[fic] The Things We Can't Control - Chapter 55 ~Unexpected Outcomes~
Title: The Things We Can't Control
Author:
prettyorianna
Pairing: Akame. Others to be added later.
Rating: NC-17.
Genre: crime drama au
Beta by: my cat Gemma. okay, seriously, nobody
Disclaimer: I don't own KAT-TUN, any of its members, any other JE people. I write this for fun and for other fans of these fine folks. But don't steal my
plots, mmkay? I put a great deal of time into them except for when I'm randomly spastically spitting words onto a page. But I value those too...
Summary: Two criminals with vastly different styles meet by chance one day. They immediately clash but is that all they'll ever be? How much is fate and how much choice? And how will their meeting change the world around them?
Author's Note: I have been given the Marika Seal o' Approval. The MSoA is the highest honor I can get LOL! But, silliness aside, I think you will like this chapter. I hope you will, anyway. I had the barest snippet of the middle of this written for quite some time and I have been working for a long, long time to get from where the story was to the point I could use the snippet. And we're finally there. Though I do apologize; there's not really a whole lot here about Kame trying to kill Yasu before. But you'll get that information, sooner or later. It just didn't fit right now.
BANNER BY DESHISORABA!! THE MOST AWESOME BANNER EVER AND I WILL FIGHT ANYONE WHO DISAGREES!
Warning: This gets graphic often occasionally, containing at the very least foul language, character death, nefarious crimes, rape, etc etc.
The Master Posts:
On my journal - The Things We Can't Control Master Post
On the akame_ Community - The Things We Can't Control Master Post
On the akame_fanfics Community - The Things We Can't Control Master Post
On the je_kamenashi Community - The Things We Can't Control Master Post
On the kattun_fanfics Community - The Things We Can't Control Master Post
On the jin_fics Community - The Things We Can't Control Master Post
Chapter 55 ~Unexpected Outcomes~
Jin at his back questioning him made them look weak. God, why hadn’t he thought to sit the man down and explain that shit? He knew Jin was capable but the man wasn’t used to taking orders. He never had to.
Well, worry about it later. Jin seemed to have gotten the message and they really did need to be in and back out again before Yasu could get too many reinforcements.
“Well, then, if you’re not here to insult me, why did you come? Another one of your little rescues?” Yasu asked him, tilting his head slightly to the side.
Kame’s immediate answer, “We both have a problem.”
“I imagine we both have many problems but I can’t see why my problems are Kizuna’s business. We do have an agreement between us, do we not?” Yasu raised an eyebrow as he said this and his voice was very pointed.
“Hm. Let me rephrase. Either I have a problem and you soon will, or I have two problems and you’re one of them.” Though he was pretty sure it was the former and not the latter. Still… he wanted to get in and out as quickly as possible. Just to be sure. “I didn’t think this problem should be discussed on an unsecured line. Really, when you think about it, I’m doing you a favor…”
Yasu laughed. God, he’d forgotten how much he hated that laugh. “And what will it cost me?”
“Information.”
“Not money? Must be an expensive favor to cost so much.”
This time Kame was the one to laugh. “Ah, but the favor is also in the form of information. Even exchange, no change in our terms. Acceptable?”
“I suppose so…”
It was always risky to be the one to lay your cards out first but there wasn’t much to be done for it. “Someone is systematically weakening gang support systems all over the city in such a way that the gangs themselves are held to be guilty. Almost every gang in the city has had this happen.” Eyes narrowing, Kame said, “Yours has not yet, I believe?”
“Do you really this I would I tell you if it had?”
“Oh, you would tell me if it had. You wouldn’t tell me if it hadn’t. But I know it hasn’t happened. I know a great deal, in fact.”
Yasu laughed again. “Kizuna does always seem a step ahead of everyone. I’d kill for your sources.” Kame was pretty sure the man was being literal. “But if you know I haven’t been hit, how do you know I’m not the one doing it? Because you wouldn’t show up at my doorstep with only two dogs if you believed for a single moment that I was behind it. Though…” and Yasu trailed off for a moment with a pout, “… I’m positively insulted you don’t think we did it. A man works hard, builds a reputation, and… Ah, I’m wounded in my heart, really…”
“Oh, you’d do it if you could. But you haven’t got the resources to hold that much ground so you have nothing to gain from sabotaging some of the gangs that have been hit.”
Yasu merely nodded at this.
Kame wasn’t encouraged. He’d hoped… well, he’d wondered, anyway, if there was a reason Janne Da Arc’s territory hadn’t been hit yet, one that Yasu knew of. Blackmail, bribe, whatever, but something linked to the person or persons behind the whole mess. But Yasu was merely playing the delay game, trying to get his men time to arrive to change the odds. He knew nothing.
