't YELL!!! and your point never gets across to them. He just kept yelling and yelling and yelling [all caps] and accusing me of saying that he was exactly like my x [aka "Dustin". look at the entry befor the one named tweezer bee and you'll know who I'm talking about...], when I never said that. He also accused me of saying the he was "always stuck up and always rude", when I never said that. He asked me, after accusing me of saying he was "exactly" like "Dustin", to tell me how he and "Dustin" were different, personallity wise. And when I didn't immediatly reply to that, since I was in the middle of writing a freakin' poem [and he knew it.], he was all like "What, can't answer me?? We've been friends for like 2 years and you can't even tell us apart?? Pathedic." OooOoooOoooo, it PISSES me OFF when people do that, all high and mighty and shit. It just makes me wanna kill the person who's like that, and he was no exception. He also said that I was "trampling" all over his feelings, and since he liked me, it "hurt really bad". Well, FUCK. I'm sooo SORRY. I'm sooooo sorry that I'M trampling all over YOUR feelings. It's not like YOU didn't do it to ME! He also tried to tell me that I didn't know what it was like to wanna die, or what it was like feeling worthless... Oh, I made sure to set him straight on that. I told him to NEVER again try to tell me that I didn't know what it was like to feel worthless or like you just wanna die, because I've known those feelings so many more times, and so much more intensly, than he EVER had. I told him that he was acting immature and all this stuff, and all he did was deny deny deny deny de-freakin'-ny... and I swear... it took every ounce of my limited self-control to not just walk over to his house [he lives about 7 mins away from me] and beat the living SHIT outta him. I don't know if I actually could have beat him that bad, but I would have done my fucking best, and anger can make anyone, even a 5'3 person [when he's like 5'10], scary. He's a grade younger than me, but still. *Sighs* It's all good though, cause he appologised after I did, and he called me a little while ago and told me how sorry he was for blowing up on me. He had told me on the net during our argument that I was acting like his dad, which is baaaad, since his dad like hits him. He told me, on the phone, that he was just really stressed about his dad and that he hadn't meant to blow up on me. So it's all good now. ^.^
You know, for the past few nights, I've been having really weird dreams. They've all been extremely clear, but I can't figure out what they mean. >.< I would type them out, but quite frankly, I don't feel like it.... I'm wiped out. I think I'ma finish writing this poem up, then go to sleeeeeep. Nighty-night everyone... >.< zZzZz
<3 Jade