“I think you have nothing for me to match this, do you? No information for me at all,” Kame finally said. “I guess cash will have to do.”
Yasu glared for a moment but finally said, “You know, if you’d just accept drugs, you’d get much more money than the cash I can give you. You think your morals make you better than the rest of us but you’re criminals. You kill just the same as we do. Your methods and motives are different but those people are just as dead.”
The words unsettled Kame but he did his best to keep it from showing. “No drugs. Cash only.”
“Oh, fine! I can throw you a couple hundred for that, I suppose.”
“I won’t accept less than a grand for this information and you know I’m being generous. You can warn your support.”
“Hmm, your new dog must be better than he looks,” and Yasu gestured in Jin’s direction. “You’ve gotten a whole lot bolder than I ever remember you being and I know she isn’t new. Her I remember.”
Okay, that was the sign to leave. They’d get their grand and go. Yasu was stalling.
“Money, now. I’m not sticking around for your dogs to get here, Yasu.”
Yasu rolled his eyes but he got the money from a heavy-duty wall safe he hadn’t even bothered to try to hide. “You really have gotten smarter, Kame-chan,” he mumbled as he handed Kame a thousand dollars in what he knew would be nonsequential twenties because, well, Yasu wasn’t stupid. There wasn’t time to count it right there but it felt like the right size and if it came from the safe, Kame knew it would be real.
“If you find anything out, you’ve got my number. If you want any more information, well, as I said, bring cash.”
And they got the hell out of there.
And Kame breathed a sigh of relief.
Once they were back at the church, Koki excused himself to check on the street kids. Yurina looked a bit shaken from seeing Yasu again after so many years. She’d be fine, he was sure, or he wouldn’t have asked her to come. Still, he should check in on her later.
But first, he had to talk to Jin. Had to explain how things worked, like he should have done before they went.
“Jin, would you come with me please?” Kame asked, a hand on Jin’s arm as he closed the car door.
Jin didn’t say anything but he followed Kame back to the office. Not wanting anyone else to overhear (he wasn’t trying to embarrass Jin; it was his fault as much as it was Jin’s), he closed the door.
But now that they were alone, Jin looked kind of hurt. “You snapped at me, back there! I don’t understand what I did wrong. I really, really don’t!”
“I would have explained right then if I could have but I couldn’t. Jin, I…” Kame hadn’t expected him to be quite so confrontational, though he probably shouldn’t have been surprised. Not with the amount of time they spent arguing.
“Well, explain it to me now. You keep talking to me about respect but that wasn’t respect. And you talk about not making us do anything but ‘shut up’ is very definitely something!” Jin was getting louder.
“If you’d just let me I’ll explain, damn it!” Kame was doing his best not to raise his voice. Shouting wasn’t going to fix this. Jin could shout just as loudly and was just as stubborn.
“Fine. Fine. You talk then. I’ll ‘shut up’ like a good dog.”
“That’s low.”
Jin just glared.
“Look, I didn’t realize you wouldn’t know. I would have told you if I thought… I know you didn’t understand about the danger you put us in. I should have…”
“Whu-what? Danger?” That got Jin’s attention. “What… I don’t understand?”
“When you back me like that and then you question me in front of our enemies, it makes me look weak. If I look weak, we all look weak. If we look weak, they will treat us that way. Trust me when I say we don’t want that!”
“Well, how was I supposed to know this?” Jin shrieked at him. “Why didn’t you just tell me?”
“Baka, I couldn’t! Not right there in front of Yasu! Haven’t you been listening? It would have made us look weak!”
“Yeah, and while we’re on the subject of idiocy, why the hell were you antagonizing him like that?”
Damn it, this is not what he wanted to be doing with Jin. He didn’t want to be fighting again. He’d rather be… he wanted…
Derail that.
“I know him. I’ve dealt with him before. Trust me, that was the best way to handle him. And it worked. I got the information out of him I otherwise wouldn’t have been able to get. Not to mention the money…”
“Oh, it’s about the money, is it? A shakedown? Well, why did you say that? I know how to do that! You could have just sent me and then you wouldn’t have to worry about looking weak, would you!” Jin’s voice was incredibly sarcastic, probably worse than he’d ever heard from Jin before.
“It wasn’t about the money, damn it! Kizuna and Janne Da Arc have a very tense-”
A snort. “Yeah, I’ll say.”
Glaring, “-very tense but workable arrangement. We can’t give them something for nothing. It shakes the whole thing apart. I had to demand something and he had nothing to tell me.”
Seriously, he didn’t want to be fighting with Jin. He hadn’t meant to get to this point. He wanted to explain how things worked, apologize, maybe… maybe a kiss…
No. Derail that. Seriously, between Jin’s stubbornness and the stubbornness of his own mind which kept hounding him for things it wasn’t the right time to be worrying about in the first place, this was going badly.
“Why the fuck are we having this conversation now, then? Why didn’t we have this talk before we went? Then I wouldn’t have embarrassed you so much…”
“That’s not-“
“Then what?”
But Kame had enough trying to apologize. He had enough trying to explain when Jin just wasn’t listening. He… he didn’t want to be fighting, damn it!
“Why do you always have to argue? You make everything so much harder than it has to be!” Kame shouted at Jin. “Just… just shut up and kiss me, you… Bakanishi!”
“Who are you calling Ba…” But then Jin’s entire attitude changed as Kame’s words started to sink in. “Oh.” And then his eyes went wide as the words fully sank in. “Oh!”
All Kame could do was shake his head in disbelief. The man really was dense sometimes. At least he finally seemed to figure out what was going on. Kame leaned into him, capturing his mouth in a kiss that still had a bit of the anger and frustration from the argument but was all the more passionate for it.
And Jin returned it wholeheartedly, slipping his arms around Kame to pull him even more tightly against him.
Kame moaned into the kiss but this time it didn’t slow him in the slightest. He wasn’t conflicted in the slightest. This… this was what he wanted. He couldn’t deny that anymore. He’d never wanted something like this before he met Jin but he now he wanted it more than anything. And maybe it was wrong and maybe it wasn’t; he didn’t know. He just knew it didn’t feel wrong.
Actually, it felt…
Special.
Yes. That was it. Special. Wonderful.
He let Jin’s tongue part his lips, slip inside…
+++
Part of Jin was scared.
He thought… no, no… more than thought. He was sure. He was so sure Kame didn’t want him. Kame said so. He said he wasn’t ready and couldn’t it just be a memory and… and…
Jin was afraid to let himself hope this time was different. Who wouldn’t be, after all that?
Hell, the two of them had just been arguing, hadn’t they?
But it felt so good. There was no hesitation whatsoever and when Kame moaned against his lips, the sound wound down through him, teasing out more tendrils of desire, overwhelming him. Without a second thought, he’d parted Kame’s lips, deepening the kiss.
He’d never had a kiss feel like that before. Never had it affect him so deeply. Maybe… could it really be love? Is that why it was so much better or was it just that Kame was so skillful? He hadn’t had a lot of experience kissing men though he’d experimented a bit (another reason that first ill-advised kiss seemed so out of nowhere and why he couldn’t even begin to understand why he’d done it). Maybe that was it? Maybe guys were just… better?
You know what? He didn’t care. He didn’t care at all.
He wanted Kame. Not just desired him though he was drowning it in it at that moment so there was no denying that. But, no, he wanted to be with him. He wanted to show him that. Show him it wasn’t just physical.
When the kiss finally broke, he found Kame was breathing just as hard as he was, if not harder. He certainly didn’t look conflicted.
But…
He was shaking, enough that Jin could see it and not just feel it.
“Kame…?” he panted, wishing his voice would behave a bit better. “Kame, what’s wrong? You’re shaking?”
Just as breathlessly, Kame whispered, “I… don’t know these… things I’m… feeling… Not… familiar… Never felt…”
+++
He was reminded strongly of a storm out at sea, or what he imagined it would be like: wave after wave battering him, his poor body, like the ship, not able to contain it or withstand it except, somehow, it did and kept going. Only it was a storm he wasn’t sure he wanted gone. It… it was good. Too good. That was the problem. Too much. He… it was this ache. He didn’t know that ache. He’d never felt it before, not once. But with the taste of Jin still on his lips and the line of their bodies pressed together so strongly…
When he was still a teenager seducing men in his room, he was able to focus enough to make himself hard, or hard enough anyway, to give the illusion of desire. But it wasn’t an enjoyable feeling and it wasn’t a strong one. The disgust it called was strong, but not the feeling itself.
Was this what it really felt like? What he inspired in so many people but had never felt for himself?
He was confused…
…but not at the same time. There was a certainty in the feeling that eliminated all his doubts.
It wasn’t just physical, though. He ached for Jin, for his voice and his presence and his touches and his smiles and his kisses and… and…
But Jin was smiling at him and that care had filled his eyes again and Kame knew. He just… he knew. He wasn’t the only one experiencing that storm and yet, even with such overwhelming feelings, Jin’s first concern was making sure he was okay and not just getting himself off to soothe his own needs.
Jin wanted him and then wanted his body. In that order.
And that made all the difference.
It wasn’t wrong to feel this way, was it? Maybe it really could be good!
Oh, how embarrassing. Tears at such a time. But they weren’t sad tears and he just kept looking up at Jin, saying, “But I’m not scared. I’m overwhelmed and I… it’s… I need… I want… but I’m not scared. I’ve just never felt this before. Please, Jin… I…”
God, what exactly was he trying to ask for, anyway? Sex? He knew he wasn’t ready for that. It couldn’t go that far. But that didn’t mean the ache was any less.
He just… he needed… something, anything, to quiet the storm…
+++
Relief at Kame’s words spread through Jin. Fear he wasn’t sure how to deal with. Desire he could handle. But it was sad, too. Had Kame really never felt it before? Not even once, in his whole life?
If this was his first time feeling it, ever, and considering what Jin knew or suspected of Kame’s past…
Oh, no wonder he freaked out after both kisses.
Well, Kame might not be afraid but, given all that, Jin was pretty sure he wasn’t exactly ready for everything either. He was overwhelmed, though, and not thinking straight. If he pushed Kame too far, he’d end up hurting him and he didn’t want to do that.
So now what?
He kissed Kame again, though it was much softer and more tender that the first one they’d just shared. Kame’s eyes fluttered closed. Jin kissed his cheek and then whispered in his ear, “Lay down with me, ne? Just trust me.”
Kame nodded and the two of them laid down on Kame’s sleeping mat which was barely big enough to fit both of them. Jin slipped one arm around Kame, pulling him in close so he could put his head on his shoulder. He let his hand wander down Kame’s chest slowly, unbuttoning and opening the shirt as he went. Once he had it open, he brought his hand back up to brush his fingertips across the naked skin, soft caresses. He could feel the scars but it didn’t change anything. It didn’t change how much he wanted him, wanted to be touching him.
Kame whimpered and unconsciously leaned into the touch and the sound almost undid all of Jin’s self control. He’d never had anyone react so strongly to such little things, never had anyone want him just that badly. But that was even more the reason he had to stay in control of himself. Kame was trusting him.
With another gentle kiss, Jin switched the direction his hand was traveling, instead making for the button and zipper to Kame’s pants. More whimpers from Kame and he just had to stop for a second, take a couple of breaths.
When Jin’s hand went to undo the button, Kame asked in a broken voice, “J..jin?” His eyes were wide.
Jin stopped mid-motion but didn’t let go of the button. “Just trust me, ne?” Jin smiled at Kame, meeting his gaze. He waited for some sign from Kame (which turned out to be a small, hesitant nod) before he continued. He got the button undone and then the zipper. “Let me take care of you.”
Sliding the pants down a bit - not far, just far enough to not get them so messy - Jin wrapped his hand around Kame’s hard shaft.
“Jin…” Kame moaned loudly, his eyes closing and his back arching a bit.
God, the sound of Kame moaning his name was so incredibly hot. He took a few more deep breaths before he trusted himself enough to continue. And when he did continue, it was an unhurried yet not too slow pace, steady…
Kame was whimpering and moaning and thrashing in his arms but he held him tightly and just kept the pace up with his hand, until Kame came in his hand with an entirely-too-loud cry followed by this little whimper and oh, god, those sounds… he wanted Kame so badly!
But he wasn’t going to have him. Not this time.
Instead, he wiped his hand on the far edge of the blanket and then pulled Kame’s pants back up for him, zipping and buttoning them because Kame was in no state to do it himself, recovering from what he was pretty sure was Kame’s first orgasm ever.
“Better?” Jin whispered and received a nod for an answer.
Kame sort of rolled more onto his side, sliding a leg over Jin and curling up against his chest. Neither of them spoke for a moment but Kame finally said, “I’m sleepy…” with a yawn. “Is that normal?”
“That’s okay. It’s late anyway. Get some sleep.”
Well, it seemed like Kame was getting sleep whether he wanted to or not. He was rapidly sinking into dreamland though he did murmur, “Stay with me…” before passing out.
So he stayed for what felt like forever to his incredibly hard dick but once he was sure he wouldn’t wake Kame, he snuck to the nearest bathroom and took care of it himself. It wasn’t what he really wanted, not by a long shot, but he just absolutely could not go to sleep like that. It was… painful.
At least he made it there without running into anyone. He’d hate to have to explain it and he definitely didn’t want Koki knowing about it.
Well, he was still completely sexually frustrated but that was as good as he was going to get right now. Taking care of it himself was definitely not a long term solution but he’d worry about that later.
He crept back to the office, locking the door behind him and sliding back into bed with Kame. Jin kissed him on the forehead and then closed his eyes. He expected good dreams that night.
++++++++++++++++++++++
The story continues:
Chapter 56 ~A Promise~
A/N: Poor Jin, no relief. But I think he understood that it needed to be like this, for the start. He needed to show Kame it wasn't all about him but that Kame's wants and needs, both physical and emotional, matter to him just as much if not more than his own. That he isn't thinking to use Kame to sate his own lust which Kame can tell he obviously does at least feel.
We'll just have to see where it goes.
Alas, Yasu didn't have the information Kame wanted. At least, not yet. We shall see.